Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 32
BPOV
Two days is a long time when you’re waiting for news of your death to reach your family members. To say I was a wreck would be a bit of an understatement. Edward had erased any signs of our making it to land, we’d hunted and I’d fidgeted. A lot. Edward tried talking to me but I was so anxious to see Charlie that I wasn’t very good company. Luckily, he understood and just held me and let me ramble or sit in silence depending on what I needed.
Edward had another disposable cell phone, apparently Emmett and I had not destroyed the whole supply during my training, which he was using to communicate with Alice. They’d reported us missing a day after the explosion, giving the authorities a push to put two and two together and discover that our boat was the one that had gone down in the Atlantic. That had yet to be confirmed though. Edward and I watched from high atop a tree as a Coast Guard boat dropped anchor near the spot Emmett had called in and divers went below. The divers returned with various scraps from the ship but didn’t have positive identification yet.
I saw some activity pick up aboard the boat and asked Edward what they were excited about. “I think they found something that gave them our identity.”
“What did they find?”
Edward had a better view than I did. “The plank with the boat’s name on it.”
“So they’ll know now?”
He took my hand and ran his thumb along the back of it. “Yes, love.”
I closed my eyes. “So my parents will know soon.”
He shifted next to me. “Yes, well I imagine they’ll call Carlisle and Esme first, since they reported us missing. Then I think one of them, maybe Alice, will call Charlie.”
That was good. Better to hear it from Carlisle or Alice than some stranger. I watched silently as divers entered and exited the water. A sudden buzz in Edward’s pocket caught my attention. He took it out to show me the screen.
We just got the call that your boat went down. They emphasized that no bodies had yet been found but that they weren’t hopeful due to the size of the explosion and the current that day.
“What if Charlie never gives up, since they can’t locate our bodies?” This had been eating at me for a couple of days but I had yet to verbalize the fear to Edward.
“I made sure to leave something that would leave no doubt that you hadn’t survived.”
“What did you have Carlisle steal some bones or something?” That was pretty gross to think about.
He chuckled softly. “No, bones can be tested.”
“What then?”
He pinned me with his golden gaze and took my left hand in his and ran his fingers over my wedding ring. “I had a replica of your ring made and left it on the boat. It should be at the bottom of the sea. Charlie will recognize it, no doubt.”
I ripped my hand from his and clutched my ring close to my heart. I hated the thought of it down at the bottom of the sea, even if it was just a copy. The searing pain subsided as I fought to distract myself from the mental image of losing myself and the sign of our mutual love beneath the waves. I grasped to the first thought that entered my mind: “Oh, Edward that must have cost you a fortune.”
He just rolled his eyes. “Not an issue, I assure you.” Well sure it wasn’t, we’d just blown up an $85,000 boat but it seemed a costly endeavor. Of course, if we’d taken a plane like he wanted I couldn’t imagine what kind of expense that would be. Such a waste of money, I wasn’t used to being able to throw it away like this.
“I’m glad you didn’t need to take this ring.” Something I once dreaded meant the world to me now, that symbol of forever between myself and Edward. Plus it was the one piece of his human life that he could give to me; I would never want to part with it.
His eyes widened. “I’d never ask you to give up your ring, Bella. I never want it to leave your finger.”
I pressed my lips to his. “It won’t, I promise.”
He kissed me back softly and then looked deeply into my eyes. “How are you?”
I shrugged and looked down. “Anxious.” He tilted my face back up to see he could look at me, so I kept talking. “Worried about my parent’s reactions, excited and scared to see Charlie one last time, guilty about what this will do to them, sick to my stomach, worried about you.” Edward looked confused at that last one.
“Why would you possibly be worried about me?”
I brushed a hand through his hair. “I know that you’re worried about how I’m handling things.” He nodded. “And I guess I feel like all my crazy emotions are going to hurt you. I don’t want you to feel bad about what I asked you to do, Edward. This was right for us and I know it. I don’t regret it but it’s hard to deal with this part of things. Does that make sense?”
I could see the guilt shining in his golden eyes. “You know me too well.”
I smiled. “That’s my job.”
His sad eyes met mine. “I just hate taking your family away from you, Bella. I swore I’d give you the world, not take it away from you.”
I shook my head. “I can’t have everything, but having you is as close to it as I can get.”
“I want you to have it all.”
“I knew what I was giving up when I asked you to change me; you have nothing to feel bad about.”
He smiled sadly. “Maybe but I hurt when you hurt, Bella. It’s part of the package.”
I snuggled into his side. “And you make me feel better when I hurt, even if you can’t see that, you are helping.”
He kissed my forehead. “I hope so.”
“You are.” I gave him a hard kiss to emphasize my point and his arms tightened around me. Before things could get more heated his phone buzzed again.
I called Charlie. He’s making flight arrangements right now. We told him we were all driving up immediately. Jazz will leave a car for you at the spot you settled on.
Edward texted a thank you back to Alice. “She’ll let me know what time he’ll be in.”
“How is Jasper going to leave us a car, aren’t we on an island?”
“No, this is just land that juts out into the ocean; it’s connected to the mainland, that’s why Em dropped us here instead of the small island.” That made sense. Edward’s cell signaled another incoming text.
He lands at noon tomorrow. He’ll probably be on site around two then. We have a problem though, I can’t see anything anymore.
Edward sighed as I panicked. “What? Why can’t she see anything? Does something happen to Charlie? Edward, we have to stop him from coming!”
He gripped my shoulders tightly, his touch calming me somewhat but I was still ready to tear out of the trees and announce my presence to the men on the boat. “Bella, calm down. If his plane was going to crash, she’d see that. It’s another problem entirely.” Nothing was a problem as long as Charlie was going to be safe. Why couldn’t Alice see….oh no.
“Wolves?”
“I should have figured they wouldn’t let him come alone.”
“But they know that I’m actually alive. They’re not going to fight us because we broke the treaty, are they? We’re not on their land anymore!” Thank God Jasper and Emmett and the others were coming, we might need them for a battle. Unbelievable, I couldn’t even die without a major war breaking out.
“Bella, I doubt they’re all coming and I doubt the ones that do are coming to fight. Think about it, Billy would never let Charlie go through something like this alone. He’s his best friend. It wouldn’t look normal if Billy just ignored it and let him handle it by himself.” This was true.
“Billy would have a hard time traveling.”
“Yes, so my guess is he’ll send Jake with Charlie. It would make sense, what with your past relationship with him.” Edward’s voice hardened as he spoke of my history with Jake. I stroked his cheek, wishing I could take back the hurt that moment in the woods that I knew still snuck up on him from time to time.
Was I going to get to see Jake again too? The two men I thought I’d never see again would both be here tomorrow. It was surreal. It was sad and yet it kind of made me happy. I’d gotten used to the idea that I would see Charlie but Jake? It was like a dream and a nightmare all wrapped up together. The last time I’d seen him, he’d been so hurt. Had time healed anything between us? I somehow doubted that, seeing as I’d done the one thing he’d hated above anything else. I’d given my life for an eternity with Edward. He said it was the one thing he couldn’t ever forgive.
“How I wish I could read your mind.” He watched me carefully, his golden gaze trying to penetrate whatever kept him from getting at my thoughts. No, he really didn’t want to know what I’d been thinking about.
“I’m just thinking it’s very strange that I’m going to get see both of them again. I didn’t think I’d ever get to and now to see them both at the same time?”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I feel scared, nervous, guilty and strangely happy.” He nodded and turned away to look at the water. I took his face between my hands and pulled his gaze back to me. “I just want to see that he’s okay. I hurt him pretty badly.”
“I know.” I couldn’t read him, his face was carefully guarded.
“What is it?”
“You know he’ll be able to smell us, right? He’s probably not just going to stand there next to Charlie. You know Jacob; he’s going to come after us.” Would Jake and Edward finally fight? They’d been so close a time or two and Jake was going to be so angry when he saw me. Oh no, Jake was going to see me and now I was the thing he loathed, a monster in his eyes. How would it be to have my best friend look upon me as an evil being? I shuddered.
“Should we leave?”
His eyes were steady on me and he didn’t answer for several minutes. “No.”
“But what if Jake finds us and you get in a fight?”
“He won’t fight me with Charlie so close by. He risks not only exposing us all but hurting him as well. Jacob is rash but he’s not stupid.”
“Still, it would be better for us just to go home and not risk it. I don’t want to cause either one of you any more pain.”
He looked at me in surprise then. “How would you cause me any pain?”
“Did it not just hurt you now when I said that I was happy to get to see Jake again?” He shrugged. “Edward?”
“Maybe a little. Not that I’m worried about you seeing him or anything, it just made me remember.”
“That day in the mountains.” I finished for him and he nodded. “Edward, I know that hurt you. And you know that I will never do something like that to you again. I’d rather die than cause you pain.”
He chuckled. “A little too late for that one.” I giggled and then laughed at the verbal slip I’d just made.
“Morbid humor.”
“My specialty,” he flashed me his lopsided grin and his eyes warmed. I felt much better seeing him smile again.
“Still, maybe we should go. We can meet Jasper at the car and just go home while they all stay here for the search.”
He put a hand on my knee and shook his head again. “No, Bella. You want to see Charlie again. This is the last time you can do that. We don’t know for sure that it is Jake coming but if it is, you’ll want to see him too. And though I doubt the conversation will be pleasant, talking to him might give you some peace with regards to them giving Charlie the support he’ll need. You would like that, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes.” I couldn’t deny it. The letters I had written to Jake and Billy had made me feel better but if I could actually hear from one of them that they’d look after my father it would mean even more.
“Then we stay. If he tries anything, I’ll handle it.” I sighed, that was not overly reassuring but it was best to be prepared. Jake had a volatile temper; I knew that all too well. “It may not even be him, could be one of the others.” Edward sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that. I was sure it would be Jacob though.
“Come on, let’s find something to eat.” Take both our minds off things for awhile.
We killed a little time hunting and then just watched the divers, who clearly hadn’t found my replica ring yet. I hope that didn’t disappear in the current. Edward said it wouldn’t though, he rattled off some mathematical formula that I didn’t remotely understand but he assured me that it would go where he said it would. I trusted him.
Shortly after another fantastic sunrise Edward’s phone chirped again. “Why doesn’t Alice just call? These are untraceable phones right?”
Edward rolled his eyes. “It’s more covert this way according to Alice. Don’t ask me.”
We’re here. Carlisle, Esme, Em and Rose are meeting with Search & Rescue. Jazz and I are with the car. See you soon?
Edward texted her in the affirmative and we set off to the inland location where Jasper had stashed our vehicle. I felt my heart lighten a little when I saw my brother leaning against a nondescript black sedan and Alice pacing back and forth with her usual nervous energy.
I burst through the trees and Alice ran to me, wrapping me in her arms and holding me tightly. “Bella, are you okay?” Her spiky hair tickled my cheek as I nodded.
“I’m surviving.” It was the best way to describe it. I looked over her head and saw Jasper regarding me, no doubt reading my emotions.
Alice pulled back and looked at me. “I’ve been so worried. I hate not being able to see! I think you’ll be fine, though, I can feel it even if I can’t see it.”
I slipped an arm around her and tried for a smile. “I will be.” Jasper pushed off the car and walked to me while Alice turned to Edward and started talking a mile a minute, filling him on all the phone calls and preparations that had been made.
Jasper took my hand in his and I felt calm sweep over me. “Giving me some help, are you?”
He chuckled. “I figured it couldn’t hurt. Your emotions are understandably all over the place.”
“I feel a little bit of everything. Guilt, sadness, fear and even happiness at seeing them again…it’s overwhelming.”
He nodded in understanding. “This is, by far, the hardest thing you’ll have to get through. Being in the same room as humans is nothing when confronted with leaving everyone you love behind.”
“Thankfully I didn’t have to leave everyone. I have Edward. I have all of you. I feel bad, kind of like I’ve replaced one family with another.”
He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow at me. “Don’t most people do that in their lifetime though? They grow up, get married and start their own families. Yes, they still usually see their first family but the one they made is their priority.”
I bit my lip and nodded. “That’s a very good point, Jasper; I’m going to try to think of it like that.”
“Charlie’s pain is going to affect you deeply. Do you want me to be nearby to help with that?”
I shook my head emphatically. “No. I don’t know if this makes sense but I think I need to feel it. It’s the last time I’ll see him and the last piece of him I can take with me. I don’t want to lessen it. It might make it easier for me to endure but I’d rather feel everything I need to feel.”
He folded me in a hug then and I felt his comfort sweep through me, inhaling deeply to take in his desert scent. “You are so incredibly strong, Bella. Never doubt that. Use it and you’ll be fine.”
“I will,” I whispered as he pulled back.
“Alice, we should go meet up with the others.”
“Oh, you’re right! They’re going to take us out on the boat to the sight of the accident. Where will you be?”
Edward answered. “Three miles to the south, high in the trees. We’ll see you and you’ll be able to see us. We’ll wait until Charlie comes on scene, see who he has with him and deal with whatever that brings and then we’ll go home and meet you there.”
“Okay, keep the phone. I’ll text you when we leave and let you know what our plans are.” Alice gave me another quick hug and she and Jasper took off at a run. He looked over his shoulder and nodded at me once before they disappeared out of sight.
Edward took my hand and we walked slowly back to the tree from where we’d been watching all the action. We both climbed up and regained our perch on a very strong branch. The tension seeped back into my bones as the sun rose higher in the sky. I could tell it was after noon now, Charlie’s plane had landed and he was en route. I’d see him soon. Finally. The past three days had been interminably long.
I watched with interest as a Coast Guard cutter pulled up and saw the rest of our family on board, wearing solemn expressions on their faces. They were amazing, not one of them showed anything other than sorrow and worry. Was I that impassive? When I saw Charlie would my expression remain stony and unmoved while my insides were in turmoil? I guess it’s a good protective barrier. Edward was watching me closely though and I knew he’d know.
Jasper glanced in our direction and gave a slight nod, nothing the humans would pick up upon. “Edward, what time is it?”
He glanced at his phone. “It’s one. Charlie should be here in about an hour or so.” His words trailed off as he listened to something on the ship. I couldn’t make out any words; the engines were too loud even with my enhanced hearing. “Alice says that they’ll find the ring about three hours after Charlie gets there.”
“She can see that? So Jake isn’t there then?” I felt both relieved and disappointed at this news.
“He’s not on board with them, no. I imagine he’ll come to find us on foot.”
“Oh.” Now it was relief and fear. I hated having the capacity for so many emotions.
The next hour dragged and then finally I heard an engine approaching from the mainland. I leaned so far out of the tree that Edward put his hands on my waist to steady me. I glanced at him and he smirked. “Habit.” I smiled and turned my attention back to the boat. My father was there. I could feel it even though I couldn’t see him yet.
The boat finally turned slightly and there he was. I gasped and my heart soared at the sight of Charlie, shoulders hunched, body stooped, his eyes trained on the water as if he’d be able to see me surface at any moment. Even his mustache appeared fallen and droopy. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. His eyes, my old eyes, looked haunted. The spark of life that usually flashed in those brown orbs was missing. I’d done that, I’d taken that from him. I sobbed and Edward tightened his grip on my waist.
“Bella.” Edward whispered, his hands climbing up to cup my face, trying to comfort me with his touch. I closed my eyes for a moment and let the buzz of energy run through me, give me more strength. I nodded and opened my eyes. I would not look away again. I had to see the pain I’d wrought and be there for my father the only way I was able to now.
I watched in silence as Charlie shuffled from his boat onto the one the rest of my family was already on. I felt like leaping out of the tree and swimming to him as I watched Alice take Charlie in a gentle hug. Part of me was happy she could be there for him and another part wanted to rip her away and scream that he was my father. God I was selfish. How could I feel that way about someone giving my father comfort when he truly needed it?
Of course, I already knew I was selfish. I’d chosen my happiness over both my parents. I knew what losing me would do them yet I went ahead and did what I wanted to do. I didn’t deserve any of them; not Charlie, not Renee and not Edward. Esme folded Charlie into one of her warm embraces, the kind that made you feel like you were at home at last. I prayed that he felt the way that I did when she hugged me. Carlisle clapped a supporting hand on Charlie’s shoulder and left it there.
“What are you hearing?” I had to know what my father was thinking.
Edward sighed. “Not a lot. He’s hoping we washed up somewhere, or that it’s not really our boat. He…” Edward broke off and I tore my gaze away from my father to see what Edward was keeping from me. “He’s wishing you’d never met me because you’d be alive and well right now, probably at UW.”
“Oh, Edward. Please know, no matter how much I hate what’s happening today, I don’t wish that. I don’t want that. I want you. I’m a selfish, awful person but I still want you.” I clutched at his hands, willing him to see the truth in my words. I couldn’t deal with both his and Charlie’s emotions. Why was this so hard?
“Bella, you are not selfish or awful. You’re the kindest, most loving and generous person that I know.”
“Kind? Generous?” I bit off the words, anger vibrating through me. I wasn’t mad at him, of course, I was angry at myself. “Look at what I’ve done, Edward.” I gestured towards the broken man standing on the boat. “How is that kind or generous or loving?”
He regarded me sadly, his eyes swimming with emotion. “What choice did you have?” I started to answer but then stopped. What choice did I have? I could have lived a human life with Edward at my side for as long as he could be before it looked like a boy and his mother, or worse, grandmother. I couldn’t fathom that. I could have let him go. My heart clutched at that and I knew that was never a choice for me. I would not have survived losing him again. I could have told Charlie about vampires and wolves and been committed, or worse, put his life at risk from the Volturi. Or I could have done this, the choice I’d made and sworn I could live with.
I pressed my forehead to Edward’s. “There was no choice. This was the right one. It just hurts, Edward.”
He pulled me next to him and draped his arms around me. “I know, Bella. This is why I wanted to take you away. I didn’t want you to see this, to feel this. But you have to know, you’re not selfish. I think, no I know, Charlie would want you to live the life you wanted. Yes, he thinks that life is over but it’s not. Your happiness is all he ever wanted.” Live. Yes, Charlie would want me to be happy. And I knew I would be again. The thought filled me with shame, knowing that I would move on and still have forever with the man I loved. If only Charlie had someone.
“Edward, is there a way for us to watch out for Charlie? I know we can’t go back to Forks but if Alice can’t see him because of the wolves…how will I know if he’s okay?”
Edward pressed a kiss to my hair. “I’ve already spoken to Jasper about that, love. He has a man in Seattle that handles things for us.”
I narrowed my eyes at him before cutting them back to Charlie. I had to spend every moment I could watching him. “What things?”
Edward chuckled. “Illegal things, mostly. Forgeries, documents, passports, identification, birth certificates. He keeps us current, if you know what I mean?” I frowned. What could a man like that do for my father? “He has connections. He’ll hire a private investigator to keep an eye on Charlie for us. We’ll get weekly reports.”
“Edward, my father is a cop. He’s going to notice if some guy is shadowing him all the time.”
“Trust me, Bella. Whomever he hires will become a fixture in Forks. He’ll have a job where he can see Charlie a lot, or move in on your street or something. Jasper’s guy will make sure it goes off without a hitch; he values our business too much not to. Plus, he’s scared of Jasper.” I actually felt a smile stretch my face at that; Jasper could be quite intimidating if he wanted to be.
“That’s good then.” I hated the thought of getting weekly reports on my father but it was better than waiting for Alice to get a vision.
I watched in shock as Rosalie of all people walked up to my father and pressed a cup of coffee into his hands. Charlie shivered in his giant blue parka. I frowned. It must be so cold for him and for the other humans involved in the search. We should have done it earlier; then it would already be over. I strained to hear what they were saying but still couldn’t make it out. “Edward, what is Rose saying?” She’d better not be badmouthing me to my father or making snide comments about my death. I would kill her without hesitation if she made this any worse on him than it already was.
“She’s telling him how happy you were these past few months and how you completed our family.” I blinked at him in shock and had he not been holding me I would have fallen out of the tree. Rose said that? About me? “Don’t look so surprised, Bella. Despite your differences, Rose doesn’t want to see Charlie hurting. Though she can be hateful at times, she’s not a hateful person. She knows when to show compassion.” Would she ever show it to me? Then again, did I deserve it right now?
Edward smiled. “Charlie just thought that, even though he blames me for this, he’s glad that if the worst is true, at least we were together. He knows what we mean to one another and that neither of us could have gone on without the other one.” I kissed his angular jaw, warmed a bit at my father’s thoughts.
“You’re not to blame, you know. This is my doing.”
“Not true. If I wasn’t a vampire, we wouldn’t have gone through any of this. We’d just be a boy and girl, teenagers in love. The worst we’d go through would be arguments over me spending too much time playing video games and you being a nag.” I giggled at the image of me nagging Edward over his time in front of the TV.
“Somehow I don’t picture that.”
“That’s true; you could never be a nag.” I snorted at that one and Edward stiffened beside me.
“What is it?”
“He’s coming.”
“Who’s coming?” I glanced at the boat and Charlie was still aboard, talking anxiously to one of the crew members.
“Jacob. I can hear him.” Edward climbed down the tree and I scrambled after him.
“What’s he thinking?”
“Nothing you want to hear.” I sighed. Of course he wasn’t looking forward to seeing me. Suddenly I caught a scent on the wind and my nose wrinkled in disgust.
“Is that him?”
Edward chuckled at my expression. “Yes. Foul isn’t it?” It was an acrid odor like nothing I’d ever smelled before. If I had to equate it to anything, I’d compare it to the smell of rotting garbage from when I was human. I looked at Edward in horror.
“I smelled like that to you? When I was spending time with Jacob?” He shrugged and nodded. God, how much he must have loved me to overlook that stench on my skin.
“I’m sorry.” I truly was. As usual I’d been thinking of myself and how Jacob had made me feel and ignored the effect he had on Edward. It was beyond even the jealousy; that smell was horrible. It got more pronounced as Jake got closer and I could hear his paws crashing down on deadened leaves and branches.
“You were worth it.” He truly was blind to what a terrible person I was. Or he forgave me for it. I didn’t deserve him.
I listened to a whooshing sound behind a large elm tree and glanced at Edward. “He phased back into human form so you could hear him too.” I shifted nervously as Jake emerged from the trees, clad only in his habitual pair of jeans despite the frigid weather. My eyes roamed his form, looking for any changes in the months since I’d seen him last. His hair had grown some, now hanging to his shoulders. The rest of him remained unchanged; he had finally stopped growing it seemed. Or maybe it was just because we were gone from Forks.
I glanced at his eyes and blanched from the hate I saw shining in the blackness. I pressed up against Edward and he put a bracing arm around me. Jake hates me. I bit back a cry of pain and waited for him to speak. His eyes took me in, raking over me from head to toe. “You look good, Bells. Death really suits you.” I flinched at the sarcasm in his tone.
“Watch it, dog.” Edward growled next to me, his body tensing at Jake’s words and probably at his thoughts.
“Why, bloodsucker? Is she going to kill me? Why not go for it Bells? You’ve already killed yourself; you’re in the process of killing your father. Why not complete the trifecta?” I gasped and my body started shaking. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tear him apart. I wanted to bury my head in Edward’s neck and shut out the entire world for the rest of time.
“That’s enough, Jacob. Say what you came to say and then get lost. I won’t hesitate to kill if you if you say another insulting word to my wife.” Edward’s velvet voice was vicious and I believed he would follow through on the threat.
“Edward, no. Let him say what he has to. I deserve it.”
Jake’s eyes shifted back to me. “Deserve? The only thing you deserve is to actually be dead at the bottom of that ocean. Do you know what you’ve done to him?”
“Yes,” my voice was barely above a whisper.
“You think because you’ve been sitting in that tree watching him that you know what he’s going through? He’s hardly spoken since he got the call. He called my father, barely choking out the words that you were presumed lost at sea. Billy told him that he couldn’t go alone and so I had to come, even knowing that you were not lying in the bottom of the ocean. Do you think I want to be here? To look at you and see you like this?” He shuddered in disgust. “Look at what you’ve become. You sicken me.”
Edward sucked in a breath and started forward. I tightened my muscles and held him in place, thankful for the fact that I was stronger than him. He fought me for a minute but then stopped. I truly couldn’t handle him and Jake fighting right now and Edward knew that.
Jake laughed harshly. “Look at how whipped you are. Aren’t you man enough to defend your,“ he broke off, his eyes sweeping over me again, “woman’s honor?” I kept my grip tight around Edward’s waist but he didn’t fight me this time.
Edward’s eyes had gone black with rage. “Never doubt what I am man enough to do for Bella. I’d do anything for her, which is why you’re still alive. She still doesn’t want me to kill you, even when you insult her and treat her like trash. She was your best friend. She loves you. How could you attack her like that?”
Something flickered in Jacob’s eyes for a moment but it was gone before I could identify the emotion. “She was my best friend but then she died. She’s gone now.”
I hung my head and whispered, “I’m right here, Jake. I’m still Bella.”
He shook his head. “You’re not my Bells anymore. You made your choice. You’re not my best friend. You’re my mortal enemy.” His words cut me to my very core. I knew it would be like this but to hear it and feel it was like being stabbed repeatedly in the heart. “The girl I loved could not have done this to her family and her friends. She always put other’s feelings before her own, even when it was stupid of her to do so.” His eyes cut to Edward. “Especially when it was stupid of her to do so.”
“Jake, I…”
He shook his head, his hair trailing across his shoulders. “No, Bella, there’s really nothing more left to say. You did what you did and I will never forgive that. I told you that before you married him. You gave up everything for him. You made your choice.” Yes, I had and even with his hurtful words I didn’t regret it.
“I know I don’t have a right to ask you for anything but…”
Jake held up a hand, his muscles bunching in anger. “No, you don’t. So don’t say it. I came here for two reasons and one is to address what I think you’re about to ask me. We got your letters, my father and I. I’m not going to respond to most of it, you already know how I feel. It’s an insult, though, that you felt the need to ask us to look after Charlie. He’s part of our family. Unlike some people, we look out for our family. We will take care of him. We’ll get him through all the pain your selfish actions have caused him. We’re doing that for him, not for you. I won’t ever do anything for you again.” I shivered at the cold tone in his voice.
“Thank you.”
His glare penetrated me to the bone. “No thanks necessary. As I said, we’re doing this for Charlie. Not for you. If I didn’t love him, I would probably step away just to spite you.” My jaw dropped at that idea of him turning away from Charlie just to get back at me. “Don’t worry, Bella, I’m a bigger person than that.” I sighed at his emphasis on the word person. I was surprised he hadn’t called me a monster yet.
He turned to Edward. “The other reason I’m here is to issue a warning.”
Edward nodded. “Let’s hear it.”
“You violated the treaty.” His eyes flew to the mark on my neck, the place where Edward had bitten me. “If you step foot in Forks again, we will kill you. There is no longer a treaty.”
“I have no intention of ever returning to Forks. However, my family will have to go back for our funerals.” Jake sneered at that. “It wouldn’t look right to Charlie, or to the rest of the town, if they weren’t there.”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Fine, they can come. But they leave right after. We will attend to Charlie. And you two better not be there, or did you have a sick need to watch your parents cry at your grave?” I shook my head and finally gave in, burying myself in Edward’s arms. “Isn’t that sweet? Undead love.”
“Enough, dog. You’ve said your piece, now go.” I pulled my face away from Edward’s chest and turned to look at Jacob one last time. The anger died out of his face for a moment and for just a few seconds he looked like my former best friend. His face was sad and vulnerable and I took an instinctive step towards him. The mask slipped back on his face and the moment of weakness was quickly gone, it was almost as if I’d imagined it.
“Yes, I have to be there when Charlie gets back. I’m sure he’s going to need me after what you’ve done to him.” My shoulders slumped, I couldn’t deny his words.
“Goodbye, Jacob. I’m sorry I hurt you. I will always remember you.” Emotion flickered again.
“I’ll always remember my former friend, Bella Swan, as a cautionary tale of what falling for the wrong person can bring. My best friend is dead.”
He turned and jogged away. I watched until he ducked out of sight and then burrowed back into Edward’s arms. He held me for a long time, giving me the time I needed to deal with the fallout from seeing Jake. I’d known it was going to be bad but to see the hatred in his eyes…I just hadn’t been prepared for that. I had been so naïve. I should have been ready for it but a part of me truly believed he would always be my best friend. Still, he had given me the one thing I needed above anything else. They would be there for Charlie. It was more than I could have hoped for.
I pulled away from Edward and he cupped my face in his hands. “Are you alright?”
“No.” I gave him the truth. “But I will be.” I had him and that would get me through anything. I turned and went back up the tree. My time with Charlie was fast coming to a close and I didn’t want to miss another minute of seeing him while I could. I got back to my spot and immediately found him, standing next to Carlisle and looking lost.
I memorized every line on his face, every hair on his head. It was all precious to me and I wanted to keep him in my memory forever. I had happier moments than this to focus on but this was the last time I’d ever lay eyes on him. This was goodbye even if he couldn’t say it back.
A sudden commotion started on the boat as a diver emerged clutching something shiny in his hands. Edward gripped my hand tightly and I knew they’d found the ring. I bit my lip as I watched Charlie reach out and take the item from the diver’s hands, his face contorting in pain as he saw what he held. His knees gave out and Carlisle caught him before he fell to the bottom of the ship. He and Esme led him over to the bench as tears started running down Charlie’s cheeks.
Was it possible for a dead heart to break? Because mine just had. In all my nineteen years, I’d never truly seen Charlie cry. His eyes had misted up at my wedding but this was different. He was broken, sobbing openly against Esme’s shoulder. For the first time I was glad that I couldn’t hear over the stupid engines. I watched helplessly as Alice wrapped her arms around Charlie’s waist and hugged him from behind, my family surrounding him and trying to give him comfort. Rose gripped his gloved hand in hers and turned her face towards me, shooting an accusatory glare in my direction. I didn’t need to see it; I knew what I’d wrought.
The captain approached our family and said a few words, shaking his head in response to an unheard question. I lifted my dry eyes to Edward and silently asked what they’d said. “They just told them that they were calling off the search. Your ring was the confirmation they needed. The current was strong and they assume we both washed away.” I nodded numbly. It was just as we’d planned. Everything had gone perfectly, even the part where I’d crushed my father. “They’re going to leave in a minute, Bella.”
I turned my eyes back to Charlie, bent and broken on the deck of the ship. A cold mist began to fall from the gray sky, fitting the mood perfectly. He clutched my ring to his chest and rocked against Esme. Alice was speaking to him, words I wished to hear and dreaded at the same time. The captain took his place at the wheel and started steering back towards shore. I watched until I could see them no longer. I’d never see Charlie again and God help me, I never wanted to see him looking like that again. There could be nothing worse than seeing my father suffer like that, at my own hands no less.
I sat there for a long time, Edward silent at my side, holding my hand and giving me his unconditional support. I don’t know how long I sat there, Charlie’s image burned into my brain, Jake’s accusatory words washing over me. The mist changed to snow and still we sat, the snow coating our hair. I mentally ran through every movement Charlie had made on that boat, every blink, every gesture. I tucked it all in a special place in my heart that would always belong to him. I’d done something unforgiveable to my father but I knew he’d still love me anyway.
Finally I turned to Edward. He gave me a hesitant smile and squeezed my hand. “Let’s go home.”
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