Archive for December, 2009

Chapter 26 is up at ff.net.  It’ll be up here shortly.  Here’s a link:


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Fanfiction is being royal fail right now but I think my chapter is finally uploaded.  Here’s a link.


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I Miss Dean

Even though Supernatural has displeased me a few times this season, I am still missing me some Dean Winchester.  Or Jensen Ackles.  Whatever.  And I know you are too.  So I am posting this gift for you and for me.

There are not nearly enough shirtless and sorta pantsless Jensen pics out there.

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Week 15 NFL Picks

Whoo hoo!  See, I can be timely.  Got it in 2 hours before the Thursday night game, which I had stopped acknowledging.  Hey, I figure if the NFL won’t allow me to see the game, why should I bless it with my picks?  If a game happens in a television vacuum, does it count?  DT Award...hmmm.  Kurt Warner.  2 picks and I think 3 fumbles on Monday Night Football against an erratic 49ers team?  Unacceptable, especially a week after schooling the Vikings.  What a strange team.  Remind me of my schizo Noles.  Kurt Warner, Douchetard.

Indy over Jax:  Jacksonville sold out a game!  Who knew that could happen?  Of course everyone is going to see if Indy can go to 14-0, but a full stadium is a full stadium, no?  Need I repeat my motto?  I know the Colts are apt to pull all their starters at halftime but I still don’t think Jax will beat them.  They usually play them tough but the Colts usually pull it off anyway.

New Orleans over Dallas:  A month ago this would have looked like the elitest of the elite games but Dallas is in it’s usual December swoon so it loses some luster.  I don’t think Dallas has the athletes to keep up with NO.  Man that feels weird to type but there you go.  NO has had a couple of near misses but they keep on winning, no reason to think they won’t here and they’ll be up for this one.

New England over Buffalo:  My Pats are a shell of themselves but they should still win against the Bills.  Should I weigh in on the Moss situation?  I think he was upset over the stuff earlier in the week and it came out in the game.  I don’t see that happening this week, the coach and Brady won’t allow it.

Arizona over Detroit:  Hmmm…Zona vs. a team they should beat handily.  Sounds familiar doesn’t it?  However, this is Detroit.  And Warner will be upset at his new Douchetard status and want to make me look the fool by throwing 5 TDs.  Bring it, Kurt, I’m betting on it!

Miami over Tennessee:  I honestly have no idea.  Miami has something to play for, Tenn really doesn’t.   I think Young got hurt too…I have no idea if he’s actually out and I’m too lazy to look it up.  Should be a low scoring game either way.

KC over Cleveland:  Holy Suck Bowl Batman!  Good lord, there have been some atrocious match ups this season but this might take the cake.  Does anybody want to watch it?  Anyone?  Why can’t this be the Thursday night game so we can pretend it didn’t happen?

Houston over St. Louis:  Alright, Texans, you and I have had a very rocky relationship.  Lately, we’ve been on the same page much to my utter surprise, but I’d really like it if you would defy me here.  Please crap the bed against the Rams.  Let them have a pity win.  Put Andre Johnson on the wrong plane or something.  This is all about the draft, baby, and the Rams need a win so my Bucs can get Suh.  I will dub thee my third favorite team if you do this for me.  Hell, you can have second favorite over the Bucs until they get good again (if that ever happens).

NY Jets over Atlanta:  The battle of the back ups.  Or is Sanchez back?  Does it matter?  I don’t know.  Is Ryan?  Yeah, maybe I should actually do a little research before I make my picks but lets be honest, you’re not reading me for insider knowledge.  Sarcasm and bitchery, that’s what you expect from me.  I’m happy to provide it too.  WTF, Miley Cyrus is again playing at an NFL stadium, granted 2 hours before the game but still, that shit should be outlawed.

Philly over San Fran:  Philly’s rolling right now although they did lose to a subpar Oakland team a few weeks ago.  I think they’ve got that out of their system though.  Though I kind of hate Philly due to their many run-ins with the Bucs until we won the Super Bowl in 2002 (YAY), I’ll always love McNabb and he looks like he’s having fun out there right now.  SF’s offense can’t keep up with Philly’s.

Baltimore over Chicago:  Chicago is out of the playoff hunt, Balt is not.  I don’t think anyway.  They put something like 48 last week against Detroit.  Yes, Detroit but Chicago honestly isn’t a very good team.  And Cutler vs. that secondary?  Yeah, Ed Reed is scoring a defensive TD tonight.  At least one.  Hee.  Love you Paxton.

Denver over Oakland:  Charlie Frye baby!  Is that how you spell his name?  Whatever, he’s the starting QB for Oakland.  I’ve heard of him and think he might have been on Cleveland at one point.  Yep, Cleveland, team of no quarterbacks worth a shit let him go.  That’s not a good sign.  Not remotely.  Bruce Gradkowski is injured, which I’m not going to cry over because he’s actually won a couple of games which makes him better than my crappy team that let him go.  Yay again.  Jamarcus…there are no words for the fact that Charlie Frye is starting ahead of the #1 pick in the draft.  Enjoy the Canadian League next year.

San Diego over Cincy:  I’d have made this pick easily without the news about Chris Henry today…I hesitate now because the Bengals will rally around his memory and play their hearts out.  I don’t know if it’s enough, they got rolled by Minny and SD is just as powerful.  I finally am a believer.  RIP Chris Henry, it sucks that you seemed to be getting it together and something happened and now you’re gone.

Pittsburgh over Green Bay:  I don’t know why I’m still picking Pitt, I guess I just believe that Tomlin scared the living shit out of his players this week and they’ll rise up and get it done.  I don’t know, call me stupid.  Call me stubborn.  This just feels like the type of game they’ll rise up and win and GB will give away.  Dunno.  We’ll see.

Seattle over Tampa:  I am frightened that the Bucs will pull a win out of their asses and solidify their #2 status in the draft.  Why should they ever do what I want them to do?  They have been royally horrific the last few weeks after a couple of decent games.  Freeman is throwing more completions to the other team and they’re doing nothing at all on offense.  The D actually looks marginally better but that’s like saying having syphilis is better than having herpes because it’s treatable.  It still ain’t good.  (where the hell did that analogy come from?  Sorry!)

Minnesota over Carolina:  Minny bounced back nicely after their Zona loss and there’s no reason to think they’ll falter against the lowly Panthers, who are playing with a lame duck coach just waiting for Bill Cowher to land in town.

NY Giants over Washington:  Well, I’ll give the Giants credit, they hung with Philly but they still lost.  And gave up 45 points.  That’s some scary ass defense they’re running there.  Fortunately for them, the Skins are not capable of putting up more than 20 pts.  Enjoy the weekend off, Giants.

That’s it, I think this blog was less inflammatory than the last one, right?  I don’t know what rage I had when I was writing that but I really don’t feel ragey today.  Hopefully not!  Enjoy the games, catch ya next week for Xmas games!  Have a great holiday peeps!

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Week 14 NFL Picks

Yep, slacker.  I know, I’m sorry, I won’t make assurances again. hehe I’ll try to do better but Xmas approaches.  You know how it is. DT last week?  Tampa’s own Josh Freeman for throwing 5 picks in a very winnable game.  Welcome to the club Josh!

New Orleans over Atlanta:  Hmm Drew Brees vs. Chris Redman?  However do I decide?  The Saints got lucky last week, they won’t need to this week.

Green Bay over Chicago:  Losing to Tampa really lit a fire under the Packers didn’t it?  I expect Jay Cutler to have a Delhommesque day, again, some more.

Indy over Denver:  This could be where Indy suffers a misstep but I have seen way too many games wherein Peyton Manning owned Denver so I’m not going against him.  Plus, in Manning I trust.  Always.

KC over Buffalo:  Self serving pick time.  I want Tampa to get the #1 pick so I can have a Boy named Suh on my team so I need the other losers to step up and get a win or two.  Go Chiefs!

Minn over Cin:  Okay, that’s cool.  Rhymes and everything.  Was last week’s Favre an aberration or has the real Favre returned?  This should be a hell of a game, looking at Minn to rebound but would not be remotely surprised to be wrong.

New England over Carolina:  I have no words for the Patriots these days.  They should have, what, at least 3 more wins than they do?  That defense is crap, Tom’s distracted by knitting baby booties and Moss is getting bored.  Not a good combo.  Still, they’re playing the Panthers.  Nuff said.

Jets over Tampa:  Doesn’t matter who is QBing the Jets, it just doesn’t.  Tampa will probably dick me over and win this week when I picked them last week because they hate me.  My own team.  But they need to lay down for Suh.  Do it for the defense!

Miami over Jacksonville:  Did you know that Jax is in the playoff race?  Really?  They’re mediocre at best but they keep winning against crap teams so they’re still alive.  Miami is another weird team but I think that somehow they’re better than Jax.

Baltimore over Detroit:  Excuse me while I take a nap through this game.  Who cares?

Houston over Seattle:  Again, who cares?  Both of these teams are underachievers, again.  Andre Johnson still rocks though.

Tennessee over St. Louis:  Man, why can’t Tenn still suck?  The Rams are in direct competition for that #1 slot and they might blow more than Tampa.  Come on, Vince, have an awful game for me, okay?

Washington over Oakland:  Oakland…Bruce Gradkowski…WTF?  A castoff Bucs QB and he’s managing to win.  In Oakland.  It cannot continue.  Wash should have won last week so maybe they’ll make up for it here.  Maybe.  Probably not though.

Dallas over San Diego:  Okay, Chargers, here’s where you prove it.  Show me you’re not soft by beating a real team and I will become a believer (til you hit the playoffs!)  I’d love to see Dallas continue it’s December swoon but right now I’m picking them to defeat it.  We’ll see.

Philly over NY Giants:  Okay, the Giants finally got off the schnide last week but I don’t see them doing it again.  Philly hammered Atlanta and no, still not going to cheer on Vick, thank you.  Hopefully he got his one and done.  The Giants are still pretty beat up, don’t see them winning a tough game two weeks in a row.

Arizona over SF:  Wow, what a game last week.  They finally looked like last year’s SB team and demolished a good team while doing it.  My Boldin was awesome!  They just might make some noise again if they can keep it up.

So there you have it, this week’s picks.  I must say that Pittsburgh’s fall from grace has been rather stunning this year but if I hear one more person question whether Tomlin has lost the team or is on the hot seat I will cut a bitch.  His team won the Super Bowl last year…if he were to get fired a year later?  That would be dumb.  And the Rooney’s are not dumb.  Stop being moronic sports fans and remotely mentioning that idea.  But I’d be thrilled if it happened, he could come back to Tampa and whip their asses into shape.  Fine by me!

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Chapter 24 is up at ff.net.


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I started a new “story” which is actually just outtakes from my current story over on ff.net.  My first outtake chapter is up there, here’s a link if you’ve been following.


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