What’s this? A Sports Post?

I know, I know!  It’s right there in the title and I don’t think I’ve written anything sports related since….shit…the Super Bowl?  Maybe before?  Yikes.  I am fail, but that seems to be a theme with me today so I may as well embrace it.

*hangs head*  Yes, I know I have been a woeful updater this summer, but I swore to myself that I would get it going with the football season and new TV season rolled around and guess what, they’re here.  So I am going to do my damndest to do at least one sports post a week.  Probably 2, with my football picks and recaps.  I vow it here, in print, so I can’t deny it later (though I could always go and hit and edit and erase it, hehe)  No, I wouldn’t do that to you.

So why am I back now?  You know why!  College football is back in a big way, baby!  I was in heaven yesterday (and if you follow me on twitter, you got to see it live.  If you don’t, why aren’t you?) and I had to come here and share my thoughts with you, the beloved sports readers, all 4 of you.  If you’re still there.  And I hope you are!

So what did we learn yesterday?  Not a hell of a lot, considering most teams played cream puffs (oops, sorry Southern Miss and Kansas, that was fail for you, wasn’t it?) but I saw enough to get a glimmer of hope from my Noles.

I know, I know, I thought it was really truly and dead too.  That I wouldn’t be able to talk myself into believing in them again until they went 11-1 and ended up in a BCS game, but all it took was firing a beloved head coach (oops, I mean, forcing him to retire) and a dominating victory over a sub division school and here’s Nole with some hope.  She’s an idiot and she’ll be singing a different tune next weekend when they get killed by Oklahoma.

You may be right.  You probably are.  But I have to tell you what I saw anyway, why that little niglet of hope is curling in my chest and waiting to sprout into a full blown rose if given half an opportunity.  It’s because what I saw on that field looked different, felt different from what I’ve seen the past decade.  But it wasn’t unfamiliar.  It was like an old friend you haven’t seen in years but instantly recognize and feel kinship with.  They felt like the old Noles.

The starters were out at halftime.  The lead was 42-3 or 49-3 or something?  It was beautiful.  The quarterback had all of one bad pass and that was a tipped ball.  The defense was swarming.  Special teams blocked a punt and returned one for a TD.  Everything was clicking.  And I know, they were playing Samford.  Believe me, I’m not drinking the Kool-aid yet.  But the simple fact is, the Noles have played down to their competition in recent years.  They’d be nearly tied with the Citadel at halftime.  They’d require a flurry of late scoring to beat Whatsamatta U.  You get my point.  Yesterday, for the first time, they put their foot on the jugular of an undermatched opponent and didn’t let up.

It felt good, it felt old but new again.  I have no delusions that we’re officially back, but I do have hope that we can actually not suck all over the place and maybe make a showing in Oklahoma next weekend.  They’ve got a new QB and we’ll see what happens.  For once, though, I’m actually looking forward to seeing them.  This is new, too.

Last night’s UNC/LSU match-up turned out to be pretty damn awesome, if I do say so myself.  I started flipping around when LSU went up 31-10, thinking it was over, especially since half the UNC team was reading their hooked on phonics books on the sidelines, furtively trying to ask people in the stands how to pronounce certain words.  The quarterback and center managed to fumble on the first 3 possessions, leading to two turnovers and 7 points for LSU (should have been more, really, their kicker was kind of sucktastic last night).

LSU’s kick returner, Peterson I believe, is the player of the game because without his returns, I doubt LSU would have held on even vs. the overmatched Heels.  They had a chance to win at the end, but two passes in the end zone came up short.  Still, they have nothing to hang their heads about (well despite those agents and tutors, of course).  They put on a good show and may still be a force to contend with in the ACC.   LSU needs to play better to take down Florida.  Then again, maybe they don’t.

The Gators were HORRIBLE! HA!  Look what happens when your team loses 85% of it’s offense all in one player, Urban.   Oops, maybe you should have let some of the other players play.  You were too busy slurping Teebs for 4 years, though, why develop anyone else?  Oh yeah, that’s why.  You’re very lucky you started off with a cream puff instead of an SEC team because you would have lost yesterday.  Did I hear right?  13 fumbled snaps?  I’m kind of in love with that Pouncey guy now.  Keep him around, will ya?

The LSU/UNC ending would have been the best of the day were it not for the Ole Miss/Jax State matchup.  Now, of course I was not watching this game, because really, why would I?  But ESPN was kind enough to show the 2nd overtime and inform us that Ole Miss had been up by 3 TDs but let them come back in the second half.  This, my friends, reminded me of the not so old Noles, by the way.  Anyway, 4th and 15 I believe the QB for Jax (no, I do not know his name) fired the ball into the end zone and his WR managed to get one foot down near the line and score the TD.  Now they had to kick the extra point and head to OT #3.  Right?

Wrong.  The coach, realizing he had nothing to lose and had already overachieved, decided to go for 2.  There was a crowd of players in the middle of the field and the QB was trying to outrun a lineman and managed to flip the ball right through about 8 people into a receiver’s arms and he fell forward into the end zone.  A review (a pointless one as you couldn’t be more clear on it) was upheld and our first upset of the year was finished.  It was fun and I loved seeing the little guy win.  Reminded me of Appalachian State over Michigan a few years ago, back when we still thought Michigan was decent.

And of course, they came out and played well yesterday so they’re pretty excited.  Beat UConn pretty well.  Jury’s still out but at least it makes the matchup with Notre Dame more interesting.  Please, win for me Michigan.  I’ll happily re-embrace you as elite before I will ever want to deal with hearing about Notre Dame being back.  They’re already pissing me off.  Take them down and I will love you forever and Rich Rodriguez…well, he can stay I guess. haha If you want him.

Kansas went down too but I can’t speak to that as I didn’t watch.  It’s a new year in college football and interesting teams are going to crop up and established ones are going to fall.  Happens every year.  Looking forward to seeing it all play out and being here with you talk about it.  I have Boise State over Va Tech on Monday night by the way.  Go Broncos 🙂

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Football Frenzy

I know, I’ve been slacking on the sports part of this blog again.  I admit it freely.  To be fair, I tried to post my football picks last week and wordpress was fail, as was FF.net, and the compu-world was out to get me.  This week I’m not doing picks because half the teams will be resting players.

So, instead, I will write a little on Bowl Day as I watch my Noles hang with WV.  Early on it looked to be a rout but the defense came back and remembered how to play.  That, or, as I suspect and was calling for, Bobby took all the NFL vets on the sidelines for his last game and made the crappy players give them their uniforms.  What?  It would be awesome.  And better.

I have lots to discuss but first let’s comment on the end of the Outback Bowl which will no doubt be discussed ad nauseum on all the post game shows.  I think that call by Pat Fitzgerald was awesome as hell.  Epic.  Yeah, it didn’t work but clearly he had no faith in the kicker that had never been in a game so why not go for the fake and the win.  Should have run to the left though. Awesome play and a hell of a game.  Sorry I missed much of it but I hung in for OT.

I think any blogger, football announcer, football watcher or person in general is required to discuss Urban Meyer, so here is my take.  What a bunch of shit.  He has to leave for “health reasons” but then a day later it’s a “leave of absence”.  I wonder why?  Could it be because recruits were about to drop like flies?  So instead we’ll make some assurances and promises to the players until they’re committed in Feb and then Urban can “retire” again.  I’m sorry but one spirited practice does not fix a faulty heart.  What a boob.  So much for faith and family over football.  Lying ass.  I’ll be shocked if he comes back to coach.

Let’s talk NFL now.  The Colts…that was some fucked up shit wasn’t it?  You know damn well that Manning did not want to come out of the game and that he wanted to go back in when Painter came in and sucked ass.  Look, I get it, you play to win the Super Bowl.  But this is history we’re talking about.  This is destroying the fucking 72 Dolphins who you may remember I hate with the fire of 1000 suns.  Do it for me, bastards, if you won’t do it for yourselves.  Ridiculous.

Okay, I must go back to the Noles for a second.  Hell of a catch by Jarmon Fortson, going air and bringing it down with one hand.  This after a drop on an easy ass pass in the 2nd quarter.  I tweeted at the time that he always makes the hard catches and fails on the easy ones.  I am so right.  As usual. hehe Awesome play though, look it up if you missed it.  Noles up by 9, hoping they can hold and win one for Bobby.

Since I detoured to talk about one of my teams, let’s talk about the Bucs epic fail at failure.  WTF?  I mean, seriously, there we were, staring at the #1 pick in the draft, bringing a boy named Suh to Tampa which would have given me delightful writing opportunities, and what do we do?  We win 2 in a damn row.  2!  Including vs. the Saints.  I don’t even know what to do with that information.  First they betray me by firing our coach and hiring a completely unqualified replacement, then they get rid of my favorite players in the world, then they draft a QB in the first round that I did not want, then they suck epically for weeks on end and I resign myself to the first pick in the draft.  Then I see Suh in action and get excited about said prospect.  Then, of course, the Bucs decide to win.  They friggin hate me.  There’s no other explanation for their constant betrayal all year long.  Much hate to my team.

Did we see vintage Patriots last weekend vs. Jax?  Or was it just a mirage?  I don’t know but it was nice to see Brady and Moss on the same page again.  I hope it can continue into the playoffs because I’d like the Pats to make some noise.  The Colts are no longer allowed to win after their asshattery.

As to the Saints?  Their luck just ran out.  Sure they won 13 straight but they could have lost several of them along the way.  It happens.  I don’t know if there’s anything truly wrong with them or not; I never thought they were as good as they were touted to be anyway.  We’ll see what happens in the playoffs.

Now Minnesota, on the other hand…we’re seeing another Favrian collapse it seems to me.  End of the year he starts pressing and making dumb decisions.  AP hasn’t helped with several fumbles either.  The shine may be off that particular rose, if you get what I’m saying.  Again, we’ll see.

I don’t feel too great about any of the playoff teams if I’m being honest, except maybe San Diego.  They’ve been hot for ages now.  But they’ve done that before and crapped out in the post season so who knows?

Okay, my game is down to a 2 point lead so I will go watch and post this now and be back for more after.  See ya later!

I have returned.  I have to say that I had tears in my eyes and a smile on my face watching Bobby get his last win.  The fact that over 300 former players showed up to see him off says a lot about the man.  Seeing him hugging Warrick Dunn and Derrick Brooks just thrilled me.  I know what an effect he had on them and I loved the closeness.  I don’t think college football will ever see another coach like Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno, lifers, again.  He will truly be missed.

OSU is killing Oregon in the early going of the Rose Bowl.  I mean moving through that defense like they’re not on the field.  Nice to see them show up and play well in a BCS game for the first time in a long time.

I don’t know what to say about the LSU/PSU game.  I know that LSU dicked up on the clock, YET AGAIN.  How damn hard is it?  How many games have they lost recently by doing stupid shit in the last minute?  Paxton needs to come weigh in on that if she’s still coherent after the latest screw up.

That’s really all I wanted to say for now.  I could write a lot more about Bobby and I’m a bit irritated that CBS didn’t run a retrospective with quotes from former players for Bobby, I would have liked to see that.  Not to mention them having a working microphone for his final on-field interview.  Idiots.  At least the announcers avoided Tebow slobbering, I was sure they’d throw his name around because they’re contractually obligated to kiss up to him at all times.  Shocking.

Suffice it say that I hated the way that Coach Bowden had to go out but I do feel he forced the school’s hand.  It didn’t end the way it should for any of the sides.  But I’m glad he could leave with a win like that and it was nice to see signs of life in the defense for the first time all year.  EJ Manuel impressed the hell out of me and Fortson made a truly great catch that I can’t wait to see over and over again.  The team wanted to send Bobby out with a win and they did.  For that I am grateful and I will always and forever love Bobby Bowden and the program he created at FSU.  He made me a football fan.  He is an even better man than a coach and he was a pretty damn great coach so that says a lot.  Thanks for the memories, Bobby, you will never be forgotten.

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Welcome To The Pete Carroll Blog!

If you can’t beat em, join them.   Right now I currently have 519 (2256 at 9:30 PM, best blog day by a mile, hehe) hits from USC fans, haters and gossip mongerers searching for information on Pete Carroll’s alleged affair.  For some reason, this search leads to me, a Florida State football fan who blogs on all college fb and might have made a mention of how annoying I find Mr. Carroll and the USC bias.  I realize that an FSU fan speaking of bias is a bit hypocritical, but it’s my blog and I can say what I want to.

So, it seems that Charlie Weis decided to throw Pete Carroll under the bus during some press conference the other day and that has the internet all atwitter today.  Now I’ve been getting hits on this particular topic for about a year, so it’s not a new thing but apparently this is the first time mainstream media has picked up on and reported the story.  If there even is one.  I’m sure Tiger Woods is sending Charlie Weis a gift basket as we speak in the hopes that the Pete story explodes and replaces his own.  Maybe that’s why he was quiet for so long, he was waiting for something else to explode.

I’m afraid that I can’t shed any light on whether Pete is doing the horizontal mambo with a student or not.  I rather like holding to the theory that he has gay love with Matt Leinart so I’d be disappointed if there was a chick in Malibu warming his bed.  I live in Florida so I really can’t speak to any of Pete’s doings other than to enjoy the fact that USC lost again yesterday and are finally nowhere near the BCS.

Anyway, just wanted to say hello to all you people finding my blog while looking for your salacious gossip.  If you find anything cool, feel free to come back and post it, I’m insanely curious since I’m getting hit after hit on the subject.  And while you’re here, why not take a look around and chat, I write about sports, TV, books and movies and even sex sometimes, albeit not Petey’s.  Sorry.  If I ever get firsthand knowledge you’ll be the first to know, since I’m go the go-to place for all Pete Carroll happenings and nonhappenings apparently.  Happy hunting internet friends, try not to shed any Tebow Tears over the fact that I was unable to help you.

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NFL Picks Week 13

I know, I’m late.  Again.  Sorry, I get lost in my other writing and then neglect this.  Doesn’t help that my teams suck, as you know.  I’ll try to be more on top of it next week.  I would have picked the Jets on Thursday, just FYI. hehe No credit for not doing it though!  I can’t think of a DT off the top of my head, I feel like I had one picked last weekend but it’s gone now.  Oh yeah, now I know.  Jake Delhomme!  4 more picks!  May he repeat the process this week!

Philly over Atlanta:  ATL got a win against my Bucs by the skin of their teeth.  Philly is worlds greater than the Bucs despite their injuries and age.  And no, McNabb, Atlanta should not give Michael Vick a standing O.  They should give him the finger.  I’m glad he’s as ineffectual as I thought he’d be in his return.  Ha.

Chicago over St. Louis:  Congrats, Bears fans, you’ve found a team that you should shred.  The Rams are horrible.  Unless Cutler pulls a Delhomme (which we know he could), this should be an easy win.

Cincy over Detroit:  Bengals, you’ve had your hiccup against a shit team.  Do not defy me by having another one.  Detroit, give me back my Calvin Johnson.  Kisses!

Indy over Tennessee:  I know, Tenn could win their 6th straight and take this thing.  I’m well aware of it.  But you know my rule.  In Manning I trust.  Period.  Do you think that last week he just decided to slack off for 2 quarters to see if he could mount a comeback?  I do.  It’s nice to see Vince Young back to being the player he was in college, hope it continues.

Denver over KC:  So glad I went with the Giants last week.  Not.  I give up on those guys.  Something is very wrong there.  I still have no faith in Kyle Orton but they’re playing KC.  That’s not hard.

New England over Miami:  I have no words for that debacle on Monday night.  I really wanted to see a close game but it was over fairly quickly in my eyes.  NE’s defense is just ugly and their O can’t carry them this year.  Brady is not all the way back and until he is, that defense is going to be a huge liability.  I still can’t figure out Miami but they lost their QB and RB in the last few weeks, so I think NE may be able to handle them.  Who knows though?

Pittsburgh over Oakland:  The champs are just too beat up this year.  And lifeless.  But Oakland has been dead for years, so this is not a problem.

New Orleans over Washington:  Hahah  Am I allowed to make an undefeated team my lock of the week?  Yeah, I make the rules around here so I think I will.  This should be a trouncing of epic proportions.

Tampa Bay over Carolina:  Yeah, you read that right.  Tampa should have beaten Carolina the first time out and this time Freeman is at the helm.  Yep, somewhere along the line I got faith in a rookie QB.  He has talent, he just needs some more talent around him.  Lots more.  Delhomme threw 3 picks last time we played, hope to see that again.

Jacksonville over Houston:  I have no idea here, really.  Both of these teams are insane.

San Diego over Cleveland:  Again, you’re welcome SD.  Do they have the easiest schedule in the league?  Since I called them soft they’ve played mostly shit teams and racked up the points.  I won’t believe in them until I see them defeat someone good, but Cleveland is not good.  Not remotely.

Dallas over New York Giants:  I’m finally done with the Giants.  It only took me about 5 weeks too long.  Jeez.  They got old in a hurry didn’t they?  Dallas hasn’t been that great lately either but they’re actually winning so I’ll go with them.

San Fran over Seattle:  I hate the NFC West nearly as much as I hate the AFC West.  It’s Zona and everyone else.  Every time I think SF might rise up, they fail.  Don’t fail me now 9ers.

Minnesota over Arizona:  Oooh this has the makings of a fun game.  Should be some scoring anyway!  I’ve learned not to pick against Favre and the boys in purple this year and it’s served me well.  AZ can look great one week and crappy the next.  Warner’s coming off his concussion and I don’t much like that.  Minny with the win.

Green Bay over Baltimore:  This one is a toss up but they’re in GB and Balt hasn’t impressed me in recent weeks.  They came back down to earth with a thud didn’t they?  GB, meanwhile, is playing pretty well since they’re Tampa debacle.  GB with the win.

I should have done a Bobby Bowden blog this week.  I thought of it briefly but wasn’t really in the mood at the time but I’d be remiss if I didn’t say something so here it is.  I’m truly sorry that it went down this way.  Bobby deserved better, it’s true, but he also put the school in this position by stubbornly hanging on.  I’ve been ready and willing for him to leave for the past few years at least.  And I love Bobby.  I always will.  I’m one of those people that looks at him like a grandfather.

I know what he did for the school.  I know he made football at Florida State.  But Bobby should want for FSU to be the team that he made into a powerhouse and they’re not.  They haven’t been since 2000, the departure of Mark Richt.  Hiring snafus have followed, none worse than Jeff Bowden himself.  Fans had to sit back and watch Florida become the powerhouse of the state and it wasn’t fun.  We have lost to the Gators 5 years in a row, none of the games even close.  Miami is back on the rise while we remain stagnant.  Bobby shouldn’t want that and it’s quite clear that he can’t fix it, he’s had 8 years to do so and it hasn’t happened.

My heart breaks for losing him and that he was forced out.  I longed for him to decide to retire and have a beautiful year in the sun, saying goodbye to fans the right way but he refused to do it.  Immovable force met immovable mountain.  It sucks.  I’m not happy about it but I’m not going to cry to see him go at this point.  I will always love Bobby and be grateful to him for what he built.  I think he should want to see it built again and he doesn’t have the time or ability to do it himself.  I will be cheering for him in his final bowl game and I’m thankful we squeaked into one (which we never ever should have to do).  Yes, I expect excellence.  Bobby Bowden made me that way.  I want to stay that way and I want my school to achieve it.  Bobby will be missed but I’m sorry, it was time.

So there you have my thoughts.  I’m not happy about what transpired but I do feel like the school’s hand was forced.  FSU looks like shit for it and I can’t disagree with that but it had to happen.  Eviscerate my opinion if you wish!

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Football Quick Hits

I didn’t see enough college football this weekend to do a blog on it, so I decided to do a combo of the NCAA and NFL weekend that was.  I’m just going to list the things that are on my mind in both leagues, no rhyme or reason to the thought pattern, just hang with me, okay?

• 2-4 & 0-5.  Those are the records of my teams.  The Noles are abysmal on offense, I don’t even recognize the team on the field anymore.  I’m glad to say that I probably watched less than 5 minutes of them because I knew they’d lose.  Same goes for the Bucs.  Philly scored on their second play.  McNabb, broken ribs and all, threw a 51 yard TD with no pressure on him whatsoever.  I declared the game over and watched the Giants so I could watch David Carr.  I declare myself the winner there.
• Not that I was allowed to watch him for long.  The Giants finally put him in the game when they were up by 4 touchdowns but I got to see about 2 minutes before they cut away to Detroit/Pittsburgh.  Normally I am a proponent of not being forced to watch a blowout (see the Bucs/Philly nonwatch on my part for proof) but depriving me of The Pretty was uncalled for, especially with my teams sucking right and left.  Most uncool, CBS.
• Oh, and speaking of CBS cutaways, they have the choppiest cuts I’ve ever seen.  You’re watching something happen and abruptly you’re back with JB in the booth.  JB is talking and then abruptly cut into a game in progress with NO warning.  Get that under control, morons.
• So…LSU/UF.  I saw a couple minutes in a bar.  What I noticed?  UF does not look like the powerhouse run away #1 that the world would have us believe.  I need to see them play a good offense and see what happens.  Tebow for Heisman?  Somehow I don’t think so.  Florida’s offensive numbers are way down this year.
• Ole Miss should never have been in the top 10 and they should never have been ranked.  Therefore Bama’s win means very little to me.  Call when they play someone (and no I don’t consider Va Tech someone either, cream of the ACC is cream of nothing this year).
• I finally get on the 49ers bandwagon and they proceed to lose by 35 to Atlanta.  Thanks for that, really.  I think I can write off the NFC West again this year.
• That includes Seattle, who killed Jacksonville 41-0.  Again, a lovely pick by me.  To be fair, I did say it was a coin toss on that game.  Of course, 41 to 0 doesn’t really back up that statement, but I didn’t know who to pick.  I picked wrong.
• The Rams are clearly the worst team in the league.  Period.  Apparently they’ve lost 15 straight dating back to last year.  Awesome.  Let’s go 0-27 boys, give me the dream the Lions deprived me of.  0-16 again would be fabulous!
• Of course my Bucs may very well go 0-16, which would then be 0-20 dating back to last year.  So pretty, so pleasant.  I’d like to congratulate Tampa again on their stellar offseason moves from coach firings to vet dumpings to scheme changes to terrible drafts.  Beautiful, really.  I think I saw Derrick Brooks going into the grocery store today, I should have stopped him and begged him to come back, in any capacity.
• The Mannings own the NFL.  That is all.
• Houston defied me yet again.  I will continue to pick them until they decide to do what I demand.  Do not test me, Texans.
• I would rather have had the dentist drill my tooth with no Novocain than watch the Browns/Bills.  Congrats on getting your first win, Cleveland.  You should be proud.  Or ashamed.  I’m going with ashamed.
• How long til Jim Zorn gets the axe?  One more week?  Two?  Another week that Washington gives a team it’s first win.  Should have been 3 weeks in a row were it not for Tampa’s collapse.  Hail to the Redskins indeed.
• Denver never would have won that game if Tom Brady was Tom Brady.  I’m still not a believer, though they are better than I thought they’d be.  I’ll never get on a ship that’s captained by Kyle Orton though, I’m sorry.
• Do you think Dallas is proud of that win today?  Should they be?  Kansas City, OT, a couple lucky catch/runs by Miles Austin?  I would not be celebrating if I were big D.  Nothing more than a mediocre team.
• The Feel good Favre story continues.  I am so tired of it.  Wake me if he does anything in the playoffs, and he just might thanks to the team around him.  But…he takes another slap at Green Bay by calling the Vikings team the best he’s ever been on.  I’m sure his Super Bowl team was thrilled with that.  He is a dick and I feel for Packer fans.  Even if you think it’s true, there are things you just don’t need to say.
• So how much whining can we get from the Ravens this week?  Every single call against them on that final drive was legit and Ray Ray can pat himself on the back for his personal foul penalty that kept a drive alive.  Moron.
• Denver, you might just want to stop rushing punters on 4th and short.  It’s not worth the inevitable penalty.
• Making a QB that is starting only his second game throw 50 passes is a recipe for disaster.  Again, Tampa is doing everything wrong and apparently the Bucs might have a blackout this weekend.  I better get A game to watch, don’t care if it’s not my team, show me someone.
• I guess I should weigh in on the Bobby Bowden should he stay or should he go controversy.  A couple of years ago I would have come out with a blog defending the man to high heaven and saying he could decide when to leave.  That was even after some mediocre seasons and terrible personnel decisions (The Jeff Bowden era, ladies and gentleman).  This year?  No defense.  I don’t think he should be fired, obviously, but he needs to go.  The talent is there but the team is not good.  The defense is worse than I’ve eve seen it.  Players are dropping perfectly thrown passes, fumbling all over the place, their hearts just are not in the game.  That is a coaching issue in my opinion.  I don’t think he has the team anymore.  I doubt that Fisher is the answer but it’s time to give someone else a try.
• That being said, I don’t think boosters should be out in the media demanding his resignation.  He has earned loyalty and respect in his 34 years at FSU.  Keep the demands for resignation out of the media at least.

I think that about covers it.  I know I was NFL heavy but I really was gone for all the good games on Saturday night and well, my interest has clearly waned.  I was begging for the season to start and it’s been a major let down to me personally but I still love the game.  I will keep watching even though my teams are letting me down.  I’ll just cheer for the good teams and good players.  Might do an NFL ranking blog sometime this week, trying to figure out the elite.  That’s if I get inspired, of course.  If not, see you for picks!

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The Top 10 Changes Again

Time, space and college football shut down at this moment.

Another wild weekend in college football, with 4 more “supposedly” top 10 teams falling again.  I mean, seriously, can we stop ranking these bastards until October at least?  It’s getting a bit ridiculous.  The only 3 teams that I can say legitimately belong in the top 10, and I’d argue against one of them anyway, are Alabama, Texas and Florida.  Florida, however, has not played anybody yet so I’ll confirm or deny them after their Oct. 10 matchup with LSU.  Who is also in the top 10 but barely won (no offense, Paxton!)

Of course, before I discuss the games, I would be remiss if I did not address the “hit heard round the world” aka the hit that knocked Tim Tebow out of the KY/UF game.  According to ESPN, Gator Nation (puhlease) is waiting with baited breath!  Should we start a candlelight vigil?  Prayer chain?  I guess I should thank old Teebs for taking my teams failure out of the spotlight, but you know I just can’t find it in me to do so.  The kid has a concussion, no doubt about it.  Welcome to football, about time you got injured.

Of course, he shouldn’t have even been playing in the first place, should he?  It seems the Gators have been hit with some “respiratory illness” otherwise known as they have the SWINE FLU but the lying liar who lies known as Urban Meyer doesn’t want to admit it.  And Timmy is one of those sick players.  But God forbid that The Chosen One miss a game so Urbs had him and some other players flown up separately.  Kudos to the cameras for catching that kid puking on the sideliness, quite attractive by the way.  Look, Urban, you were playing KY.  You could have started your third string QB and won that game.  So, it’s on you that Timmy got injured.  You and you alone.  He should have been in bed popping his tamiflu and feeling like a zombie, that’s what I did and I survived, didn’t hit my head or anything.  Sadly UF actually has an off week next week so the concussion is probably not gonna factor in later.   A shame, Meyer deserves to pay for his hubris.

While I’m at it, I want to compliment the KY fans that ignored Meyer’s respiratory bullshit and sported face masks near the Gator bench.  Kudos, compliments, brilliance!  Hilarity, really.  Since I had swine flu and know of what I speak, I have to tell you that it was mortifying to me to show up at the docs office and have all of the assistants wearing masks in my presence.  I felt a bit like a freak, even though it made sense.  So I admire the mask idea against the Gators.

Have I spent enough time discussing Tebow?  I feel like I should have a word requirement for the amount of time spent talking about his awesomeness…will they ban my blog if I fail to meet it?  Issues!  Anyway, moving on, it was a terrible day for the ACC.  I know I tease AGO about the Pac-10 but my conference is no better.  The one legit team in the division this year, Miami, got the shit kicked out of them by Va Tech.  I went into that game fully expecting Miami to win and win big due to Va Tech’s anemic offense, but no.  It was raining and apparently that makes Va Tech’s offense pretty good, who knew?  Or Miami’s defense sucks.  Or Miami just sucks and everybody was so anxious to have them back that they got it wrong.  Or the conference just sucks.  I’m going with the latter.

How could I not after my Noles lost to USF yesterday.  And they didn’t lose to USF’s senior QB Matt Grothe, who had been lighting up the league for a couple of years.  That I could probably have understood (no, I really couldn’t have but I could have pretended a little).  No, they lost to a redshirt sophomore QB (from Tallahassee no less, slap in the face there).  And it’s not like Ponder had a bad game either.  He was fine, it was everyone else who had issues. You know, the 5 guys who fumbled?  Not to mention the drops?  Not to mention the untimely holds and penalties?  Yeah, ugly game.  So ugly that I saw the writing on the wall and stopped watching at halftime.  I think the entire secondary needs to be benched after the terrible play.  Two 70+ yard touchdowns, are you kidding me?  Where the hell was the safety?  Who the hell is the safety?  He’s fired!  I wish the coaching staff could be fired (yeah I said it, blasphemy) too.  The 99 championship team (ahhh, I love you!!!!) was honored at the half and someone quoted Peter Warrick (such a stud in college, such a failure in the NFL) as saying that the players weren’t hungry like they used to be.  And he’s right.  And that?  That is on the coaches my friends.  You get your team up to play every week, not just when they’re playing a top 10 team and feeling dissed.  Farewell Noles, maybe next year (now I sound like a Cubs fan…these bastards are killing me!)

Sorry, obligatory Nole rant is over.  Let’s discuss the not-so-top 10 now.  Weeks ago my friend was railing at me about how Ole Miss did not belong in the top 10 and it was the worst ranking he’d ever seen.  I thought it was hilarious so I kept telling him that the Rebels were the new powerhouse in the league, the new USC.  He got mad, it was fun.  I didn’t buy it, of course, but what’s the fun of sports without giving each other shit?  Anyway, the Mighty Rebels lost to South Carolina of all teams.  You know me, I’m all about the Cocks, even minus the Smelley factor, but really?  No top 10 team should ever lose to the Cocks.  It just isn’t done.  And for weeks we’d been hearing about what a stud the QB of Ole Miss was but he managed to put up something like 10 pts against the Cock D?  Enjoy your fall, Rebels, won’t be that far since everyone else lost but whatever.

Who’s next?  Oh yeah, Penn State!  YAY!  I’m sorry, I am a JoePa hater from Day 1 and it has nothing to do with Bobby Bowden either.  I just find him to be a crotchety old bastard and can’t stand him.  And I find it amusing that somehow Iowa (who nearly lost to Northern Iowa in week one) manages to beat them every year, at the the supposedly intimidating Happy Valley.  If you want to intimidate people, I don’t think you should play in a place called “Happy”.  I’m just sayin.  Anyway, Ferentz really has JoePa’s number.  The QB, Clark, threw pick after pick in the second half to help Iowa ice the game.  I actually watched and enjoyed that one, go figure.

Okay, just to demonstrate how ridiculous the rankings are, let’s look at this score.  Unranked Oregon 42, #6 Cal 3.  3!  It’s not like they lost by a little in a competitive game, they lost by 39.  39!  Ooops, math found it’s way into my blog again, sorry about that.  I could potentially get excited about the rise of Oregon, but why bother?  I know they’ll crap the bed against USC like they always do, so no point in being thrilled at their performance.  USC only loses to teams that never should beat them, not teams that should hang.  By the way, the sucky thing about all these top 10 losses?  USC will be ranked 7 or 8 this week, wait and see.  Pete Carroll’s not going to have to whine, threaten or cajole their way back into the championship hunt, everyone else is laying down before them.  Ugh.

I already talked about Miami/Va Tech, who will also vault back into the top 10 despite their crappy offense (I am calling yesterday’s game an anomaly until I see more from the Hokies on a weekly basis).  I mentioned LSU’s struggles with Miss State, but they survived so that’s what it’s all about I guess.  Nobody else is.  Get better though, I want the Gators to go down in 2 weeks.

For more stellar play from the ACC, Clemson lost to TCU, #22 UNC lost to Georgia Tech (fresh off their thrashing by Miami) and Maryland got hammered by Rutgers.  Oh, and my morons lost to USF, can’t forget that.  Only NC State rose up and beat Pitt.  Oh and Duke won!  They beat the mighty N Carolina Central someoneorothers.  Yeah, crappy day for the conference…I’d say we’re as bad as the Big Least but we can’t even beat them, so why bother?

I guess that’s the main happenings from the weekend.  Nobody is impressing me consistently besides Texas and they’ve not played anybody really so only time will tell there.  The top 10 rankings should be rather amusing today, like I said, USC and VA Tech will make leaps, Ohio State will move up some…who else?  And will it matter next week when more lose?  No, not at all.  Gear up for that USC/FL championship game people, it’s coming because the football gods are cruel.  Back with you next week!

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College Football Knowledge Week 3

I couldn't find the stunned face from the McKnight fumble but this one was a pretty good representation of USC's performance yesterday.

Here’s what I know…that I know a whole lot of nothing.  Has any team dominated all their games yet this season?  Has parity really spread that far that the have-nots have become the haves and the haves are still the haves but they’re not as stocked as they used to be?  That might be one of the more confusing sentences I’ve ever typed but hopefully you get my point.  Yes, we still have some undefeated power house teams but have they really looked THAT impressive?  Texas went to the wire with Texas Tech last night.  Florida beat Tenn by only 10 when everyone assumed that they’d beat them by 50+.  Penn State has played nobody.  Perhaps the most impressive team is Miami, which seems weird to say but they demolished GA Tech and squeaked by the Noles who dominated BYU yesterday.  Confusing.

One thing I do know?  USC lost.  USC lost to Washington, who I believe went winless last year.  Yes, they’re better this year, but are they THAT much better?  So good that they could beat a team that could beat some NFL teams (no lie, some jackass on ESPN said that last week about USC, I’d love to see that match-up happen frankly).  Now I know the Trojan fans are going to point to their QB and say he’s why they lost and I’ll grant you that rookie QB’s are a wildcard at all times.  But their starter is also a rookie QB, so that argument doesn’t necessarily wash.  Plus, if USC is THAT good that we should all be bowing down before their presence, then they should have been able to win despite poor QB performance.  Their future all-pro running backs should have been able to make things happen, no?  Their much vaunted defense should have been able to get some turnovers and even some points, right?  Their speedy WRs should have been able to get some kind of separation, running reverses and such.  Did any of that happen?  I only saw highlights but I didn’t notice it.  I saw McKnight fumble.  I saw some other kid fumble.  I saw that the defense let Washington get to the 4 yard line with 7 seconds left.  So yeah, the Corp kid was part of the problem but he was not the whole of it.  Two weeks in a row USC has looked more than human…they should have lost to Ohio State as well.  So thank your lucky stars you’re not 1-2 and stop your bitching Trojan fans.  We all know you’ll still be in the BCS at the end because the voters can’t stand to not have you there and you still play in a crappy conference.

Are you impressed that I held off to talk about my Noles til the 3rd paragraph?  I am!  For the first time in years my team looked like my team again.  Demolishing an opponent, a top 10 opponent!, on the road.  Christian Ponder was efficient, standing back and surveying the field and making great throws, throwing it away when he had nothing and running at the perfect times.  The defense was not up to the 90’s standard that I still hold them to, a decade later, but they did get some takeaways and were opportunistic.  Fortson, who dropped that TD against Miami that would have us 3-0, was phenomenal again.  Maybe he’s figured it out.  All I know is that I want to see that team on the field every week.  I don’t know if they were just mad about all the BYU talk but they need to capture that emotion and bring it, even when they’re playing the Jacksonville States of the world.  Dominate.  Crush.  Destroy.  That is what I want.  Is it too much to ask?

Speaking of dominating…Florida didn’t do that did they?  All week long we heard about how Lane Kiffin’s criticism of UF during the offseason would drive them to run it up all day and night.  Well, either Tennessee is way better than we thought they were (and they lost to UCLA last week) or Florida is not as good as we’ve been led to believe.  If Tenn’s QB could have completed some passes we might very well have had another top 10 team go down yesterday.  I know I exited this game feeling that Florida can now be had and maybe we shouldn’t start engraving the national championship trophy yet.

How great was that Nebraska/Va Tech ending yesterday?  I was screaming much of the game about Va Tech’s anemic offense and when Nebraska kicked them the ball with less than 2 mins to go I figured no way in hell they’d drive the field and score.  One 85 yard pass play later, they were knocking on the door.  Of course then T-Mobile (HA) got sacked and I thought they were done again.  But on the next play he ran all over the field, eluding defenders and directing traffic. Touchdown.  It was an awesome play.  I still think Va Tech should try to get a damn QB but Taylor had his moment to shine right there.  Va Tech’s main problem is they rely too heavily on their special teams and defense.  If they would actually build an offense they might be that team that steamrolls the competition.  But no, Beemer is of the Tressel school of football thought, conservative, conservative, conservative.  I got news for you, conservative is boring and it bites you on the ass eventually.  See Ohio State last week.

So Notre Dame finally managed to beat Michigan State.  Yay for them.  I suppose they’ll vault back into the national championship discussion now, despite the fact that their defense gave up 30 points.

How great was that UGA/Arkansas game yesterday?  I admit I wasn’t watching it the whole time but every time I flipped over there someone was scoring.  Ark looked like they were going to run away with it but the Dawgs fought back and took home a hard fought win.  I’d like to see Georgia play like that every week, they might make some noise in the BCS themselves.

Awww Tim Tebow’s 30 game TD passing streak went bye bye.  As did his lack of turnovers.  A pick and a fumble?  No Heisman for you Timmy!  Sorry, I couldn’t resist.  Actually sitting and watching the majority of that game and hearing Gary Danielson wax poetic about Teebs for 3 hours brings out the bitch in me, what can I say?  Right now McCoy is my Heisman winner, mind you it’s early.

So I think that’s the main stuff I wanted to discuss today.  Another fun week with top 10 teams falling…at this rate will anybody be undefeated at the end of the year?  I can’t wait to find out.  See you next week!

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College FB Knowledge

Week 2 is in the books, my friends.  College football is back and my morons have already disappointed me two weeks in a row, even with a win yesterday. I mean, really, it took them 4 quarters to beat Jacksonville State?  There are no words, none at all for that idiocy.  Dead to me, Noles.  I mean, they showed up against Miami but not Jax State? I hate having an irrelevant football team, I really do.  This will be yet another trying year.

But enough about the Noles.  Clearly they are not important again this year, so why waste my words?  The first two weeks have seen a couple of top 10’s get knocked off, a couple get a scare, Notre Dame knocked off their illustrious mantle (What else is new?) and Pete Carroll crapping his pants.  Okay, I don’t know that the last one happened but he had to have been sweating it in Columbus last night, right?

Let’s talk about Notre Dame, shall we?  I mean, everyone else was, ad nauseum, for 2 straight weeks, so I may as well do it too.  For two weeks, after they defeated Nevada of all teams, we had to hear that Notre Dame was back.  They destroyed some nobody and therefore they were national champions again.  Um…no, not so much.  Now we’ll get to hear about how Michigan is back, which I am not willing to concede to at this time.  Notre Dame was overrated so we’ll see what Michigan does soon.  They’re in the hands of a freshman QB, who was great except for one throw yesterday.

As for ND, they need to work on their defense if they ever want to be considered “back”.  Clausen’s a fine QB but by the time that D is up to par he’ll be graduated.  See ya next year, ND, though the pollsters will probably still rank you because that’s how they roll.

I’m not done with Notre Dame related commentary yet either.  May I ask, yet again, why in the hell Lou Holtz is still employed by ESPN?  Is it to fulfill the Notre Dame ramblings required by law?  I am sick and tired of him talking about Notre Dame as if they are USC/Florida and Texas combined.  Fire the old fucker and leave the rest of us in peace.  Hate.

As I was out of commission last weekend, I didn’t get to both rejoice and commiserate with Oklahoma.  I will never cheer a player injury, with the obvious exception of Tim Tebow, so I was sad to see Sam Bradford go out with injury.  I rooted hardcore for him to get the Heisman last year (again to thwart Tebow) and it’s always sad to see a QB come back to try to win a championship after winning the Heisman and going down to injury.  But I would be hypocritical if I were to say that I was sorry that OK lost.  I hate Bob Stoops, I will always hate Bob Stoops and I will always be happy when his team loses.  OK constantly loses to ranked teams and it cracks me up whenever they go down.  They have to play Miami in a couple weeks, it’ll be interesting to see how they do and who their QB is.  Their freshman was way overmatched against BYU when he got in the game.  He looked petrified.

Is there a more confounding team out there than Oklahoma State?   They look great against Georgia a week ago and then this week they lose to Houston.  Not gonna unseat the Texas and Oklahoma’s of the world if you can’t be consistent.

Props to Ohio State for looking much better, even in a loss, this week.  Last week they got eviscerated for their performance against Navy but I have seen many a team look foolish against the triple option.  Seems to me that if you have a good and quick defense, that triple option works against you.  I’ve seen it time and again when Ga Tech plays against teams like my Noles and Miami.  They’re quick to get to where the ball should be but the option moves it right past them.  It’s quite annoying.  Anyway, I’d say the Buckeye D redeemed itself pretty well last night.  Pryor did not have a good game, yet again.  They need to get their youngun prepared for the big games.

I have nothing to say about Teblow at the moment.  Wake me when Florida plays against a real team.

Since my Noles have annoyed me again, I have decided to take Boise State into my loving arms.  I have enjoyed them since they beat Oklahoma a couple years ago and they continue to be an awesome little team, poised to run the table yet again and BCS bust yet again.  That offense is a thing of beauty and I again reiterate the fact that I was calling for the Noles to hire their Offensive Coordinator 2 years ago.  His creativity coupled with our athletes…I could cry.  Plus, they’re not only awesome, they play on a blue field.  What more could you want?

I guess I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about that Oregon player that got suspended after the Boise State game.  I have never seen a player go after another player and then fans that way.  I’m glad he’s out for the year though I think it’s pretty ludicrous that he gets to continue to work out with the team.  Whatever, we’ll see if he ever gets to the NFL.

I think that’s all I really have to say about the first two weeks.  I’ll be more on top of things from here on out, I promise!  Back next weekend with more!

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Nole’s Notes

Nothing brings out the manlove like winning the Super Bowl. Photo from Getty Images.

Now that the NFL season is officially over, I guess I have to turn my attention to other sports.  I’ll be honest with you, other sports do not entrance me the way football does, but I do pay attention to headlines and major happenings for the most part.  So I’ve decided to do a weekly Notes Blog wherein I discuss the major sports happenings of the week.  It will be football, baseball, tennis, hockey, basketball, whatever strikes my fancy.  Without further ado, let’s hit it!

• Today is national signing day for the college recruits.  Well, most of them, for some reason some of them don’t commit today and commit several weeks from now.  So why have a deadline?  I really don’t get that.  Anyway, today us college football lovers get excited about all of these random people we never heard of before and get depressed over missing out on other top recruits.  I hope on espn.com and seminoles.com to find out what my Noles are doing and where they’re rated and who we’ve got and who we might get.  I get rather obsessive about it and refresh every half hour or so.  And today I ask myself why?  I don’t know these kids.  I don’t know anything about them other than somebody slammed 5 stars next to this guy and only 3 next to that guy.  Doesn’t really mean they’ll kick butt on the field, I’ve seen many of the top recruits flame out over the years.  But still, I care, and I get excited!  Go Noles!  We did land the top DT in the nation apparently, which pleases me, as well as high rated cornerbacks and safeties and a kicker.  All positions of major need so I’m content.  So, hope you’re having a blast college football gurus, may your school land those top recruits and may everybody decommit from USC and UF just because I hate them.
• So everybody’s all up in arms about this Michael Phelps marijuana smoking picture.  Some of the morons in the media blasted him for letting his picture get taken.  Hello, I don’t believe he knew it was.  Also, he is a 23 year old and he will do the occasional stupid thing.  That’s what happens in the early 20’s.  He admitted it, which was pretty stand up of him, because I saw the picture and it really didn’t even look that much like him.  I’d have gone with the lie personally, but then I happen to be an accomplished and awesome liar.  Now apparently the police are thinking of charging him.  Can you charge someone for a picture?  I mean, you may as well hit myspace right now and get your warrants ready.  What a bunch of bull.  Leave him alone, lesson learned, moving on, get in the pool and win some more gold medals in 4 years.  Thanks, buh bye.
• Apparently indictment records against Bonds were released this week and lo and behold, he tested positive for steroids.  This is GROUND BREAKING NEWS.  I was not aware of this information!!!!  I mean, I know he doubled his size right in front of our very eyes a couple years ago, but I assumed it was natural.  He was probably hitting Taco Bell and McDonald’s every night.  I can grow to twice my size very easily when I do that and I’m not on the roids!  Truly, I am sick of this story.  Get a trial going or don’t, I really don’t care anymore.  I am tired of Barroid and want him gone.  It doesn’t matter if he goes to jail or just goes home and counts his money and throws baseballs at passers by from his bedroom window.  Just go away!
• Roger Clemens, the same goes to you.  We know you did roids, you know you did roids, why are we all still talking about it?  Government, put up or shut up.  We’ll see if the vengeful media punishes Roger and Barry or if they usher them into the hall of fame with their not very valid we don’t know when he used argument.  If you’re going to keep Big Mac and Palmiero and others out, you keep those two out too.  Period.
• Kobe broke the scoring record at Madison Square Gardens the other night, got 61 there I guess.  That’s cool I suppose, not as cool as the 81 he got a couple of years ago.  It appears that nobody will ever beat Wilt’s record which is a shame, I live to watch records fall and I would actually tune in to a basketball game if there’s a possible scoring record on the line.
• What was going on in Pittsburgh on Tuesday?  I’ve seen some clips of the Super Bowl celebration party and that was the quietest damn crowd I’ve ever seen.  What, #6 is just passe now?  Ramp up the celebration, peeps!  Bring the energy, it’s cold out there so you should be yelling and whooping it up!  Perhaps William Gay’s retarded rap song stunned them all into silence.  I could understand that.  The record execs will not be knocking down your door Willie.
• Manny Ramirez remains unsigned and the Dodgers are getting a little bit tired of him turning down their rather large contract offers.  Albert Pujols of my St. Louis Cardinals is pushing for my spendthrift owners to get off their butts and bring him there.  At first I was horrified by this idea but then I thought of the beauty of having and Albert/Manny combo at 3/4 and I decided I could suck it up and deal with the Manny drama.  Do it!  Do it now, Cards!  It’s not like you’ve bothered to do anything to improve the team this off season, so there should be some cash lying around for Manny.  Albert with keep him reigned in, I have faith in that!
• I guess there was some epic tennis this past weekend.  Can’t say that I watched, but Federer/Nadal round 2938293 or whatever it was was a long battle that drained them both.  Nadal came out the victor and Federer had a heartfelt teary speech.  Nadal came back with his own honoring Federer.  Awesome display of sportsmanship.  Serena won again as well, go Williams Sisters.  I don’t follow the sport but I do follow them and I love that she’s still winning at an age when most tennis chicks are retiring.
• The Cardinals offensive coordinator is interviewing for the KC job.  He and Pioli have a history together so that’s a pretty good possibility.  If he goes that will probably be good for the Cards when it comes to retaining Boldin, but who can say what it means for Warner?  Haley’s done a great job with that offense and deserves another head coaching job.
• I didn’t do a Super Bowl commentary, by the time I thought about it I was immersed in Heroes blogging and Days drama and Idol in Hollywood, so the opportunity slipped past me.  But I will say that was the best Super Bowl I’ve ever seen.  I know it was quiet in the 3rd quarter but since I knew that AZ could score quickly I remained riveted.  Worked out well all in all.  My heart was broken for the Cards, that had to have been a major gut punch to lose; but the football fan in me was thrilled with the last minute TD by Santonio Holmes.  Gorgeous play, fantastic game.
• There should have been a longer review of the Warner fumble at the end of the game.  I hate to have a game that good end somewhat questionably.  No matter where you fell on was it or wasn’t it, you have to agree it should have gotten more than cursory glance in the booth.  I would have loved to see Warner get a shot at the end zone with Fitz and Boldin waiting.

So those are the big things on my mind this week.  I hope you liked this format, I’ll be happy to stick with it if people like it.  If it seems like I’m just talking to myself I’ll call it quits, because I talk to myself all the time and I could save myself some future carpal tunnel treatment if ya’ll don’t like it.  Let me know!

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Live Bowl Blog

So, since today is the last major day of college football action, with games all day long and myself firmly planted in my favorite recliner for the duration, I figured it would be the perfect time to live blog the action.  My plan is to post and edit this blog periodically with updates and reactions to all the action.

I must begin by complimenting myself on managing to get the majority of my picks wrong.  I knew it would be a fruitless effort to pick all the games, but I didn’t think I’d do quite as badly as I did.  My mistake?  Picking with my heart over my head.  Just because I hate Notre Dame was no reason not to pick them when I knew they would probably win.  This bit me on the ass and I’ve learned for next year.  Also, I had far too much confidence in the ACC, mistaking parity for mediocrity.  And the Pac-10 and Big East seem to have been insulted by my lack of belief in them, so they’re rising up and making me pay.  Seriously, I think they only have one loss between them.  And they sucked all year!  Bastards.

At least I got the best game right, my Noles kicked the living crap out of Wisconsin.  It was nice to see us on the giving end of that sort of game instead of the receiving end for once.  The Badgers kept it close in the first half but thanks to some turnovers the Noles had a 14-3 lead, then they came out in the second half and pounded the hell out of them.  It was great!  Made me feel good about next year, which is probably stupid.  Me and my ridiculous hope.  Oh well, I’m still enjoying the win.  Gano for MVP.  I am gonna miss having a good kicker next year.  Sigh.

Since Paxton has already pimped me on this, I feel the need to address my lovely pick of GA Tech over LSU.  Firstly, I thought that crappy Lee was going to start for them, so I assumed GA Tech would have at least 3 or 4 turnovers right there.  Secondly, it was that ACC thing again.  Really, GA Tech confounded the hell out of most of the rest of the league so I presumed they could do that to LSU, who was having a down year defensively.  Obviously, I was a tad bit off.  I couldn’t even watch that game it got to blowout status so quickly.   I think I last flipped over when it was 28-3 and I just gave up on that one.

I also seem to have managed to lose a ton of close games.  If it was decided by a touchdown or less, I almost inevitably got the game wrong.  That shouldn’t count against me, I was close!  hehe  No excuses though, it was a bad bad showing by me and it’s continuing already today.

Okay, on to some live commentary.  I’m starting the day off with an impressive 0-1.  It’s early of course but Iowa is up 21-0 before the half so I’m going to assume that they manage to hold on.  I think South Carolina has about 4 turnovers at this point.  Who to blame for this one?  You know who I’m gonna blame.  It’s Spurrier’s fault.  What in the hell is he doing depriving me of watching Smelley and instead starting Garcia?  I believe Smelley is a senior and therefore he should be able to play this final game so I can have one more time of writing about Smelley’s Cocks.  What is the man thinking?  This is clearly a vendetta due to my hatred of him over the years, he’s trying to get back at me by taking away my one potential joy in this stupid game.  The Cocks just got their first turnover after I typed this, so perhaps I’m inspiring them to new heights.  Or I’m giving Garcia the opportunity to throw a 5th pick before the half.  HA!  He just threw the ball right into an Iowa guys hands but he dropped it.  He’s trying his best to live up to my lofty standards clearly.  That or he’s trying to ensure that I get to see Smelley in the second half.  He better hope so because that’s the only way I’ll be watching the second half.

Okay, that’s enough for now, I’ll be back after one with some commentary on the Clemson/Nebraska and Georgia/Michigan State games, as well as hopefully some Smelley sightings!

I’m back with a mini-rant.  When is ESPN going to fire Mark May and Lou Holtz and make the world a more enjoyable place?  I can’t even tolerate listening to them at halftime and that’s all I have at this moment.  This insipid Ask Dr. Lou segment made me want to hurl my shoe through my TV.  I could do this since I’m getting a new one sometime this month, but I think I’ll wait til the new one arrives before destroying the old one.  Mumble Mouth adds nothing to the broadcast and I’m sick of him.  I’m also sick of Regis and Notre Dame.  That’s right, Reeg, accept the mediocrity and find something else to do or someone better to root for.  USC has room on their bandwagon.  That’s all, I just had to express my displeasure with halftime.

Well now I’m being forced to watch a few more minutes of Iowa/SC because it is not yet 1 pm and the good players, like my Knowshon!, are not yet on the field.  Saw Spurrier at halftime and he said he was sticking with Garcia.  Now I have proof that he’s out to get me.  Sure, stick with the guy who has forgotten what team he plays for instead of going to Smelley and giving me one shred of delight in this, another bowl loss for me.  Wait a minute!  It was a trick!!!!  Smelley is wearing a helmet!!! Garcia is not!!!  Nole wins!  I should have known Spurrier was lying, it’s all he ever does!  At least this lie has pleased me.  Smelley and the Cocks are on the field.  Can you feel the turnaround happening?  Good lord, Smelley throws a nice 9 yard pass and the receiver fumbles the ball, Iowa’s ball.  Clearly not Smelley’s fault, but also clearly not going to be good for the Cocks.  I give up, they even managed to ruin Smelley’s triumphant return.

Now that I’m officially done with the Outback Bowl, I will instead focus on GA/Mich State and some on Clemson/Nebraska, though I find the first game far more interesting than the last.  Two of the best running backs in the game will be going head to head and though I predict GA with a big win, I will enjoy watching Javon Ringer get some carries against that defense.  I will also enjoy seeing my boyfriend Knowshon Moreno for what could be his last college game.  Love him so!  It’s windy in Orlando so we’ll see how the game goes.

Ha, not to break topic but I just saw on the little ticker that an anonymous Jet player was quoted as saying that Mangini wasn’t the reason they weren’t in the playoffs and that King Brett created a lot of tension in the locker room.  Apparently Thomas Jones took some shots at him over the radio too.  Hilarious!  Should make the Favre watch more interesting anyway.

Oh dear, Michigan State just stupidly tried a fake punt and of course got stopped.  You have to play field position against a team like GA, not try trickery.  They were moving the ball fairly well but that will strip all your momentum away right there.  And just like that Georgia is at the MSU 20 yard line.  Yup…big mistake Michigan State.  I admire your moxy but you weren’t smart.  On an apparent missed handoff we had Knowshon and Stafford running side by side for a several yards before Knowshon realized that he should throw a block.  They managed a first down though.  I really don’t get the hype on Stafford.  He misses way too many wide open receivers.  MSU blitzed on third down and was able to take him down, forcing a field goal.  Could have been much worse of course, but not a bad drive anyway.

I tried to watch some Clemson/Nebraska but I won’t kid you, I was bored.  Every time I flip over there, someone is punting.  Wake me when somebody does something there, I’ll stick with the better game.  Mich State punted again, but they are moving the ball pretty well on that GA defense.  GA is taking over at their own 15, so we’ll see what kind of drive they can mount here.  Well they started out well, with Knowshon taking a screen 11 yards, then Stafford threw the ball to a Michigan State player.  A personal foul tacked on and Michigan State is knocking on the goal line.  I guess the pick was partly the fault of the receiver, but still, Stafford could have thrown a better ball.  The Georgia D managed to hold them to a field goal though, so we’re all even with 4:54 left to go in the first quarter.  This game is enjoyable, unlike the other two currently airing.

Let’s just take a moment to enjoy Knowshon Moreno, shall we?  Every time he touches the ball they seem to pick up a first down, be it on a carry or a screen pass.  He’s a beautiful runner with an awesome name, thus why I declared him my college boyfriend a year ago.  I intend for him to be my pro boyfriend when he hits the NFL too.  I think he’s gonna be a good one.  Man…UGA was moving the ball again but they ran a reverse and AJ Green fumbled the ball, Michigan State ball around midfield.  This is the way to keep yourself in the game, MSU.  That’s the way to lose, Georgia.  The Georgia D responded with a nice sack following a false start penalty, so MSU is digging a big hole for themselves now.  Watch for a turnover now.  I’m impressed with the Bulldog D right now, they’re really responding and knocking Michigan State back, 3rd and 24 now.  Well of course UGA shot themselves in the foot by roughing the passer.  Bad call, it was not helmet to helmet, but still, really stupid when they had a stop.  Of course Michigan State tries another trick play that fails.  Wide receiver pass that got brought down for a loss of 6 yards, followed by Ringer getting hit for another loss.  End of the quarter…the GA D is impressive thus far.

By the way, I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.  I’ll clean this bad boy up once I’m done live blogging but for now you’ll have to endure whatever slip occurs!  Bear with me!  Why UGA just doesn’t get the ball to Knowshon every play is beyond me.  Stafford isn’t doing much of anything in this game.  Michigan State attempted a 53 yard field goal and missed, so we’re still knotted up at 3-3.  This game has stalled quite a bit.  A quick check-in with Clemson/Nebraska has Clemson at 3rd and goal.  I’ll stay here for a second.  And of course, no TD. ha.  Borrrring.  On check back, they didn’t score at all, so they must have gone for a TD.  Morons.

Well that’s crazy, Georgia’s punter dropped the ball when he tried to kick it.  Then he picked it up and tried to run but of course failed.  Sloppy game by the Georgia offense/special teams is really keeping Michigan State around.  They got the ball on the GA side again.  Michigan State got held to a field goal.  Very weird, with all 3 of their timeouts GA let about 20 seconds tick off the clock around midfield.  They finally called a timeout with 32 seconds left.  That was some stupid gameplanning.  Alright, I’m sorry, Stafford looks like crap today.  He’s nowhere near his receivers and he’s running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.  You know he’s a lock to be be Detroit’s first pick in the draft now.  Maybe I will get my back to back 0-16!  We’re headed to halftime now with MSU up 6-3 thanks to Georgia miscues.

Just as I was writing that Neb/Clemson was scoreless the Clemson D took a fumble in for a TD.  It’s about time something happened in that game.  It’s been too boring to even blog about up til this point.  A quick glance at the Outback Bowl scores shows me I missed very little, 31-10 final for Iowa.  Smelley went 16/31 for 182 yards and a TD though, unlike Garcia’s 9/18 for 79 yards and 3 picks.  Might have been a different game if Stevie had listened to me in the first place!  Oh well, farewell Smelley, I shall miss you, well not you, but your name.

Well Clemson’s doing their darndest to give the game to Nebraska now.  Just gave them a 53 yard field goal and then threw a pick with just over a minute to go in the game.  Neb has the ball at the Clemson 32…but it was picked off by Clemson!  Well that was fun!  The ball was returned to the Nebraska 13 yard line.  Talk about a momentum swing.  Of course, they follow that play with a sack and a huge loss of yards.  Hey the sacker was Suh!!!  A boy named Suh!  Nebraska does produce some good names, like my Bucs Ruud!  TD Clemson!  Threw a fade that looked like it might go out of bounds.  Well that’s some wild happenings with less than a minute left.  There’s still 35 seconds on the clock now, so I won’t presume that we’re done.  Yes, we are, they took a knee to head to the half.  Well that was cool, UGA is back now though!

Ok, real subject change now…apparently Barroid Bonds had hip surgery and won’t be ready for spring training.  I’m sorry, did I miss when he was suddenly relevant and back to playing baseball again?  Does he think anybody is going to want him now, another year removed from baseball and with a bum hip?  Why are athletes so delusional?  The ticker really is providing me with a lot to rant about today isn’t it?

We’ve had two punts to start the second half of the Capital One Bowl, with Georgia pinned deep near their end zone.  Of course Knowshon whips off 10 yards to give them some breathing room.  Just let him do everything GA.  Of course not, they let Stafford throw and he skips the ball off the ground into his wide receiver.  Pathetic game for him today.  9/18 for 93 yards so far.  Lovely.  Obligatory shot of Mom watching her son suck and smiling wryly.  Hehe love that shot.  He managed to get a first down though, so maybe they should show Mom more often.  Yeah, he had a good drive that time and threw a TD finally.  Maybe we’ll have some more action now!

Georgia’s defense gave up some yardage on the next drive but got a timely sack and held, followed by a punt that was returned 39 yards and got a 15 yard penalty added to that.  Yeah I think the momentum might have swung now.  On flip to the Clemson/Neb game, I got see a Boy named Suh get another tackle for loss.  I really can’t wait for him to get into the NFL, I love cool names!  Looks like we’ve had a momentum shift here too, Nebraska is down by 4 but stopped Clemson deep, should have great field position on the punt, except they muffed it and it looks like Clemson got the ball.  That’s one way to swing field position!  Haha.  Funny happenings in this game.

Oops, while I was watching that Georgia got a quick touchdown.  17-6 now at the end of the third quarter.  This game feels over despite the relatively close score.  We’ll see.  No sooner do I type that than GA kicks the ball out of bounds.  Nobody wants to hang on to the momentum do they?  Georgia held them, however, so maybe things are now going to go as I envisioned when I did my pick.  It’d be nice to get some right today!  Wow Georgia had to punt from the goal line but their punter bombed a 61 yarder, so MSU has the ball on their 35 instead of on GA’s side of the ball.  Nice one.

Hmmm I appear to be watching the wrong game.  Clemson scored somehow and I flip back to see Nebraska rip off a huge run to get to the Clemson 18.  58 yard run.  What happened to the snoozefest we were being treated to for most of the first half?  And Nebraska just scored a TD.  That might have taken a minute!  21-17 Clemson now.  I’ll enjoy watching this one after Georgia/Mich State is over.

Not over in the Capitol One Bowl though.  Michigan State is first and goal from the 4 right now.  And Ringer takes it in for a TD.  5 point game since the two point conversion failed.  Well we do have a game here and in the other one.  Good, much better than my Outback Bowl boredom of earlier.  Georgia is moving the ball efficiently now, at the MSU 25 with under 6 minutes to play.  This is the kind of drive they needed to put together.  Efficient short passes and heavy Knowshon runs.  Whoo hoo, touchdown for my boyfriend!  Knowshon on a 20 yard pass.  Looked like he might have been just out of bounds but his right foot touched down in bounds first so it’ll stand likely.  24-12 now with 3:43 to go.  I think we can safely call this one.  Meanwhile Nebraska has gone ahead of Clemson, 23-21 with a whole quarter to play.  I’ll switch to that one as soon as this one is over.

Why do teams pooch kick?  Now MSU has the ball right near midfield.  That’s just foolish in my eyes.  I hate that play and want it removed from the playbook along with the pitch play.  There’s no play that I hate more than that one.  The Georgia D started sacking right and left though so I guess it didn’t hurt anything to pooch it.  I still hate it though.  Wow, MSU just picked up a first down on 4th and a mile.  I don’t know, he backed up on the play though so he may have ran away from the first down marker.  Interesting.  Well the measurement came up just short anyway.  They’re going to review it to see the spot, worth doing of course but I don’t think it’ll change anything.  Yep Georgia ball.

Well points for Michigan State, they hung a lot closer to UGA than I thought they would.  They were helped by turnovers and field position but Georgia was the better team.  24-12 final.

It seems I missed nothing in Nebraska/Clemson, still 23-21 with 11 mins to go.  Terrible tackling by Clemson is leading to Nebraska moving the ball pretty easily here.  In a quick aside, I’m proud because someone found my blog by looking for Smelley Succup.  It’s the little things that please me folks!  Nice, Conner knocked down a 3rd and 4 pass for Clemson.  Under 9 mins to go.  I’ll catalog anything important but I’m gonna take a quick break before the Rose Bowl starts.  We’re over 3200 words at this point and we haven’t done that one yet.  Longest blog eva.

I have returned and this one is over, 26-21.  Poor tackling doomed Clemson there at the end.  And I’m now 1-2 on the day, whoo hooo!  Ooooh big hoopla, JoePa blew off interviews and pregame junk, feeling it would take all the attention away from his players.   I bet Petey boy didn’t do that!  He can’t stand to be away from the cameras.  PSU could get fined for Paterno blowing off the interview but he doesn’t care.  Crotchety old man.  I don’t get why people love him so, but whatever.  I just want him to retire so Bobby will.  Is that too much to ask?  It is all about me don’t you know?

Ha, the chairman of the Rose Bowl is apparently named Corky.  What is with these sports poobah’s being named Corky and Scooter and Hootie?  Cloris Leachman with the coin toss!  Dance Cloris, Dance!  Of course USC won the toss.  Penn State gets to start on offense.  No, Kirk, this is not the matchup that I wanted to see.  I wanted to see USC stuck in some crappy bowl actually.  But that would be against the law, I’m well aware.  Off we go!

We start the game with Penn State gaining all of 3 yards on offense and nearly throwing a pick on 3rd down.  I will not attempt to name the name of the safety that made that play, I’m sure you’ve heard of him, Monaluga or something like that.  Now for USC’s first possession.  Loss of 2 on, what?  The pitch play!!!  I have already ranted about said play, but just a reminder, I hate that call.  So keep on using it, Pete, that’s fine by me.  Well USC came up 2 yards short of the first down so they’re punting on the first possession too.  Well I won’t make you go through each possession with me, I’ll be back when something happens.

Well Penn State got one first down and had to kick, USC got a couple first downs, then fumbled and it was recovered by Penn State.  However, PSU was lined up offsides so the turnover no longer counts.  Yikes, that’s a big mistake.  Then they barely got a first down a fake punt.  These are the kinds of things that happen for the Trojans, don’t you know?  A big first down run and a big TD pass.  7-0 USC .  And so it begins…

I just realized that Orange Bowl is tonight…I don’t think I’ll be blogging that one.  Firstly, because I anticipate it will be boring.  Secondly,  because I am going to be over 4000 words easy by the time I’m done with the Rose Bowl.  Thirdly, I would like to retain my sanity and get away from the computer sometime today.  Fourthly, my cats will inflict retribution on me for ignoring them much longer.  Fifthly, I have to do my playoff preview blog tomorrow and I’d like to be able to both see and type to do it.  So, maybe I’ll pop in with an update from the Orange Bowl at the end, but I won’t be blogging the whole thing.  Sorry for that!

And of course, Penn State was driving and had a huge pick up, illegal motion penalty calls that back, loss of something like 45 yards on a bad shift.  Penn State is moving the ball on this much vaunted defense though.  Without the mental lapses they’d be winning right now probably.  They’ve moved it back inside the ten yard line though, so that penalty was only a minor setback.  Not bad.  We may just have a game here.  They just wasted a time out though, with only 10 seconds left in the quarter, why not let it run down?  Oh well, maybe there wasn’t enough time on the play clock for that.  Worked out well enough for them anyway, Carter ran it in for a TD.  7 All!

Well USC is driving in response to Penn State’s TD.  Yep, TD.  On the plus side for Penn State, Joe McKnight just went out with an injury.  That’s one playmaker gone, not that they don’t have a dozen more to take his place.  Mark Sanchez took that one just like Penn State’s QB did on the last drive.  14-7 now.  Hmm I guess Penn State lost a running back too.  That stinks.  USC just stopped Penn State on 3rd and short with a nice tackle.  Not surprisingly, Penn State is not taking a chance and is punting, fortunately the USC returner fell and the ball went bouncing down to the 16 yard line.  Very nice.

Ahh again, Penn State does something stupid and gets a late hit on the sidelines to tack on 15 more yards.  USC is already around their own 20 yard line.  This is taking no time at all.  16 yard pick up, 25 yard pick up, 15 yard penalty…you get the picture.  McKnight is out for the rest of the game apparently, not that this seems to be an issue right now.  Why is there no Pete Carroll cam?  I was sure he’d have his own special camera with extra wonderful lighting to show how perfect he is?  I haven’t even seen Pete since the game started.  Big gyp.  USC was held to a field goal attempt anyway, so we’re 17-7 now.   Good stop on 3rd down there by the Nittany Lions.

The USC guys are doing some retarded dance on the sidelines as they prepare to kick off.  Do they do this every time or only for the Rose Bowl?  Do they think this weird little kick and move your and lean thing was cool in any way?  It would be funny if one of them would trip and then knock each other over like dominoes though.  USC stopped Penn State on 3rd and short again, if they get a TD on this next drive I will be tempted to call this one done.

The media should really try to be less critical of USC.  Really, they are just so harsh!  Could Flutie have been a little more in love with them during that commentary?  Incredible!  Beautiful!!!  Gag.  They are making it look easy right now.  3rd and short and they pick up about 20 yards.  Of course, Penn State actually gets a stop behind the line of scrimmage but they were offsides.  Ahhh shot of the cranky old man in his booth.  That won’t make him any less cranky.  At least the defense responded with a sack right after that.  Of course USC responds with a first down.  You might want to cover that Williams guy, Penn State.  Just a hint, seeing as he’s gotten the ball every other play.  14/17 for 211 yards already for Sanchez.  Yeah, that’s not the kind of day Penn State needed for him to have.  Man, they converted a 3rd and 13, again with a pass to Williams.  Penn State was only playing about 10 yards off the guy.  Good defense you got there Lions.  TD, just like that.  24-7 with 1:24 to go in the first half.  Wanna bet they start the second half with a TD?  Anybody?  Gah, the Pac-10 is going to be 5-0 in the bowls after today.  Yes, I was one of those that called them weak and sad and sure enough they’re making me look dumb.

Oh naturally, Penn State breaks out a huge run but then fumbles and USC gets the ball.  USC is already acting like they’ve won on the sidelines.  Carroll is waving around game balls.  I wish I could believe Penn State could come back but I am pretty sure this game is over.  USC with only a minute left is gonna try for that TD.  Well thank you, Herbstreit, I was going to shit a brick when Musburger was yammering about how we’ve never seen what USC is doing in this decade.  Hello, it’s called the 90’s and it was the Noles.  They were just a couple wins away from 5 national championships you douche.  Now I’m mad.  Thank you Kirk for restoring some order by bringing up the Noles.  Jackass Musberger, you are dead to me!

Penn State is helping USC again, getting another 15 yard personal foul penalty.  And we have a touchdown.  20 yard screen pass.  Alright, my friends, I’m going to take leave of you for now.  I might return if Penn State mounts a come back, but you know and I know that the likelihood of that happening is about equal to the likelihood that Jensen Ackles and/or Robert Pattinson are going to knock on my door with roses in one hand and a diamond ring in the other.   Only in my dreams!

Thanks to those of you who stuck with me all through this monster of a blog.  You deserve both commendations and condolences for sticking it out!  I’ll pop back in if anything is worthy of my attention, but odds are I’m done for the night.  Happy bowling folks!

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