The first thing I did after leaving Angela’s was drive around the corner and park the car. I ducked into someone’s bushes and hurled up that disgusting fucking food that I’d been forced to swallow. Never again. I’d taught myself to eat just in case I ever had occasion to do so but this was the first time I’d put it into practice. Every other situation where food was in front of me I’d been able to fake it. Gagging up undigested food is not pleasant. I was grateful it was fairly soft food though; it didn’t cause a lot of issues coming back up.
I got back in the car and made my way toward 10th Avenue, stopping to park at 8th and walking the rest of the way. I hadn’t been in this part of town in quite awhile and I wasn’t overly thrilled to be here now but I knew I was likely to find what I was looking for here.
When I’d been waiting for Bella to awaken, I’d watched the news constantly searching for any word on her disappearance. I’ve always watched the news frequently looking for potential targets and there had been some recent killings in this area that I wanted to check out. Apparently some hooker was taking her johns on more than just a ride. She left them with empty wallets and slit throats. The cops weren’t exactly knocking themselves out to try to capture the murderous prostitute and I really couldn’t fucking blame them. There were much higher profile crimes in this city and the victims weren’t exactly Joe fucking Citizen. But still, they were men who hadn’t done much more wrong than paying for sex. It was fucking pathetic but shouldn’t be a death sentence. So I was going trolling for a hooker.
Bella would be royally fucking pissed if she knew I was and what I was doing in this part of town. I actually felt kind of dirty about it; I’d left behind two very sweet, good girls and now I was looking for a twisted whore. Of course, I wasn’t going to touch her…well not anymore than necessary to kill her that is. I wouldn’t stick my cock in her disease ridden snatch though, not after having been with the perfection that was Bella.
Yeah, I’ve slept with my fair share of prostitutes in my time, not that I ever fucking paid them a dime for it. Edward Cullen doesn’t pay for sex. Still, they were uncomplicated, unlike some willful brunettes that I could think of. Okay, one in particular. You could bang a chick like that and leave; no muss and no fuss. I finally had complication in my life and it was fucking with me in irritating and exciting ways. Even knowing that she was going to be insanely pissed at me when I got home didn’t damper my desire to hurry up and get back to her. A pissed off Bella was a sexy Bella. At least I’d get some pleasure from her temper. I deserved some fucking pleasure, didn’t I?
Here I was, about to take out a serial killer prostitute and I wasn’t getting anything from it. Sustenance, maybe, but I wasn’t even that fucking hungry. I just figured since I was out, I may as well feed; then I wouldn’t have to leave Bella anytime soon. Plus I was going to try to get Bella to eat tonight and I didn’t need to be remotely tempted by her packaged blood. I wanted to sit back and enjoy that show. Watching her feed, even from a plastic bag, was going to be hot as hell. Primal Bella called to me in an even more powerful way than regular Bella. Fuck, I was hard again and the whores were going to see exactly what I was packing. Oh well, doesn’t hurt to show off the goods a little does it?
I made my way between 10th and 11th Avenue, prime real estate for the ladies of the night. I chuckled to myself at that phrase. There was nothing ladylike about these women. The first one, with bleached blond hair and raccoon-like make-up caught sight of me. I braced myself for the fucking onslaught. Damn, look at him. I’d do him for free. Come to momma, big boy. I shuddered. Had I really once enjoyed this kind of attention? What the fuck was wrong with me back then?
She didn’t keep her thoughts to herself either. “Hey, mister, what’s your name?”
I stopped and let her sidle up to me. She tried to look seductive but only succeeded in looking rather pathetic. She’d been at this life a long time, I could tell. “Carlisle.” I bit back a laugh at the thought of my father fucking this woman.
“Nice to meet you, Carlisle. I’m Sheila. You looking for some fun tonight?” Yes, I am but not with you. She was imagining blowing me in a back alley and then me fucking her against the wall. Not a bad visual, if I inserted Bella in her place. But there were no murderous thoughts in her head. She wasn’t who I was looking for.
“I’m thinking about it. I’ll let you know.” I moved on before she could start pushing me, which she was sure to do in about five seconds. I hadn’t gotten more than ten feet away when the next one approached. She had dark skin and nearly black eyes. She was actually pretty hot, wearing a short black dress and leather jacket. I imagined Bella in that outfit and my cock, which had gone limp at the sight of Sheila, perked back up immediately. The effect that girl had on me…she was definitely a fucking witch.
“Hi, sugar.” Ha, yeah that’s me, sugar and sweetness. Except when I’m not…which is most of the fucking time. “What are you looking for?”
“I’m looking for trouble.” What? I was. I was surely going to find it when I got home to Bella.
She let out a booming laugh for such a tiny woman. She was about 5’2 in her heels, though delicate was not the word I would use to describe her. There was a hardness about her….this chick took no shit from anyone I could tell. I could respect that. “You can definitely find that here.”
I laughed with her. “I suspected as much.”
“What kind of trouble are you in the mood for?” She wasn’t the type to offer me a freebie, even if she found me attractive, which of course she did. I wondered if I could be straight with her.
“I’m looking for the kind that you don’t walk away from.” Her eyes flickered then. He can’t be a fucking cop. Cops don’t look like that, do they? If they do, I should have gotten arrested more often. I got a few brief flashes of her in handcuffs and she was right, the policemen that busted her didn’t look remotely like me. Not that anybody fucking does, I am one of a kind.
She braced herself and looked me right in the eyes. “Are you a cop?”
I chuckled. “Do I look like a fucking cop?”
“No, but that would sure make you more effective wouldn’t it?” I liked this woman, she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind.
“What’s your name?”
“Leanne. Yours?”
“Carlisle.” I wanted to give her my real name. I did that with people I could respect but I had a cover to maintain.
Carlisle? What the fuck kind of name is that. Probably his last name. “That’s a pretty white bread name.”
“I’m a pretty white bread guy.” I flashed a smile that she didn’t return.
“If you’re not a cop, why are you looking for that kind of trouble?”
My smile changed from friendly to predatory and she took an automatic step back. Whoa. “Maybe I had a family member who found trouble here.” That was more believable than the alternative.
“The cops have already been down here asking questions,” she informed me, inching away.
“They didn’t get anywhere, did they?”
“How would I know?”
“I think you know a lot, Leanne.” I stepped closer to her and she backed up against the wall. “I’m not going to harm you. I just want to find the girl that’s killing her customers.” Her mind flashed to a trio of women; one with pale, almost white hair, another with black hair and one with strawberry blond hair. There were three of them? That was interesting. Not the kind of threesome I usually looked for but it could still be fun. I don’t know for sure that’s it them, but I know the one that got killed went off with Tanya. I’m not giving up a sister, not even to a fine fella like this one. Oh but you just did, Leanne, and thank you.
“I can’t tell you anything,” she informed me, her voice shaking a little at my proximity. I stepped away from her and she breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you anyway. It was nice meeting you, Leanne.” She mumbled something like “sure” back and scurried down the street.
Now I had faces and a name. I walked past the single women, ignoring their verbal and mental comments. I knew what I was looking for and I didn’t have to waste anymore time. I wanted to get home to Bella, not spend time with needy whores.
Ten minutes later I saw them, standing on a dark street corner. They were just as Leanne had pictured. The tallest one, Tanya, leaned against the wall with a cigarette clamped between her teeth. I could see that she’d been beautiful once upon a time. Her skin was pallid now, her hair limp, but her body was attractive and there was a confidence there that few women in her profession had. Oh, they pretended to, but it was all just a show. This one, though, she knew who and what she was. A prostitute, yes, but also a killer. Her eyes met mine and a slow smile curved over her face and I got a glimmer of that beauty she once possessed. “This one’s all mine,” she murmured softly to her friends. A human wouldn’t have heard her. Too bad for her that I didn’t have that problem.
I walked up to them confidently, stopping and flashing them my smile. “Hi.”
“Hello, handsome,” Tanya purred, putting her hand on the sleeve of my leather jacket. I fought the urge to shrug her off. “What can I do for you tonight?” You can die, how does that fucking sound, Tanya?
“Depends. What do you do?”
She giggled. “A better question is what don’t I do? Not much.” She envisioned herself riding me and then slashing my neck open just as I came. I guess at least she let the guy get off before she ended his life. What a fucking humanitarian she was.
“I like a girl without limits,” I told her, using my sexiest voice.
Her fingers trailed up my arm and again I felt like throwing her hand off me. Bella wouldn’t approve. I fucking know that, stupid inner voice. Would she approve of this bitch killing random men right and left? He didn’t fucking answer me, of course, because I was right. Douche. It was time for him to shut the fuck up. Finally. “I like a guy with imagination. Tell me, do you have a good imagination?”
Better than you could ever hope for, honey. “I do, indeed.”
“Well maybe we should go somewhere and you could show me what you’ve got.”
“Lead the way, pretty lady.” I wanted to gag on the words but she seemed to like them. She preened and started to walk away but the raven haired girl grabbed her arm.
“Just give me a minute, okay?” She glared at the girl that held her arm and I walked a few feet away to give her privacy. As if she really had any. “What, Irina?”
“I think you should lay off, Tanya. Do you really have to kill him? He’s gorgeous.”
“The prettier they are on the outside, the uglier on the inside. I’m doing this, Irina.” Hmm, that was pretty fucking insightful, at least in my case.
“Why do you have to do this at all? I don’t like it, Tanya.” The other girl was arguing with her now.
“You saw what they did to Mom, Kate. I’m making them pay.” I got a mental flash of an older blond woman, beaten to a bloody pulp. So their mother had shared their profession, it seemed.
“The cops have already been sniffing around, Tanya. Maybe you should lay low for a little while.”
“I know what I’m doing, Kate. I’ll give it a rest after this one.” I wanted to laugh at the blatant lie. Tanya got off on her kills and now she had a taste for blood. Revenge was secondary to the enjoyment of the act now. She was completely fucking depraved. I couldn’t wait to kill her.
She walked away from her sisters and came up next to me. “You ready?”
I shot her a roguish grin. “Always.” She took me around the corner and ducked into a dilapidated building on 21st Street. I looked around at the dingy rooms and suppressed a shudder. Really classy. She led the way upstairs and stopped at a door with the number 22 on it. She pushed open the door and there was an old stained mattress on the floor and a floor lamp. I did my best not to sneer at the accommodations but really? Fucking in the alley would be more sanitary than this. Not that I was about to fuck her.
“So, tell me what you have in mind.” Her hand was on my chest now and she started toying with the buttons on my shirt. I took a step back, out of her reach. She wasn’t to touch me anymore than she already had. “Are you going to play coy now?” she asked, stepping closer to me.
“I’m not playing coy, I just don’t want you to fucking touch me,” I growled.
“What the fuck is your problem?’ Her eyes flashed with anger but she didn’t back down.
“I don’t have a problem.”
“You sure act like you do.” She shrugged off her linen coat and revealed a skin tight red dress. “I won’t touch you…how about you touch me?” She started to tug the strap off her right shoulder and I put my hand over hers. Damn, he’s cold. I can warm him up. She pictured hot red blood dripping from my neck…if she only fucking knew. “That’s right, baby, you take control.” I chuckled. As if I hadn’t been in complete control from the beginning.
I pushed her against the wall and I saw excitement flash in her pale blue eyes. She still thought she was in charge, despite my obvious height, weight and strength advantages on her. “I know who you are,” I whispered into her right ear. She shivered, whether from excitement or fear I couldn’t say. She’d be afraid soon enough if she wasn’t already.
“Who am I?” she asked, letting her head fall back, exposing her neck to me. The venom welled up in my mouth but I swallowed it back. Not quite yet.
“You’re a killer,” I murmured into her ear. Her head jerked in surprise.
“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She tried to pull away from me but there was nowhere to go. She was caged between my arms against the wall.
“Sure you do, Tanya. You bring get men alone, fuck them and then slit their throats.” She stared at me in shock. How could he know? He’s just bullshitting, trying to get me to admit to something. Deny it all.
“Listen, I don’t know who you are but you’re crazy. Let’s just call this a wash and go our separate ways. Clearly you have the wrong idea about me.” She tried to step away from the wall but I caught her shoulders and held her there.
“Do you know how I know who you are, Tanya?” My voice was a low hiss and she shuddered, not out of desire this time. Fear was written all over her face and the venom started to well up again. I didn’t swallow it back this time though. She shook her head. “Because I’m a killer too. I recognize my kind when I see them.” I could tell her I read her mind but why bother? She was already pretty fucking terrified, as she should be.
He’s going to kill me. No…he can’t. I’m going to kill him. I laughed as she reached underneath her dress and pulled out a switchblade. I could have moved, I suppose, but why? She held the knife between us. “I’ll fucking kill you if you don’t let me go,” her voice shook but she stared me down. She actually thought she could take me. It was fucking hilarious.
“Why don’t you go ahead and try?” I challenged. Her eyes darkened and she held the knife against my throat.
“I’m not kidding. We can both leave here and pretend this never happened. Step back and I’ll let you live.”
“Only one of us is walking out of this room, sweetheart. If you want it to be you, you better act in the next five seconds.” I was a cruel prick, I admit it. She didn’t stand a chance in hell but I liked to see that little bit of hope flash in her pale eyes. She really thought she might be able to walk away.
She tried to slash the knife across my neck and she gasped when nothing happened. She pulled it away and attempted to stab me in the heart. I laughed as the blade broke in half against my chest. “What are you?” she asked, cowering against the wall.
“I’m your death,” I told her. She let out a scream and I sank my teeth into her neck. The scream quickly became a gurgle as her blood filled my mouth. She collapsed against me and I yanked her head back. I didn’t want any more of her touching me than absolutely necessary.
I took most of her blood and then dragged her own blade across her throat, obliterating my teeth marks. I took the pointer finger of her right hand and dipped it in the little bit of the blood that was seeping out of her neck wound. I wrote against the wall, right where I’d killed her, with her own hand. I killed them all. Then I laid her on the mattress and crossed her arms over her stomach. She looked rather peaceful, except for the gaping cut in her neck of course. I imagined her sisters would come looking for her eventually. What they’d tell the cops, if anything, was beyond me. If they called them, they’d have some explaining to do. I took both pieces of her knife with me as it was the only thing I’d touched in the room.
I went the back way the way I came and approached the other two, who were talking to a couple of potential customers that looked like they’d seen better days. The dark haired one, Irina, stared at me with wide eyes and walked toward me hesitantly. “Where…where’s my sister?” Something is very wrong here. The other sister broke away from her guy and walked up as well, looking at me apprehensively.
“I think you know where she is. You know what she is as well. Or should I say was?” My voice was low and threatening. Both women took a step back.
No…Tanya, she can’t be! Irina shook her head in denial. Poor fucking deluded woman.
“You knew she was a killer. Tell me, are you?” I needed to know before I left them alive.
“No, we tried to talk her out of it but…” Kate gave Irina a gesture telling her to be silent.
“But she wouldn’t listen and you wouldn’t turn in your sister.” I could actually fucking respect that, if it weren’t for the fact that their sister was a sick, twisted bitch. Kate nodded. “Well, she’s been stopped, for good.” Kate let out a sob and Irina grabbed her arm. “You’re welcome to call the cops and tell them about me but then you’re going to have to tell them about her as well. And you might be in a bit of trouble for not coming forward in the first place. It’s up to you. But know this…if one of you steps into your sister’s shoes, I will return and you will meet the same fate. Do you understand me?”
They both nodded mutely and their minds didn’t give me any clarity as to what they were thinking. Shock had clearly set in and they were pretty much useless to me now. I wanted to get the fuck home to Bella anyway. If they did set the cops after me, they’d have a hell of a time finding me anyway. I wasn’t worried. I gave them both a predatory smile. “I’ll be going now. You take care of one another and don’t step out of line. I will find out if you do.” I left them standing on their pathetic little street corner, clutching one another in confusion and pain.
As soon as I turned the corner, I sped up my pace. I wanted to get the fuck away from this dark, dank part of the world and return to the light that was my Bella. She alone could remove the filth that felt like it was clinging to my skin and clothes. I hoped I never had to return to this part of the city, it was fucking depressing as hell. I reached my car and immediately felt better the closer I got to Bella. I was inordinately excited to see her again.
I parked on the street and ran up the stairs quickly, throwing the door open, nearly vibrating with anticipation. She wasn’t on the couch watching TV and I felt a surge of disappointment that she wasn’t waiting to greet me. But then, I heard her on the stairs. She hurried down and a smile lit up her face. She’d never looked more beautiful and I swear I could feel her from across the room. “Edward, you’re home!” She ran toward me and leapt into my arms and fuck if that wasn’t the most perfect greeting I’d ever had in my entire fucking life. She leaned forward and her lips were nearly an inch from mine when all of a sudden her nose twitched and a look of horror washed over her face. Oh shit.
“You killed her!” she shrieked, shoving me back against the door as she pushed away from me. My head hit the wood with a resounding crack. That fucking hurt. Wait a minute, she thought I killed Angela? What the hell? How about a little fucking faith, woman? “How could you kill her? You said she was nice and reminded you of me. Is that why you did it?” She started stomping around the room, her hair streaming behind her. I salivated at the sight while rubbing my head where it had smacked into the door. “Did you turn her? Do you want two of us now? Is that what happened? Edward and his little harem, living to serve him? If you fucking think I’m going to share you with her, you’ve got another think coming. You’re mine!” She punctuated that statement by jabbing her pointer finger into my chest. Much harder and she would actually puncture my nearly impenetrable skin.
Edward Junior was standing at attention, not surprising since Bella was completely fucking hot as she staked her claim on me yet again. I started to reach for her but she whirled away from me. “How could you kill her?” she demanded, her ruby eyes staring at me accusingly.
“I didn’t kill her, I…”
“I can smell the blood, Edward. Don’t you dare lie to me!” she shrieked. Holy fuck, why had I been in such a hurry to get home? She crossed her arms underneath her breasts and I remembered why I had been anxious to see her. She was wearing a green tank top and black jeans and she looked incredibly fuckable; well except for the flaring nostrils and hostile glare. Of course that actually made me want to fuck her more because I was clearly mentally ill.
“I’m not lying to you, I’m trying to tell you that I…”
“So you didn’t kill her? Did you change her then? How could you, Edward? Am I not enough for you?” And just like that, her anger deflated and she looked like a forlorn child. Judging that the storm had passed, I reached for her and pulled her back into my arms. She came into them docilely, burrowing into my chest. I felt like a fucking asshole, she’d be crying if she could right now, I could tell.
I tilted her head up and looked into that impossibly sad face. Her lower lip poked out and I wanted to bite it but now wasn’t the time. It was never the time with Bella, it fucking seemed. “You are more than enough for me, Bella. Do you really think that I could possibly want anyone else when I have you?” She nodded sadly and tried to pull away but I tightened my grip on her. “Look at me, Bella. Am I lying to you right now?”
Her eyes focused on mine and I tried to put every ounce of passion that I felt for her into my gaze. A little smile stole over her perfect lips and I knew she believed me. It was about fucking time. Then she bit down on her lip and I let out a groan as Edward Junior made himself known again. Bella was pressed up against me and her lips were only a few short inches from mine. I only had to lean forward a little and…
“If you didn’t kill her or turn her, who did you kill?” Fuck. Of course she went there.
“A serial killer.”
“You managed to run into a serial killer at some point on your date? How the hell does that happen?” She tilted her head to the side and frowned up at me. I wanted to lick her.
“I didn’t run into her on my date, I ran into her after.” Okay, so I went looking for her. It was all fucking semantics.
“Her?” There was an edge in her tone again. Jealousy, I fucking loved it.
“Yes, her.”
“Who did she kill?” She was maintaining her calm at the moment but I knew I had to tread fucking carefully here.
“Men.”
She raised an eyebrow. “She just walked around killing men willy-nilly?” What was this, the fucking Spanish Inquisition?
“No, she picked out certain men and then got them alone and killed them.” There, perfectly vague. Leave it alone Bella.
“How did she manage that? Was she pretty?” Fuck. Of course she wouldn’t leave it alone. She’d have been the perfect interrogator. Perhaps she could have gotten a job at Homeland Security, interviewing terrorists and whatnot.
And how the fuck was I supposed to answer that question? If I said no, she’d ask a zillion more questions about how she got guys to go with her. If I said yes, she’d be pissed that I thought another girl was pretty, even if I’d drained said girl’s fucking blood. It was a lose/lose situation. “I suppose some men would find her attractive,” I told her, excluding myself from the pack.
“So she hit on men and then took them home and killed them?” I nodded. That was sort of what fucking happened, right? She glared at me then. “So she hit on you and you went home with her and killed her?” Well fuck; I walked right into that one; didn’t I?
“Not exactly.” You are royally fucked, Edward. I tried to tell you, didn’t I? But you didn’t listen. Enjoy the wrath. Of course the motherfucker would desert me in my time of need.
“Then what, exactly?” She began tapping her foot as she waited for my answer. Oh well, what did I have to fucking lose? Your balls, your cock, your head, your left arm…Real helpful, you sarcastic dick. Get the fuck out of my head if you’re not going to be of any use to me.
“She…uh…” Bella looked at me expectantly. “She was a…pstwokldcstmrs.” I spat it out all in one word and Bella blinked.
“What?”
I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. “She was a prostitute who killed her customers,” I muttered, more clearly this time.
“So you pretended to be a customer?” Oh, fuck, the frost in her tone was enough to make Edward Junior fall off and die.
“Maybe,” I replied cautiously, edging a little bit away from her for fear that fists and feet were about to fly. I never fucking knew with Bella and for some reason that continued to excite the hell out of me. I really did need to find a shrink.
“So you just strolled up to a hooker and went off with her God knows where to fuck and then kill her?” The frost in her tone gave way to anger, white hot anger. Well shit, why in the hell did she think I fucked the girl first? I would never do that. Well, okay, I would fucking do that before Bella, but not after.
“No! I mean, I let her think I wanted to fuck her but really I just wanted to kill her.”
She growled. “Is that really better, Edward?” Well, I sure fucking thought so.
“Yes. I wouldn’t…you know…be with anyone else. I have you.” I gave her a smile and she just glowered at me. So much for my famous fucking charm.
“But you haven’t had me, have you? So you got tired of waiting and found a whore to be with?” She hurled the words at me like a weapon. What the fuck? Like it was my fault she wouldn’t fucking sleep with me?
“Jesus Christ, do I look like I’ve had sex? Do I smell like I’ve had sex? You smelled the blood on me right away, don’t you think you’d fucking notice that too? And how many damn times do I need to tell you that you’re the only one I want for it to sink through your thick fucking skull, Bella? Two hundred? A million? A billion? Because I’d like to get started reciting that shit so we can move the fuck on already. I’m getting tired of you doubting me every minute of the fucking day,” I roared at her and the angry look left her face. She looked flustered and surprised. That was better than pissed off and judgmental any day.
“Well, what was I supposed to think?” she asked softly.
“That I’d fucking be true to my word, maybe? Have I ever fucking lied to you since you woke up and I told you everything?” She shook her head no. “Well then, give me the benefit of the fucking doubt, Bella. I didn’t fuck the whore. I followed her back to the room she used and I bit and drained her.” Bella flinched at that but she didn’t say anything. “She was deranged bitch who got off on killing men as she screwed them. Maybe they weren’t the nicest men in the world, but did they deserve to die for paying for sex?”
“Well, no, but…”
“Yeah, but…I know you don’t approve of me killing anyone. I get that, but you have to understand that this is who I am. And if you care about me, you have to tolerate that just like I tolerate the fact that you won’t kill anyone. I can’t make all the compromises here, Bella. You have to give too.” Man, where the fuck had that come from? I was rather proud of myself.
Bella opened her mouth and then closed it again. She sighed and then said, “You’re right.” What? Did she just say…what?
“What?” Okay, so I was a little bit stuck on the fact that she just fucking said I was right. Had that ever happened? Would it ever happen again?
“I said you’re right. I need to accept who you are just like you accept me. I’m not going to pretend to like it nor am I going to just forget it, but I won’t give you crap every time you feed either. I’m not giving up, mind you, but I won’t scream at you anymore either.” Well, how the fuck did she get so reasonable? I thought about questioning it but why look a gift horse in the mouth?
“Um, great.”
Bella grabbed my hand and tugged me into the music room. She had a book sitting out on the coffee table. So that’s what she’d been doing while I was gone. “So.” She sat on the couch and pulled me down next to her. “How did the date go then?” Crap, another loaded fucking question.
“It was fine. Kinda boring really.”
She frowned at that. “What do you mean, boring? Didn’t she have a good time?”
“Well, of course, she had a good time. I was bored. I missed you.” There it was; that million dollar fucking smile again. It made me warm inside.
She leaned her head on my shoulder. “Tell me all about it.”
She was a masochist too, it seemed. So I took her through the date from the time I picked Angela up, telling her about the rose, which pleased her, and that kissass Trevor, which made her laugh. I told her about the couple of bites of food I had to swallow and the show. “Then I dropped her off and went and threw up the food and then hunted.”
“What did you she say when you dropped her off?” Oh, fuck. “Did you tell her you were leaving?” I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Yes, I told her I had to return to Chicago since I was failing my class. She was sorry I had to go but she enjoyed the evening. She wanted me to come in but I said no.” Fuck, why had that slipped out? I wasn’t going to tell her that.
Bella chuckled and grinned up at me. “So she invited you in? You must have made quite an impression to get her to overcome her shyness. I don’t know if I could have done that in her place.”
I ran a finger over her cheek. “You were brave enough to come home with me, I’m sure you would have been brave enough to invite me in.”
She smiled. “Maybe…I surprise myself constantly around you.” That made us even. “So that was it? She didn’t get upset when you rejected her, did she? You let her down gently I hope!”
My stomach dropped. Here it was. Lie or tell the truth? If I lied, she’d never fucking know. But you would and it would eat at you until you admitted it. How do you know, motherfucker? And who asked you? You did! No, I was asking myself. I am you, fuckwad. Damn I hated him.
Bella was looking at me, waiting for my answer. The longer I hesitated, the worse it would be, right? “I, um, well actually…you’re not going to like this.”
Her eyes widened. “I thought you said you didn’t kill her? Edward so help me…”
“I didn’t! I didn’t kill her! Damn it, why do you keep going there? I just kissed the girl for crying out loud!”
She jerked her head off my shoulder and put her hand on my chest. “What did you just say?” Oh fuck…that hadn’t been the best way to reveal that little bit of information.
“I…um, I kissed her but…”
“You promised me! Did you just say that you never broke your word? You fucking kissed her? How could you?” She was off the couch in a flash and before I could process what she was doing, she yanked my guitar off its stand and hurled it at me. I ducked and it crashed into the wall, getting stuck there. Fuck, I loved that guitar.
She grabbed my CDs and started hurling them at me one by one as I ducked and dodged my way over to her. I grabbed both her hands to try to still her and she brought her knee up and nailed me right in the fucking crotch. Jesus, that fucking hurt. I didn’t release her though. I picked her up and carried her to the couch, pulling her down to my lap as she wriggled on top of me. Though he wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as he usually was, Edward Junior did harden as her ass moved against him. He, like me, was a twisted motherfucker who apparently got off on being beaten up by Bella. I kept my arms locked around her as she struggled against me.
“Bella, I swear I’ll let you go after you listen to me.”
“Why should I listen to you? You’re a fucking liar. You kissed Angela! You probably fucked her and then the whore you went to next. How many others between them? Did you service the whole fucking neighborhood?” She was so fucking melodramatic all the time. I let her rant, accusing me of sleeping with every hooker in a ten block radius and Angela’s fellow nurses and random girls at the museum and everyone else she could think of. It was actually rather amusing but I managed not to laugh. I was impressed that she thought I had that kind of stamina. I mean, I did, but only for her.
When she finally wound down, I took a breath. “Can I talk now, or do you have more to say?” She shrugged and continued to try to get loose but I wasn’t about to let her go. She wasn’t trying that hard anyway…she could have gotten away if she wanted to.
“Listen, from the very beginning, I’ve equated you with Angela and vice versa, right?” She didn’t answer so I continued on. “I went on this date at your request…no, actually your demand.” She glared at me but didn’t contradict my words because she knew I was fucking right. “And I treated her like I would treat you.” She started to struggle again and I stilled her. Thank God she didn’t fucking know that she was actually stronger than me. That was information I planned on keeping to myself indefinitely. She could find that shit out after she no longer had newborn strength.
“Just hold the fuck on, Bella and listen to me. So I went on that date and I was a perfect gentleman. I opened her door, I gave her a flower, I gave her the kind of night…well, the kind of night that you dreamed of, right?” She let out a little cry and it tore at my heart. I kissed her forehead and continued. “And I listened, Bella. Not to her words, although I did that too.” Sort of. “I listened to her mind, to try to figure out who you were. This is going to piss you off, probably, but I wasn’t interested in what she thought. I was interested in what you thought.” She let out a huff of breath but let me continue.
“Being in her mind is the closest I’m ever probably going to get into yours. And do you know what I found there, Bella?”
“What?” she asked petulantly. At least she was fucking talking again.
“Exactly what you told me I would. She doubted that a guy like me would ever be with her. She thought I just felt obliged to take her out. She felt like we were worlds apart. Her thoughts sounded exactly like the stuff you spew at me on a regular basis. I…I wished that she could find a guy like Jason for herself.”
She blinked at me in surprise. “Really?” Disbelief echoed in her tone.
I chuckled. “Yes, really. So, when we got to her house and she asked me in…she was so nervous and she could barely get the words out. I couldn’t do that to you, of course, but I couldn’t do that to her either. I knew she deserved better than just some one night stand with a virtual stranger. But, it took fucking balls for her to ask, Bella. And she was mortified when I said no. I felt terrible. Normally I could walk away from a girl without a second thought but not you…and not her either because she was nice and she reminded me of you.”
“Then, I heard her thoughts and she wondered if I would kiss her. I couldn’t reject her again, even if she didn’t verbalize it. I would never do that to you and I couldn’t do that to her either. Does that make sense?” I really hoped it fucking made sense to her because it sure didn’t to me. I was fucking changing and I didn’t know if that was a good or a bad thing.
“Yes,” she whispered, not looking at me. I tilted her head back up and raised an eyebrow at her. She sighed. “Alright, if I had been Angela in that situation, I would have wanted a kiss too and I would have been heartbroken if you hadn’t.”
“I didn’t mean to break my promise to you, Bella. I don’t ever want to hurt you but I didn’t want to hurt her either. I made a judgment call in that moment and it felt like the right thing to do. I’m sorry that I upset you though.” Jesus Christ, I was a fucking Hallmark Card. I needed another ball check pronto. What were these fucking chicks doing to me? And the sad fucking thing is I wasn’t bullshitting her either. Maybe all these hits to my head were finally getting to me.
“I’m sorry that I smashed your guitar,” she mumbled. I laughed and loosened my hold on her, enough to pull her in for a hug. Thank fucking God she hugged me back.
“I can get a new one. I can’t get a new you though. Are we okay?” I waited with baited breath for her answer.
“Yeah, we are.” I leaned down to seal that with a kiss and she put her hand over my lips. “That doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you right after you kissed her.” I rolled my eyes. That fucking figured.
“Alright, if you don’t want to kiss, how about I feed you instead?”
“Blood?” she asked nervously.
“Blood,” I replied.
She took a deep breath and blew it out. “Okay, let’s do it.”
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