Archive for September, 2008

Double Peter Equals Double The Fun

Alright, I’m checking in with my first ever Heroes blog.  I’m not gonna bog you down in comic mythology and super hero origins and whatnot.  I don’t know about those things and I am not going to pretend that I do.  All I’m gonna do is talk about the awesome that is Heroes.  A little background:  I started watching Heroes last summer, bought Season 1 on DVD and devoured it in about 4 days.  I had to watch it to prepare for Kristen Bell’s appearance in Season 2.  I’m a huge Veronica Mars fan and I am devoted to Kristen and Jason and several of the others on that show and I vowed to support them.  I fell for Heroes on it’s own merits, though it certainly didn’t hurt that the Petrelli boys are so so pretty.

I didn’t review the premiere but I thought it was pretty awesome.  Sylar is Angela Petrelli’s son, father unknown as of yet.  Is he Peter’s twin?  Is he older?  Younger?  The actors are the same age IRL and it’d be cool if they were twins, what with their similar powers.  Still, awesome.  Also awesome was Mama Petrelli bringing Sylar a chick to murder.  One would not think that I would ever type that sentence, but there it is. hehe And pairing up Sylar and HRG to hunt down the villains?  Genius.  Sheer genius!  How great was it when Sylar whipped out that cop accent?  HRG’s amusement and admiration was great, as was his manipulation to get Sylar to actually come in and help him.  Watching these two together is going to be a delight!

Adding the fun, current Peter was trapped inside Jesse thanks to future Peter zapping him there when Peter tried to confront him for shooting Nathan.  Yes, Future Peter shot his own brother to keep him from spilling their secret.  Seems the Heroes are hunted in the future, which makes sense.  People are afraid of things they can’t understand and people with powers would be among those things one just doesn’t get.  Anyway, Future Peter shows up and pretty much punches Current Peter out of Jesse, which was awesome.  Also Jesse’s power appears to be Super Sonic Sound Waves, which is different.  Do Future & Current Peter have those powers now?  What about Knox’s power of fear?  I think that one is really cool and has great potential.  I’m glad he got away cause I want to see him work his mojo.  Future Peter zapped himself and Current Peter away and time unfroze, forgot to mention that, and Sylar and HRG were able to take on the rest of the villains.  HRG corralled one while Sylar mentally held the other two.  He let his guard down in order to kill Jesse and take the Super Sonic Sound power and Knox scurried away.  I’d love to see Sylar hunt down all the villains solely to get their powers, though he’ll be tough to destroy in the end.  We all know it’s coming down to brother vs. brother, Peter vs. Sylar, at the end right?

On the not as interesting end of the spectrum, we have Claire, having no feelings, admitting to her birth mother that she wants revenge on Sylar for ripping her head open.  That’s a common enough reaction I would think.  Claire wants to learn to fight, which with her power, I guess she’s going to need a gun or a weapon of some kind.  Being invincible and immortal is kind of cool but rather ineffective for ass kicking purposes. She’s run off to god knows where, the paper company I’m guessing.  We’ll see, I like darker Claire, I just don’t necessarily want to see her take on her uncle’s brooding skills.

Parkman is on some kind of spirit quest in Africa.  I saw this on Buffy and was bored with it, and I’m truly bored with it here.  I like Parkman and I want him reunited with Peter and Nathan pronto.  One of the paintings hand him rescuing some girl that looked like Daphne, the speedster, so hopefully he’ll be interacting with society soon.

I’m liking Daphne ok, but the whole her and Hiro as nemesis story was cute at first and now it’s getting grating.  She’s got the formula to take back to her as yet unseen boss (Linderman?  Just a guess, he’s back to life or at least a vision right now).  It sounds like the formula is something Mohinder needs his hands on, or maybe that’s what he has now that he used to turn himself into The Fly.  Mohinder is pretty but very very dim.  Pairing him with Maya, who I want to die, is not the best way to get me to pay attention to him either.  They were not missed this last episode.

Tracy/Nikki/Jessica/Baba/whomever…sigh.  I was happy that Nikki died last year, she was rather useless.  I’m trying to keep an open mind about Tracy but it’s hard.  Her freezing power is pretty cool and she did kill off The Greatest American Hero, so at least she’s not acting all crazy like.  Now it’s sounding like she’s either an identical twin of the schizo Nikki or she’s a clone.  I’m leaning towards clone since the Doc said he created her.  I was glad to see Micah and I hope he gets to appear again, it’s sounding though like he might be out in the cold with Nikki dead.

Going back to Jesse, I was disappointed that Francis Capra didn’t get more screen time, and really disappointed that he didn’t get any interaction with Kristen Bell.  I was looking forward to a Veronica Mars reunion but no dice.  All we got was her sorta seeing him run away after her electrocution causing the cells to open.  It’s a shame, really, KB and FC had great friend chem.  I wouldn’t have minded her having to kill him, it would have been fun.  I also think it would have been interesting to have Peter trapped inside a villain for longer and having to maintain his cover.  That could have been a deep storyline to mine, not sure why they rushed it.

Thus far I’m really liking the season, the Sylar twist is my favorite as is having two Peter’s running around.  It’ll be interesting to see if Nathan goes the power corruption route after all now that he’s back in politics.  Pairing Sylar and HRG was perfect and I can’t wait to see what they do next.  Here’s hoping Parkman and Hiro get reunited with the others soon and we get to see who’s a hero and who’s a villain, more twists ahead I’m sure!

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Rather than doing my NFL Notes this week, I thought that since we are a quarter of the way through, we should go back and laugh at my preseason prognostication blog and make revised picks based upon what we’ve seen up to this point.  What better way to start a Monday than by laughing at oneself?  Without further ado, here’s what I said then and what I say now will be in red.

AFC East:

Patriots, Bills, Jets, Dolphins

Hee, obviously picks were based upon Brady’s health, so I’ve got some revising here.  I’m proud to say that I was ON with my Bills love.  I still think the Pats will edge the Jets for second, but it could go either way.

Bills, Patriots, Jets, Dolphins

AFC North:

Browns, Steelers, Bengals, Ravens

Well, I think we can safely say that the Browns have failed to live up to lofty expectations this year and the Ravens appear to be better than I was willing to give them credit for.

Steelers, Ravens, Browns, Bengals

AFC South:

Colts, Jags, Titans, Texans

Just a tad bit off on this selection!  Who’d have thought the Colts would fall so flat?  I worried about Manning’s knee but it’s the rest of the team, especially the defense, that is at issue here.

Titans, Jags, Colts, Texans

AFC West:

Chargers, Broncos, Chiefs, Raiders

I’m not feeling too badly on this one.  The Chargers are not playing that well yet but the Broncos defense is atrocious.  If I’m too make a change, it’ll be at the bottom on this one.  The Chiefs lack of QB disturbs me.

Chargers, Broncos, Raiders, Chiefs

AFC Playoffs:

Patriots, Colts, Chargers, Browns, Steelers & Jaguars

Let’s see, 2 of the 6 feel like good bets to me now.  Chargers and Steelers will likely be there in the end.  As to the rest?  I’ll stick with the Pats, due to easy scheduling, not to QB play and the Jags who are likely to get better.

Bills, Titans, Chargers, Steelers, Jags & Patriots.

NFC East:

Cowboys, Redskins, Giants, Eagles (toughest division to pick right here)

This remains the toughest division and as Sunday showed, these teams know each other well and are very capable of pulling the upset.  I obviously wasn’t high on the Super Bowl Champs which might be the worst of my preseason picks, but we’ll rectify that here.

Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Redskins (all should have winning records barring injury)

NFC North:

Vikings, Packers, Bears, Lions

Ahhh Minny, I give you my faith in the preseason and you crap the field.  Should have known better than to go with a team without a QB.  Before this last group of games the Pack would be the easy pick to win the division but the Bears seem to be settling down a bit.  For now we’ll go with:

Packers, Bears, Vikings, Lions

NFC South:

Saints, Bucs, Panthers, Falcons

This is another tough division to forecast.  The Saints have the best O but a crappy D, Bucs and Panthers will continue to be enigmas all season long. I think Tampa is better than Carolina, so I’ll put them in the spotlight.  Do me proud boys.

Bucs, Panthers, Saints, Falcons

NFC West:

Seahawks, Cardinals, Rams, 49ers

Ahh the division of suck.  Will the Seahawks get healthy enough to take the division?  Will the Rams win a game?  I do not know.  Would have picked the Cardinals to win before they gave up 56 points to the New York Favres this weekend.

Seahawks, Cardinals, 49ers, Rams (keep that 0-16 alive for me!)

NFC Playoffs:

Cowboys, Saints, Seahawks, Vikings, Redskins and I’ll put my Bucs here, though I wouldn’t be surprised if both wildcard teams came from the NFC East.

Well I don’t feel too badly about these, I’d go with Cowboys, Seahawks, Packers, Bucs, Giants & Eagles.  The NFC East has to produce both wild cards right?


Patriots defeat Cowboys

Clearly I am not sticking with this prediction.  I’m going to assume that the Chargers get their crap together, they have a very talented team.  I’m also going to give the champs their due credit.

Chargers over Giants


Peyton Manning

Not unless he manages to carry that team deep into the postseason and I don’t see it right now.  Maybe I’ll go with little brother.  He doesn’t stand out like Peyton does but he’s just winning baby.

Eli Manning

Offensive Player of the Year:

Adrian Peterson

Eh, I don’t feel too badly about this one at this point.  I can’t think of anyone else lighting it up, maybe Drew Brees, but I’ll stay with AP.

Defensive Player of the Year:

this is tougher….I’ll go with a refreshed Jason Taylor on a new team

Seeing as Jason Taylor has been injured much of the first quarter, I’m thinking no.  I’ll go with Albert Haynesworth in Tennessee, their D is a monster right now.

Offensive Rookie of the Year:

Darren McFadden, Raiders

He’s not getting the playing time I figured on, so right now I’d lean toward Chris Johnson in Tennessee.

Defensive Rookie of the Year:

Sedrick Ellis, Saints

Stumped to think of any rookie on D that’s getting attention right now, so I’ll stick with the initial pick.

So that’s where I am right now.  I may sneak in and make some changes as sanity prevails, but this is what my heart says right now.  Any other football fans out there, feel free to add your picks in my comments section or just make fun of mine.  I’m sure they’ll be laughable by the time the season ends.

See, I got one thing very right.  My picks are downright laughable in retrospect.  I knew preseason prognosticating would bite me in the butt, but looking at these amused me and hopefully will amuse you as well.  I’ll revisit the revisiting halfway in and see if the NFL has righted itself a little or if chaos is still reigning supreme.

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The Fix Is Clearly In

I was ready to do my college football wrap-up post lauding the USC loss and laughing over the fact that they were more than likely out of the national championship race already.  Then Saturday’s games happened and it’s clear, the fix is in.  The NCAA, in order to save itself some money after having already engraved the crystal trophy with USC’s future win, must have pulled some strings to have the rest of the top teams dropping like flies.  First, Florida loses to Ole Miss in the Swamp.  I could see it at Ole Miss, but in their own house???  Then Wisconsin loses to an inept Michigan team.  The ACC’s only undefeated team (although they should have lost last week), Wake Forest loses to NAVY.  Yes, I said Navy!  Then GA gets waxed by Alabama at home.  I could have picked GA to lose, but not to get dominated the way they did.  You watch, USC will be ranked something like #5 despite their loss because of all these other teams going down.

Oh, one more USC/Oregon State comment.  Jacquiz Rogers is the man and now my second college boyfriend behind Knowshon.  In order to be my college boyfriend, you have to be awesome and have a very cool name.  It doesn’t get much cooler than Knowshon and Jacquiz.  Congrats boys, you have been selected for a high honor.  Knowshon didn’t get much of a chance to shine tonight, with GA falling behind 31-0 at halftime, but I don’t think that hurts his Heisman chances.  It’s not like he’s a QB costing the team the game!

Returning to the aforementioned Florida game, I only have one thing to say: HAHAHAHAHAH!!!  That was awesome.  Alright, I have more than one thing to say, but the overriding emotion is sheer hilarity.  Why did Florida lose?  Because precious Tebow could not convert a 4th and 1/2 with 50 seconds left.  That was funny in and of itself, since UF fans will swear to you that Tebow walks on water and converts said water into wine in his spare time.  But even worse was the fact that they were in field goal range.  I realize their kicker is not the best on the planet, and they had the extra point that would have tied it blocked, but they could have at least made the attempt.  But no, the hubris of Urban Meyer bit the Gators on the ass.  Yeah, Tebow is f’in Superman.  Tell me a new one Gator fans.  Just remember, you still lost 4 games when Mr. Perfect was handed the Heisman.  He can keep winning Heisman’s and losing games, that’s just fine by me.

Wisconsin was once again exposed as a pretender when they lost at Michigan today.  They had a big lead but couldn’t maintain against a team that’s had as an anemic an offense as I’ve seen.  The Big 10 just can’t compete on a national stage running their old school offenses anymore.  Penn State remains undefeated, for now, and they seem to have an offense, but wake me when they play someone decent.   IL is ok but hardly a powerhouse.  I believe Northwestern is 5-0 but they’re unranked so that tells me something about the quality of teams they’ve been playing.

I like a couple of teams in the Big 12 but I don’t yet know for sure how good they really are as they’ve played nobody.  OK, Missouri and Texas are all undefeated, but we need them to start playing one another to have a true measuring stick.  And no, OK beating up on TCU does not count for me.  They’re the Horned Frogs, nuff said.

My Noles should be 4-0 this week.  I said last week that Wake didn’t win that game, the Noles lost it and I stand by that this week.  Especially with Wake having gone down to NAVY of all people.  If Wake doesn’t get turnovers, they don’t win, period.  My Noles were pretty good against Colorado today.  The defense is for real, and they have still been solid in recent years, but they were dominant most of the game.  Two late scores for Colorado made it look less respectable, but we were in prevent at that time.  I hate prevent by the way.  Christian Ponder didn’t play very well in the first half but he seemed to have found his confidence in the second half.  He was greatly helped by the running game.  For the first time that I can remember the Noles ran for over 200 yards.  Antoine Smith had a great game, including a 60 yard TD run and 2 other rushing TD’s.  We need to cultivate that running game to offset the inexperience at QB.  There were a few less penalties this game too, certainly no backbreaking ones like last week.  Nice to see.  If only we had had just one of those special teams plays last week, we’d have won that game against Wake.  Woulda, coulda, shoulda.  Sigh.

I thought Miami might be the cream of the crop in the NCAA but then they lost at home to UNC.  I must say, that game was very exciting.  Miami was throwing for the winning TD and somehow the UNC corner plucked the ball out of the WR’s hands to seal off the game.  Awesome.  I don’t know who the best team in the ACC is, though arguing that might be futile anyway.  With no undefeated teams left, the ACC is hardly in the running for best conference.

Ohio State had Beanie Wells back today and he and Pryor combined to have a decent game.  One can only wonder what they would have done with Beanie and Pryor against USC.  I guarantee it would have been a lot closer than it actually was.

LSU was decent against Miss State.  There was a time there when they were only up by 7 and it looked like Miss might hang with them but they pulled away in the second half.  I bet they’ll move up to #2 behind Oklahoma.  Looking forward to whenever they play Bama, whomever wins that one might have the inside track to the SEC championship.

I honestly think it’s safe to say that parity reigns in college football.  I mean, truly, who is a powerhouse anymore?  USC, clearly not.  OK?  Can’t say yet.  UF, nope.  AL?  They look good but they’re not scary.  There is no air of invincibility like teams like Miami had in the 80’s and early 00’s, FSU in the 90’s, Nebraska in their heyday.  Maybe they should make a movie called On Any Given Saturday, because it sure feels like anybody could be had these days.

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Week 4 NFL Picks

After a stellar 10-5 week, I feel I’m on the right track.  I’ve got it figured out now, so these picks should be dead on from here on out.  That or I’ll go below .500 for the first time, I can feel it coming.  Let’s see what this week holds, shall we?

Cleveland over Cincy: In the battle for who starts 1-3 and who starts 0-4.  It should be gripping and exciting.  Or it could be the most boring game of the weekend.  You decide.  It’s now or never for Cleveland.  As for Cincy?  They should just start over.

Tennessee over Minnesota: Minny got the right track last week with the Gus Frerotte era, but I think they come back down to earth against that Tennessee defense.  Who would have thought Tenn could be 4-0 to start the year?  Not me, that’s for sure!

Denver over KC: If I had any money to bet, I’d bet it all on Denver.  KC is atrocious.  The Tyler Thigpen (WHO?) era got off to an inauspicious start last week.  Will KC ever win or are they my best shot at 0-16?  I’ll have to see if they play the Rams at all.

New Orleans over San Fran: The 9ers are showing definite signs of life, but they’re showing them against crappy teams like the Rams and Seattle (sorry but I could start at WR for the Hawks and I’m 5’4″).  NO had a heartbreaker at Denver last week and I expect them to return to form here.  Shockey’s absence won’t hurt them this game.

Arizona over the Jets: I’m going out on a limb here, shouldn’t bet against Favre three weeks in a row probably but I just don’t think the Jets are that great, sorry.  Zona gagged at the Skins last week but I think they’ll be back to form this week.

Green Bay over Tampa Bay: Ahh the battle of teams that were in the Favre mess but didn’t land him. Much anticipated.  Or not.  Tampa had a stirring come back win last weekend against Chicago and GB got stomped pretty badly by Dallas.  But GB has an offense and the Bucs D has been getting tired in the second half of games, so GB is the pick.

Carolina over Atlanta: The seesaw continues for Matt Ryan.  Bad defense, good defense, bad defense, good defense.  He’s won the bad D games and form should hold and he’ll lose the good D games.

Jacksonville over Houston: The Jags finally got back on track last week, their running game was well over 200 yards and Gerrard protected the ball.  Houston is terrible and seems to have stepped back this year after having some positive movement this year.  Jags with the win.

San Diego over Oakland: Lane Kiffin is still employed right?  Why does Al Davis drag this stuff out?  SD was back in form this weekend and I don’t see them losing here without having half the team go down.

Buffalo over St. Louis: And the Bills go to 4-0 also.  What a strange year this is.  Meanwhile, the Rams have Trent Green at QB.  Did anybody see that and think, Trent Green?  I thought he was retired!  What year is this?  Just me?  Ok…well I don’t know when Trent last played but it’s been awhile.  I don’t foresee this experiment going well, but who knows, maybe he’ll be the next Gus Frerotte (surprisingly that is not a slam this year, hehe).

Dallas over Washington: The Skins were good last week but I don’t think they have the offense to hang with Dallas.  The Boys roll along.

Philly over Chicago: The Bears had the kind of game that can affect a season, giving up 10 points in the final 6 minutes and then losing their cool in OT and losing the game.  Philly has been impressive, even in their one loss to Dallas.  Easy pick here.

Pittsburgh over Baltimore: I remain a nonbeliever in the Ravens.  Maybe their D is back to form but that inexperienced offense has to cost them a game here or there right?  Ben got beaten up badly last weekend but I think the Steelers pull it out in a slugfest.

Last Week:10-5

Season Record: 26-20

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Before I fully begin this blog, let me give you a little background to what drove me to write it and warn you of the great potential that it will turn into a full blown rant.  I was on the NBC boards for Days this morning and see a topic that is a letter to to the writers.  It started off well written and outlined a few of the problems that this person had with the show in general, then turned into yet another attempt at pushing the couple this person supports.  It didn’t help that said couple was my much loathed Chan pairing, but it also enraged me on a different level as well.

I’ve commented on this a little before, mainly in a back and forth commentary with the ever awesome Paxton in the Oh Baby! blog, but it was time to expand upon it here.  The writers and producers are not going to get a pass from me, they’re the ones putting the show on air and taking it in the direction we currently see, but they’re not alone in the blame for what we’re seeing.  The fans are a big part of the problem as well.

When did we become so involved in our shows that we felt entitled to have the story go the way we expect it to, particularly when it comes to couples?  I mean, what makes my opinion more valid than the next guys?  I think I’m awesome, but I’m sure there are plenty of people who don’t agree and that’s just fine.   You go to the message boards and you can find support for just about any damn thing, some of it’s real, some of it’s joking or retaliation to something another fanbase wants.  The thing I keep seeing, over and over again, is the threat that if I don’t get MY couple, then I’m not watching!  I’ve put in X amount of time on this couple and I deserve to see them play out!  How dare they derail the perfect love story that is this couple and go with the chemistry free pairing that is that couple???  It goes on and on, but you get my point.

I’m partially guilty of this, not giving myself a free pass here by any means.  I like who I like and if you dick around with them, I’m going to get mad.  However, I have never posted that I am going to quit the show if they don’t go with whatever couple I happen to like.  As long as the story makes sense though, I can generally go along with it.  I’ve loved Bo & Hope since they became a couple, but when Hope was “dead” and Bo moved on with both Carly and Billie, I was able to enjoy those pairings.  When Hope returned, I understood that Bo wasn’t ready to just go back, he’d moved on and I could understand it.  Did I root for them to get back together?  Damn straight I did.  But I didn’t write letters or threaten to quit the show if I didn’t get my way either.  The story as it was written made sense, the conflict felt real and you could understand why Bo wasn’t ready to dump Billie just because Hope was back.  It made for good soap.

Unlike what we have now, where fanbases are dictating storylines.   I focus specifically on the EJami, EJole, Lumi, Phloe, etc grouping.  The spoilers we have, which I’ve already discussed, feel like further catering to angry fans.  And when you cater to all of them you end up telling a crappy story that satisfies nobody.   You can actually picture the writers saying to themselves, “Alright, we gave EJami a happy little family moment last week, so this week we need let EJole have a romantic moment to offset that.”  “Sami got to have sex with EJ, so Lucas should get to have sex with someone….let’s throw him with Chloe!”  And on and on.  Is there one person who is a fan of any of the pairings that is happy with the way they’ve been written?  I can see EJole fans possibly being appeased for now, but that’s only for the moment because there’s more stuff coming that will swing the pendulum yet again.  It’s just tiresome, you know what I mean?

And now I’ll address Chan.  I did not post in the post on NBC, I knew I was not going to be able to do it without getting myself banned from the site altogether.  Which, actually, might be a good thing because I truly am sick of the attitudes of the people who post there.  But one must keep their options open, never know when I’ll have to go there to fight the good fight again (just in case that Chan fanbase does get their way).  I find it extraordinarily insulting that Chelsea/Daniel fans feel that they are entitled to get their pairing because they have invested all of 6 months or so into the couple.  6 months people!  We’re not talking 25 years like Bo & Hope or S&K or even 15-20 years of Jarlena, who I also hate but I can at least understand the emotional investment some have to them.   The way those whiners carry on you’d think that Chelsea and Daniel had been the second coming of Romeo and Juliet (who had a much shorter yet more believable romance as well, by the way).

I outlined all the problems I had with Chan eons ago, so I won’t rehash it all, but it seems to me that Chan fans had to fanwank an entire relationship into happening.  What they see doesn’t at all match with what I saw on the screen.  They yammer about finding one another through their mutual pain.  WTF?  What pain does Chelsea have?  She killed her brother and got forgiven by everyone under the sun.  She lost her parents but found a bigger, happier family that she was wholeheartedly accepted into, even after she killed her brother.  Daniel apparently had a wife die, a wife he barely knew by all accounts, as he met and married her from her damn death bed.  Since then he’s been surfing the world and playing the field.  I don’t see a lot of pain there.  When you have to make up your reasons for liking a couple, how valid are they really?  Throw in the fact that they were in love before their first date (supposedly, he never showed love in my eyes) and the age difference and you lost me and a majority of the audience.  Sorry, but it’s true.  And there’s no changing that, they were fucked up from the start.

When I read these people carrying on about a couple that was barely a blip on the radar that is Days, it just irritates me to no end.  And when these people take valid criticisms of the show and use those to further the agenda of their coupling, it really diminishes what they were saying in the first place.  It’s time for the writers and producers of Days to stop listening to the fans and just tell their damn story.  If it sucks, we’ll stop watching, they’ll lose their jobs and the show will end and that’s fine, what will be will be.  Writing haphazardly and trying to please this fanbase and that fanbase is not helping the show at all.  It will probably drive it into the ground before just telling the stories the right way would.

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NFL Notes Week 3

Week 3 in the NFL was another wild one, with two overtime games and a couple last second wins.  There was actually some defense played, which is nice, and one Manning magic drive was a game winner and another was just a footnote after the Jags drove the field in about a minute and kicked the game winning TD.  Anyway, on to the thoughts.

  • I guess I’ll start with the game I’m most familiar with, Tampa at the Bears.  I thought the game was over when the Bears came back from being down 14-6 to take a 17-14 lead.  The Bucs running game was virtually nonexistent, Griese and the receivers were not hooking up and the Bucs had several bad turnovers.  Before you could blink, it was 24-14 with 6 minutes left.  The Bucs drove the field and got a field goal, a very tired defense got the ball back to the offense and they drove the field and scored a TD to tie the game.  In OT, the Bears had the Bucs pinned at their own 6 and seemingly had them stopped on 3rd down but Tillman got a 15 yard personal foul penalty to extend the drive.  Tampa went back into hurry up offense and got down to the 3 before kicking a field goal.  The Bears defeated Tampa in OT 2 years ago so this time, turnabout was fair play.
  • Griese passed 67 times in the win, completing 38 of them.  He was by far most effective in the hurry up, accounting for all the scoring.
  • The game was marred by fighting that started on the first possession of the game.  Donald Penn and Tillman got into it and there were a couple of skirmishes later, finally ending with Tillman’s really costly one in overtime.  On review, Tampa’s Trueblood started it, but as we saw in the first quarter when Tampa got the flag, it’s the second guy who gets punished most of the time.  Very costly move by Tillman.
  • Pittsburgh needed 2 scores at the of the game to win but they chose to go for the touchdown on 4th and 10 instead of kicking the field goal and trying to get the ball back.  There have been some really crappy coaching decisions this year, you’d think after seeing the Browns stupidly go for 3 when they needed 7 that Tomlin and co would no better but no.  Philly got the win in a surprising defensive battle, 15-6.  Westbrook went out with an injury, but they think it was just an ankle strain I guess so he should be back soon.
  • Today we got two examples of that old Manning magic, one by Peyton, one by Eli.  I used to say “In Manning I trust” when making my Colts picks, it looks like I really need to start putting it toward the Giants as well.  They had to rally to go into OT against the Bengals but Manning found Plaxico in OT and led the team to another field goal.  The champs are 3-0 and looking good so far.
  • Big brother Peyton managed to bring his team back from being down 20-14 to take the lead 21-20 with less than two minutes left.  Unfortunately for him, Gerrard worked some of his own magic and the Jags drove the field and got their first win with a field goal with 8 seconds remaining.  Still, Peyton is amazing to watch in those moments and you know if he’d have had a minute, we probably would have had a different ending.
  • The Colts D got gashed by the Jags running game.  Oh what a difference that defense is without Bob Sanders on the field.  I think we’ll see some more struggles from them.
  • The Jags weren’t the only predicted playoff team to get their first win today, Minnesota finally chalked one up in the win column.  Gus Frerotte was the answer at QB, at least for one day.  They finally scored a passing touchdown, so that’s an improvement right?
  • Denver, the team without a defense, went to 3-0 today by holding off the Saints 34-32.  The Saints are defensively challenged as well so this one must have been a fun one.  I didn’t get to see it so I can’t tell you much, but until Denver gets better on the defensive side of the ball I won’t expect much of them.
  • Ahhh Martin Gramatica missed a 43 yarder with less than 2 minutes to go and Denver was able to hang on that way.  Not overly impressive, but I’m glad that Martin is back to doing what he was doing his later years in Tampa.  At least this time he helped us with a miss, I’ll take it.
  • Well, welcome to the NFL Matt Cassel.  Miami kicked the crap out of NE at their own house today.  The NE defense had been rather stout up til today, but today Ronnie Brown ran for 4 TD’s and threw for another.  I still think NE could go to the playoffs but they’ve got to play better on defense.
  • I am not that surprised that Miami got the win, even with Brady behind center Miami usually plays them tough.
  • The 0-16 dream remains alive for another week.  The Rams, Chiefs, Bengals, Browns and Lions all checked in with losses, with only the Bengals showing a bit of heart today.  They’ll be in the win column sooner than the other three I imagine.
  • First coach fired after Al Davis gets rid of Lane Kiffin, probably this week?  I’m still going with Linehan in St. Louis, but any of the 5 winless could go first, though I bet the Browns won’t can Crennel.
  • A quick word about Cleveland though, really?  The Ravens?  Talk about folding under expectations.  I don’t see them coming back from this.
  • On the other end of the spectrum, the Bills, Titans, Broncos & Giants are all 3-0.  I don’t think I would have picked any of these teams to be the front runners going into the season, but there you have it.  Maybe the Giants, but I really did think they were more of a fluke.
  • The Bills continue to impress, especially Trent Edwards.  The kid is cool under pressure and drove them to yet another last second win.  Right now they’re my money pick to win the AFC East, mark it down.
  • Matt Ryan must have been thrilled to get away from Tampa and hit yet another team without a defense.  Could playing 2 of your first 3 games against the Lions and Chiefs be the best way to enter the NFL?  I say yes.  I also say, don’t get too excited, Atlanta, cause the 2 teams you’re tied with in your division do know how to play defense.  Enjoy the cupcakes while you can!
  • And Green Bay comes a little bit back to earth.  Aaron Rodgers has had a couple glorious weeks but the reality is that Dallas is just a better team.  GB’s fine, they’ll take their division but I don’t expect them to make much noise in the playoffs when all is said and done.
  • Only two catches for TO on Sunday night, though he opened things up for the rest of the Boys.  Miles Austin anyone?  Still, he apparently didn’t talk to the press after the game, I’d lay money that he was irritated not to shine on a big stage.

Going into the Monday night game I’m 9-5, so we’ll be above .500 for another week.  This thrills me because the early scores were not promising today and I was sure I was going to turn in an all time low.  See you next week for whatever craziness week 4 holds.

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I’m going to try to write coherently even though 10 hours later I have a lot of residual rage over the most bumbling offensive game I’ve seen in a long time.  I mean, I don’t understand what happened there.  And I’ll be honest, after half time I only flipped back to see if the offense could get its heads out of its ass because they weren’t worth my time otherwise.  I know Wake beat FSU 31-0 a couple of years ago, who could forget really?, but I honestly don’t remember that offense being as terrible as the one we put on the field last night.  7 turnovers, really?  And a bunch of them were just awful, like Ponder & Richardson thought we were in the white jerseys.

The truly galling thing is that defense played awesome football.  They held Wake to 12 points, all field goals, despite 7 turnovers.  They deserved a win and I honestly thought for the longest time they’d get one.  I figured they’d have to do the scoring, but the Noles D can and does score so why not?  Alas, it was not to be.  On their best turnover, Carter picked up a fumble and advanced it to the Wake 30, but we got consecutive penalties that moved us back to the FSU 20.  The hell?  how do you lose 50 yards in a play or two?

I realize that the Nole’s first two opponents were cupcakes, but the fact is we hadn’t handled the cupcakes like cupcakes in about 8 years.  We struggled with them, gave up a lot of points and usually at the half I was worried that we were going to lose to a division 2 or subschool or whatever they call that division these days.  But those two games did something the past 5 years had not done, they gave me hope that FSU was on the right path.  Last night I got sucker punched in the gut by that hope, like being taunted by the football gods for daring to believe.  I still have a sliver of hope left, I think the talent is there but it needs to be coached up.  I didn’t like them benching Ponder for Richardson, musical QB’s has never worked for FSU.  If Ponder earned the starting job, let him stick it out and see if he can bring us back.  It was only 3-0 at that time for crying out loud.  Yes, he was sucking, but Richardson quite obviously didn’t do much better.  I don’t mind bringing him in for option plays but if it’s Ponder’s team, let him run it.

Alright, the Noles stuff is out of my system and I can talk about the other, much more awesome games that I spent my time on.  LSU/Auburn…so awesome!  The big hits and great defense, for awhile, followed by big plays and comebacks and excitement.  Both teams were great, I was very impressed.  LSU came away with the win and they have to be thrilled.  I know they’ve got a new QB this year but they haven’t missed a step.  Auburn was also impressive, they’re opening up their offense (after last weeks 3-2 win, haha) and they have some good pieces in place.

My college boyfriend this year is one Knowshon Moreno of GA.  Did you guys see his first touchdown?  He flew into the air like Superman with the arm extended.  It was incredible looking.  GA looked much better this week than they have the first two, hope they’re finding their stride because their schedule is brutal starting next week.

That opponent that UGA pounded?  Arizona State.  Of the Pac of Nobodies Except USC conference.  Oregon lost to Boise State yesterday as well.  Boise State is awesome, see the BCS game against OK a couple years ago, but COME ON.  UCLA lost again after getting pasted by BYU last week.

Remember when everyone wrote the ACC off week one because Clemson got their butts kicked by Alabama?  Well I said then that it was a little early to do so and this week helped my point.  Miami waxed Texas A&M at home yesterday.  North Carolina State knocked off #15 East Carolina.  GA Tech beat the heck out of Miss State and Boston College beat up on UCF, who had an awesome game just a week ago against ranked USF.  Clemson choking in a big game to start the year was almost a guarantee.  They always choke in big games.  I think the media picked the wrong team to take the conference.  Miami is looking like they’re back.

In the discussion about worst conference, you have to throw the Big Least in with the Pac of Nothing But USC conference.  West Virginia, who for some inexplicable reason was still ranked after East Carolina kicked them up and down the field, lost again.  They were supposed to be the cream of the conference.  The only team there that looks like they’ll take the crown, USF, struggled with Florida International.  WTH?  They’ve not been nearly as impressive as they were last year, Grothe is a senior and I can’t see them reloading and contending after he’s gone.

Don’t worry, Notre Dame, I haven’t forgotten you.  Remember last week when you beat Michigan and people took that as a sign that you were coming back to prominence?  Um no…Michigan just sucks that badly.  Michigan State dominated the game and the only thing that kept ND close for awhile was that they held them to field goals.  Javon Ringer is a beast and he’ll be a heck of an NFL back.  Sorry ND, back to mediocrity for you.

Ohio State, back from, it’s pasting by USC, won unimpressively (new word) over Troy, but props to them for turning the team over to Pryor.  He’s a real talent and it’s worth a loss here or there to get the future of your team experience.  Next year will be a whole new ball game (see Noles, this is how we do it).

The only conference that could give SEC a run for the best conference this year is the Big 12 but most of them have yet to play anybody of substance, so I’m withholding judgment.  OK looks impressive, but we’ll see when the play someone decent.  Ditto Texas.  I really like Missouri, they have the best QB in their conference, but they played a sloppy game yesterday, won by 21 but it didn’t seem like it.  We’ll see…I will wait til they play one another to judge what they have.

So another week goes by and these are the things I learned this week; the SEC is looking good, the Noles are NOT back, the Pac-10 is a bunch of posers and few teams have been tested yet.  Next week we’ll see what’s what.  Until then, if you see FSU’s offense wandering the streets, please point them back to Tallahassee.

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This weeks breaking Days news has set the fan bases into a tizzy like I’ve never seen.  That’s not to say that it’s not possible that there have been other things to set fans off, but I haven’t come across anything quite this insane.  I’ve avoided the EJami/Lumi conversations so it’s likely not the worst it’s ever been, but it’s the worst I’ve been exposed to.

First came word that Nicole was going to find out she was pregnant in a couple weeks.  That set the EJami fans into a flurry of tears and histrionics and threats to quit the show once and for all.  Then, yesterday news breaks that Sami is also going to find out that she’s carrying a bundle of joy.  Now EJole fans are pissed, Lumi fans are pissed and in denial and EJami fans are pissed that Nicole gets to be pregnant and rain on the EJami baby situation.

I am definitely on the Days doesn’t need any more babies train.  We have Johnny and Allie, Sami’s twins, and Baby Joe, Steve and Kayla’s bundle of joy.  That doesn’t seem like that many babies but in a town of 20 some people, it’s more than enough.  Plus Ciara and Theo are in that 4/5 range.  The worst thing about soap babies is that they either make parents appear neglectful, because they’re off living lives and have their children nowhere to be seen, or they make the parents boring, because all they’re doing is interacting with their kids, talking about the kids or worrying about their kids.

Sami’s pregnancy was a big part of what ruined her character.  During that time period all she did was cry and carry on and beg Lucas to love her.  She also schemed with EJ to deal with Stefano, but that was the only time she was interesting.  God knows what it’s going to be like the second go round.

The main question, of course, is whether EJ is the father of both babies, as he should be, since neither woman has been seen sleeping with another man, or will paternity of one of the babies be retconned to appease one of the rabid fan bases?  Days provided a hint that they might use this safety net yesterday when they had Nicole and Dan have an intimate little talk at the bar during which he mentioned that they were well beyond talking about the weather.  It was a weird comment considering the only scene they ever shared was when Dan first came on the scene and thought she was “hot” at Victor’s party.

Sami’s babies paternity could also be retconned to being Lucas’, I suppose, but that would piss me off even more than Dan would as Nicole’s because Lucas has been pissed at Sami since he got out of prison.  You can tell me certain things happened off screen and I’ll believe them, albeit reluctantly, but don’t tell me something happened that directly contradicts everything we’ve viewed for months on end.  That just pisses me off.

Here’s what I see happening.  Nicole finds out she’s pregnant first, this is fact, and prepares to tell EJ over their dinner date.  Sami finds out she is pregnant as well, probably the same day of the dinner date.  Just as Nicole gets ready to tell EJ that she’s having his baby, Sami will come screeching into the restaurant and scream at him that he got her pregnant.  I’d like to believe that she won’t be screaming, but let’s face it, that’s what Sami does these days so I imagine that’s how it’ll play out.  Nicole will be upset by this news, seeing that EJ will be forever tied to Sami, now even doubly so, and she won’t tell him she’s pregnant after all. That’ll come out later down the road I imagine.

What I fear is that Higley will decide to write dueling pregnancy hijinks, having both pregnant Sami and pregnant Nicole living in DiMansion and fighting and driving everyone insane.  The only saving grace for this will be Stefano’s reaction.  I’d actually like to see Sami & Stefano team up in an attempt to get Nicole out of the house, bringing Sami back to her fighting, gray roots.  I want real Sami to come back.

Another question would be, will both pregnancies make it to term?  I imagine Sami’s will be carried to term, since Ali Sweeney is pregnant in real life and the point of writing her pregnancy in is that they don’t have to hide it.  Nicole is supposed to have fertility issues, so her even being pregnant is a bit of stretch, though on soaps fertility issues just mean you’ll have only one baby, not none.  Throw in the fact that Nicole drinks like a fish and that doesn’t bode well for the little fetus.  I believe Days has already done a fetal alcohol syndrome baby story line when Zach/JT were born, so I hope we’re not going to repeat that.  After this “groundbreaking” autism story, I don’t think we could handle another PSA.

I initially wrote this in an attempt to figure out how I felt about the situations, but I am still in a weird place with it.  I have my days of liking EJole, I have my days of liking EJami.  Making one pregnant would of course make EJ lean toward the pregnant woman, so having both pregnant will level the playing field I guess.  I don’t want EJ to choose his woman based on her having a baby, so I’m kinda glad they’ll both be knocked up.  But, of course, I don’t want more soap babies.  Such issues!

I also don’t want Nicole to change and I always fear a baby will bring on a major personality change, as we saw with Sami.  Nicole has already softened, which isn’t a bad thing, but she’s not as independent as she was prior to falling for EJ.  I enjoyed her attitude toward men and sex and that’s changed since the elevator situation.  Today EJ and Nicole had a very romantic, cute discussion about going on a date, and I fear that will all go out the window once the baby bellies start hitting the screen.

I honestly don’t have a preference which female EJ ends up with, so long as she’s written well (which is of course the problem with Higley).  The dual pregnancies could be a really good story in the right hands.  Nicole struggling with becoming a mother when she’s never wanted a kid, EJ torn between two women who both actually want him (if Sami is written as wanting him of course) and Sami dealing with not being first in EJ’s eyes anymore and having to fight for her man.  Let’s face it, that’s when Sami was the most rootable, when she was not the Belle of the Ball.  Her two years with Ej and Lucas panting after her have done her no favors, so a return to being the odd one out could do a lot to bring her back.

I just ask that if we’re going to be saddled with a couple more soap babies, that the story be well written and engaging.  I know that is probably too much to ask, but it really is doable.  The actors can all bring it when they want to, so give them something worth bringing to our screens.  I’m going to hold on to hope, although that’s hard to do these days.  It’s going to be an interesting 6-9 months (however far along we are in these pregnancies, Salem time runs in an alternate universe), at least I hope so.

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NFL Picks Week 3

After a much improved mark of 8-7 last week, and my much improved I mean I missed one less game, probably because one less was played, I’m back and determined to be better than ever.  I’d just like to point out that if the games only went 3 quarters last week, I would have been golden!  But no, Minnesota couldn’t hang on for another quarter.  Nor could the Eagles.  Nor could Seattle.  It’ll be remembered, let me tell you!  On to the picks:

Atlanta over Kansas City: I think the Chiefs might be the worst team in the league.  Do they play the Rams?  That would be the true measurement of which is the worst.  Keeping the hopes for 0-16 alive.  Matt Ryan will be thrilled to play against another crappy defense, he had to face a real one last week and had some issues.  Fortunately for him, few teams are actually playing decent defense this year, so Atlanta should be much improved.

Buffalo over Oakland: Yes my AFC dark horse is moving right along.  I knew I should have picked them over Jacksonville last week but I didn’t think the Jags could actually pull 0-2 to start the season.  Trent Edwards is looking pretty good this year and I think Buff could take 1st or 2nd in the AFC East.

Tampa Bay over Chicago: I am still a nonbeliever when it comes to Kyle Orton.  I look to the Bucs to shut down Forte and the running game and make Orton attempt to beat them.  Griese gets to go against his old team and last week Dunn did and we won, so we’ll go with that formula again.  I expect Graham to have a big day.

Tennessee over Houston: I still don’t know much about Houston, who got blown out by Pitt in the first week and were off last week due to Ike.  Tenn keeps winning and their defense is playing good ball, so they’re the pick here.

Carolina over Minnesota: Minnesota has crossed me two weeks in a row.  Now they’re changing their QB, but they’re changing to Gus Frerotte and I don’t know just how I feel about that.  Carolina has also pulled a win out of their ass two weeks in a row so I’ll bet on them to do the same again, because I hate them so they like to piss me off.

New England over Miami: The Matt Cassel era got off to a solid if unimpressive start against King Brett and the boys, so I look for him to maintain the production against a much lesser team.  It’s amazing how much better NE defense is playing right now, it’s like they took last year off cause the team could outscore everybody but this year the defense will be what will carry them to the playoffs.  Miami, as always, continues to suck.

NY Giants over Cincy: I’ve learned my lesson, I’m not doubting the Giants and I’m not ever picking Cincy (unless they’re playing the Rams or KC, then I’ll consider it).  The Marvin Lewis firing watch is underway.

Arizona over Washington: Wash righted the ship last weekend against the Saints (and thanks for that by the way, that was another I lost in the last quarter but I hate the Saints so it’s all good) but Arizona is looking really good on offense.  Obviously going with Warner was the thing to do, Boldin’s been a beast so far this year and Edgerrin James has actually been sighted on the field.  Arizona is the pick here, though it could easily go the other way.

San Francisco over Detroit: I don’t know what to say about this except that it should be a high scoring game judging by the two defenses we’ve seen and the Marinelli and Nolan firing watches are also officially underway.  SF gets picked since they managed to beat Seattle last week, even though I apparently could have played receiver for Seattle they’re so thin.

Denver over New Orleans: Speaking of high scoring games, what would the over/under on this one be?  70?  80?  Defense will not be the name of the game here.  I’m giving Denver the nod since they’re at home but I could easily see the Saints take it as well.  Rooting interest is with Denver, so that’s what I’m going with.

Philly over Pittsburgh: Philly was impressive on Monday night, a fumbled hand-off away from beating Dallas in Dallas.  Pittsburgh was ok in Cleveland, weather conditions were terrible and Ben’s got a sore shoulder, so I wasn’t blown away by them.  Philly takes it in the battle of PA.

Indy over Jacksonville: Why?  Because Manning bit me in the ass last week.  I think he may be officially back.  Jax has not been impressive at all this year.  Usually they play Indy tough but I think Manning and the receivers are through the kinks from not having him around all summer, so they’re my pick.

Cleveland over Baltimore: If Cleveland is ever going to live up to their expectation, they have to take a win here.  Rookie QB going against a pretty bad defense, so we’ll see what happens.  Anderson and Edwards have to get their shit together and hopefully this is the week that they do it.  I still hate Balt for giving Miami it’s lone win last year, so they shall be rewarded with losing this game.  I declare it!

Dallas over Green Bay: This should be a fun game.  More high scoring!  This weekend should be a lot of fun.  Anyway, Dallas looks like the best team in the league right now, at least on offense.  So I’m picking them even though Aaron Rodgers has been more than capable in taking over the Packers.  Should be a good one.

San Diego over NY Jets: Alright, SD got jobbed last week with that early whistle.  We all know it.  Of course, I’m sure most every team has been hurt by that whistle since the rule came down.  That being said, they have to be really angry going into this week.  They should be 2-0 but they’re 0-2 instead.  If they’re going to get in the playoffs, it starts here.

Hopefully this week is better than last, I’m gonna try to improve a game at a time.  Let me know what you think about my picks and share some of your own.

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If Days Were Grey’s

While having a good-natured argument with Famed Days fan Terry, who seems to think Days should rip off One Tree Hill for the younger crowd, I threw out the idea that Days rip off Grey’s Anatomy instead. I actually lay in bed for awhile thinking about it and thought I’d share how it would play out in my mind.

The characters: Chelsea in the role of Meredith Grey, Morgan as Christina, Stephanie as Izzie, Nick as McDreamy, Max as Alex, Dr. Dan as the Chief, and a special appearance by Kayla as Dr. Bailey.

We open with Morgan staring intently at the surgery board, looking to cop the best assignment for the day. Chelsea runs up and starts lamenting on her terrible, tortured life.

Chelsea: “I just don’t know what to do, Morgan. I love Nick, he is perfect for me in every way.”

Morgan: “Why is Stephanie scheduled to work with Dr. Hahn? Everybody knows that I am the heart specialist around here. Stephanie’s no heart surgeon, she’s barely a doctor!”

Chelsea: “Morgan, you’re not listening, I don’t know what to do about Nick!”

Morgan: “Why is this important? You should be focusing on your career!”

Chelsea: “Easy for you to say, you’re dating Philip from the hospital board!”

Morgan: “Well he’s great and all, but he’s not exactly open heart surgery.”

Chelsea: “Would you focus for just a minute, I really need to tell you something.

Morgan: Long put upon sigh. “All right, what is it?”

Chelsea: “You see, I had this moment with the Chief yesterday…”

Morgan: “You mean the guy who is twice your age and had sex with your grandmother?”

Chelsea: “That’s ancient history! It’s not the point!”

Morgan: “What is the point? Finding the most inappropriate man you can when you’ve already got a great one?”

Chelsea: “You’re supposed to be my friend and you’re not helping! Listen…we had a moment yesterday.”

Morgan: “What kind of moment? Making out in the medical supply room?”

Chelsea: “No, nothing like that, you know I’m still with Nick. We just…it was during surgery yesterday. We were removing this guy’s spleen and our hands brushed!”

Morgan: “Your hands brushed? In a guy’s body? And this is romantic?”

Chelsea: “It was! He looked at me, I looked at him and we totally had a moment!”

Morgan: “Oh my god. You can’t be serious. Bonding over blood?”

Chelsea: “What, it sounds like something you would do.”

Morgan: “True, but not with a guy who got it on with my granny!”

Chelsea: “Ugh, can you just let that go? Anyway, as we were removing the spleen the patient started to bleed out, blood squirted all over us and it just felt like we were bonded in that moment. He even had to wipe his gloves on me to finish sewing up the bleed. It was really romantic.”

Morgan: “There are no words for this…I have to go find a surgery. You’re insane.”

Elsewhere in the hospital:

Max swaggers up to some nurse and starts to put the moves on.

Nurse: “Don’t you remember me?”

Max: “Should I?”

Nurse: “We hooked up two weeks ago.”

Max: “Oops, my bad.”

Nurse runs away crying and Stephanie comes up.

Stephanie: “Have you seen Chelsea and Morgan?”

Max: “Yeah, they’re having some deep conversation over by the surgery board. Real serious! Why can’t anybody just have fun around here?”

Stephanie: “You’re having enough fun for all of us.”

Max: “That’s only because you won’t take me back, baby, you know it’s you that I want all the time. You’re the most beautiful woman in this place.”

Stephanie starts wailing. “All everyone sees when they look at me is how beautiful I am! I have a terrible life! It’s really hard getting taken seriously when you’re as beautiful as I am!”

Max: “Oh yeah, that’s a real issue. I can’t remember who in the building I haven’t slept with and you’re worried about being too pretty!”

Stephanie: “You’re such a player!”

Max: “Only because I can’t have you. Want to go make out?”

Stephanie: “Sure!”

Elsewhere in the hospital…

Nick: “Have you seen Chelsea, Kayla, I really need to talk to her.”

Kayla: “Of course I’ve seen her, she’s my intern isn’t she? She’s at the surgery board with Morgan whining about something or other.”

Nick: “I better go check on her, it’s been an hour since I’ve coddled her and reassured her of my love.”

Kayla shakes head. Dr. Dan enters the room.

Kayla: “Chief, we really need to talk about intern assignments.”

Dan: “What about them?”

Kayla: “It seems that Chelsea keeps getting assigned to all your surgeries.”

Dan: “So? Nothing inappropriate is going on!”

Kayla: “Uh, I didn’t say there was sir, I’m just saying that the interns need to be more spread around.”

Dan: “Look, I’ve been banging her grandmother!”

Kayla: “Thanks for sharing, what does that have to do with anything?”

Dan: “I can’t stay away from her!”

Kayla: “The grandmother?”

Dan: “NO, the granddaughter!”

Kayla: “So let me get this straight, you’re having sex with Chelsea’s grandma but you want Chelsea, even though you’re old enough to be her father?”

Dan: “YES!”

Kayla walks away shaking her head. She walks up and hears the tail end of Chelsea’s blood lust description to Morgan.

Kayla: “So, you fell for Dan because your hands brushed while touching a spleen and he then wiped blood on you?”

Chelsea sighs. “Yes, isn’t it romantic?”

Kayla: “Are you stupid? Aren’t you dating Nick the neurosurgeon?”

Chelsea: “Yes, but it’s complicated, he’s too nice for me!”

Kayla: “You’re right, he is.”

Nick strolls up and Kayla turns to him. “Your girlfriend fell in love with the Chief.”

Nick: “What? How could this happen?”

Kayla: “Apparently while holding a bloody spleen.”

Nick: “That wouldn’t make sense normally, but since we’re talking about Chelsea….”

Chelsea: “Hey, I’m right here! Nick, I’m so sorry. You’re really the most wonderful guy but…”

Nick: “But you can’t do wonderful, I get it. You need to have the most messed up relationship you can find. I’m done, Chelsea, just done.”

Chelsea: “No, you can’t be done with me! You have to stand by while I hook up with Daniel! Then when it crashes and burns I can run back to you.”

Nick: “Not anymore Chelsea, I wash my hands of you. Kayla, how about we get the hell out of this whorehouse masquerading as a hospital and go find some real coworkers?”

Kayla: “I’m way ahead of you.”

They link arms and head out the door while Chelsea wails. Morgan looks up and says: “Any idea when the next surgery starts? Where is Hahn????”

The End.

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