Archive for April, 2010

Posted at ff.net, will be posted here momentarily 🙂

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The final chapter is up here and at ff.net!  Epilogue will post Saturday morning!

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Up here and on FF.net here:  http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5390243/44/Sacrificial_Lamb

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I’m sorry, I’ve been lax updating here.  All the chapters are here now as well, 1-43.  I’ll post 44 on Monday, 45 on Wednesday and the epilogue on Saturday.  We’re wrapping up.  Thanks so much for reading!

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Up here, up there, up everywhere.  Here’s a link to the listing on FF.  I also just wanted to share my awesome new banner with you.


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So yeah, I posted yet another fic, this one was going to be a one shot for a sports one shot contest but I’m getting such great responses that I’ll be forced to expand this one as well.  Wanna check it out?  Here’s a link:

First & Ten

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Sorry I didn’t post on Supernatural last week.  That episode didn’t do a lot for me personally, although I did feel sorry for Bobby, yet again.  I’ve pretty much prepared myself for his death this season so there weren’t any real surprises.  What did surprise me was the lack of follow up from the last episode that we got to see.  You know, the one where Sam was all hopped up on demon blood again and Dean’s soul was crushed?  Did Sam just get all better and we have nothing to worry about yet again?  WTF?  That annoyed me so I didn’t blog it.

This week though..damn you show.  How fucking low do you have to drag Dean before you actually lift him up again?  I cried, again, at the utter misery that is his existence and the desolate hopelessness that he feels.  And now Cas is along for that ride!  Just…damn it.  That’s really all I can say about it.

We opened with two hunters waking Sam & Dean and blowing Sam away rather quickly.  One wanted to spare Dean but the other pointed out that having a pissed off Dean Winchester on their asses probably wasn’t a good idea.  Dean backed that up as well and told him to shoot him.  We all know Dean doesn’t want to live without Sam, we’ve seen it a billion times before.  This time, they got to die together.

And of course, though they may have been together, their heavens were miles apart.  Dean’s best memories, his heaven, was shooting off fireworks with Sam and getting the crust cut off his bread by his mother.  Sam’s were having his first Thanksgiving with a real family and the time he ran away (leaving Dean to wallow in guilt and the wrath of John) and the day he left to go to college.

Watching Dean realize that was just a gut punch to end all gut punches.  And Sam tried to apologize, to remind him that it was the two of them against the world, but all Dean could see was that Sam was happiest away from him.  Sam got to see that Dean was happiest with his family and that even at the ridiculous age of 3 or 4 he was still playing the peacemaker and trying to make everything right for his mother.  What an incredible character he is.  I wish more people recognized that, truly I do.

Dean, as always, soldiered on to find Joshua.  Josh is the only angel that God bothers to keep in touch with apparently.  Of course, Zachariah was in his element having the boys in heaven and was chasing them all over the place but they did have a little help from their friends.

I loved that we got to see Ash and Pamela again.  Loved it.  And I love that Ash’s idea of heaven was his life on earth, more or less.  I was rather sad that he didn’t know about Jo and Ellen but hopefully he’ll be able to find them and hook up.  He hasn’t found John and Mary either which I find rather interesting.  Maybe they’ll turn up elsewhere, huh?

Zachariah was a raging douche, as usual, but he is so very good at it.  My heart was crushed again when Mary got the yellow eyes and told Dean that she was happy to be rid of him and that even hell was better than being his mother.  Jensen was so beautiful in that moment.  I cried, again.  Then of course the boys got to watch Zach get touchy feely with their mother.  That was disgusting, to say the least.

And as if that all weren’t enough, Joshua shows up and takes the boys to the garden (Cleveland Botanical Garden, HA) and tells that that God wants them to stop looking for him and he’s just not interested in saving the world.  He’s just gonna hang out for awhile and let the war rage and that’s about it.  He didn’t want to hear a word they had to say and Joshua told them he was sorry and he was rooting for them and sent them back with their memories in tact.

It seems our boys died more than the times we’re aware of, because the way Zach and Joshua talked about it they’d been up there plenty of times but had their minds wiped.  I’m glad we didn’t have to see all that because I’ve seen enough of Dean dying to last me a lifetime.

Once back in their bloody bodies, Dean immediately reached for the phone and Cas was on the scene.  And there was another soul completely crushed.  Cas tried to hold on to the vein hope that Joshua was lying but Sam assured him that he wasn’t.  Then, heartbreak some more, Cas looked at the sky, said I believed in you, and gave the amulet back to Dean, the one that would lead them to God.  Before the boys could say anything, he vanished.

As if that wasn’t soul crushing enough, Dean took the amulet and held it over the trashcan for a minute before dropping it while Sam watched in disbelief.  It’s interesting that the God side of the equation, Dean and Cas, are so disheartened while the Lucifer side, Sam, still has some hope.  I’m not sure what that means exactly, though I do believe Dean will eventually find his will to fight again.  He has to.  It’s what he does.

But damned if I don’t understand why he’s ready to just say fuck it.  After all, it’s what God seems to have done.  And God was the only thing that Dean was holding onto anymore.  To the point that he was actually begging him for help.  And then God shits all over it through Joshua.  I’m actually angry at this fictional God!

Mad props to Jensen for his performance, yet again.  He broke my heart over and over this episode and the cherry on the top was Cas’ when he heard what God had to say.  Poignant as all hell.

I’m not going to try to analyze this one to death (til ram gets through with it anyway).  I’m just teary-eyed and hurt and touched beyond belief at my reaction to this show yet again.  Much, much better than last week.  Next week looks pretty interesting as well.  Not much more to this season left and still a lot to do and a lot more soul crushing to be wrought I imagine.  I hope I have the strength to endure it.  I now, ultimately, Dean does, no matter what he thinks and says right now.

I’ll post pictures when I feel like looking through them.  Too drained right now!

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