Archive for June, 2008

So Days has been running a new promo, all about how it’s “hot” at summertime and in Salem, because the couples are going to be burning up the screen.  Some of the couples are making something burn alright, my eyes.  I don’t really need to discuss that one couple you know I’m referring to (Chan sucks!), but instead will focus on the new and old couples gracing the screen this summer.

I’ll start with Stax, who’ve been together for awhile now.  At the start, I was really quite ok with the two of them getting together.  I had hated her first boyfriend, Jeremy, up until about the time he left, when I liked him but it was too late.  Max was initially a likeable guy, and while I liked him with Morgan, I wasn’t that upset about him and Stephanie.  I would have preferred that they stayed with a non uncle fucking pairing, but again, they don’t bother me to the level that most of the rest of the younguns pairings do.

That being said, a summer of Stax chasing down the Maxematician’s other identity does not really interest me.  The only thing in this storyline keeping me interested is the Nicole/Trent dynamic.  AZ & RB are riveting together and I’m wanting to know more about their past relationship.  If the storyline goes where I expect it to go, it could be a bit of a let down, but still, the two actors will keep me into it.

Another young couple in the making appear to be Philip and Morgan, known as Phorgan on the message boards.  This couple has been the anti-Chan, brought along somewhat slowly (for daytime tv these days anyway).  They started off adversarial right away, with Morgan displaying a sassy attitude that you could see Philip was a bit intrigued by.  There was some verbal jousting over her father and the dock wars with John, a game of darts in which Morgan pinned Philip’s shirt to the board and then more of a move toward friendship.  Morgan planted a kiss on Philip at the docks after her father said goodbye to her, when she was feeling very alone.  Now, the writers have made a misstep with having her trust Philip rather quickly after the initial anger and distrust, but on Friday she was back to challenging Philip with his reason for hanging out with her, wanting to know where her father was and what he was up to.  I don’t want her made naive in this relationship, I want her to be somewhat suspicious of his motives.

That being said, it’d be great to have one of those types of relationships, where the couple is drawn to one another but perhaps shouldn’t be.  You know, kind of like EJami would have been in the hands of competent writers.  I know a lot of people don’t like Phorgan and are wanting Phloe, but I didn’t watch Days as much back during the teen years and I don’t care for NB as an actress, so I far prefer Phorgan.  We’ll see…I’m cautiously optimistic about this pairing.  They’re definitely the one I’m most interested in, with the options we currently have. (I know you hate them, sorry Paxton!)

Next, we have EJole.  This one pains me, it really does.  Not because I hate EJ or Nicole, quite the contrary, but still, even though I know better, even though the execution has sucked, I still long for EJami.  Or what could have been.  But that seems to not be happening, at least for now, so I’m stuck with EJole.  I like the two of them as a concept, I like the two of them as friends.  I like anything that is going to get James Scott naked on my screen, so I’m on board, even though I don’t see these two as a solid relationship.  They could have the friends with benefits that Phloe have been doing and I’d be totally fine with that.  I don’t care for them seemingly making Nicole fall for EJ, I really think she’s going to get hurt in the long run and I don’t support that. 

EJole has come about from a working relationship, he’s her lawyer and is securing her divorce from Victor and getting her a hefty settlement.  They’ve bonded and become friends, spilled a few secrets, blackmailed one another, all good stuff.  There is definitely some decent sexual tension there, but how could there not be?  Have you seen EJ?  (Honestly, every time Lucas shouts at Sami about how she could be with EJ, I just wish she’d bust out with that, HAVE YOU SEEN HIM??? EJ=HOT  Alas…the writers do not do what I wish ever, so there you go.)

With all this decent base, I couldn’t really tell you why I don’t want them to become an actual couple.  Part of it is my desire for EJami and another part of it is that I don’t see them really going anywhere.  With EJami you have the whole DiMera/Brady history goldmine to pull from, with EJole there’s none of that built in conflict there.  Plus I just tend to like Nicole best when she’s going after something, when she gets it, she tends to get boring.  I was watching during her pairing with Brady and it was fun when she was dicking with Chloe, but once she actually had him she bored me and I hated her.  I don’t want that again, because I actually adore Nicole these days.  Of course, the same could be said about Sami I guess, so what do I know?  I can’t work out why I feel the way I do.  I’m on board with them temporarily, but I don’t want them to be endgame.  I think JS did too good of a job selling me on EJ’s longing for his Samanthar and I can’t let it go.  I want what EJ wants.  It’s a sickness, I’m well aware.

Finally, we have Luloe, which is my nickname for Lucas/Chloe.  They are the most random of random pairings.  Stax of course, we have their family in common.  Phorgan we have her father and the dock wars.  EJole we have her divorce.  Luloe…we have…nothing.  Basically, Chloe has been screwing Lucas’ half brother, Philip, in a friends with benefits situation.  Lucas of course was in jail for shooting EJ, came home to find EJ in bed with his ex-wife, EJ’s current wife, Sami, who was supposed to be waiting for him even though he told her to move on.  There’s of course tons of stuff to write about Lumi/EJami and I’m just not going to do it.  Suffice it to say, Lucas was not happy to find EJami in bed and he obviously has not partaken in any sexual fun with Sami since he’s too busy being angry about her sleeping with EJ. 

So, one day Chloe comes to DiMansion, where Lucas is on house arrest, and approaches him about being friends and backing up one another.  She doesn’t like Philip’s interest in Morgan and his war with John and of course Lucas doesn’t like EJ living in his own families mansion and Sami having feelings for EJ.  Lucas sneered at the friendship idea but later he saw Chloe crying on the docks, presumably because she has no friends and everyone blames her for Brady getting hooked on drugs (which is just stupid, but whatever).  Lucas should not have seen her crying on the docks, but he bought some tool off the internet (isn’t it a wonderful place?) and is able to take the thing off so he sneaks out now and then.  Seeing her cry, Lucas called and told her not to be sad and they could be friends.  Chloe is not one of Salem’s resident geniuses so it took her a bit to put together the fact that Lucas knew she was crying when he shouldn’t have.  She went over to talk to him again and he admitted he can get out and now that they’re buddies, she needs to keep it a secret.  She was fine with that.  Lucas went to her place to get her to go to the cops to inform them that Paul Hollingsworth (father of Morgan) was down on the docks and set the warehouse fire.  Lucas can’t tell them, because he’s on house arrest.  So she’s told the cops what Lucas saw and that’s where we stand at the moment.

This would be fine, albeit very random the way they became allies.  But this week, spoiler ahead, they’re going to get trapped during a blackout and end up having sex in an elevator, as are EJole.  It seems like the writers just threw names in a hat and said, ok, they’re going to be a couple, how do we work this out, and then they proceed to write a lame story.  Chloe, I believe, has had sex with exactly 2 men, so she’s not the type to just randomly screw a guy.  I’m sure I’ll have more to write later this week about the dual elevator sex scenes, but right now I find it to be very strange and out of character on her part.  As for Lucas, I dunno, he’s had no sex for ages since he’s been in prison (unless he bonded with Carmine of course) so I guess when trapped alone with a living barbie doll, you’d be tempted.  I’m not bothered by the idea of it, but it’s just not well developed, I guess that’s what I’m saying.

So it appears that Sami will be manless, which is kind of a good thing after the way she’s been acting.  It looks like she’ll be pissed about both guys getting it on with other women, which is just annoying and very much something like her mother or sister would do.  I still hold out hope that they will repair her character and make her more interesting and likeable again.

Also out in the cold is Nick, who has nobody.  I’m holding out hope that they’ll bring someone on for him soon.  We’ll see.

You may have noticed that I did not include Chan, except for a couple of sarcastic references.  Well, that’s because this blog is about YOUNG Salem, Dr. Moondoggie Howser (TM someone cool on TWoP) does not qualify.  Hee!

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So it occurred to me that it’s time that I addressed the storyline that is eating Salem; Max Brady, hidden genius.  I guess I had best start with Max as he’s been presented on the show.  He was adopted when he was around 5, the Brady’s took him and Frankie in.  Max was off canvas for around twenty years and then he reappeared as a famous race car driver.  He was presented as quite the player, which never really seemed to fit with his looks/personality but whatever.

He then stopped racing, I don’t remember if there was ever a reason why, and opened a garage.  Then he got involved in Jeremy’s Touch The Sky Airlines, which was actually funding some kind of hooker operation.  I could give you a more detailed explanation than that had I been paying more attention, but it was a stupid storyline full of crappy acting from Marcus Patrick.  If you didn’t see it, be glad.  If you did, I’m sorry.

For some reason or other, the garage was closed, I think cause he lost all his money in the Touch The Sky fiasco, so he ended up working at the Brady pub and the Cheatin’ Heart tending bar.   During this time, he’s been involved romantically first with Chelsea, then briefly Morgan, and primarily and currently Stephanie. 

Stax, as we call them, are Salem’s young twu wuv couple.  There are a few issues in protest of Stax, namely that Max is an adopted Brady and Stephanie is a birth Brady, daughter of Kayla.  So, essentially, we have uncle fucking.  It’s been brought up on screen exactly two times and I guess the writers feel that’s enough.

Anyhow, Max has been established, first as this player, but ultimately as this blue collar Brady boy…a hard working everyman if you will.  However, the last couple of months his personality has evolved from a rather affable, jovial type to this moody prick who’s constantly screaming at his girlfriend and treating people like shit.  He started this mood transformation about the time that Nick was working on his grant proposal.  Max got a look at it and apparently in a 2 second glance was able to tell that the calculations were wrong.  So he took it upon himself to change it in an attempt to help Nick get his grant.  Nick started getting praised for his good work and Max started wallowing in self pity.  He seemed to want the attention Nick was getting, but every time Stephanie tried to get him to admit that he’d helped, he refused and got more surly.

In recent weeks, he’s been even worse, yelling at both Nick and Stephanie when confronted with making the changes, picking fights with his supervisor at the docks, raging at a guy who wouldn’t cover for him at the pub, etc.  We have recently come to find out (well I knew awhile ago, because I am a spoiler whore) that his real father is in town and is the new Dean of Physics at Salem U.  Nick is working closely with him and he’s supporting the grant project.  So Max comes by his mad math skills genetically, and he’s none to happy about them.  He apparently doesn’t want to be anything like his “real” father and would rather be an “everyman” like Pop Brady.  As he so kindly told Nick, he doesn’t want to be a “geek” or different, not that there’s anything wrong with that of course.

Now Max has confronted his father for ruining his life and trashed his room searching for god knows what.  He found a picture and he’s all curious and demanding to know who the girl is.  Today he told Caroline Brady about his dad being in town and his secret genius is no longer a secret since Nick, Stephanie, Steve, Kayla and Caroline all know. 

Some of these scenes have been well done, but I’m truly tired of the man of many moods.  I know that Stax and the girl in the photo are going to be a major summer story and I’m just saying that I hope Max picks a persona and sticks with it.  I’m tired of the yelling and crying, I get enough of that with Lucas and Sami, I don’t need extra.  I can deal with Stax…they are boring but they’re fine together, they don’t incite my rage like Chan does.  But please, can we please have Max calm the hell down and stop acting like being smart is the worst thing that ever happened to him?  Go back to niece fucking if it’ll at least bring a smile to his face.   Enough already!

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My friend, Tripp, and I were having a discussion yesterday about what would happen if Days fires Higley (which could happen) and GH fires Guza (which is unlikely to happen but SHOULD happen) and Days hired Guza (because God hates me).  She told me I should blog on the possiblities and I thought that was a cool plan, so here I go.

The one good thing that could come of it would be that Jarlena would probably be shuffled off to the veteran’s closet that Guza uses over GH, where he has Bobbie and the Q’s and Lesley and the like.  They occasionally escape and get to speak to one of the characters that is allowed lines on the show, but for the most part, they fail to exist in the mind of the Guze.  Unfortunately, Bope and S&K would probably get the same treatment.

So let’s look at how the characters would shake out.

I think EJ would be Jason, maybe I do this because James Scott is a god, but I can see Guza having a hard on for him and making him the shining star (I would not complain).  I don’t think he’d be a mob minion, he’d definitely be a kingpin, but so is Jason right now so that comparison works well enough.

Philip would sadly have to be Sonny, but since Guza doesn’t think Sonny is an ineffectual ass, he’d probably think this was a compliment.  I think JKJ could rock the brooding thing Sonny does, but I’d hate to see him throwing barware and insulting wimmin’s all day long.

And who would be our heroine, Carly?  It would have to be Sami, who unfortunately is turning into a glittery queen on Days anyway.  She’d be the one that all guys loved and who was soulmates, as Laura Wright puts it on those SoapNet commercials, with Jason.

This would make Lucas Day’s version of Jax, which is really irksome to type, but I use it as he’s in love with Carly who loves him back but also loves Jason and Sonny more.  I don’t see BD doing well in the Jax role, he’s too snarky, but he fits into this slot so we’re stuck with it.

And who gets to be the most craptastic character in daytime, Lulu?  That would be Chelsea, who again, inexplicably has random dudes find her hot and fall in love with her, thinks everything is about her and does a fantastic bitchface when she doesn’t get her way.  Now I’m not saying Chelsea is anywhere near as foul as Lulu at this point in the game, but the Chan romance is bringing her into an intolerable territory.  Guza would shove her all the way in.

Now, what to do with Daniel?  I’m not going to insult Jason Thompson by making Daniel into the Patrick character, because SC does not have the charm to make that work.  There are some similarities that Guze could use, the player type, flirtatious personality, the doctor thing of course.  And the Chan romance is actually on par with Scrubs in that they have the same damn conversation every single day, so they have that in common.  But Patrick is hot and likeable and Daniel just is neither of those things, so I won’t bother giving him a bigtime character, he can be some random doctor that is killed off in a mob hit intended for EJ.  Bye Daniel.

Nick is of course Spinelli, loveable geek who doesn’t get the attention from girls that he should.  At least Nick has gotten the girl, while Spinelli keeps getting shafted aside for hotter guys.

Max is Johnny, broody and moody and a wannabe tough guy.  I like Johnny much better than Max, but personality wise it works.

Stephanie would be Emily I think.  Pretty bland, nice girl, everyone loves her, good shining in her eyes, that kinda thing.  I was gonna use Georgie (another dead girl) but I think Em’s more in line with Steph’s personality.

Maxie would be played by Nicole.  She’s Salem’s truth teller.  Again, I like Maxie a tad better than Nicole but I could see Nicole in the same type of situations as Maxie is, taking money to steal Lulu’s boyfriend?  Right up Nic’s alley.

Jarlena would probably demand to be a Luke/Tracy type of couple, tho they couldn’t begin to hope to pull that off.  It’s probably an insult to Tony Geary and Jane Elliott that I said that, but Tony can content himself with yet another undeserved daytime Emmy (sorry he had a shitty storyline this year).

Bope could be Alan & Monica Q, prekilling, without the philandering and whatnot.

A returned Stefano could be Edward Q, although Victor would fit the bill here as well.

Who have I forgotten? Chloe?  Um…oh she’s Sam.  She’s got that bimbette thing going on that KeMo does so well on GH.  I don’t have a Lucky, although Shawn D would have been him were he still on the show.  He even wanted to be a slightly dim cop. 

I’ve left out Nic, I don’t think Days has anyone that fits the bill there though.  Philip would have been a possibility were he not already my Sonny, so we can either kill off Sonny or leave of Nic. I also couldn’t come up with another older couple for S&K, cause GH doesn’t believe in older couples.  Maybe Alexis for Kayla.  Steve could be…hmmm Jerry minus the killer part?  Who am I kidding, Guze would make him a psycho killer anyway.

Anyway, that’s how I imagine Days if Guza came over and brought in his special brand of suck. I was able to improve things by killing off Daniel in a mob war, but that’s about the only good thing that could happen.  I hope by throwing this into the blogosphere, it will serve to make it a non-possibility.

Back in a day or two with a blog on Max, it’s time I addressed Salem’s resident genius.

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I’d like to preface this by saying that I do not expect reality from soap operas.  Hell, I’m a Days of Our Lives fan, characters routinely come back from the dead, are possessed by Satan, visit death row and have Lexie for a doctor, so my soap might be the most unrealistic of them all.  I accept that, I snark on it, and a lot of times I even enjoy it.  So keep that in mind when I comment on the most unrealistic “dating” I think I’ve ever seen on the show.

Let’s define what a date is, shall we?  To me, a date is boy meets girl, boy & girl talk and flirt a little, boy or girl ask the other out (we’re equal opportunity here, don’t ya know?)  Some 18 years later, I remember my first date to this day.  We’ll take a tangent and describe that so we can compare with the relationship that is Chan first.  I was 15 and my best friend, Anne, had begun dating Charley.  We met Charley and Eddie and John at the mall during one of what was probably several thousand times we went to the mall to hang.  Anne hooked up with Charley, me with Eddie and John with our friend MK.  John and MK went nowhere, me and Eddie went to a couple kisses and one back seat makeout session (not that day by the way) and Anne & Charley became boyfriend and girlfriend.  One day Charley brought Chad to the mall with him (yes, it was the mall) and we met up there and went to Burger King.  Chad & I busted on one another, flirted some and he put one of those BK crowns on my head.  A week or so later MK had a party and Chad & Charley came.  Chad & I had begun talking on the phone and we took a walk together, held hands and kissed for the first time.  He then asked me if we could go out the following week.  I said yes, but of course had to get parental approval first, which I got.

So the big day comes and Chad could not yet drive (was 16 but late taking his driver’s license test) so his friend whose name escapes me drove out with him to get me.  We went with a big group of people to TGI Friday’s, where being as girly as I possibly could I didn’t want to eat much so I ordered a side order of fries.  Then we went to some go kart track and I did that once but spent the rest of the time watching Chad and wearing his satin wrestling jacket (awww).  On the ride home we pretty much made out the whole way and even found our song, “Without You” by Motley Crue.  He walked me to the door, more kisses and the night was over. 

From there he declared me his girlfriend, which I wasn’t arguing with, and we dated for a year.  He was all my major firsts, which are probably a story for another time.  I was just using this dating example to establish what my view of a first date is, how it transpires.  Because hold on to your hats, boys and girls, we’re coming up on an honest to goodness real Chan date!!!  I’m sooooo excited!  If you’ve read me before, you know that’s sarcasm.  If you haven’t, welcome to the real snark.

Let’s discuss how Chan’s first date has come about.  Dr. Douchiel came riding into town on his winged surfboard and saved the life of Bo, Chelsea’s dad, by using a piece of her pancreas in a rare transplant.  Chelsea pretty much immediately started fantasizing about having Daniel’s tongue shoved down her throat, while he was busy flirting with every woman in Salem and calling them all “hot”.  Swept away by the romance aren’t ya?  Chelsea, meanwhile, was not feeling very good but kept hiding it for some asinine reason, because I mean, if you feel sick shortly after having an operation, you totally SHOULD NOT talk to the doc about it or tell anybody.  So she faints, but fortunately Dr. Tanningbed was on hand to catch her and carry her to the hospital.  She had an infection from his surgery and she now can’t have kids.  How sad.  (You know she’ll have 5 or so by the time her child bearing years are over).  Chelsea kept making comments about liking Daniel and he remained either oblivious or disinterested depending on your viewpoint.

Then one day, he tells Lexie that he can no longer be Chelsea’s doctor because he has personal feelings for her.  Who to the what now?  The guy had shown NOTHING for her up to that point, but all of a sudden he was too overcome with emotion for her to be able to effectively doctor her.  Chels got all upset that he didn’t want to be her doc anymore but at the hint that Daniel might want her, she let that go and started going after him full barrel.  She has told many people in town that she’s in love with the guy, which, you know, is totally how you should feel about some guy that you barely know and have only spent a few hours or so with.  Many horrific kissing incidents and chantasies later and we arrive at today, when Daniel OH SO ROMANTICALLY asked Chelsea out. 

It was such an anticlimactic scene after Daniel’s scene with Kate, which was a total WTF for the viewers.  He’s alone with Kate after she announces that she doesn’t want him to be her doctor.  He gets all up in her face and asks why and she tells him he knows why and he says she’ll have to be the one to tell Chelsea.  The optimist in me wants to believe that Kate is the woman he’s been hooking up with and he made up the married part, but the pessimist in me knows it’s nothing and will probably be dropped and never brought up again.  What up Higley?  Great writing!  Anyhow, as I was pondering if they would really go there with Date (much better portmonteau than Chan or Dansea, which is just really stupid), Daniel marches up to Chelsea and asks if she can do him a favor.  She’s wondering what favor and he asks if she’ll have dinner with him tomorrow night.  The end.  Wow, that was exciting, I mean, that was a heartfelt episode in the twu wuv that was Chan if ever there was one.

I’m really, really hoping that Kate has been after her granddaughter’s “love” all this time.  I will eternally love Kate if that’s what she’s doing, and let me tell you, had I started this blog a year or two ago, I would probably have written epic poems of hatred for Kate.  I am still not a fan, though I hate her less than I used to.  But I have hope.  It’s stupid and pointless of me to do so, but there it is.

Anyway, I got sidetracked by the Kate situation, but in summation:

Every day dating: boy & girl meet, flirt & talk, one asks the other out, relationship progresses or doesn’t.

Chan dating: man & girl meet, girl immediately falls into lust with man, girl immediately turns lust into love, man seems immune to girl, man suddenly has feelings for girl, girl tells man that she loves him, man does double take, man has weird conversation with girl’s grandmother, asks girl out.  I’m surprised they don’t have a couple kids before their first date, but I guess the writers wanted to give that a little time. 

You just gotta love Salem, where even dating can’t mirror reality.

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You know, by writing about this I am probably challenging the monkey’s paw to give us an even more vomit-inducing scene between Chelsea & Daniel, but I just felt the need to express my hatred of this pairing and bust on Daniel for a bit.  I knew I wouldn’t be able to go long without bringing out the I hate Daniel blog, but at least it’s appropriate on a day like today.

I start with the horror of the Chantasy today.  First, we had facial inhalation, which I am sorry, is not remotely hot.  Seriously, those two could have stood next to Jarlena and had a suckoff and given them a run for their money.  (Yeah I said suckoff, hehe).  Next, Chelsea boosts herself up and wraps her toothpick legs around his waist.  I suppose this was to show how hot they were together but all it showed me was how friggin tiny she is and how stupid they look together. Bluto and Olive Oyl were not a good looking pair and neither are Chan.  Third, he carries her to the couch and lays on top of her.  Thankfully this is when Victor, who is now my personal hero, walked in and interrupted his granddaughter’s prurient thoughts.

The fantasy ended there, but the “love story” which is Chan continued with Chelsea then begging her grandfather to get her a job at the hospital.  No, she doesn’t want to work at his Titan offices, she wants to be in the hospital so she can continue stalking Dan.  You see, despite what she told Nick just hours before, she has not given up on him and she still think she’s in love with him.  So, Vic being Vic, he takes her to the hospital and of course asks Daniel to get her a job.  Meanwhile, Grandma Kate is there with stomach pains being tended to by Daniel, because he is the greatest doctor that ever doctored.  At this rate, the writers will sacrifice any and all members of Chelsea’s immediate family to throw Chan together.

Why do I have such a virulent hatred toward this coupling, you might wonder?  You might not, but I’m going to tell you anyway.  First, Dan is being played by a 42 year old who looks 42.  Chelsea is played by a 24 or 25 year old who could pass for 15 if she wanted to.  Seeing them together in a romantic way is just revolting to me and I feel like I’m watching a pedophile make his moves.  Second, Dr. Dan is a douche and a half.   He’s an ultra hip surfer who uses words like gnarly, world class, all that and a bag of chips and other verbal spew that is not acceptable for a 42 year old doctor.  Third, he likes to talk about surfing to anyone and everyone and looks like a moron when doing so.  I guess that makes him young enough for Chelsea, cause he talks like a 15 year old riding the waves.  Fourth, and perhaps the most egregious thing besides the age difference, is his character has been propped to high heaven.  He’s the smartest, most caring, most wonderful doctor that ever existed.  The writers even brought on some Australian woman to tell him he was an “angel” last week.  The last thing I’d like to complain about is the “insta-love” that he and Chelsea have.  Neither one know each other at all but they’re in love, altho he keeps pushing her away.  She’s got a savior complex and he’s got a hero complex and that does not make a vital and wonderful pairing, I’m sorry.

I liked Chelsea and Nick but I could have handled a real breakup for a real reason other than this insta-love with Dan.  I could have even dealt with a Chan pairing if they’d have cut out the surfer talk and cast a more age appropriate actor in the role.  Right now though they’re disgusting both visually and auditory and it won’t change.  End the Chan and try to resurrect both characters, Chelsea’s at least deserves it, she went a long way toward being redeemed when she was with Nick but she’s back to being unwatchable now, albeit for more than just being a bitch like she used to be. 

So those who have not watched Days today, be prepared for the Chantasy and do your best to get through.  I still have hope that this couple won’t see full fruition, but the Monkey’s Paw will probably let me have it for saying that.  Let’s hope not!

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The past couple of weeks, my beloved soap opera has been banging its viewers over the head with the need to save the environment and “go green”.  I’m all for saving the environment; I recycle, I buy those energy saving light bulbs and I bought some green plates just yesterday.  But soaps are about sex and scandal and drama and excitement.  Watching the denizens of Salem trump the joys of going green has been about as exciting as cleaning my fingernails. 

The “green movement” on Days began with the arrival of one terrible character named Daniel Jonas.  Daniel is a “world class” surgeon who specializes in pancreas transplants but apparently can solve every other medical malaise as well.  I hate him for myriad reasons, and many better ones than the green thing, but he is the one that started the movement.  He’s also a 42 year old and talks like a surfer and has the hots for a girl who could be his daughter, but that’s another blog for another day.  Anyway, Daniel made some hospital in Sweden green and then made Salem’s hospital green. 

Nick came along with his environmentally responsible engine, which I don’t have a problem with that.  (Tripp would hurt me if I did, Nick is her tv boyfriend).  That spun off into Max being a secret genius and being really pissed off about being a secret genius, which again, is another blog for another day.  We got to have a party for Nick celebrating his grant, at which his Aunt Maggie was lauded for her efforts to “green” her restaurant.  She’s selling energy back to the county and doing this and that to make the world a better place.  That was ok too, that was at the party about bettering the environment.  But this week, the Brady Pub went green too.  And I had to hear Hope call Bo “The Jolly Green Giant”.  And talk about how he’s going on the internet and finding ways to make their house green.  They sold the SUV, got a hybrid, blah blah blah.  This is not soap opera people, this is a public service announcement.My Current Pretend Husband

Do you know what I want on my soaps?  I want sex….hot, steamy sex.  I want James Scott & Jay Kenneth Johnson to be shirtless daily. (see him? perfection!)  I want pretty people doing glamorous things.  I want galas and murders and affairs and lies and secrets.  I do not want to learn how to sell energy back to the county and be environmentally responsible.  I know how to use the internet to find that out on my own thank you.  Get EJ naked and get him naked now.  That is all!

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What to say on my first ever blog on here.  I blog on myspace constantly, generally about American Idol.  But summer tv has struck and I’m bored out of my ever loving mind, so here I am starting a new blog in a new place.  My friend Shannon (what up Tripp?) has a blog on here and I love reading hers so here I am contributing to wordpress.  I hope you all like it, I hope you leave comments, good or bad, and I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

I guess the best thing to do is talk a little bit about what interests me.  I’m a huge football fan.  I am talking HUGE.  September through February my weekends are all about football.  Some people would thank that sad, but it’s what makes me happy, so there you go.  My main teams are the Tampa Bay Bucs, the Florida State Seminoles and the New England Patriots.  No, I’m not a front runner, it just worked out that way.  Tom Brady was my pretend husband for awhile, but I’m mostly over that phase.  He’s still hot though.  The Noles were my first football love, I went to FSU in 1993 when we won our first national title (am I responsible for that?  You be the judge! hee).  I adopted the Bucs in 1997 when they drafted my fave Nole, Warrick Dunn (also the year they first got into the playoffs. Again, I’m magic).  I adopted the Pats in 2000 when they drafted Tom, who I was hot for when he was playing at Michigan (3 titles later, what can I say?)  Of course I got robbed of 19-0, which crushed my soul, more for the fact that those 72 Dolphins get to act like asses for yet another year.  I’m mostly over it, but we’ll see how I bounce back in September.

I also like baseball and my team has been the St. Louis Cardinals since 1987.  That’s when my family moved to southern Illinois.  I took one look at Ozzie Smith doing backflips on the field and my 12 year old heart fell in love.  They’ve been my one and only baseball love since.  As an ardent Cardinal lover, I am an equally ardent Cub hater.  I know they’re on fire right now, but give em time.  I trust in their ability to choke it all away at the end!

Other than sports, my main blogging will be on television.  I’m not going to get up here and be all intellectual and offer wonderful new theories on Lost, which is my favorite show, but I’m just too lazy to look up all those philosophers and things.  Just know that I think it’s awesome and I will share opinions now and then on that one.  I’m also obviously big on Idol, which I mentioned blogging about on my myspace page.  We won’t get to that til January though.  I also watch Bones, How I Met Your Mother, Chuck, Gossip Girl, The Office, Supernatural, My Name Is Earl, The Simpsons…there are others but that’s plenty for now.  My soaps are Days of Our Lives and GH, tho I generally only have that one on in the background.

What else?  I have two cats, Logan and Lily, that are thus named after the tv show Veronica Mars.  Lily & LoganI still miss that show and am still not over its cancellation.  Oh well, what can you do?  I have a brother, Mike, living in Brandon, FL, parents living in Melbourne, FL.  My dad recently conquered Non Hodgkins Lymphoma, so I’m very thankful that they’re all well and all nearby.  Dad was in the Air Force for 23 years so I’ve lived all over the country.  I was actually born on Lodges Air Force Base in the Azore Islands, Portugal.  From there we went to Nebraska, Utah, California, Illinois, Virginia, back to Illinois, back to Nebaska and down to Florida.  I was pretty well used to moving every 3 years or so growing up, but I’ve been living in Tampa for 8 years now and I think I’ve found a home. 

Once I figure out how to add pictures and such to the blog and my main page I will do so.  I’m completely new to this, my myspace pages was completely set up by someone else with much more net knowledge than I possess.  I’m gonna learn though.   I think I’ve rambled enough for now.  Feel free to stop by and say hi, teach me how to do something, criticize me, whatever.  I’m looking forward to learning this new forum.  Til next time, see ya!

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