Time, space and college football shut down at this moment.
Another wild weekend in college football, with 4 more “supposedly” top 10 teams falling again. I mean, seriously, can we stop ranking these bastards until October at least? It’s getting a bit ridiculous. The only 3 teams that I can say legitimately belong in the top 10, and I’d argue against one of them anyway, are Alabama, Texas and Florida. Florida, however, has not played anybody yet so I’ll confirm or deny them after their Oct. 10 matchup with LSU. Who is also in the top 10 but barely won (no offense, Paxton!)
Of course, before I discuss the games, I would be remiss if I did not address the “hit heard round the world” aka the hit that knocked Tim Tebow out of the KY/UF game. According to ESPN, Gator Nation (puhlease) is waiting with baited breath! Should we start a candlelight vigil? Prayer chain? I guess I should thank old Teebs for taking my teams failure out of the spotlight, but you know I just can’t find it in me to do so. The kid has a concussion, no doubt about it. Welcome to football, about time you got injured.
Of course, he shouldn’t have even been playing in the first place, should he? It seems the Gators have been hit with some “respiratory illness” otherwise known as they have the SWINE FLU but the lying liar who lies known as Urban Meyer doesn’t want to admit it. And Timmy is one of those sick players. But God forbid that The Chosen One miss a game so Urbs had him and some other players flown up separately. Kudos to the cameras for catching that kid puking on the sideliness, quite attractive by the way. Look, Urban, you were playing KY. You could have started your third string QB and won that game. So, it’s on you that Timmy got injured. You and you alone. He should have been in bed popping his tamiflu and feeling like a zombie, that’s what I did and I survived, didn’t hit my head or anything. Sadly UF actually has an off week next week so the concussion is probably not gonna factor in later. A shame, Meyer deserves to pay for his hubris.
While I’m at it, I want to compliment the KY fans that ignored Meyer’s respiratory bullshit and sported face masks near the Gator bench. Kudos, compliments, brilliance! Hilarity, really. Since I had swine flu and know of what I speak, I have to tell you that it was mortifying to me to show up at the docs office and have all of the assistants wearing masks in my presence. I felt a bit like a freak, even though it made sense. So I admire the mask idea against the Gators.
Have I spent enough time discussing Tebow? I feel like I should have a word requirement for the amount of time spent talking about his awesomeness…will they ban my blog if I fail to meet it? Issues! Anyway, moving on, it was a terrible day for the ACC. I know I tease AGO about the Pac-10 but my conference is no better. The one legit team in the division this year, Miami, got the shit kicked out of them by Va Tech. I went into that game fully expecting Miami to win and win big due to Va Tech’s anemic offense, but no. It was raining and apparently that makes Va Tech’s offense pretty good, who knew? Or Miami’s defense sucks. Or Miami just sucks and everybody was so anxious to have them back that they got it wrong. Or the conference just sucks. I’m going with the latter.
How could I not after my Noles lost to USF yesterday. And they didn’t lose to USF’s senior QB Matt Grothe, who had been lighting up the league for a couple of years. That I could probably have understood (no, I really couldn’t have but I could have pretended a little). No, they lost to a redshirt sophomore QB (from Tallahassee no less, slap in the face there). And it’s not like Ponder had a bad game either. He was fine, it was everyone else who had issues. You know, the 5 guys who fumbled? Not to mention the drops? Not to mention the untimely holds and penalties? Yeah, ugly game. So ugly that I saw the writing on the wall and stopped watching at halftime. I think the entire secondary needs to be benched after the terrible play. Two 70+ yard touchdowns, are you kidding me? Where the hell was the safety? Who the hell is the safety? He’s fired! I wish the coaching staff could be fired (yeah I said it, blasphemy) too. The 99 championship team (ahhh, I love you!!!!) was honored at the half and someone quoted Peter Warrick (such a stud in college, such a failure in the NFL) as saying that the players weren’t hungry like they used to be. And he’s right. And that? That is on the coaches my friends. You get your team up to play every week, not just when they’re playing a top 10 team and feeling dissed. Farewell Noles, maybe next year (now I sound like a Cubs fan…these bastards are killing me!)
Sorry, obligatory Nole rant is over. Let’s discuss the not-so-top 10 now. Weeks ago my friend was railing at me about how Ole Miss did not belong in the top 10 and it was the worst ranking he’d ever seen. I thought it was hilarious so I kept telling him that the Rebels were the new powerhouse in the league, the new USC. He got mad, it was fun. I didn’t buy it, of course, but what’s the fun of sports without giving each other shit? Anyway, the Mighty Rebels lost to South Carolina of all teams. You know me, I’m all about the Cocks, even minus the Smelley factor, but really? No top 10 team should ever lose to the Cocks. It just isn’t done. And for weeks we’d been hearing about what a stud the QB of Ole Miss was but he managed to put up something like 10 pts against the Cock D? Enjoy your fall, Rebels, won’t be that far since everyone else lost but whatever.
Who’s next? Oh yeah, Penn State! YAY! I’m sorry, I am a JoePa hater from Day 1 and it has nothing to do with Bobby Bowden either. I just find him to be a crotchety old bastard and can’t stand him. And I find it amusing that somehow Iowa (who nearly lost to Northern Iowa in week one) manages to beat them every year, at the the supposedly intimidating Happy Valley. If you want to intimidate people, I don’t think you should play in a place called “Happy”. I’m just sayin. Anyway, Ferentz really has JoePa’s number. The QB, Clark, threw pick after pick in the second half to help Iowa ice the game. I actually watched and enjoyed that one, go figure.
Okay, just to demonstrate how ridiculous the rankings are, let’s look at this score. Unranked Oregon 42, #6 Cal 3. 3! It’s not like they lost by a little in a competitive game, they lost by 39. 39! Ooops, math found it’s way into my blog again, sorry about that. I could potentially get excited about the rise of Oregon, but why bother? I know they’ll crap the bed against USC like they always do, so no point in being thrilled at their performance. USC only loses to teams that never should beat them, not teams that should hang. By the way, the sucky thing about all these top 10 losses? USC will be ranked 7 or 8 this week, wait and see. Pete Carroll’s not going to have to whine, threaten or cajole their way back into the championship hunt, everyone else is laying down before them. Ugh.
I already talked about Miami/Va Tech, who will also vault back into the top 10 despite their crappy offense (I am calling yesterday’s game an anomaly until I see more from the Hokies on a weekly basis). I mentioned LSU’s struggles with Miss State, but they survived so that’s what it’s all about I guess. Nobody else is. Get better though, I want the Gators to go down in 2 weeks.
For more stellar play from the ACC, Clemson lost to TCU, #22 UNC lost to Georgia Tech (fresh off their thrashing by Miami) and Maryland got hammered by Rutgers. Oh, and my morons lost to USF, can’t forget that. Only NC State rose up and beat Pitt. Oh and Duke won! They beat the mighty N Carolina Central someoneorothers. Yeah, crappy day for the conference…I’d say we’re as bad as the Big Least but we can’t even beat them, so why bother?
I guess that’s the main happenings from the weekend. Nobody is impressing me consistently besides Texas and they’ve not played anybody really so only time will tell there. The top 10 rankings should be rather amusing today, like I said, USC and VA Tech will make leaps, Ohio State will move up some…who else? And will it matter next week when more lose? No, not at all. Gear up for that USC/FL championship game people, it’s coming because the football gods are cruel. Back with you next week!
Read Full Post »