Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 16
BPOV
From Breaking Dawn, The Story of Edward & Isabella Cullen, Bella’s entry August 16th, 2005
To say that my wedding night was all that I could have hoped for would be an understatement. It was everything I wanted and more. I’d never felt more complete than I was the moment Edward and I became one. I truly thought life couldn’t get any better than that, but I should have known that with Edward, it could. It did. Our honeymoon was magical. What else could I expect with a vampire husband?
He took me to Paris; home of the Eiffel Tower and The Louvre and The Seine and fantastic cuisine and Alice’s beloved couture. By day he took me to all the sites I’d imagined and dreamed of visiting and by night…by night he just took me. I know I’m supposed to use this journal to talk about everything I want to remember after my change and maybe that should include talking about all those beautiful sights and exploring a city I’d only dreamed about visiting but really all I want to talk about is Edward. He is what is most important to remember. Our time together, loving one another, finally. Over and over. I intend to come back to Paris countless times in my next lifetime, so the sights are really not as important for me to document.
We stayed at The Four Seasons hotel in Paris, near the Champs-Elysees. Calling it was luxurious isn’t doing it justice. Marble floors, vaulted ceilings, crystal chandeliers…it took my breath away. Edward wasn’t fazed of course but to me it was like stepping into another world. Our suite was bigger than my house, all decorated in pale blue and cream. I was afraid to touch anything but Edward just laughed away my fears and swept me into his arms. I’m not ashamed to say that I forgot to be intimidated when his lips touched mine. The luxury and opulence just faded away and until it was just the two of us.
The second time we made love was different from the first. Where there had been hesitance, the next time was all about urgency. He was still gentle and somewhat controlled but he let go a bit more and trusted himself with me. He trusted himself enough to lay me down on that feather soft bed and take me from above. He touched me, running his hands over every part of my body as he thrust inside me. His touch was soft, almost reverent, but it was there. If I had any complaints about our first time, and I truly didn’t as it did exceed my expectations in every way, I would have wished for him to touch me while we made love. I know fear of hurting me held him back. Now he knows what I knew all along though, he could never hurt me, not even accidentally.
The more comfortable that he got with me, the more comfortable I was able to get with him. After a couple of nights I managed to put on a few of Alice’s presents, even the Christian LeClerc see-through beige nightie that so horrified me at my bachelorette party. Of course, my sister-in-law was right as usual. Edward was most appreciative! In fact, he was more or less stunned for a few minutes I think. Long enough that I got red (what else is new?) and thought about running into the bathroom to hide. He came out of his stupor, though, and let me know without words that he approved of the outfit. Unfortunately it didn’t survive the night. I never thought I’d see the day when Edward would rip my clothes right off me, at least not when I was a human, but I did that night! I have to tell Alice to order me some more, if she hasn’t already. Multiples in every color would be good. God help me but if fancy French designers do that to my husband, I will happily allow Alice to dress me daily.
Of course our honeymoon wasn’t just sex. Alice managed to show her hand even without being here. She set me up at the spa at the hotel and I had to endure hours of pampering. Even though I dreaded the idea, like most Alice thoughts it turned out pretty well. Edward took the opportunity to go hunting and I got buffed and massaged and primped. Since he was still out when I was done, I took the opportunity to luxuriate in the gorgeous bathtub, playing with all the lotions and creams. It’s fun being girly now and then, not that I plan on mentioning that to my sister-in-law. Since the pampering put me in a good mood, I ventured back into Alice’s gifts and put on that red leather bustier/g-string combo. Never did I think I’d see the day that I’d wear something that looked like it came out of an 80’s hair band video, but I wanted to see Edward’s reaction badly enough that it overcame my natural shyness. After all, he’d seen me completely naked, so that was far more revealing than the leather getup. I also found a pair of matching shoes that practically screamed “Do me”. Red stilettos with 4 inch heels. Clearly Alice meant them to go with the outfit because she knew I would not be able to walk two feet in them normally. I waited until I was situated on the bed to put them on.
Edward’s reaction took my breath away. He burst into the hotel room calling my name before he rounded the corner and came to a complete stop. I was lying back in the center of the bed, propped up with my arms draped over the pillows. My bare legs were crossed at the ankles, drawing attention to the death trap shoes. I left my hair down, flowing across my shoulders and giving me a little more coverage than the outfit provided. I watched as Edward’s golden eyes went black a moment after taking me in. I can’t even begin to describe what it feels like when those eyes are black with desire for me. I feel like his prey. I feel frozen to the spot, pinned under that unearthly gaze. But it’s not just fear that I feel when he looks at me that way. It’s want…need. I need him to take me when he looks at me like that.
I wonder, is it like that for everyone when they’re with their lover, or is it a vampire thing? Or is it an Edward/Bella thing? I know we’re not your average couple, so maybe it’s a combination of things. All I know is when that black gaze alights on me, I feel…everything. I feel love and desire and passion and fire and heat with a small lace of fear running through all of that. The fear is instinctual of course, I know what he could do to me but I know that he won’t, so it doesn’t overrule any of the other, baser feelings when he looks at me that way. Honestly I think it just heightens the sensations I feel.
My name came out of his mouth like a growl. I couldn’t speak as he slowly stalked toward me, looking like the mountain lion he so loved to hunt. He was beautiful. Stunning. How someone who looks like he does could fall in love with plain old me is something I’ll never understand. When he finally got to me, he reached out and touched me as if I was made of the finest glass. It was quite a disparity, those raging eyes and that soft touch. It drove me wild with desire. I wished, once again, that he could take me with all that passion that was plain on his face. Soon. After he changes me we can be together as equals.
I felt that electrical current pulse through me that was ever present in his touch, only it was more potent as he touched me in the places I’d always dreamed about. As he finally brought his lips to my own he uttered one word, “Mine.” I nearly came right then. I was his, forever, as he was mine. The truth in that word was utterly beautiful to me.
His skilled fingers played me every bit as effectively as they did his beloved piano. Not wanting to stop his ministrations, he leaned forward and yanked my g-string off with his teeth. I moaned and thrust up toward him. I felt one of the shoes catch in the bed and started to remove them so I wouldn’t destroy the mattress but Edward stopped me. “Leave them on.” It came out in the most guttural growl I’d ever heard him utter. I lost any interest in losing the shoes as his mouth came down and began to taste me. Nothing can really compare to that ice cold tongue pressing to my heat. I pretty much orgasm instantly when he touches me there. He took me then, still amazingly gentle despite the fire burning in his eyes.
I get lost when we’re together intimately. It’s like nothing else in the world exists but the two of us. I feel him through every part of my body. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world. From what Alice and Esme have said, that never changes. Feeling this connected to him for eternity is a pretty good deal, all in all. I know I’ll be giving a lot of things up but as long as I have him it’ll be worth it to me.
There’s one experience from the honeymoon that I really want to document. The thing I need to remember forever. The thing I’m actually tempted to tell my mother about, which would no doubt send her into spasms of joy. I’ve had a lot of firsts with Edward over these last couple of weeks but none surprises me more than the first spontaneous sex. Renee would be so proud.
It happened unexpectedly, which I guess spontaneous sex should, so that’s pretty redundant. We were strolling through little boutiques as I tried to find souvenirs for the family. It’s not an easy task trying to find presents for every Cullen, let me tell you. They already have everything anyway. Edward was instrumental in helping me find my purchases. I got Charlie some silly French items, a miniature Eiffel tower and a beret. I figured it’d make him laugh. I got my mother, Rosalie and Esme some fancy French lotions and perfumes. I got Emmett some silly Jerry Lewis films, Edward said it was fitting; I decided not to mull that one over. Jasper was getting a French Revolution book; he loved reading about wars and strategy so I thought he’d appreciate it. I picked out a soft gray cashmere sweater for Carlisle; it just looked like something that would look perfect on him, regardless of the fact that he probably had no use for it. Alice, of course, was the most impossible to shop for. A pretty dress caught my eye, it was bright purple and silk and short and fitted; it fit her bubbly personality well and the price tag indicated that it was something she’d appreciate, in other words, something designer.
No sooner had I decided on that dress for her than Edward’s cell rang. He looked at me and just handed me the phone. “Bella! It’s perfect, I love it so much! Thank you, thank you. Size two, please!” I just laughed and got the dress in a size two. “Oh, by the way, rain’s coming so you might want to pick up an umbrella for later.” She paused for a second and then giggled. “Never mind, don’t worry about the umbrella.” I just thought that was weird but that was Alice so why question it? She hadn’t steered us wrong on the weather so far, we only had to spend 2 days of our trip indoors. We managed to fill the time quite nicely, needless to say.
Edward and I returned to the hotel and deposited our gifts. I didn’t want to eat at the hotel again for dinner so we elected to walk back and find a little bistro. We strolled down the street hand in hand and just enjoyed the sights and sounds of Paris. I forgot all about Alice’s weather forecast as I got swept up in my beautiful husband. Women walked past staring at him, he was just breathtaking. He wore a forest green button down shirt and black jeans and boots. He could have easily been strolling down a fashion runway, even in such a simple outfit. I hardly looked the part of his wife; I was wearing a white button down shirt and blue jeans and sandals. It didn’t stop him from looking at me just as adoringly as I was looking at him, he didn’t even notice the women ogling him.
Before we could find any place to eat the clouds opened up and it started pouring. It came down so quickly that even Edward was unable to grab me and get me to shelter before we were both soaked. He pulled us into a doorway with a big white awning over the top but we were already wet so I didn’t see the point in bothering staying there. I stepped out into the rain and just grinned at him. “We’re from Forks, Edward, what’s a little rain?” He didn’t respond, he just stood there staring at me as the water poured down my skin. I noticed that his eyes had gotten black again but it took me a minute to process why.
I glanced down and saw that my white shirt was plastered to my skin and he could see right through it. I threw my arms over myself and glanced around but the street had cleared when the rain started to come down so it didn’t look as if anyone else was getting a glimpse of me. Nobody except my husband of course; my husband who was staring at me as if he was going to devour me with his eyes. There I was looking like a drowned rat and he was getting excited. I would probably never understand men. He, of course, still looked perfect despite the rain, drops were sprinkled through his glorious hair, not nearly as wet as mine since he was still under the awning. His shirt was clinging to him, showing his defined chest and arms in all their glory. He made my mouth water. We stared at one another for an indeterminate amount of time, me in the rain and him in that doorway. I could actually feel that electric pull pulsing between us but before I could take a step towards him, he closed the distance between us and started kissing me passionately. It was one of those rare unrestrained kisses that I got from him, his lips pressed firmly against mine and his tongue entered my parted lips. I felt like I was drowning in him as the rain continued to beat down against us.
His fingers pushed my wet hair out of my eyes and his hands cupped my face as he continued to kiss me with no restraint. Eventually I pulled back, gasping for breath. I started to speak his name but he silenced me with yet another kiss. I wanted him to take me right there on the street; fire burned through my veins even as I shivered from the cool water dripping down my body. Edward broke away from me and glanced down the street, his eyes finding something that I couldn’t see. Before I could ask him what he saw, he scooped me into his arms and darted down the street at his breakneck speed. I knew nobody could see us but I was surprised that he dashed off with me so brazenly. He stopped seconds later and we were now in a forest, the trees providing some shelter from the rain. We were still getting wet but we weren’t getting pelted by the downpour.
I didn’t say a word; I just stared at him trying to read that immobile face. His eyes were still black and burning into me but I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. I knew what I was thinking but I didn’t think he could possibly be on the same page with me. Not my husband, epitome of self-restraint; I assumed he was just trying to get me away from any prying eyes. I assumed wrong.
He reached out and caressed my cheek, tracing a falling raindrop as it made its way down my face. He stepped closer to me and I reacted defensively and took a step back; I couldn’t help myself, the blackness in those eyes was as frightening as it was arousing. I couldn’t step back very far; I was backed up against a tree. “Bella…so beautiful.” He took my lips again and pressed his body up against mine; I was pinned between his immovable form and the rough tree trunk behind me. There was no escape, not that I really wanted to run. That brief instinct passed the moment his lips touched mine. I met his kiss with all the passion I had in me, because I had to let him know how much I wanted him. I figured my time was limited before he’d pull back and decide to get me back to the hotel and out of the rain.
Surprisingly, though, he did not stop the kiss. Instead he pushed me back against the tree harder and lifted me up so that he wouldn’t have to bend down to reach me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and gasped at the friction of his erection pressing against me. “Bella, I can’t wait. I have to have you now.” His lips traced down my face and over my jaw down to my neck. My heart raced at those words. He wanted me so much that he couldn’t contain it until we were behind closed doors. I told him without words that I wanted him too, pressing against him harder and putting all my emotions into my kiss.
He pulled back and released my legs from around his torso. I felt a moment of sadness as I thought that maybe he’d regained control and was putting a stop to things, but before I had a chance to complete that thought his hands came up and began to unbutton my shirt quickly. He removed it and laid it on a low hanging tree branch. I stood there in my plain white satin bra, wishing that I was wearing one of the sexier bras back in my suitcase. Edward didn’t seem to mind though, he reached up and ran his finger along the satin, tracing from the straps down to my breast. He palmed me through the bra, his thumb tracing over my painfully hard nipple. He reached behind me and released me from that satin barrier and took a nipple into his mouth. I let my head fall back against the tree trunk and just got lost in the sensation of his lips tugging against me. He gave both nipples equal attention while my legs felt like they were turning into jelly. If the tree hadn’t been there I would have fallen down, no question.
His fingers traced up and down my stomach as he continued his attention on my breasts. I whimpered and he looked up and smiled that crooked smile that always melted my heart. “That raindrop, right there on your nose, I’m going to follow that drop with my tongue.” I crossed my eyes and saw that there was indeed a raindrop poised on the tip of my nose, ready to fall. I watched as it dropped, feeling it hit my lips and travel down the center of my body. Edward’s tongue touched the end of my nose, his lips curling around it to give me a quick kiss. He then dragged his tongue over my lips, laughing as I whimpered and tried to capture it with my own but continuing down my chin and over my neck, following whatever path the raindrop had taken. I’d lost track of it the instant his tongue met my skin. He followed the line directly between my breasts and I pushed against him, wanting him to take them back into his mouth but he was determined to trace the rain’s path. His tongue continued down my stomach, stopping to rest right above the button that closed my jeans. “Hmmm, it seems that the raindrop has fallen below your jeans, Bella. Should I continue to follow it?” I moaned as his seductive voice washed over me, his tongue still pressed above my zipper. He looked up at me and I told him “Yes.” It was all I could manage at the moment.
He made quick work of my jeans after I said yes, using one hand to hold me up while he quickly unzipped and pulled them down. I was in nothing but my matching satin white panties while he was fully clothed and kneeling before me. His tongue traced down my panties and licked me right at the center. “I don’t see the raindrop, Bella, where did it go?” I whimpered and pushed myself against his face. I managed to choke out the word “under” which was enough for him as he yanked my panties down and put his tongue right back on me. I came again and again, shouting his name as he lapped at the now nonexistent raindrop. He pulled back and looked up at me through his hooded lashes. “Nothing tastes better than you in the rain. Your scent is enhanced; it always drives me crazy when you get wet.”
I giggled at the double meaning in his words. “I guess it’s a good thing we live in Forks then; I hope it rains every day from now on.” He growled at that and stood up, removing his clothes faster than I could even see. He lifted me back up and I wrapped my legs back around his waist, feeling the length of him pressing against me. “I love you, Bella.” His lips met mine as he thrust into me, my backside pressing into the tree. I gasped from the roughness of the bark against my back. Edward started to pull me away from the tree but I said no against his lips. He reached out to the tree branch and pulled my shirt back off and shoved it behind me to keep my back from getting scraped. He thrust into me over and over, increasing his speed. Water slicked down both of our bodies as we moved against one another. Edward’s sexy growl vibrated in his chest and went right through my own. He swallowed my cries with his hungry lips, pressing against me harder than he ever had before. It didn’t take long before I was tightening around him, my release driving him to his own.
He rested his forehead against mine and kissed the tip of my nose, our bodies still joined together. “I feel like I should apologize for losing control like that but I really don’t feel sorry.” I laughed and told him there was nothing to apologize for; he’d given me everything I’d been craving since the first time we made love. I then told him what Alice had said about taking an umbrella and then changing her mind and laughing about it. He grinned and said that we’d have to buy her a few more dresses to thank her; I readily agreed with that sentiment.
After snuggling and kissing for a few more minutes we got dressed and headed back out into the Paris night to our hotel. I was rather ravenous but in our current state we decided that room service would be for the best. The rest of our trip was not quite as eventful but it was just as perfect. We made love countless times and each moment was precious to me, but none more so than that interlude in the rain. I never want to forget the first time we had spontaneous outdoor sex, so I had to document it here just as it happened. My mother was right, there’s nothing better than seeing your man lose complete control and just having to take you then and there. I can’t wait for the next time…I’m hoping there’s a lot of rain in the forecast for Forks!
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