They Gave Me A Story I Couldn’t Refuse

Just envision some Godfather music playing as EJ & Nicole wed.

Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in!  Alright, that’s enough Godfather quoting, but I had to demonstrate my point strongly, because in the last few days Days has managed to regain my attention and amazingly my interest.  And that is thanks to their Godfatheresque story line involving arranging a hit during EJ’s wedding.  Apparently somebody always needs to get shot during EJ’s weddings…at least this time it wasn’t EJ himself.  Though I am quite sorry it was pretty Philip.  Why it can’t be Max or Melanie is beyond me, but then again, I probably wouldn’t get interested if it was.

Philip bleeds as EJ & Nicole wed.

The thing that makes this interesting of course is the potential for kicking off a REAL DiMera/Kiriakis war that has nothing to do with docks and legal documents.  And John Black.  That is all very vital to my happiness.  The stakes are actually real and tangible this time.  Tony died in an accident and Stefano blamed Philip so he convinced EJ they needed to kill him in retaliation.  And of course the best time for such an action was during EJ’s wedding, because for some reason that would make nobody suspect them.  Except that everyone does anyway and they’re not remotely surprised or concerned about that.  Which is cool, they should feel confident and untouchable, that’s what makes it feel Godfatherlike.  Am I wrong?

Victor gets the call that Philip has been shot.

Today Stefano got confronted by Victor and Kate, who is now no longer a friend of Stefano since he tried to kill her son.  Steffy managed to portray surprise that Kate was upset with and accusing him.  It cracked me up.  Meanwhile EJ was confronted by Sami and he didn’t admit or deny it.  Nicole is clued in as well and she’s acting the part of the good mob moll and implying that she’s alright with anything he does.  I wouldn’t be so encouraging if I were her but god knows she’s desperate to hold on to him right now so if pulling a Carly Corinthos will work, she’ll do it.

The baby switch stuff still looms to spoil my love, but for now, I can deal.

Figuring out that EJ is not only behind Philip’s shooting and Brady’s beating made Sami step back from her dumb plan of announcing that Grace is his baby at his wedding.  Seriously, why was the girl interrupting his wedding to tell him about the baby if she didn’t want him back or not to marry Nicole?  Sami’s motivations have usually been clear but the writers aren’t giving that to us this time around and it’s really the only clunker in the story line.  Either she wants EJ back or she doesn’t, if she doesn’t, then interrupting the wedding made no sense.  Oh well, I know I ask too much when I ask for character motivations.  I need to just sit back and enjoy actually anticipating some good scenes.

Because good scenes can definitely be had from here on out.  Brady has been reluctant to get drawn into the feud but now that he’s gotten his ass kicked and his cousin has been shot, he’s likely to fall in line.  Philip could be interesting, he could either got deeper into the war or he could be hesitant to participate after getting hurt and out of love for Stephanie.  Victor is in, obviously and Bo is an interesting outsider who has been drawn in through his police connections.  I’d love to see Bo work to help his brother again, I was impressed with him trying to lay into Stefano today.  He failed, of course, but he didn’t sound like a usual member of the idiot Salem PD either.

I have long wanted to see Victor vs. Stefano and EJ vs. Philip, so this could get very interesting.  I’m rather sad that the DiMera side is so small, unless we drag Lexie in.  Which…no.  Too bad they can’t SORAS Johnny and make him about Will’s age, that would be cool.  Or Theo…now Theo could be really interesting, I mean, I think they cured his autism last time I saw him.  Imagine the mayor’s kid edging into the gray/black side of the family?  So many cool things they could do.  I know, I am setting myself up for disappointment but it’s cool to think about.

FINALLY!

I would be remiss if I did not mention the other momentous event that happened this week.  Not only did we get a potentially good story line (for the first time in eons) but we also got shirtless Brady!!!  Yes, finally, after months of the man being covered in layers of clothing, we got to see him bare chested.  Of course they managed to put a smudge on the moment by having him be all beaten up and tended to by the annoying Melanie, but the chest was beautiful enough to get beyond all that.  I said on a message board that I go to that everybody involved with covering that man up since he arrived on the scene needs to be fired and I stand by that.  It’s a crime.  They better not make us wait so long again!

So there you have it, Days gave me two things to hold on to.  I’m as shocked as you are, and I’m hoping not to be back in a couple weeks lamenting my stupidity in thinking that my interest could be maintained.  But, I’ll celebrate the few good things I can find with this soap, it’s been a long time since I had any.  I promise that as long as things keep cooking in this story, I will blog about it more frequently.  Plus all my other shows are about to check out for the summer so I’ll need something to talk about!  I’ll be back soon, Days watchers!

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Higley Won The Battle, But I Remain Standing

It’s been ages since my last Days post, I know.  It’s not that I haven’t been watching either.  Every day at one I flip to NBC and watch faithfully, although I work while watching, some days harder than others.  But I stopped caring.  I don’t know when it happened but I really don’t give a damn anymore.  There are myriad reasons for that and we’ll discuss them here, but I really have lost all interest in my once favorite Salemites.  It’s not even that the writing is so terrible anymore either; many have said and I agree that the show actually seems to have a cohesive direction these days.  Rarely do I feel like different people are writing different shows each day.  I’ve read the April spoilers and some of them sound downright interesting, or they would be if I retained any interest in the program.  What can you do?

The first thing that killed my love was the constant seesawing between couples.  My friend, Tripp, pointed out to me several months ago that every single couple on screen currently was with someone else less than 6 months ago (not now but this is when I was getting disenchanted).  That’s not counting the vets since they were all mostly nonexistent.  It just felt like new pairings were happening every couple of weeks; Philip bounced from Chloe to Morgan back to Chloe for 5 seconds to Stephanie with a little Melanie on the side.  Couples with no chemistry randomly came together (lookin at you Chloe and Lucas!) and were engaged within minutes of screwing in an elevator.  Or it felt that way anyway.  One uncle/niece pairing was traded for another.  EJami/EJole came down to baby switching and lies…it was quite sad really because I once cared mightily about both pairings and now, not so much.

Where pairings were my first draw for Days watching, they were hardly my only, for I loved certain characters regardless, or maybe because of, their bad actions.  I don’t even have that anymore.  My once shining gray to black to white EJ does nothing for me anymore.  Part of that is, of course, due to his terrible hair but not all of it.  My EJ would never believe the stuff that Nicole pulled on him, nor would he have believed Sami’s lame pregnancy coverup attempts before she went to the safehouse.  I do get occasional glimpses of the EJ I love when he fights with Brady or Philip or belittles Melanie, but those are few and far between.  I do hold out hope that my love can be restored with more of those scenes and a good haircut but the Days Emmy winning hair team will never fix him properly so I resign myself to watching my shell of a pretty man be fooled by the women in his life.

The vet exodus also took me out of the show.  I hated John and Marlena with all that was in me but they were written off so unsatisfactorily that I couldn’t even celebrate.  Instead I had to feel BAD for them for having such a terrible sendoff, with John paralyzed and their reunion crammed into 10 minutes of show.  Then Steve and Kayla got the boot but instead of being written off they’re getting the “Alice” treatment, mentioned like they’re in the next room but we all know they’re not.  Now a part of me is grateful they weren’t written off, because I feared Higley would have Kayla die from her gunshot wound and Steve either leave town or commit suicide to be with his love eternally.  What?  You think that didn’t occur to her?  You know it did!  So at least they were spared a terrible write off but it seems to me that actors that were icons of the show could have been given a proper goodbye, in both cases.  Throw in the fact that Bo & Hope were temporarily broken up by retarded psychic visions and now Bo is seeing Hope in bed with some other guy in his visions and well…it doesn’t speak highly for the veteran pairings does it?  And the vets are what people were invested in.  Love them or hate them, that’s what people tuned in for with Days.  I know who Hope is in bed with in the Bo visions and there aren’t words for the horror of that one.  I shan’t discuss it here now, that’ll be another blog, but suffice it to say that we’ll all need to bleach our eyes for those scenes.

While the vets were backburnered, certain characters were shoved on our screens and made into main players with little to no lead up.  What does that do for you?  It makes me disinterested in the characters.  I liked Melanie for about 5 seconds but then they shoved her in every single storyline and let her butt up against every hot guy in town like she was Heather Locklear on Melrose Place and any interest I had in her faded like 80’s denim.  Same with Daniel, they shoved him into that passionless pairing with Chelsea and then threw him and Kate and by the time they turned him to Chloe, when he could actually be interesting, I just didn’t give a damn anymore.  Well I sort of gave a damn in the sense that certain people I hated on message boards were not getting their favorite pairings, but other than that I really didn’t care.  I pretended to though, to rub it in cause I’m a bitch like that.

All those things, combined with tons of other little ones, have come together to make me severly disinterested in Days.  Not disheartened because I truly did stop caring.  It was probably silly to care about soaps anyway, but I invest in my TV, which is quite clear since I spend good chunks of time here writing about it.  Higley did manage to kill my joy in Days but she hasn’t turned me away yet.  I will still be watching the day the final credits roll, hopefully long after she’s no longer at the helm of the show but I’m a realist.  I hold on hoping that one day I’ll care again or that one day they’ll remember that Eric Martsoff used to be shirtless 99% of the time on his other show and maybe give us a glimpse of naked Brady.  This would perk up my interest considerably, along with fixing EJ’s brains and his hair.  I am shallow enough to buy right back in, so I’ll keep on and wait for the Power of the Pretty to bring me back.  Dena will not defeat me!

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Obligatory Days Post

I know, I’ve been lax in my Days blogging after promising not to be.  But what has there been to say really?  Is there anything going on onscreen worth talking about?  Baby switches that everyone saw coming a mile away?  Danloe sexing up the screen?  Psychic visions?  A whole bunch of crap in my view point.  But of course, the behind the scenes stuff seems to be far more engaging, doesn’t it?

Hot off the heels of John & Marlena’s poignant exit (you know, about as a poignant as a kick in the teeth) came the news that Steve & Kayla are out the door as well.  That’s 2 of the 3 super couples on the show gone.  I realize that the super couple label doesn’t really apply anymore, because they’re barely on the screen, but a lot of us were hanging on for those brief moments of happy couples with chemistry since the majority of the younger pairings are about as hot as an iceberg.

You know, it wouldn’t even take a good writer to come up with a story for Steve & Kayla.  They were separated for 15 years or so, have some blast from the past come along and complicate matters.  I know they tried with Ava, but remember I mentioned that it wouldn’t take a good writer, not an atrocious one like we’re stuck with.  Say a guy Kayla went to med school with turns up.  There was no romance there, but he always liked her and Steve is jealous.  Presto, you have a story.  Not even a front burner one.  Or, using what we have on screen, mine the Johnson/Kiriakis story as their kids attempt to navigate through the beginning of a relationship.  I’d kill to see snarky Victor and snarkier Steve share some scenes.  It’s really not that difficult.

Not only are Steve & Kayla getting the boot; they’re not even getting an exit.  They are still going to be in Salem and referred to now and then.  In other words, they’re becoming the new babysitters.  Where’s Johnny?  He’s over at Steve & Kayla’s?  Where’s Ciara?  Kayla took her and Joe to the park.  How nice.  They’re the new Alice.  You reduced one of the most popular couples ever to the role of nanny.  I guess I should be happy that they didn’t decide to have Kayla die of her gunshot wound and have Steve commit suicide as the utter sign of his devotion.  You know they’d think that was the epitome of romance.  Sad.

Also on the exit front, Tony’s leaving us in March.  He gets to die to leave, apparently, and kick off some kind of murder mystery.  Oh yay.  Those have worked out so well in the past haven’t they?  Wonder what random person they’ll pin it on.  Probably the hot barista, Evan.  Can’t have any hotties wandering around the town.

Actually, it occurs to me that the murderer could be Chelsea.  Today news broke that Rachel Melvin has given the show notice that she won’t be returning after her contract ends in the spring.  So, she could kill Tony and get sent to jail and reunite with Nick!  It’ll be like Chick never ended.  Romance!!!  Go Corday and Whitesell and Higley!  You’re redefining the genre as I type.  Sigh.  I don’t know why I’m still watching.

Hilariously, in the article about the firings and people leaving the show, Corday mentions that there will be no more firings (HA) and he says he gave inspirational T-shirts to the remaining cast.  What the hell is inspirational about what is happening at the show right now?  What do the shirts say?  At least I’m not paralyzed!  Brainwashed by the DiMera’s and loving it so I don’t have to remember that I’m on this show!  Dr. Feelgood was here (arrow pointing at the boobs).

But the show will soldier on til it’s inevitable cancellation, which seems more and more certain as the days go by.  Of course, somehow the ratings have gotten better and held steady so maybe we’ll be treated to years more of the fantastic writing team!  Can you feel the excitement?  I promise that I will remain on the sinking ship with the rest of you, snarking til the very bitter end, no matter when it comes.  I’ll watch every breast grope, every psychic vision and every Melanie screech with you.  It’s the least I can do.  We’ll suffer together.  I won’t let Corday and Higley defeat me.

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Days of Our Disgust

One last Jarlena kiss for old time's sake.

Friday was supposed to be a glorious Days day for me; John & Marlena, my long despised Days pairing, was finally leaving the canvas.  When that initial news broke, I was filled with unparalleled TV joy.  Free of the gasping, free of the face eating, free of the eyebrow…free at last!  But a funny thing happened on the way to Friday, spoilers as to John & Marlena’s exit began to leak and they were so disappointing and unsatisfactory that my joy in the moment waned and eventually disappeared.  Watching it play out just as the spoilers indicated didn’t please me in any way, instead I felt bad that a once major pairing was exiting the show in such a ridiculous and awful way.  One thing happened to make me remember why I was glad they were leaving, however, but we’ll discuss that along the way.

So many things were wrong with this exit that I probably can’t begin to cover them all, but we’ll start with the method used to usher them off.  Marlena was having a confrontation with Dr. Taylor over her viewing John’s hypnotherapy session and knowing that his memories were resurfacing.  Dr. Taylor was unhappy with this and decided to attack Marlena with her trusty hypodermic.  Do all doctors on staff carry these around for any confrontation they may come across?  Does Dan have one handy for if Kate stumbles upon him and Chloe screwing on the couch?  Does Lexie have one just in case someone shoves her into another tunnel?  These are the things I’d like to know.  Anyway, struggle ensues and John comes in so Dr. Taylor sticks him instead.  John collapses, Marlena gasps, Bo and Hope arrest Dr. Taylor.

Kayla runs some tests on John (too bad Dan wasn’t around, I’m sure he would have cured him) and Marlena takes some time alone with him.  She gives him a magic kiss and suddenly his memories are all back.  We’re treated to some classic John & Marlena flashbacks, which I had hoped for as part of their exit.  Something they got right, just a small something though.  Kayla comes in and Marlena tells her that John has his memory back.  Kayla says she thought he might based upon the tests she ran…um…okay.  That made zero sense to me but this is Days, medical knowledge is not their forte.  She then tells them that John is paralyzed from the neck down.  John responds to this news by telling Marlena to leave him and go on with her life.  Um, when has she ever done that John?  She refuses and we get some cheesy dialogue about standing by her man.  He says she’d have to give up her whole life to go to Switzerland with him to which she responds that there is no life without him.  How romantic!  Except, to me it’s not cause she does have a daughter who is currently being hunted by a killer with a tendency to talk to himself.  Terrifying.  When John brings up Sami she says, “She’ll survive.”  Oh really?  You’re 100% sure of that?  It’s not as if Sami is gallivanting around town with nary a care in the world.  In case you’re wondering, this is the moment that reminded me why I was glad they were leaving.  That Marlena, the one who ONLY cares about John and herself, is the reason I despised the character for years.  She may not know Sami is pregnant but she damn well knows that she is in danger.  Ugh.

Dee Hall cries tears of joy over getting away from this crapfest.

Sorry about that, mini-rant over.  Anyway, John then asks Marlena to marry him again.  She gasps and agrees and then runs out to tell Kayla and Brady the news.  Roman shows up to see the nuptuals as well.  Why he was there is beyond me, smiling in the background.  I realize the 3 were all tied to each other but I think going to his 7th Jarlena wedding would be a little bit much.  I don’t think he had any lines, he was just there smirking in the background.  Pointless.  Also on hand was Stefano, who was apparently so upset over John’s paralysis and possible death that he had to send EJ to Italy in his place and run over to the hospital to give him a salute through the window.  Why Stefano would even care is beyond me, short of the fact that HE wasn’t the one behind this illness.  I know, it gave Marlena an opportunity to tell him off, which, been there done that.  But it also did give us a John eyebrow raise, which was appropriate under the circumstances.  I get that they were trying to show that Stefano thought John a worthy opponent and thus respected him, I just don’t think they did it right.  Making him appear upset was all wrong.  Having him say something to John like, “Get well soon and we’ll go another round” would have been more satisfactory to me.

For once, Josh Taylor's expression mirrors my own.

Anyway, John and Marlena pledged their eternal love and that was pretty much that.  Their total scene time on Friday added up to about 14:30.  14:30 to say goodbye to a couple that had been on the show for over 20 years and many fans were heavily invested in.  They don’t get waltz off to a happy future together, they get to wheel John off to a helicopter to fly to Switzerland for treatment.  Frustration, diaper changes, anger…that’s what we get to imagine for them.  Oh I know, we can imagine her love giving him the will to fight and all that, but the reality is that he leaves with his mind intact and his body helpless.  I can’t imagine that fans of this couple felt that was the happy ending they deserved.  I didn’t feel it was the happy ending they deserved and I don’t even like them.

Only Dena Higley and Corday and co can manage to take the exit of a one time supercouple and manage to make it epically unsastisfactory for fans and haters alike.  Fans got to see their hero exit on his back while haters had to feel bad about that exit instead of enjoying it.  I didn’t even get a “That’s a fact” to seal my joy.  So, I really just wanted to say, in my usual long winded way, that I am truly sorry for fans of John & Marlena that they got a send off like that.  I wouldn’t wish that upon any coupling, particularly one that I liked.  I guess now you can make your own happy ending for them, though you shouldn’t have to.  The writers did you wrong, which is not remotely surprising.  They can’t get anything right.

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Engaging Days

Nothing says romance like hooking up with some other guy at your engagement party!

Ha, it occurs to me that reading the title of my blog might make the less informed think that I was actually engaged in the happenings on Days of Our Lives right now.  Rest assured, though, nothing could be further from the truth.  I just decided to check in with my obligatory Dan/Chloe blog before they hit the sheets tomorrow.  I would spoiler that but I think everyone knows it’s coming, what with them making out at her engagement party the other day.  Someone not watching might think this wasn’t a big deal, but seeing as her engagement party is to celebrate her future marriage to Lucas, well, it’s not the classiest thing I’ve ever seen happen on Days.  Not that that bar is very high.

One kiss and off comes the shirt!

I thought I would examine the evolution of Danloe and let you see why I don’t like it but at the same time I can’t ignore it because it is the most riveting thing on the show right now.  First, one must know the “love story” that is Lucas/Chloe.  See, Chloe came back from Austria minus her husband, Brady.  Initially nobody knew where he was but then it turned out that his grandfather had him kidnapped and thrown into rehab for his drug addiction.  For some reason everyone in town blamed Chloe for his drug addiction even though he is a grown man, but whatever.  Chloe was lonely and one day she popped over to talk to Lucas and ask him be her friend.  He was busy being angry about EJami sex and his sharing the DiMera quarters (for some inexplicable reason) and he agreed.  Even though he was on house arrest, he got some special tool and broke out of his leg monitor and went to the docks where he saw Chloe crying.  So he called her to make her feel better.  It was quite special as I’m sure you can imagine.  Then he called her another day and decided to break out of DiMansion and go to the hotel she was staying in.  She met him in the elevator, there was a power outage, she hyperventilated and he screwed her to shut her up.  It was quite romantic as you can no doubt tell.  They’ve been a couple ever since and supposedly love one another despite the fact that she didn’t want to be a mother to his child and that they don’t seem to have anything in common at all.

What do you mean inappropriate? I don't know the meaning of that word!

Enter Daniel!  I’ve chronicled the story of Dr. Dan in many a blog (way too many) so I won’t rehash it all here.  Suffice it to say that he has a jones for any sick chick in town and he was romancing a girl (I emphasize the word girl here) half his age after he screwed her grandmother.  It was also quite romantic.  Then the girl got mad that he sexed up her granny and dumped him, which was a relief to most of the viewership of Days.  Then he got with grandma, probably because she was ill with cancer and nothing could be hotter to him.  Then he found out Chloe once had cancer herself and immediately got interested in her.  It was like a light turned on, I’ve never seen anything like it.  Anyway, he started fantasizing about her and she about him and then Grandma dumped him.  Dan and Chloe have had a couple meaningful gazes and tense discussions and of course the infamous exam room breast grope (SO HOT!) and then we got the hot and heavy make out at her engagement party.  Higley, romance is thy middle name!

I'm confused? Which niece am I hooking up with this week?

So, here’s how it all went down.  Kate bought Chloe a special dress to wear for the big party.  When I say big party, I mean big.  The majority of the party was Lucas, Kate, Chloe, Dan, Chelsea, Stephanie and Max.  Victor showed up to rain on the parade and Nicole and EJ stopped in.  Quite the shindig, 10 whole people!  Chloe went upstairs to change and Dan followed her up there to have a confrontation about how she shouldn’t be going through this charade with Lucas anymore and how she wanted him above and beyond everything.  That apparently made her hot and they started going at it.  Lucas came upstairs after about an hour to find out where Chloe was and hilariously was talking to her through the door asking her what she was doing and what was taking so long.  Poor, clueless Lucas.  He really should just chuck it all and go gay at this point because the woman thing is just not working out for him.  I would give you more detail on the action but that would require more attention than I pay this show these days.

Tomorrow Chloe goes over to Dan’s to tell him she can’t be with him anymore, which inevitably leads to them having sex all over his apartment.  Naturally.  And, unbelievably, they get their own musical montage.  What is there to show?  Breast grope and engagement make out?  And of course him carrying her on the docks after she sprained an ankle.  Really quite a lot of history to mine from there.  The sad thing is that I could have actually approved of this pairing were it not for the breast grope in the exam room.  That turned me off right there and pretty much lost me forever.  They actually have chemistry, they’re attractive together and they make more sense than Lucas/Chloe and Dan/Chelsea ever could or did.  But you don’t start a potential relationship by having a guy sexually harass his patient.  Her finding that hot is just disturbing and I can’t support it, I really can’t.

Why is Higley turning me into such a ho? What have I ever done to her?

Even sadder than all that is the fact that they are by far the most interesting pairing on the canvas right now.  EJ/Nicole is all about her babyrabies and his unfortunate hair and cluelessness to her baby deception.  Philip/Stephanie are all about Melanie and boringness.  Chex is just too stupid for words and a return to UncleFucking which worked so well with Stax.  Sami/Rafe is actually a whole new level of boring that I don’t even have words for; I think I slip into a coma every time they’re on screen.  So Dan/Chloe really are it as far as new pairings go.  It’s just unfortunate that Higley went the way she did with them.  I could understand her cheating on Lucas (who wouldn’t?) but her falling for a guy that groped her in an exam room just drives me insane.  Kudos to Higley for ruining yet another potential pairing, at this point she’ll have nothing left to do but have blood relatives hook up.  You know it’s her next step!  Viva la romance!

Day's worst crime by far, ruining the hotness that is EJ with this hair.

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Keeping My Resolution & Blogging Days

So, I made a promise a week ago and I intend to keep it even though I don’t have a whole lot to say with the show being about as exciting as a trip to the dentist lately.  Actually, a trip to the dentist is more exciting because I hate the dentist and get nervous and my heart rate speeds up.  Days leaves me entirely cold right now, so it doesn’t even deserve the dentist comparison.

I guess we’ve had some storyline progression lately, albeit nothing good.  EJ & Nicole got engaged, which was actually rather cute and sweet for a brief moment in time.  Of course, it was delayed by Nicole gallivanting off to meet Dr. Puffy to threaten him into giving her a baby.  Somehow that managed to spoil the romance of the moment for me.  I’m not sure why that is?  Cause god knows that lying about still being pregnant and running around town frantically trying to find a baby are part of the foundation for a good relationship.  The kind that lasts til the end of time!

Did anybody NOT see it coming that preggers girl would demand that Nicole bring her fiancee forward?  And that Nicole would pressure Brady into pretending to be said fiancee?  Higley, your twists and turns are about as twisty and turny as a ruler.  GAH.

In other couples news, Lucas and Chloe are moving full speed ahead toward a Valentine’s day wedding.  What could possibly stop this meant to be couple from tying the knot and being together for all time?  Certainly not Chloe’s fantasies about Dr. Perv!  The galling thing is that I could actually root for Chloe/Dan if they hadn’t had the groping in the exam room.  I certainly don’t care about Chloe/Lucas in any way and Dan/Kate I just supported to get away from Chan, so I would have been fine if the couple hadn’t come about so skeevily.  But the breast grope coupled with the fact that she is engaged to his girlfriend’s (or ex-girlfriend now) son just sickens me.  And then showing the grope approximately 957 times didn’t help matters.  Now they’ve got the Chloe in a red babydoll teddy thing to flash back to daily instead, but they already killed any potential hotness for me.

Dr. Dan was able to interrupt his prurient fantasies to save Theo today at least.  Really, how did Salem even function before he was around?  The man has saved half the town at this point and he’s supposed to be some kind of specialist but instead he does it all.  Does Kayla spend her days filing her nails and reading?  Ooops, I forgot, Kayla doesn’t exist.  Anyway, Dan did some kind of brain surgery (of course) to relieve the pressure on Theo’s brain.  Meanwhile we got to witness more hysterics from Lexie.  Why was she yelling at her father anyway?  He didn’t do anything wrong, she was busy yelling at him when her son wandered off.  I’m sick of her acting like such a martyr.  Either get her DiMera on or get the hell out.

We nearly had a sex scene this week, that was not Chloe related (seriously, they all seem to be right now) but cooler heads prevailed.  Philip and Stephanie were all set to have a good time when Philip decided that they were rushing things.  Rushing?  They had their first kiss a week ago, isn’t it about time to go to bed?  Not that I would have minded if they had.  It was nice to see shirtless Philip again, I was afraid that Rafe dude had stipulations in his contract that he was the only one allowed to be shirtless.

Speaking of Rafe, he got some sort of infection because of his stab wound getting infected.  You know, that wound he got and instead of reporting he went back to the loft to let Sami sow him up.  Yes, this is the kind of intelligence and loyalty that I want any Fed protecting me to have.  Ugh.  Of course it was just another excuse for him to be shirtless and for Sami to get closer to him.  No, I still don’t see any chemistry, how am I supposed to when she’s like 8 months pregnant?

Besides, today I was knocked out by the anvil of EJ informing Lucas that he’d set Sami free, which what the hell, they weren’t even together anyway, but I think the writers forgot that.  And Lucas got all huffy and asked why he would care.  Cut to Chloe talking on her cell chatting with Nicole but probably fantasizing about the Magical Surfing Penis again.  Lucas also sarcastically threw out EJ being the love of Sami’s life, so I don’t know if I should fear a reemergence of the EJamicus triangle or if instead fear a Safecus triangle with a side of Ejoledy.  Or maybe they’ll all combine and we’ll get some male on male hook ups.  I’d honestly rather that than a return to any of the triangles mentioned above.  I hate triangles.

Are you aware that John/Marlena will be off this show in approximately 2 weeks?  You wouldn’t know it by the fact that they’ve all but disappeared from our screens again.  I mean, it’s pretty well known that they’re going to get married before they head off to the sunset, so shouldn’t they have a little bit of screen time to reestablish their relationship?  Or will they get married a la Tony & Anna, off screen, and then leave town?

The last thing I want to discuss is Chex…Chelsea and Max had a passionate (well it was supposed to be, stomach churning is more accurate in this viewer’s experience) kiss on New Year’s and it looks like they talk about it tomorrow.  Joy!  What made Higley think that going back to more uncle/niece action would be acceptable to the viewing public?  The reason people hated Stax was because of this, yet she’s revisiting it with a different niece?  Doesn’t change the equation, which MathMasterMax should be able to tell you.  But she didn’t consult the Maxematician, she’s just going to force another chemless pairing upon us, because who wants couples that are hot and make sense?  Not a Days viewer, that’s for sure!

I think that about covers the things on my mind.  I’m sure Terry will pop by to point out that I didn’t discuss his precious Melanie, but I figure since she’s busy appearing in every single storyline going about now, or will soon be doing so, I don’t need to give her any more attention than necessary.  Sorry Terry.  I’ll be back next week to discuss more of the same!

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New Year’s Blog Resolutions

I’m ripping this idea off from my friend Tripp who talked about what you could expect from her in the upcoming year.  I figured that was a pretty good idea, especially with new shows checking in and some things I write about checking out (football, sob!), so I’m borrowing the idea for myself.  This is also my 100th blog, so it seems a good time to talk about the year ahead and look back at what I’ve already done.  Momentous occasion!

First up, I’ll be blogging weekly on Lost when it checks in.  Lost is my FAVORITE show so I am very very excited for it’s return on Jan 21st.  I, again, will not pretend to be a better TV watcher than I am, I’ll write what I liked and what I didn’t and hypothesize a little for you, but if you’re looking for someone who will be able to lay out the myth arc hit someone way more intelligent than I could ever hope to be.

Okay, embarrassing admission time, there is one reality show that I watch and one reality show that I write about.  American Idol, back in a couple weeks.  I don’t know if I should be embarrassed about this but I’ve been writing about it for a couple years now on myspace and I figure I’ll bring the action over here as well.  I doubt I’ll start this one until they get to Hollywood though, my patience for the loser contestants wears out quickly and I figure they don’t need any more attention from me than an eye roll.  We’ll see though.  New judge may inspire me to write something, who can say?

Friday Night Lights will check back in and I’ll be thrilled to write about that one.  There are few shows that I love as much as FNL.  Family drama and football, what more could you ask for?  Oh, and some hotness…they have that too.  I have managed to stay relatively unspoiled on this show despite the fact that DirectTV aired all the episodes already, so it’ll be fun to experience them with fresh eyes.  I actually stay unspoiled on all shows but Days, I need to mentally prepare myself on that one.

I’ll continue my NFL coverage through the Super Bowl, then have a little time out until April when I will live blog the first round of the draft.  This will be another first for me, but I figure I watch the whole thing so why not catalog it for ya’ll?  I’ll also have to play along with the Favre retirement watch no doubt, my disgust in that will boil over and I’ll have to say something.  Hell, I’ll say it now, he’s coming back people, he can’t stand NOT being in the spotlight.

Baseball will come back in April and I may write about it some, but it’s really hard to get too interested early in the season.  I imagine if the name Barroid Bonds gets invoked I will feel the need to write about that, but I think he might really stay gone and that will keep me relatively happy.  I have no idea what to expect from my team this year, probably nothing good, and that will drive my interest in the season; it’s not like football where I can talk about all teams.

I’m not sure what new TV shows I might take up, I plan on watching Dollhouse for sure but whether it’s worthy of writing about remains to be seen.  Trying new TV shows in this day and age is just asking for pain, so I’m gonna try not to get too attached.  You just get too hurt when they disappear in a year or two.  Farewell Dirty Sexy Money, miss you Moonlight, sorry to see you go Jericho.  You get the idea, I get nothing but disappointed generally.  It’s why I resisted Heroes and didn’t start watching til the 2nd season.

I will, of course, continue to write about Days until it finally takes its dying breath, which could be soon the way things are going.  I figure if you guys are toughing it out, I will too, despite the pointless plots and terrible writing.  I need to have a bitter blog here and there and Days seems to provide more than enough fodder for that!

I will continue to write about Heroes and Supernatural weekly as well try to write more about other shows I love like Bones, I really do need to add that one in.  I think I’ll be doing a whole lot of writing from the sound of it!  Maybe I’ll be less rambly than usual, that might help!

I think that’s about it, if anybody has any suggestions of things they’d like to see me address, feel free to leave a comment and tell me to get my butt in gear!  I am willing to consider writing about movies as well; after football season is over I tend to see a lot more flicks, so we’ll see if anything is worthy there.  So, I look forward to the new year, hope everyone has a happy one and I hope you all come back to see what I do in the year ahead.  Doing this blog for the last 6 months has been a lot of fun and one of my joys.  Does this make me sad?  I don’t know, but there you go!  See you soon!

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Dark Days Ahead

Since this will probably be my last Days post of the year, unless something major occurs that final week, I thought I’d take a look at the storylines we have going on and a little bit about what’s coming up, though I’m not quite the spoiler whore I used to be, so I don’t know a lot.  However, it’s not very hard to project is it?

Regular readers may be surprised to hear me say this, but from what I’ve read on the John/Marlena leaving front, I am rather irritated at their send off.  Yep, you read that right.  I’m not gonna pretend to be sorry that they’re going, but you’re talking about a legacy couple that’s been on screen for 20 some years, on and off, so why did I read that their exit is going to be facilitated by the new psychiatrist?  Something along the lines of them uniting to help her deal with her issues.  The hell?  Don’t they have enough issues of their own to deal with without adding on some extras for some character that the audience doesn’t give a damn about?  I loved Amanda Cory as much as the next gal and I wouldn’t mind if NuShrink stays but I really don’t think that John and Marlena’s final story should be about her, do you?  Hell, you could have Stefano have a come to Jesus moment and descramble John’s brain and it would make more sense than this!  John could have fallen off Bo’s rickety ladder and become psychic…whatever.  I may not be a J&M fan but if I was one I would be royally pissed at that kind of send off.  Their exit should be filled with fun cheesy flashbacks, big hair and raised eyebrows and a chorus of gasps.  This long time viewer will accept nothing less.  Of course I’m going to get it, this is Higley we’re talking about.

Since I mentioned Bo’s fall from his ladder…why not go there?  Was this some long lost James Reilly storyline that was lying around and they decided to incorporate it in tribute after his death?  Why is Bo hearing the fakest kid cry I’ve ever heard?  At first I assumed that he was hearing Theo’s big surprise present, which is some moronic baby doll.  That doesn’t seem to be the case though, it looks like someone is going to be in peril.  I haven’t read up about this one, I’m just assuming.  If Bo is gonna be a psychic, can’t he use his powers for good?  Maybe he could envision one of Kate’s horrible future ensembles and go burn it before she can wear it.  He could foresee a Sami screech and stop that in it’s tracks.  He could see Melanie plotting to go after Philip and issue a preemptive strike by having Philip arrested and thrown in jail for his own safety.  Most importantly, he could envision Dr. Dan fondling his next defenseless patient and go give him a beat down from hell.  If we’re gonna go for camp, Higley, just go for it for god’s sake.

Speaking of Dr. Dan….really Higley?  Is this your idea of kicking off a possible romance?  Patient breast fondling (shout out to Paxton!)?  I have seen some sick shit in my day but very little has turned my stomach the way that scene went down.  It was foul.  Throw in the fact that the girl he was fondling was donating her bone marrow to save the woman he’s dating and it becomes downright reprehensible.  And, even worse than that, we’ve not seen that scene just the one time, it’s been flashed back to almost every damn day since it happened, a couple times it was multiple times in the same episode.  Cause god forbid we not see Dr. Dan getting all hot and bothered remembering his groping, we have to see Chloe getting worked up about it.  What is wrong with that woman?  How could she find that shit remotely attractive?  She should be filing a complaint with Chief of Staff Dr. Johnson (though that would require them to remember that Kayla is the Chief and give her a scene, which would be unacceptable, silly me!)  I really don’t have the words to express the amount of disgust I feel for this storyline.  I’m glad sexual harrassment is hot to Higley, that and elevators.  God forbid she ever get stuck in one with some innocent bystander.

Moving on, how about that hot triangle between Stephanie, Philip and Melanie?  What’s that you say?  It’s not remotely hot in any way?  But Higley assures us that it is.  She knows romance people!  See breast fondling for exhibit A!  Seriously, I can deal with Philip/Stephanie.  It’s far better for me than Phloe and Stax, so I can support them coming together.  I think they have some chemistry.  It’s not light the world on fire hot, but it’s decent and given time it could get interesting.  I like the workplace aspect to it, because it’s nice that someone in Salem is working.   But there’s no point in getting interested, is there?  Because it’s clear as day that this story isn’t about Philip/Stephanie.  It’s about Melanie (like all things must be).  If you weren’t brained by the anvil the other day when Philip said he’d much rather get his hand mangled in a garbage disposal than be with Melanie, well, check your head anyway, maybe you missed it.  Philip hiring Melanie to work at his office made no sense whatsoever…her stalking him and Stephanie around town isn’t funny or remotely good soap.  Now she occasionally gets great lines, “Tis the season, bitch” might be the best thing I’ve heard in months on this show, but still, everything does NOT have to be about her.  And Philip should NOT be interested in an 18 year old wannabe vixen.  I was one of the people who initially liked Melanie but when the show became all about her and she was sneering her way through every scene it got to be enough.  Stop the madness, Higley, let Philip have his brain back.

The baby triangle continues to excite me down to the tips of my toes.  Or is that athlete’s foot?  More likely than to find this crap remotely interesting.  Safe in the safe house?  I don’t think so.  I get that Higley is trying to recreate Roman/Marlena here but it’s not working.  The chemistry isn’t there, for one, the acting isn’t there, for another, and the story just sucks anyway.  Rafe gets stabbed by the killer and goes back to the safe house without reporting it?  Why not set up a sting, since he knows the killer knows who he is now.  Lead him to the wrong place and catch him?  This makes entirely too much sense doesn’t it?  I don’t know what I’m thinking.  They could have at least let Hilda know what was going on.  She’s the only one in the whole mess that I remotely like at this point.  Oh, and if I see Rafe shirtless one more time before I see more EJ skin or Philip?  I will throw a shoe at my TV.  That guy has been shirtless more than both of the pretties combined in the last year or two and I find that ridiculous.  Blasphemy Dena.  Be in fear.

The EJole baby situation is just filling me with dread.  We all know where it’s going, I’ve said it here for a couple months now.  Nicole will get Sami’s baby, that Sami ridiculously will put up for adoption through that stupid convent.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see this one coming.  I guess I should be happy that EJ’s going to get to be part of his kids life, even if it’s not the same mother.  So stupid.  Really, it wears me out just thinking about it.  All the characters have been ruined in this storyline, even my beloved EJ, so I hope Higley is happy.  Nicole was the one character that she actually made more interesting, but she fouled that up too by making her a needy wimp.  Sigh.

I think that’s all the big stuff coming up, I’m not talking about Chelea/Max because they are absolutely worth not one minute of my time.  I don’t know how Days ratings keep going up with the shit we’re being shovelled, but since I’m still here watching I guess I can’t cast stones upon the newbies that are checking it out.  I just hope they’re not liking it either.  I’ll be back in the new year with new and old bitches I’m sure.  Til then, get your Horton Christmas ball out and get it on your tree.  Have a great holiday!

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Fictional Bad Boys & This Weirdo Who Loves Them

While being unable to sleep on a Sunday morning, my mind turned to my most recent obsessions (what else is there to do when you’re tossing and turning?) and I had an epiphany about myself.  When it comes to TV, movies and books, I’m a sucker for bad boys.  In my real life, I think I got over this phase after high school, but when it comes to fiction, badder is better.  So I thought I’d take a look at the characters I’ve grown to love and try to work through my issues here with you.  The first two characters on this list are not really bad boys by any means, but they have some bad boy traits that make them qualify.  Plus I just wanna talk about them and this is my blog, so there!

Edward Cullen, from photobucket

Edward Cullen, vampire from the Twilight Series. Edward is most certainly not a bad boy, he’s actually very heroic but he is a vampire with obsessive qualities and the burning desire to kill the girl he loves.  This is not exactly the type of guy that I’d bring home to mom and dad if you know what I mean.  He fights the monster in his nature and of course is triumphant, but with his super strength and desire for blood, he’s a little on the scary side.  Not to mention the fact that he’s an obsessed stalker who sneaks into his future girlfriend’s bedroom to watch her sleep at night.  I love Edward and Bella’s story but even I know that it’s a sick twisted love.  I just happen to be  fan of that!  I’m not hot for Edward but I wouldn’t mind having a slightly older version of him for myself (yeah he’s over 100 in regular years, but physically he’s stuck at 17 and that’s just a bit much for me).

Dean

Dean Winchester, Supernatural. Dean is also far more of a hero than he is a bad boy, but he does have some of the qualities that make a girl wonder why she’d want to get involved.  Dean is a player, never risking his heart and extremely emotionally unavailable.  In a recent episode, Sam told Dean he was a dick, which got some Dean fangirls up in arms but I actually stopped to ponder that and realized that he was right.  Dean can be a dick, he’s extremely sarcastic and he’s prone to use intimidation to get what he wants.  Again, I have no problem with any of these things, I find them extremely hot.  But if a parent had the choice of Dean or Sam to pick for their daughter, my guess is they’d lean to Sammy, demon blood or not.  Sam has no commitment issues at any rate, it’s just that the girls he commits to always die. hehe  Still I’d take Dean any day!

Logan, my psychotic jackass and first tv boyfriend.

Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars. The first time you see Logan, it is with a Veronica voiceover saying that every school has their obligatory psychotic jackass and he was it.  Watching him, he just looks like your stereotypical rich boy asshole and in the first few episodes that’s exactly how he acts.  Over time you learn that he has been abused by his father all his life, which makes some of his jerkery understandable, but he goes beyond just being a dick.  He arranges bum fights, he buys Weevil’s grandmother’s house and threatens to evict her (to be fair, Weevil did burn down his house, retribution you know), he sleeps with his friend’s stepmother…there’s plenty more but that’ll suffice to start.  It doesn’t matter though, I fell for Logan just as hard as Veronica did, though of course she was unable to admit it to herself.  He may not have been a good guy but really all he wanted was someone to love.  He captured my heart somewhere around episode 12 or so and kept it despite being overly emo in season 3.  Hell, I named my pet after him, so that should tell you just how much I adored him.

Sawyer, Lost. Ahhh now we’re entering more into the real bad boy arena.  Sawyer is a con man, an opportunist and a killer.  Being on the island has softened his edges some, but he’s still pretty much all about #1 (unless he’s helping Kate).  Season 1 Sawyer was hilarious to watch,  taking everything he could and holding on to it until he could barter for other things.  This past season saw Sawyer kill Locke’s father, the man who had caused the death of his mother and father.  This was understandable of course, but it’s not act a girl hopes to have her future lover pull either.

Eko

Mr. Eko, Lost. I know he’s been gone two seasons but he might have been my favorite Lost character this side of the next guy on this list.  Sawyer killed one guy while Eko killed tons of them as a drug lord in Africa.  He brought badass to a whole new level.  On the island he was silent and brooding but spiritual and interesting at the same time.  He could kick ass with no effort at all and I’m still not over his death.  The actor asked to be released from the show but I still hate that he’s gone.  Can you imagine the Losties fighting the Others with Eko on their side?  Maybe that’s why it’s okay he’s gone, cause I wouldn’t doubt the Losties would win if Eko was still there.

Ben, master manipulator

Benjamin Linus, Lost. While I’m not hot for Ben like I am for most of the characters on this list, I may find him the most fascinating of all.  He’s a master manipulator who manages to intimidate despite being smaller in stature than most of the male characters on the show.  He bends almost everyone to his will and always seems to be a step or ten ahead of everyone else.  The one rare time his plan went awry and his daughter Alex got killed right before his eyes, I got chills watching his face and waiting for the fallout.  I light up when Ben appears on the screen, I can’t help myself.  I’m just anxious to see what he’ll do next.  I’ll start Lost blogging when the show picks up and you’ll see just how much I adore this character.

EJ, once so bad, always so beautiful.

EJ DiMera, Days of Our Lives. EJ is sadly the one character who has devolved from awesome into a shadow of himself, but I still am able to love him thanks to memories of the old EJ.  That and the hotness.  I’m easy that way.  The EJ I love was a manipulator, a killer, a blackmailer/rapist…good times.  Ok, he was once a little too dark even for me but he wore it well.  One of his hottest moments was when he took off his belt and whipped Patrick with it.  If you’d have told me that I would ever find something that hot I would have laughed at you, but there you go.  Current EJ is just a shell of a man but it’s memories of the real EJ that keep me hoping he’ll resurface and start ruling Salem once again.

The Basshole himself

Chuck Bass, Gossip Girl. Chuck is a character similar to Logan in that I pegged him for a gigantic jackass in the first episode but he won me over a few episodes in.  He starts the show wanting to devirginize a 15 year old Jenny Humphrey and coming off as a potential rapist.  In typical form, I got over it.  Chuck is a major player, I couldn’t tell you how many girls he’s slept with at this point and we’re only in season 2.  His main goal seems to be to prove to his father that he’s a real man and he can run the business but he constantly winds up disappointing him.  Now that Dad is dead, Chuck’s entering a self destructive spiral that could go anywhere.   Chuck’s in love with Blair and vice versa but neither of them are willing to admit it and he figures if they do and get together they’ll lose the appeal they have for one another, so why bother?  It’s another twisted relationship that I can’t get enough of.

Sylar, my most twisted

Sylar, Heroes. Speaking of twisted, we come to probably the most twisted of them all.  I’ve always been a Peter Petrelli girl (particularly future darker Peter) but this season Sylar has overtaken him for my heart.  The first couple of seasons I didn’t really feel for Sylar, mainly because all we saw of him was just his desire to attain new powers and to kill.  That didn’t appeal to me, but this season we’ve seen the side of him that craves approval, that wants a family and that actually wanted to be better.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want Sylar to be better, per se, not after the last episode made me love him, but I want him to be more complex than just some killer.  And that’s what he’s become.  His quest to find his family is going to be interesting to watch and probably make me like him all the more.

Well that’s my list of the fictional bad boys I’ve loved and will continue to do so long after their shows have disappeared.  What do you think?  Do you have the same bad boy jones that I do?  Who else would you add?  I’m sure I’m missing plenty but this was long enough without me reaching any further.  I’m dying to hear responses on this one, so let me know if you think I’m insane or if you’re just as nuts about some of these guys as I am.

Oversight addition: I forgot to include Dexter Morgan of Dexter. He’s a serial killer who kills bad guys and I really enjoy watching him struggle to maintain a normal fascade in everyday life.  He belonged here so I had to add him, my bad!

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The Best of Days, The Worst of Days

Two of Days lone bright spots; from NBC.com

It’s that time of year, when all the best of and worst of lists make their appearances and we look back upon the highlights and lowlights of the season.  It’s going to be difficult to come up with best of’s when we discuss Days, but I’ll give it my best shot.  Feel free to weigh in with your own choices or even more categories if I miss anything.  When it comes to Days, my brain kind of goes into lock down, so I’m sure I’ll miss a bunch.

Best Actor: James Scott (EJ DiMera)  Although EJ has been wishy washy much of the year, JS continues to make him watchable, no matter what tragic crap they have him doing.

Worst Actor: Darin Brooks (Max Brady)  There are worse actors on the show, but not in a leading category.  Max is one of the more pointless characters yet he’s been given tons to do and fails at it every time.  RageMax was a joke, Max in love is boring, emoMax just makes me want to cut a bitch…DB does nothing to make the character likable or viable in any way.

Best Actress: Ari Zuker (Nicole Walker)  If you had told me a year ago that I would want AZ front and center on the show I would have laughed my ass off.  I loathed Nicole the first time around, but this time AZ has made her to be the most interesting character we have on the show these days.  Whether she’s scheming or crying she is always watchable.  I can say that about very few characters on the show these days.

Worst Actress: Alison Sweeney (Sami Brady)  Nothing could pain me more than to give this award to AS…I loved her as Sami for years but the past couple of years have diminished her character to the point of no almost no return.  She’s either screaming or crying, her wants make no sense, she acts like a 5 year old…she’s just painful.

Best Supporting Actor: Blake Berris (Nick Fallon)  Also the winner of Most Overlooked Actor.  When given the screen time, BB shone like almost no other.  He always made Nick interesting and likable, even when he was acting psychotic and gaslighting a girl into thinking that she killed her father.  It figures that Days would let one of its best and brightest go.

Worst Supporting Actor: Josh Taylor (Roman Brady)  I seriously cannot stand watching this guy on my screen anymore.  He’s TERRIBLE.  Wooden and pointless!  I’m sad every time I think about the awesome that Roman Brady once was with the nothing that he is today.  The show should do us all a favor and kill him off.

Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Melvin (Chelsea Brady)  Now, I’ve had major issues with the character of Chelsea this year, but RM continues to take whatever they crap they give her and work it as well as possible.  I didn’t appreciate the actresses blatant attempts to push the Chan pairing in the media, but she doesn’t disappoint when she’s on air.

Worst Supporting Actress: Nadia Bjorlin (Chloe Lane)  There are times when she’s somewhat tolerable, but NB is clearly the worst actress on canvas right now.  She’s far too monotone and the only time she really shines is when she’s being bitchy.  Make her that way full time and she won’t stay on this list.

Best New Character: Trent Robbins, played by Roscoe Born.  Though he was given little to do, RB had a great freaky vibe whenever he was threatening Max or fighting with Melanie or interacting with Nicole and Nick.  Another talent that Days foolishly let go too soon.

Worst New Character: Dr. Daniel Jonas, played by Shawn Christian.  Let’s take a quick look at the year of Dr. Dan, shall we?  Came between the best young couple on the show, hooked up with a girl that was young enough to be his daughter, slept with said girl’s grandmother, got in a relationship with her, currently skeeving all over another woman while his current girlfriend is undergoing cancer treatment.  Isn’t he a prince?  Throw in the fact that he falls for every single female patient in his path, his surftalk and his overly tanned body and messed up hair and he’s a hell of a mess.

Most Underused Character: tie between Steve & Kayla Johnson.  You would think that having an 80’s supercouple back on the show would be fodder for tons of storylines, but instead S&K are reduced to propping their daughter and pushing a doll around in a stroller.  Pathetic use of two stellar actors.

Most Overused Character: tie between Sami Brady & Melanie Layton.  Even AS’ real life pregnancy hasn’t diminished Sami’s airtime, instead we get Sami’s adventures in witness protection.  One of the most boring stories we’ve had all year.  Kudos.  Melanie actually impressed me when she came on but 4 straight months of her screeching and using people have made the character a lot more intolerable.

Best Exits: Won’t officially happen til 2009, but Drake Hogestyn and Dierdre Hall get this one.  The lack of a well written storyline for the two of them makes them easy to part with, on top of getting rid of two of the biggest overactors ever to grace the screen.  I liked nuJohn for awhile this year but he quickly became too one note and played out, Marlena was never worth my time or interest.

Worst Exits: Paul Hollingsworth & Nick Fallon:  Already addressed Nick, but Paul also was a ridiculous end.  He went to jail for Philip and John and that’s the end of that.  Linden Ashby was a great actor and ultra hot and I’m quite irritated that he appeared at all.

Best Stunt Casting: The Vitali’s, Ava & her father, Tamara Braun and Joe Penney.  JP was only around for a couple of weeks but he was very intimidating when he was on.  I’d rather have kept him than a lot of the characters we remain stuck with.  TB was good as Ava, she had a lot of shit to work with but she held her own against MBE and SN and made John watchable.

Worst Stunt Casting: Shirley Jones as Colleen Brady.  It’s not that she did a bad job, it’s just that the storyline was so stupid and the main actors that should have been involved, James Scott and Alison Sweeney, weren’t.  Plus she only had about 5 episodes and then she died.  She named Marlena the pillar of strength, something which I will never forgive.

Best Use of a Passions Actor: Eric Martsoff as Brady Black.  He’s very vanilla but still somehow likable.

Worst Use of a Passions Actor: After a promising start, Galen Gehring as Rafe has devolved into a one-note world of suck, possibly because he’s stuck with Sami 99% of the time.  I won’t judge too harshly yet but he’s not impressing me right now.

Best Moment: Headslam!  John bashed Marlena into the door and knocked her out when he was going to kill Colleen.

Worst Moment: Lord, there are tons probably but for me, it was Marlena’s portrait going up in place of Stefano’s.  That felt like blasphemy of the highest order.  Honorable mention goes to every Chan makeout scene, Philip’s sex fantasy of Melanie and all of Sami’s ugly cries.

Best storyline: And here we have a problem.  I’ll go with the plane crash on the island, it involved a lot of characters and gave us some angst.  The problem was that it was super rushed, over in about 2 days time.  I would have milked that awhile had I been writing, but of course, I am not.  I’m just here to bitch.

Worst storyline: All the rest? haha  The dueling pregnancies are right up there at the top, along with John becoming a DiMera and the resultant Dock Wars, Steve’s past with Ava, Max the secret genius and Chan.

Best Dropped Storyline: Chan, derailed before it could ever get really fully started.

Worst Dropped Storyline: DiWar…John and Stefano going head to head for the DiMera fortune, combined with Tony and EJ playing both sides should have been an epic showcase of some of the best talent this show has to offer but instead it fizzled with John giving up control without a shot fired.  Terrible disappointment.

Best Couple: Bo & Hope  They had early in the year to shine, during Bo’s pancreas story, even though that was more about the worst couple than the best couple.   S&K qualify but they’ve not been around.

Worst Couple: Chelsea & Daniel.  Nothing says loving like making out with a guy that looks like your dad.  This was the most ill-advised pairing this show has ever done (though they’re sure to try to top themselves in 2009).  Honorable mention to Max and Stephanie, kissing cousins, or, uh, kissing uncle and niece, though not by blood!

Best New Couple soon to be ruined: EJ/Nicole.  Like EJ/Sami were supposed to be, EJ/Nicole should be ruling Salem.  Kicking ass and taking no prisoners.  They have the chemistry to last but the writing is going to doom them like they do all the others.

Worst New Couple: Chloe/Lucas  They’re anti-chemistry and boring.  They’re the Stax of the older group.  They’re rushed and pointless.

Worst Writer:  Dena Higley….I know she’s pretty much the only writer this year but it had to be said anyway.

Worst Producer:  Ken Corday. His tinkering with the show and the writing and the cast has left us with an unholy mess.

Well that’s a lot of best and worsts for now, if I think of anymore, I’ll be sure to add them.  If you think of any, be sure to let me know and I’ll address anything I missed.  I can’t wait to hear what you all think!

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