From Front: Simon Elder, Juliet, Tripp, Letitia, Karen, Nick George, Lisa George, Brian, Patrick & Jeremy, DSM Cast courtesty of Duckydoestv.com
While watching one of my guilty pleasures, Dirty Sexy Money, I started fervently wishing that Days would rip that off, you know, instead of Higley ripping her own stuff from OLTL off instead? Since it’s quite clear that Dena couldn’t write a romance unless she’s possessed by one of the Bronte sisters, why not scrap the idea of romance and go the DSM route?
Dirty Sexy Money revolves around the filthy rich Darling family, headed by the formidable patriarch, Tripp (not to be mistaken for my friend, Tripp). Tripp Darling is one of those meddling fathers, who thinks he knows what’s best for his children and will go to any length to ensure that they get what they want, or what he thinks they should want. This week, his eldest son, Patrick, was ready to admit to the world that he is in love with a transgendered woman, Carmelita. He was going to do this on the night of his election to the Senate. Needless to say, Daddy didn’t think this would be a good idea and he told Carmelita the truth behind the death of Patrick’s wife, Ellen. She slipped while attacking Patrick for cheating on her with Carmelita and instead of calling the cops, the family worried that it would come off like Patrick killed her, so they took her body to their summer house in the Hamptons and set it on fire. Carmelita was not pleased that her beloved would do something like cover up his wife’s death, so she dumped him. Problem solved, Patrick won. Tripp had a heart attack while arguing with Patrick, but he appears to be alright.
Before I discuss the rest of the family, the main player is Nick George, the family lawyer. Nick was your average do-gooder type of lawyer, wanting to help the environment and the world in general. His father was the Darling family counselor and upon his untimely death (we’ll discuss that more shortly), Tripp approached him to take over as the private Darling family lawyer. Nick grew up with the Darlings and wanted no part of their circus life, but the amount of money they threw at him for charitable givings made him decide to take the offer. Over the year or so that he’s been involved with the Darlings, Nick has gone from white hat to a grayer hat, doing things he would no doubt have refused to do months ago (including standing aside during the Ellen cover up). Tripp considers Nick as good as a son and recently named him Vice President, if anything happens to him, Nick will actually take over the family business. Being at the Darling’s beck and call is doing a number on Nick’s life and his marriage.
Letitia Darling, wife of Tripp, mother of Patrick, Brian, Karen, Jeremy and Juliet. Letitia is currently on trial for the murder of Nick’s father, her long time lover and father of her son, Brian as well. She’s indulgent with her children and also loves Nick like a son, in part due to her relationship with his Dad. Nick is defending her for the murder of his own father, who died in an airplane crash that was tampered with. He’s certain of her innocence and the Darling’s want her to be represented to him because what jury would convict a woman of killing a guy when his own son is defending her? Good question, that.
Patrick Darling, NY state senator, father of 2, in love with a transgendered woman. Patrick is the eldest child, I believe, and the most moldable. He always ends up bending to his father’s will, be it in running for the Senate or in giving in when it comes to his wife’s death. He attempts to get out from under his father’s thumb but ends up right back under it.
Brian Darling, son of Letitia and Nick’s father, whose first name escapes me. Brian started off as some kind of pastor, married to a formidable Mei Ling, with 2 daughters by her. He also has a son, Brian Jr., from an affair with one of his churchgoers. Hilariously, his girlfriend dumped Brian Jr. on him and he tried to pass him off as a Swedish orphan, Gunther, who could speak no English. Mei Ling guilted Brian Jr. into admitting he was not a Swedish orphan and that Brian was his father. She took the girls and left, Brian gave up the church and is now working for Darling Industries. He found out last season that Tripp is not his father, as did Tripp, who did not know about Letitia’s long affair with the family lawyer. Nick and Brian do not get along too well, but they’re an interesting pair to watch interact.
Karen Darling, professional divorcee. She’s been married 4 times and just got engaged to #5 last night. She was Nick’s childhood sweetheart and she still wants him. He’s still attracted to her as well. She’s supposedly a lot smarter than a ditzy rich chick but she acts the part more times than not. Her best moment might have been right after wedding #4, when she turned to Nick a minute after saying her vows and asked him to get her a divorce! Her new fiancee, Simon Elder, is her father’s top competitor and he wants to marry her to get his hands on the company. Nick warned her of this but she took it as jealousy and him not wanting her to be happy and off we go. Looks like next week Nick tells Tripp to cut her out of the business before Simon can get his hands on it. It doesn’t get much soapier than that does it?
Jeremy Darling, twin of Juliet, youngest of the Darlings. Family playboy. Just kind of sleeps his way through life, partying and bedding women. He’s got a crush on Nick’s wife, Lisa, and they’ve had a couple of kisses. Nick knows and doesn’t appreciate it, of course. Currently he’s sleeping with the DA, Nola Lyons, who is trying his mother for murder. Again, is that not good soap? They’ve kept their relationship quiet but Nick borrowed his phone and figured out who he was involved with. Should make for some interesting times in front of the judge, right?
Juliet Darling, Jeremy’s twin. She’s your useless Paris Hilton type, although a virgin, and mostly off the show. She’s off with some guy right now and I think has only one or two appearances this year due to the actress’ real life troubles. That’s okay, she was the least interesting of the Darling sibs.
Those are the main players, with Nick’s wife, Lisa and Karen’s fiancee, Simon, also along for the ride. Just from my descriptions of the characters, does the show not sound soapy and about 1000 times more interesting than Days? I picture bulking up the DiMera family a bit and having them be a Darling type of family. Stefano is great as an interfering father, it’s what he already does. I see EJ in the Patrick type role, the modable son who rebels when it comes to the woman he loves. Lexie could not pull of Karen, but we could easily have another DiDaughter appear on the scene. Actually Kristen would be great in that type of role. I’d bring her and Peter back to bulk up the family. Then have an outsider, like maybe our own Nick, get sucked into the family and deal with all their scandals and issues. Have a real challenger, like say, Philip Kiriakis, romancing the Kristen/Karen type of character and spying on DiFamily.
You don’t have to have all these “twu wuv” stories like Days attempts to have, or all these random chem tests. Business and family dynamics can be just as, if not more, compelling. Desires, affairs, scandal, bribery, etc. It’s not that hard, Dena, tune into ABC on Wednesday nights and start taking some notes. It couldn’t hurt, right?
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