Vampire Dean is hotness.

So in the first 15 minutes of last night’s Supernatural I figured my blog (if I got to it, yes I am fail) would center on the Twilight thing but thankfully along came Sam to make me not care that much about the cheesiness of the Twi shots.  Sorry, SPN, I expect better than Robert and Kristen and sparkles and straight up dialog rips from you and you didn’t make me laugh but once or twice during the shots at Twi.  It’s all been done a billion times before and I thought you’d bring something fresh to it but you didn’t.  I guess some were amused, judging by Twitter, but I truly was let down.

Didn’t matter, though, because like most “funny” SPN episodes, you went beyond that and showed something important.  Now, everybody knew something was off with Sam but I don’t think anybody expected him to just stand by and actually fucking smile while his brother was being attacked by and then fed vamp blood.  Sam could have stopped it but he chose to sit back and let it happen, ostensibly to let Dean infiltrate the vamp nest and lead them to the alpha vamp.  I’ve pretty much disliked Sam since he called Dean weak about 450 times in season 4 but as of that moment he was officially dead to me.  I don’t care if he’s Satan in disguise, I hate that character and I wanted Dean to shoot him in the face last night after he asked if he had his back and Sam lied right to his face.

What I thought was interesting was that Samuel for once came off as possibly not being on the same page as Sam.  He called him out on the possibility of him letting Dean get vamped so that he could find out more information and Sam denied it but we all knew it was true.  He also denied knowing about the all too convenient never before heard of “cure” that Samuel claims he told him about.  If Samuel was on the same mission that Sam was, I think he would have been all for the vamp Dean plan.  But he seemed to actually maybe care about his grandson unlike his dick of a brother.  So, I’m interested to see where this divergence is and what is behind it.

I’m unsure about the “trip” that Dean went on in the vamp nest and I haven’t rewatched the episode where we last saw Raphael but it occurred to me that maybe he is behind all the “weird” monsters and the sudden “alpha” vamps and dijins and whatnot.  What if Raph is trying to keep the hunters busy while he wages war in heaven, so that Dean (let’s face it, he’s likely the one, again) can’t help Cas take him down?  There was a man in Dean’s trip and I couldn’t tell if it was Raph or not but that would be interesting.

And what if Sam is on said Team Raphael?  Say Satan’s still kicking in there or some other evil being…maybe he’s hopping on board to be the next leader of hell and really just wanted Dean to vamp out so he could find out what was up?  May be a stretch, may not.  I’m not sure.  We know Sam’s not Sam but we don’t know the whys or hows at this point.  I’m hoping next week gives a few answers.  Love that Dean goes to Bobby and Cas about Sam.  Cannot wait.

Also good, in my book, was the possible farewell to Lisa.  I’m not getting my hopes up for good but Dean scared her and she’s not taking his calls and stupid Ben got pushed (too bad it probably didn’t give him any personality back) so maybe she’ll do the right and normal thing and say goodbye.  We’ll see.  I’m hoping she’s gone for awhile.  Dean needs to concentrate on whatever is going on with Sam.

And just let me take a moment to celebrate how fucking hot Dean was as a vampire.  When he shoved Lisa against the wall and nearly kissed her….yum.  When he was in that nest killing vamps right and left….double yum.  When he was sitting there with his foot on the head of ugly vamp that changed…good God.  The only thing that sucked was the ugly teeth but thankfully we only saw those once or so. hehe I prefer no fangs or just the two pretty ones like the True Blood vamps rock.  Thank you.

GAH!

Jensen took me from those sexy highs to just utter heartbreak at the look on his face when he realized that Sam could have saved him and elected not to.  And then when Sam was a LYING LIAR THAT LIES right to his face.  Gah.  I look forward to punches being thrown next week.  I wish Dean could kill him but that would probably damage him too much.    Bobby should.  Thank you.

So, overall, good episode.  Twi stuff was too cheesy but the rest more than made up for it.  And there are two T’s in Pattinson, Sam.  I’ll take one of him and one of your brother and you can go rot in hell where you belong.  As my title says, Die Sammy, Die.

Read Full Post »

Sam’s Back, Or Is He?

Reunited and it feel so....wrong?

So, Supernatural is back and um….yeah.  Hours later and I still can’t decide exactly what I want to say about it.  This will be one of my shorter Supernatural blogs, hopefully, because I’m hoping to have a lot more to say when we’re not subjected to Daddy Dean the whole time.

Sounds funny to say that, since I’ve wanted Dean to have the family he always dreamed of, but it doesn’t fit him, at all.  That wasn’t MY Dean in this episode and I don’t think he’s happy.  He’s just settled.  It’s not like he was loudly proclaiming his love for Lisa when he was freaking out about her safety and that of her kid.  He was being “responsible” and “taking care of them” just like he did his real family all those years.  And he doesn’t want to leave them because he’s left them open to possible attack, not because he can’t live without them.   It just didn’t speak of the right world for Dean to me at all.

And we saw that when he heard the scream and immediately had to go check it out.  Hunting is who he is.  I often wish it wasn’t, but you can’t just thrust aside 30 years of living and training.   He is a hunter.  His family is not Lisa and Ben.  It’s Sam, Bobby and Cas.  I’ll get into the rest of those yahoos in a minute.  Dean made his family and his choice long ago.

Words cannot express how pissed off I was to find that Sam had been alive for a year and didn’t contact Dean.  I get it, I do.  Doesn’t mean it doesn’t piss me off and Dean shoulda/coulda been more pissed about it.  And BOBBY.  That killed me.  Again, I get it.  They wanted him to have a normal life but he can’t.  They of all people should know that.  Sam tried.  Bobby was married and his wife was killed.  So, their reasoning rang true but false at the same time.  I really don’t think the writing of this episode was up to par with what I’ve come to expect from this show.  Maybe that’s the problem.

Anyway, turns out that Dean was poisoned by a Jin and Sam knew he was going to come after Dean (how?  why?) and came and gave him some shot that Samuel made (again how?  why?) and revealed himself.  Oh, but not before the lights did their magical demon zappy thing while Dean thought he was seeing YED.  I’ll admit, seeing Azazel again had me saying WTF? but being kind of excited at the same time.  He was pretty awesome, as demons go.

Then Sam “proved” he was not a demon or shapeshifter by cutting himself with silver and drinking saltwater.  Well, that’s all fine and good, but that shit didn’t work on Lucifer either did it?  I really don’t think Sammy is Sammy.  And he was acting weird.  Harder, less caring, darker I guess.  Which, maybe Sam can attribute to his time in hell that he didn’t want to talk about, but I’m very, very suspicious.

And then he takes Dean to meet the Campbells, 3 cousins that they never knew about plus a somehow magically risen Samuel.  Look, I was all for seeing Grandpa again.  He was really awesome before Azazel took him over and killed him and stuff.  Now I’m not so thrilled.  Because I trust him even less than I do Sam.  I don’t remember the new characters names and I hope I don’t have to learn them.

Dean’s all WTF just like the entire audience was and he expressed the same disbelief I felt, only he went along with it while I was skeptical the whole time.  I guess cause he had to protect his new “family”.  Blah.  He did this by taking them to Bobby and finding out Bobby knew about Sam all along and again, not enough Dean anger for my liking.  I would have liked to see him throw a punch at one of them.  He’s been neutered.  I do not approve.

They return to the cousins and one of the cousins questions Dean’s expertise, but Dean points out that the Jin are not going to attack when outnumbered and they agree so they leave.  Dean sees the neighbors getting attacked and runs to help and gets Jinned again, falling into a pretty cool hallucination about YED killing Lisa and having Ben drink his blood.  I say it was cool because I really was hoping it happened so they would be gone.  No such luck, sadly.

Sam, meanwhile, battled the Jin using golf clubs and lamps and the like…so maybe he’s not superpowered.  I don’t know.  Grandpa came in and helped and sent Sammy off to give Dean a shot (why wasn’t Dean killed right away like his neighbor was?  Is he just made of stronger stuff?  Or is the writing really that fucking sloppy?).  And here was an eyebrow raiser.  Instead of killing the female Jin, they captured her and threw her in the van and took off without letting Sam and Dean know.  The purpose of this was not revealed, but it’s highly suspicious, just like all of the rest of it.

Sam assumed Dean would come with him now, but Dean decided to stay and be Mr. Mom in suburbia.  Old Sam would have been thrilled by this but New Sam tried to talk him into coming with him.  This was again, disturbing and un-Samlike.

It’s funny because I remember season 5 and having a lot of dislike for it, but rewatching the marathon yesterday, I liked it a bit better than I had originally.  And I bawled my eyes out during the finale again, even knowing how it ended.  So I was really looking forward to the new season and to say I was let down would be an understatement.  Maybe, as time goes and we start to find out what’s going on with Sammy and Samuel, I’ll find it a lot better.  But this was a shitty start to the final season and made me almost wish it’d just ended the way it did at the end of last year.  I’m going to keep an open mind though.

I’m hoping that Cas will be coming into the picture soon and maybe be able to shed light on this situation with Sam and Samuel.  He’s a high powered angel again, even higher than before I believe.  And I’d like to know what the hell happened with Adam/Michael as well.  Maybe the whole demonverse was thrown out of whack with the Lucifer/Michael thing and it will all make sense.  I don’t know.  Right now, not thrilled.  But damn it was good to see Dean again and it was uberhot.

Oh, and Dean?  She didn’t just want you because you were taken.  She wanted you because you were you.  Women did that before you had a stupid, irritating, pointless girlfriend, and they’ll want you after you get rid of her.  Trust.

Who wouldn't want that?

Read Full Post »

Super Disappointed

What’s that you say?  A blog?  By Nole?  Surely you jest!  Yeah, I know.  I finally got off my ass (or more accurately, sat on my ass) and am posting a mega-SPN blog.  I’ve missed blogging about 4 or 5 shows at this point and I’m not going to go back through and watch because most of them are not worth a second viewing.  Sad but true.  When do I ever say that about this show?  I don’t know if the finale or Jensen’s marriage left me more disappointed.  Let’s call it a tie, shall we?

I’ll start with the good.  The Real Dean returned.  I truly did love that episode, where Dean was going to give up and Cas called him out.  Those two were like lovers battling back and forth and ultimately having Cas beat the shit out of Dean.  Best pairing, ever.  I’m no slash fan but Dean and Cas have chem.  I cannot deny this.

I adored when Dean told Sam that he didn’t believe in him either.  It was the first time in a long time that I gasped out loud and felt like I took a punch in the gut at Sam’s expression.  Nothing could have wounded and cut him more.  And in the past, Sam would have screamed at Dean and run off.  This time?  Sam stood by Dean and told him he had faith in him and that’s what gave Dean the strength to dick over Zachariah and kill him (that rocked).

The boys visit to heaven was also fairly decent.  Loved seeing Ashe again and was sad that he didn’t know about Ellen and Jo.  Hopefully they found one another.  I found it interesting that Mary was there but John was not.  Sam’s heaven, though, was so sad, well for Dean anyway.  I think it was seeing that that helped strengthen his disbelief in his brother.

What else?  It was good to see Gabriel AKA the Trickster again and I loved him delivering his message via porno.  Really, the guy was awesome and I think they should find a way to bring him back.

Now, the finale…what the fuck do I say about it?  It was a hot mess from the get go.  It was clear the rings wouldn’t work when they did it in the first 10 minutes of the show.  So there was no suspense there when Devil Sammy told Dean it didn’t work.  Nor was there any surprise when Dean showed up at the cemetery, followed by Cas and Bobby.  I was happy for the Def Leppard soundtrack, because they were my fave band growing up.  Dean and I were made for one another….oops, sidetracked.

I did have a genuine OH NO moment when Cas exploded at the devil’s hand and then Bobby’s neck was broken.  I had always expected one of them to go but not both.  Of course, they didn’t really give us time to mourn them before they were back.

Was I happy that Sam got some redemption and was able to take down the devil?  Yes, for a moment or two.  I didn’t like that it was seeing the little army man that did it, really.  I wished Dean had been enough to get through to him although all his memories were of him and Dean…so I guess that’s okay.  It just…felt flat.  Sam hops in the hole with Michael/Adam and Cas is back and Dean is healed and Bobby’s alive.  What did we learn there?  What resounded?  Sam’s death?  Uh, no, the final scene fucked that up as well.

AND let me take a minute to talk about Chuck.  I was thrilled he was back, you may have figured out that I’m quite fond of the boy but WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK?  Chuck is GOD?  Really?  Has he always been God or did God just pop in after Sam and Dean and Cas took off?  Because if he was God the whole time, why didn’t the shark’s tooth necklace alert them?  Why didn’t Cas know?  And why did the archangel come to protect the prophet?  Does he do that for God too?  It sure as hell felt like they stuck that in without thinking about it and it pissed me right the hell off if I”m being honest.  Do I like the idea that God was really there the whole time, not only watching over them but writing out their story?  Sure, but it was sloppy fucking storytelling and I expect a lot more than that with this show.

And then, of course, we cut to Dean settling into family life with Lisa and her kid, which felt like a complete slap in the face.  That woman is NOT important to us, SPN.  She just isn’t.  If you want me to believe Dean is carrying a torch for an ex, bring back the girl from the stupid truck episode, who we know he not only dated for awhile but actually told his secrets to.  Lisa was a weekend fuck!  I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it, at all.  Is it wrong that I’m hoping demon/devil Sammy kills her promptly to start season 6?  Because I am.

And yes, there we have the big ending…Sam’s back.  Or demon version is.  Or he’s still the devil.  He’s evil, because the light went out in his presence and he’s watching his brother stare into his beer while Lisa putters around like the good little woman she is.  WTF?  Can the dev just waltz back out of hell that easily?  No seals required?  Where’s Michael then?   Is Cas going to come back to help Dean?  Will Dean ultimately have to kill Sam then?  I can deal with that, but this…I don’t know.  I didn’t like any of it.

Dean’s back to being defeated and going through the motions, Cas if off angeling and Bobby’s fighting the fight I assume.  Dean’s playing house with the wrong person and Sam’s hopefully going to rectify that (seriously, I will love him if he guts Lisa in the season premiere, all past transgressions forgiven).   There were some very good episodes in the 5th season but it was a huge letdown ultimately.  I wanted a 6th season, before, to get more Dean.  Now I want it to wipe out the shit that they spewed in the finale, not that I have faith on them improving anything anymore.  I hope they prove me wrong.  Bitterly disappointed.

Read Full Post »

Dark Side of the Moon

Sorry I didn’t post on Supernatural last week.  That episode didn’t do a lot for me personally, although I did feel sorry for Bobby, yet again.  I’ve pretty much prepared myself for his death this season so there weren’t any real surprises.  What did surprise me was the lack of follow up from the last episode that we got to see.  You know, the one where Sam was all hopped up on demon blood again and Dean’s soul was crushed?  Did Sam just get all better and we have nothing to worry about yet again?  WTF?  That annoyed me so I didn’t blog it.

This week though..damn you show.  How fucking low do you have to drag Dean before you actually lift him up again?  I cried, again, at the utter misery that is his existence and the desolate hopelessness that he feels.  And now Cas is along for that ride!  Just…damn it.  That’s really all I can say about it.

We opened with two hunters waking Sam & Dean and blowing Sam away rather quickly.  One wanted to spare Dean but the other pointed out that having a pissed off Dean Winchester on their asses probably wasn’t a good idea.  Dean backed that up as well and told him to shoot him.  We all know Dean doesn’t want to live without Sam, we’ve seen it a billion times before.  This time, they got to die together.

And of course, though they may have been together, their heavens were miles apart.  Dean’s best memories, his heaven, was shooting off fireworks with Sam and getting the crust cut off his bread by his mother.  Sam’s were having his first Thanksgiving with a real family and the time he ran away (leaving Dean to wallow in guilt and the wrath of John) and the day he left to go to college.

Watching Dean realize that was just a gut punch to end all gut punches.  And Sam tried to apologize, to remind him that it was the two of them against the world, but all Dean could see was that Sam was happiest away from him.  Sam got to see that Dean was happiest with his family and that even at the ridiculous age of 3 or 4 he was still playing the peacemaker and trying to make everything right for his mother.  What an incredible character he is.  I wish more people recognized that, truly I do.

Dean, as always, soldiered on to find Joshua.  Josh is the only angel that God bothers to keep in touch with apparently.  Of course, Zachariah was in his element having the boys in heaven and was chasing them all over the place but they did have a little help from their friends.

I loved that we got to see Ash and Pamela again.  Loved it.  And I love that Ash’s idea of heaven was his life on earth, more or less.  I was rather sad that he didn’t know about Jo and Ellen but hopefully he’ll be able to find them and hook up.  He hasn’t found John and Mary either which I find rather interesting.  Maybe they’ll turn up elsewhere, huh?

Zachariah was a raging douche, as usual, but he is so very good at it.  My heart was crushed again when Mary got the yellow eyes and told Dean that she was happy to be rid of him and that even hell was better than being his mother.  Jensen was so beautiful in that moment.  I cried, again.  Then of course the boys got to watch Zach get touchy feely with their mother.  That was disgusting, to say the least.

And as if that all weren’t enough, Joshua shows up and takes the boys to the garden (Cleveland Botanical Garden, HA) and tells that that God wants them to stop looking for him and he’s just not interested in saving the world.  He’s just gonna hang out for awhile and let the war rage and that’s about it.  He didn’t want to hear a word they had to say and Joshua told them he was sorry and he was rooting for them and sent them back with their memories in tact.

It seems our boys died more than the times we’re aware of, because the way Zach and Joshua talked about it they’d been up there plenty of times but had their minds wiped.  I’m glad we didn’t have to see all that because I’ve seen enough of Dean dying to last me a lifetime.

Once back in their bloody bodies, Dean immediately reached for the phone and Cas was on the scene.  And there was another soul completely crushed.  Cas tried to hold on to the vein hope that Joshua was lying but Sam assured him that he wasn’t.  Then, heartbreak some more, Cas looked at the sky, said I believed in you, and gave the amulet back to Dean, the one that would lead them to God.  Before the boys could say anything, he vanished.

As if that wasn’t soul crushing enough, Dean took the amulet and held it over the trashcan for a minute before dropping it while Sam watched in disbelief.  It’s interesting that the God side of the equation, Dean and Cas, are so disheartened while the Lucifer side, Sam, still has some hope.  I’m not sure what that means exactly, though I do believe Dean will eventually find his will to fight again.  He has to.  It’s what he does.

But damned if I don’t understand why he’s ready to just say fuck it.  After all, it’s what God seems to have done.  And God was the only thing that Dean was holding onto anymore.  To the point that he was actually begging him for help.  And then God shits all over it through Joshua.  I’m actually angry at this fictional God!

Mad props to Jensen for his performance, yet again.  He broke my heart over and over this episode and the cherry on the top was Cas’ when he heard what God had to say.  Poignant as all hell.

I’m not going to try to analyze this one to death (til ram gets through with it anyway).  I’m just teary-eyed and hurt and touched beyond belief at my reaction to this show yet again.  Much, much better than last week.  Next week looks pretty interesting as well.  Not much more to this season left and still a lot to do and a lot more soul crushing to be wrought I imagine.  I hope I have the strength to endure it.  I now, ultimately, Dean does, no matter what he thinks and says right now.

I’ll post pictures when I feel like looking through them.  Too drained right now!

Read Full Post »

Fics Up To Date Again

Yes, I have been terrible at blogging.  I can only plead the fact that I’m working on two fics at once.  I’m pretty close to an SL wrap so hopefully I’ll be making more time soon.  SPN is back tonight so you know we’ll be discussing it.  Lost is awesome but confusing and I haven’t had much to say.  I’m working on it!

I just uploaded Taste of Innocence Chapter 6 and Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 37 and 38 so we’re all good again.  I’m getting better!  Click the tabs to catch up!

Read Full Post »

Feast or Famine

You know I love it when they're in suits

This week’s Supernatural, My Bloody Valentine, might have been one of the more gory gorefests I’ve ever seen in my life.  It was so sickening that I really can’t even go back and do a rewatch.  The “meat” of the episode doesn’t really matter anyway, in typical Supernatural fashion, it was the last 5 minutes or so that were so damn important.  We’ll get to that soon enough.

Cas was adorable up til the meat.

So our boys go to a town where a couple literally eats one another alive (yeah that’s how the episode started, yum!).  More deaths occur and Sam finds marks on the victim’s hearts that are angelic symbols so in comes Cas.  I must say, despite the grossness that invaded much of the episode, Castiel was even more adorable than usual from his conversation with Dean on the phone to his burger eating (not so much the raw meat though).

Yes, Cupid is a man in a diaper

Cas figures out they’re dealing with a cherub or Cupid so they go hunting for the thing.  Dean’s horror at the idea that there is a big diaper wearing baby flitting around the world was great.  As was his reaction to said big diaper wearing man hugging him.  And Sam.  And Cas.  Lots of hugging of Cas after Dean and Sam made him their official spokesman.

It's interesting that Castiel's hand mojo is similar to Sam's.

Cupid was reduced to tears when he found out all his lovebirds were dying but swore that he wasn’t involved.  Dean insulted him and he took off, as sensitive men in diapers tend to do.  Castiel realizes that another of the horsemen has appeared, Famine, and he’s basically making the town feed of their hungers.  Gorging themselves to death on food, sex, alcohol, whatever.

Sam runs across one of the demons a few times and finds himself drawn to the blood again, Famine working on his hunger if you will.  He manages not to succumb the first time but the demon gets away and informs Famine that Sam is in town.

Cas, meanwhile, is chowing down burgers like they’re nobodies business and he’s truly adorable while doing so.  As was Dean’s reaction to Cas’ unending eating.  Castiel asks why Dean isn’t overcome by his desires (God to make Dean overcome by desire, hehe) and Dean tells him it’s because when he wants things, he gets them.  Castiel accepts that but all episode Dean was “off” and Sam kept trying to call him on it but Dean wouldn’t tell him what was wrong.

Sam tells Dean that he can’t help in the search for Famine because his hunger is overcoming him and he begs Dean to make it impossible for him to get out.  Dean handcuffs him to the sink in the bathroom and Cas moves a dresser against the drawer so he can’t get out.  Dean’s face, when Sam revealed that he was tempted, just ripped through me.  He was so disappointed and you can feel it coming again, that potential, final rift between the brothers.

Anyway, Famine is not about to let his favorite suit of Satan be locked away so he sends his demons to let him free.  Except, not really, because he really sent them so Sam would feed on them, which indeed he does.  And just like that, the mojo is back.  He drinks from one demon and uses the Mojo Hand to throw the other against the wall to wait his turn.  All this was said with bloody lips.  Ick.

Castiel stops eating long enough to go into the diner that Famine is occupying.  He’s supposed to cut off his finger and pop back into the car but he doesn’t appear a couple seconds later so Dean goes in and finds Cas eating raw meat (this was the not cute portion of Castiel’s role).  Dean is of course captured by several demons and brought forth to face Famine.

Here’s where we get to the truly important stuff so I’m going to transcribe what matters:

Famine: Hunger doesn’t just come from the body, it comes from the soul.

Dean: Funny, it doesn’t seem to be coming from mine.

Famine: Yes, I noticed that.  I wonder why that is.  How you can even walk in my presence.

Dean:  I like to think it because of my strength of character.

Famine: I disagree. He touches Dean’s chest.  Yes, I see.  That’s one deep, dark nothing you got there Dean.  Can’t fill it, can you?  Not with food, not with drink, not even with sex.

Dean:  You’re so full of crap.

Famine:  You can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me.  I can see inside you Dean.  I can see how broken you are.  How defeated.  You can’t win and you know it but you just keep fighting.  Just keep going through the motions.  You’re not hungry, Dean, because inside you’re already dead.

Fuck!  Can I just say that?  I wanted to reach through my TV screen and rip Famine to shreds for saying those things about Dean.  At first I was thinking he was implying that Dean had no soul.  And that was just fucking unacceptable.  There is no way that man doesn’t have a soul.  He cares too much about people and the world and everything for that to be possible.  So, I think I’ve ruled out that as what Famine was saying but I’m sure rameau will help me work through that.

As long as he’s not saying that Dean has no soul, I’m okay.  Though I’m really not because Dean is broken and he knows it and Sam knows it but Dean won’t admit to it.  It’s easier just to ignore it so he can keep fighting.  But he doesn’t believe they can win.  It won’t stop him from picking up the sword and fighting but if you don’t believe, if your heart isn’t really in it, what is the point?

I thought it was apt that in the flashbacks they showed the not real doctor asking Dean how in the hell he got out of bed everyday with the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He’s just so damn amazing to me.  That he would take on Lucifer like this when he doesn’t believe he’s going to win.  What an epic character.

Anyway, Sam comes in, bloody and mojoed up and Dean just says “Sammy, no,” when he sees him.  Famine tells him he sent the demons as a gift for him just so he could feed and he could have the other demons if he wanted them.  Dean’s face…Jesus.  He was so horrified and sad and hurt.  A+ for Jensen in this episode.  He ripped my own heart out with his expressions alone.  And then the end…well we’ll get to that.

Dean begs Sam not to eat them and Sam expels the demons from the bodies but doesn’t partake in anymore eating.  Famine decides if he won’t take them, he will and he sucks the demons inside him.  Again, Dean’s face watching Sam expel those demons was shocked and horrified.  To the point where he could have easily cut off the ring but he didn’t move.

Sam tries to mojo Famine but he’s told it won’t work on him.  Sam says he’s right but it’ll work on them and he proceeds to kill Famine from the inside, I guess ironically killing him with his own hunger.  Dean then looks at Sam like he’s…I don’t even know.  Scared?  Hurt?  Destroyed?  Lost?  A combination of stuff I guess.  Again it slayed me.

Then, as if it wasn’t enough, Sam’s locked back up in Bobby’s special room while Cas and Dean stand outside, Dean drinking.  Cas tells Dean that it’s not really Sam in there and Dean says he know.  Dean says he just needs to get some air, not able to hear Cas’ platitudes.

He wanders the junkyard and drinks his whiskey and then looks at it as if he knows that’s not the answer.  His face falls and his eyes tear up and he looks to the sky.

“Please.  I can’t.  I need some help.  Please.” And I fucking lose my shit all over the place even watching it a second time.  He destroyed me with that.  Dean’s turned to heaven what, twice?  Both times after he realized Sam’s addiction to the demon blood and saw what he could do.  Dean, who really doesn’t believe in the whole God heaven stuff, even with the angels, is asking for help.  He’s so damn lost.

I actually saw rameau tweet something wondering why Dean got all the psychological torment while Sam gets the physical and she’s so very right.  She said it better than I did, of course, but my God.  Dean can live through the physical pain but to see what he’s going through mentally..it rips at the viewer’s soul.  Or mine at least.

Dean’s always been among my favorite characters but episodes like this place him above and beyond other characters I love.  I want to fix him.  I just want to take him the hell away from everything that hurts him and let him smile for crying out loud.  It’s funny because again, this episode purported to be about Sam’s addiction but instead it was about Dean’s torment.  At least for me.  But I’m a Dean girl and I never tried to hide that.

So we have to go something like 5 weeks without new episode, during which I will not be able to forget the pain on that beautiful face while he begged heaven to help him.  You can see why he’s likely to give in to Michael now.  At least, one way or another, it will end the fight.  And he’s scared of Sam’s power.  Drinking from two demons made him stronger than he was last time he was working the mojo.  I honestly don’t see how Sam’s going to survive in the end and I don’t see how Dean will survive if Michael uses him to kill him.

On that bright and lovely note, I’m going to end this.  I cried from the time Famine put his hand on Dean and I’m still teary typing.  I just truly hope when it’s all said and done there’s a way to bring Dean some peace.  He needs it.

PS If I can bare to look at screencaps of the end of the episode I will post some of Dean’s facial shots when they’re up.  They said so much without the words.

Read Full Post »

Team Free Will

Dean finally meets Michael

Fate.  Destiny.  Bloodlines.  Fathers & sons.  Brother vs brother.  Present meets past.  Last night’s Supernatural had a little bit of everything and a lot of what I’ve been craving for weeks on end.  Finally Dean meets Michael.  Finally Sam gets to meet his mother.  Finally we see Castiel.  Finally Sam & John get to have a decent talk about how Dean and Sam were raised.  Finally Dean revealed his true self to his mother.  Finally, Anna died.

Okay, that last one was just icing on the cake but you knew I’d be celebrating the crispy critter that she became.  I am so Michael’s bitch after that move, especially while he’s wearing the yummy young John Winchester while doing it.  Seriously hot.

Total yum, especially when an angel's wearing him!

Anyway, Anna tries to reach out to Dean, interrupting one of his prurient dreams of angels and demons and asking him to meet her.  Thankfully, our Dean was not born yesterday (though he wasn’t born in part of this epi, hehe) and he told Castiel who went to meet her in his place.  It seems Anna was in Heaven Prison for awhile and that’s not a pleasant place to be.  Cry me a river, Anna.  She tells Cas that killing Sam is the only way to stop Lucifer but Cas won’t sign off on this because Sam is his friend now.  That’s a definite about face for our favorite angel, in the not too distant past he was all on board the Kill Sam train.  I like to think it’s his love for Dean that makes him unable to go that track now.  What?  He does!

So Anna takes it upon herself to head into the past to kill John and Mary before they even have the boys.  Cas figures out where she is and zaps himself, Sam and Dean to help.  I have to give major props to Jared for Sam’s reaction to seeing his younger parents for the first time.  The love and awe he had on his face when looking at Mary was heartbreaking and adorable.  It definitely made me think about to last week’s episode and his sneering at the trappings of traditional family.  Methinks he might have changed his tune after a little time with his parents.

Bloody, soon to be dead, Anna. Yay!

Mary remembered Dean from his other jaunt into the past and was none too happy about his presence.  Dean managed to get her to listen enough to hear that she and John were in danger from angels (thanks to Sam interjecting that last part) and she was prepared to run with them.  But John got a call from his boss and went to meet him only to find Anna.  Sam & Dean got there in time to send her away via the blood drawing on the wall.

Sam finally got to meet his Mom.

Then we get to the good stuff.  John, driving the Impala and yelling at them all to be quiet in a very fatherly way, is stunned to learn about monsters and hunting.  He & Sam have a conversation about how Sam could have been raised and what kind of terrible father he had to allow that.  Sam, for the first time, was able to tell his father that he understood why he’d chosen that life for them, that thirst for revenge.  It was fascinating to see John play the Sam role and Sam play the John role in that conversation.  I thought they both were excellent.

I love John and Mary. That's baby Dean in there!

That was countered with Dean’s conversation with Mary, wherein he finally revealed that he was her son.  He told her about the song she sang him at bedtime and the soup she made him when he was sick.  He begged her not to go into that nursery the day that she dies, he even told her why and that her sons would be cursed.  Mary was scared and upset and disbelieving but somehow accepting at the same time?  I don’t know how to explain it.  Sam interrupted and told them both that avoiding the nursery wasn’t enough, she needed to leave John and never have them and never look back.  Mary kept saying she couldn’t, finally revealing that she was already pregnant with Dean.

That doesn't look like it feels too good!

That moment was interrupted by the return of Anna, this time with young Uriel in tow, set on killing the men that kill him 30 years later.  John is dispatched and Anna stabs Sam and leaves him for dead while Dean tangles with Uriel and Anna goes after Mary.  Outside, a flashing light appears and all of a sudden John is inside the house and Michael is inside John.   He touched Anna and fried her to a crisp.  I laughed.  He dispensed Uriel with the snap of two fingers.  Michael, in a word, was hot.

Feel the heat!

Dean demands that he fix Sam but Michael says he will in good time, after they’ve had a little chat.  Dean asks how he can be inside John and Michael tells him that their bloodline is what makes it possible, he can inhabit anyone in that family (except for probably Sam I’m guessing).  When John heard that Michael could help Mary he let him right in.

That's what happens when you try to take Dean away, bitch!

Michael explains to Dean that his life is fated, always, to come down to letting Michael inside so he can fight Lucifer.  Every step John and Mary made in life led him down this path.  I was happy to find out that Michael won’t leave Dean a slobbering idiot when all is said and done.  I have a question…why can’t Dean let Michael in to fight Lucifer in that other body?  I know he’s all about free will but I’m thinking he’d be willing to do it if he didn’t have to kill Sam in the process.  I suppose there’s some caveat to that we don’t know about at this point.  Dean doesn’t say a lot but he’s still clinging to the idea that he doesn’t have to go along with this masterplan.  He tells Michael to take his brother and take their fight off his planet.  So cute.  Kisses to Dean.

Ram outlined this convo a lot better than I could after only one viewing so go check out her post on the matter, over at the I Love Bad Boys blog.  Michael zapped Sam and Dean back to the future and Cas appeared but promptly passed out.  He’s not able to travel through time as easily now that’s not a favored angel anymore.

Dean pours drinks to Team Free Will and Sam questions him, asking if there was nothing, not even saving Mom, that would make him agree to let Michael in.  Dean doesn’t really have an answer to that and we’re done with the episode.

This was the kind of epi I’ve been craving for ages now.  I love young John and Mary (seriously, give them a spin off or something).  I love Cas and Michael.  I love Anna dying.  I love our boys confronting their pasts and filling in some of the many missing moments they had with their parents.  I hope they manage to see them again before the series ends.  A hug or two would be nice!

See you next week for an episode that appears might bring back out bloodlusting Sammy.  Could be interesting!

Read Full Post »

Swap Meat

I wasn’t going to do a post on this week’s Supernatural until the last minute of the show.  And this is going to be short and sweet (surprise, I know).  I am capable of it, I swear!

You know the story, witchcraft practicing kid switches body with Sammy in order to kill Dean and collect a bounty from the demons.  But he actually starts liking Dean and fails to kill him.  Sam, meanwhile, is trapped in the 17 year old kid’s body and stuck living his life while trying to gain back his own buff bod (the kid’s reaction to Sam’s muscles was priceless).

I really enjoyed the episode, even if it was just another fun stand alone type.  I laughed at Sam’s clothing and talking back to the parents and such as well as the kid’s reaction to being in the bar (though I do think Sam would order a banana daquiri and why not?  They’re good).  His going to get “the sex” cracked me up and I’m rather disappointed we didn’t get to see some after affects of the dominatrix chick.  Or him bragging to Dean about it at least.

I really don’t need to do a step by step breakdown.  What was interesting was the last minute, when Sam & Dean returned the kid to his house and Sam told him that he should enjoy his life, he has it way better than they ever did.  Something I would definitely expect old Sam to say.  Then he gets in the car and informs Dean that he was lying and the kid’s life truly sucked and he’s glad they didn’t grow up that way.

To say Dean was surprised would be an understatement.  For so long he’s longed for that life and so has Sam.  Now Sam gets it, albeit briefly, and soundly rejects it.  “All that apple pie family crap, it’s stressful.  Trust me, we didn’t miss a damn thing.”  He sounds like he means it too.

Dean counters with, “Or we don’t know what we’re missing.”  He still longs for it, that childhood and family that he never got.  The fact that Sam doesn’t is jarring and once again doesn’t bode well for future Sammy.  Just feels like another portent of things to come.

I like when SPN slips something that resounding into an episode that is otherwise fun but forgettable.  Since we get to see young John & Mary again next week, I’m hoping the boys longing for a real family does get explored even further.  And I’m glad Cas is back, I’ve missed that handsome angel.  Oh, and I think my Anna hatred is now officially justified with what is coming.  Hope they kill her!  Hee.

Back next week with a longer post since we’re going Apocalyptic again!  Can’t wait!

Read Full Post »

Boys, Interrupted

I’m not sure why they titled the latest episode of Supernatural Sam, Interrupted when it was more of an equal split between Sam & Dean.  In fact, if anything I thought it was more about Dean until the very end.  So, to rectify it, I named this blog Boys, Interrupted because what this was was a fascinating look into the psyche of both boys.

Sam & Dean make their way to a mental institution housing one of their fellow hunters.  A rash of suicides have occurred there but the patient’s are claiming seeing a monster.  What better place for a monster than a psych ward?

I will be honest with you here, I’m scared of mental institutions.  Not as scared as I am of clowns, but I am still scared of them and when they’re used in TV shows or movies it never fails to give me the heebie jeebies.  So, for SPN to go there was pretty good.  Imagine my trauma, by the way, when Dean was looking at some clown drawings that the hunter (was it Maxwell?) had on the wall.  Gah!  Thankfully the killer was not some demented clown or I probably wouldn’t be remotely coherent today.

The sad thing, of course, was that Dean & Sam told the doctor the truth when he was trying to figure out why they were there.  They went on about Sam starting the apocalypse and then Dean told the doc to fix Sam so they could get back to hunting monsters and bammo, they’re admitted.  Or maybe I should say committed.

I guess I rarely think about how the outside world would perceive Dean & Sam.  We don’t get exposed to that much.  We see them lie and we know why they do but seeing them tell the truth and get thrown into a mental institution for it really drove the point home in a way that I just never really thought about.

One of the most interesting things, immediately, was that the doctor separated Sam & Dean during group because he felt they were way too co-dependent on one another.  Pretty good pick up in that short amount of time that he spent with them, wasn’t it?  Dean looked pretty lost when they took Sam away and watching him play checkers by himself just made me giggle.

Sam finds out in group that one of the guys there saw a monster but the other nutbag girl pipes up and interrupts and makes the poor crazy guy’s story moot.  But Sam has a place to start, because at that point they had no idea what they were hunting.

Dean, meanwhile, got a visit from a shrink.  When he told her his story…it just tore me up inside watching him tell her about how it was his responsibility to save everyone in the world.  And she was damn right when she told him that he took way too much responsibility on his shoulders and asked how the hell he got out of bed every day.  Believe me, I’ve asked that question more than once, particularly since he got back from hell.  The drive he has to save others is astounding and incomprehensible.  He was never really able to answer her question of why he did it either.  He just has to.  It’s as much a part of him as his beautiful face and his green eyes.

Sam & Dean go to see the patient who saw the monster but they can’t get into his room in time to save him.  Instead, it appears he hung himself.  They break into the morgue area and study the body and Sam finds a huge hole in the guys head so he proceeds to use the bone saw and cut the head open.  I’m not ashamed to say that I would have been standing right next to Dean in the hallway while all that was going on.  Really, SPN, you had to up the gore factor this first episode back didn’t ya?  All the open brains and gushy sounds…I was eating at the time dammit!  Fortunately, nothing quells my appetite, but still.  Anyway, Sam finds that the brain has been sucked completely dry and Max tells them what they’re hunting then.  Hilariously, they are caught by the nurse and she asks what they’re doing so Dean pulls down his pants and yells “Pudding!”  I could make several lewd and rude comments here but I will refrain.  I can be a lady occasionally.  Okay, I can’t.  Dean, I want your pudding.  There, I could have been more foul but you get the picture.

You can see the wraith’s true self when looking at it in a mirror and Dean sees the doctor as the wraith so they get hunting, minus Max who apparently had some bad thing happen in Albuquerque and can’t hunt anymore.  Silver will make a wraith’s blood boil so they get some silver plated letter openers and go after the doc.  Sam finds him and cuts his arm open and then is grabbed by some orderlies.  He flattens them and goes after the doctor again but Max stops him by pointing out that the blood isn’t boiling.  Sam gets slapped into solitary and drugged up good.

Dean manages to get in to see Sam and experiences his drugged up babble, which is both adorable and insightful.  He tells Dean that maybe he’s gone crazy after all, he’s always been close to that edge and maybe being in there brought that out of him.  Of course Dean is not thrilled to hear this and after Sam’s “I love you” decides to leave to find the thing.  But alas, he gets in the hallway and has another talk with the all knowing shrink about his hunting and need to save the world but she’s not really there.  He starts seeing the wraith everywhere he looks and ends up a babbling mess sitting in the corner.

The doctor Sam attacked visits him and Sam apologizes.  The doc isn’t that worried about the monster issue, he’s more worried about the anger Sam is hauling around.  He said he was like a man possessed as he attacked him and that scares Sam, because he knows it’s true.  Sam is a very angry character.  Dean represses, Sam rages.  Sam gets the right to go back out into the mental population but he’s not out there for more than minute before he starts seeing all the patients calling him a freak and blaming him for their future deaths.  Dean huddles in the corner as Sam throws punches in the air at nothing and then hits some orderly and gets taken to the padded room.

Dean eventually finds his way to Max and tells him he’s going crazy and fears that it’s for real but it doesn’t make sense that he and Sam would succumb on the same day.  He’s not surprised that both of them would go nuts, it’s clear that he expects that in his future.  He’s just disbelieving it could happen on the same day.  They figure out that the wraith must have touched both of them and made them crazy.  Dean and Max go after Wendy, the patient that got to suck face with both boys (lucky bitch, why can’t I have that role?) but she’s in the process of being attacked by the wraith, the nurse that did their admission exam.

She manages to get away but does have a cut on her hand, so she sends the orderlies to the room.  Max distracts them and allows Dean to get away while the wraith goes into the padded room and feels up Sammy a little.  Can’t blame a monster, can ya?  If I had a Winchester strapped to a bed…well, we’ve already talked about pudding.  Nuff of that.  She does tell Sam that she can’t make a person crazy, she can only take the crazy that’s already there and elevate it.  No surprise, of course, that our boys have a little bit of the psycho within them.  That went without saying.  Dean bursts in just as Sam is about to be probed (not the fun kind) and wrestles with the wraith.  Her brain sucking tool comes out and Dean manages to break it, which freaks her out and then he silver stabs her and releases Sam.

They get the heck out of the institution but Sam stops and tells Dean that he’s too angry all the time.  He’s blamed it on Dad and Dean and Ruby and the demon blood but really it’s just him.  You know I love my Dean, but he’s wrong when he tells Sam he just needs to suppress it and get in the car and continue on with the living.  That’s how Dean survives, yes, but it’s sure as hell not healthy and it doesn’t work with Sam.  Sam erupts and he does it at the worst possible times.  It’s the thing that will probably make him submit to the devil one of these days.  Sam gets in the car but you know that’s not the last of it.

I truly liked this episode.  It’s been a long time since we got to explore the boy’s heads for awhile and having the doctors, real and imagined, be so dead accurate in their assessments of the boys was a cool twist that we haven’t seen before.  Let’s face it, both of them could benefit from some intensive psychotherapy but that’s just not how they roll.  At least not Dean and he’s not about to let Sam do it either.  Sigh.  Sam’s anger is clearly going to come into play, we know the devil loves that about him.  Fascinating character study and effectively done.  I can’t wait for next week.

Pictures will be up when they post them, the CW had none for this episode.  Most uncool!  I admit that Sam and Dean in medical garb is not as attractive as Sam and Dean in other states of dress but still, they’re always appealing.

Read Full Post »

I Miss Dean

Even though Supernatural has displeased me a few times this season, I am still missing me some Dean Winchester.  Or Jensen Ackles.  Whatever.  And I know you are too.  So I am posting this gift for you and for me.

There are not nearly enough shirtless and sorta pantsless Jensen pics out there.

Read Full Post »