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Posts Tagged ‘John Winchester’

Dean finally meets Michael

Fate.  Destiny.  Bloodlines.  Fathers & sons.  Brother vs brother.  Present meets past.  Last night’s Supernatural had a little bit of everything and a lot of what I’ve been craving for weeks on end.  Finally Dean meets Michael.  Finally Sam gets to meet his mother.  Finally we see Castiel.  Finally Sam & John get to have a decent talk about how Dean and Sam were raised.  Finally Dean revealed his true self to his mother.  Finally, Anna died.

Okay, that last one was just icing on the cake but you knew I’d be celebrating the crispy critter that she became.  I am so Michael’s bitch after that move, especially while he’s wearing the yummy young John Winchester while doing it.  Seriously hot.

Total yum, especially when an angel's wearing him!

Anyway, Anna tries to reach out to Dean, interrupting one of his prurient dreams of angels and demons and asking him to meet her.  Thankfully, our Dean was not born yesterday (though he wasn’t born in part of this epi, hehe) and he told Castiel who went to meet her in his place.  It seems Anna was in Heaven Prison for awhile and that’s not a pleasant place to be.  Cry me a river, Anna.  She tells Cas that killing Sam is the only way to stop Lucifer but Cas won’t sign off on this because Sam is his friend now.  That’s a definite about face for our favorite angel, in the not too distant past he was all on board the Kill Sam train.  I like to think it’s his love for Dean that makes him unable to go that track now.  What?  He does!

So Anna takes it upon herself to head into the past to kill John and Mary before they even have the boys.  Cas figures out where she is and zaps himself, Sam and Dean to help.  I have to give major props to Jared for Sam’s reaction to seeing his younger parents for the first time.  The love and awe he had on his face when looking at Mary was heartbreaking and adorable.  It definitely made me think about to last week’s episode and his sneering at the trappings of traditional family.  Methinks he might have changed his tune after a little time with his parents.

Bloody, soon to be dead, Anna. Yay!

Mary remembered Dean from his other jaunt into the past and was none too happy about his presence.  Dean managed to get her to listen enough to hear that she and John were in danger from angels (thanks to Sam interjecting that last part) and she was prepared to run with them.  But John got a call from his boss and went to meet him only to find Anna.  Sam & Dean got there in time to send her away via the blood drawing on the wall.

Sam finally got to meet his Mom.

Then we get to the good stuff.  John, driving the Impala and yelling at them all to be quiet in a very fatherly way, is stunned to learn about monsters and hunting.  He & Sam have a conversation about how Sam could have been raised and what kind of terrible father he had to allow that.  Sam, for the first time, was able to tell his father that he understood why he’d chosen that life for them, that thirst for revenge.  It was fascinating to see John play the Sam role and Sam play the John role in that conversation.  I thought they both were excellent.

I love John and Mary. That's baby Dean in there!

That was countered with Dean’s conversation with Mary, wherein he finally revealed that he was her son.  He told her about the song she sang him at bedtime and the soup she made him when he was sick.  He begged her not to go into that nursery the day that she dies, he even told her why and that her sons would be cursed.  Mary was scared and upset and disbelieving but somehow accepting at the same time?  I don’t know how to explain it.  Sam interrupted and told them both that avoiding the nursery wasn’t enough, she needed to leave John and never have them and never look back.  Mary kept saying she couldn’t, finally revealing that she was already pregnant with Dean.

That doesn't look like it feels too good!

That moment was interrupted by the return of Anna, this time with young Uriel in tow, set on killing the men that kill him 30 years later.  John is dispatched and Anna stabs Sam and leaves him for dead while Dean tangles with Uriel and Anna goes after Mary.  Outside, a flashing light appears and all of a sudden John is inside the house and Michael is inside John.   He touched Anna and fried her to a crisp.  I laughed.  He dispensed Uriel with the snap of two fingers.  Michael, in a word, was hot.

Feel the heat!

Dean demands that he fix Sam but Michael says he will in good time, after they’ve had a little chat.  Dean asks how he can be inside John and Michael tells him that their bloodline is what makes it possible, he can inhabit anyone in that family (except for probably Sam I’m guessing).  When John heard that Michael could help Mary he let him right in.

That's what happens when you try to take Dean away, bitch!

Michael explains to Dean that his life is fated, always, to come down to letting Michael inside so he can fight Lucifer.  Every step John and Mary made in life led him down this path.  I was happy to find out that Michael won’t leave Dean a slobbering idiot when all is said and done.  I have a question…why can’t Dean let Michael in to fight Lucifer in that other body?  I know he’s all about free will but I’m thinking he’d be willing to do it if he didn’t have to kill Sam in the process.  I suppose there’s some caveat to that we don’t know about at this point.  Dean doesn’t say a lot but he’s still clinging to the idea that he doesn’t have to go along with this masterplan.  He tells Michael to take his brother and take their fight off his planet.  So cute.  Kisses to Dean.

Ram outlined this convo a lot better than I could after only one viewing so go check out her post on the matter, over at the I Love Bad Boys blog.  Michael zapped Sam and Dean back to the future and Cas appeared but promptly passed out.  He’s not able to travel through time as easily now that’s not a favored angel anymore.

Dean pours drinks to Team Free Will and Sam questions him, asking if there was nothing, not even saving Mom, that would make him agree to let Michael in.  Dean doesn’t really have an answer to that and we’re done with the episode.

This was the kind of epi I’ve been craving for ages now.  I love young John and Mary (seriously, give them a spin off or something).  I love Cas and Michael.  I love Anna dying.  I love our boys confronting their pasts and filling in some of the many missing moments they had with their parents.  I hope they manage to see them again before the series ends.  A hug or two would be nice!

See you next week for an episode that appears might bring back out bloodlusting Sammy.  Could be interesting!

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I do so love the Fed look!

I do so love the Fed look!

This week’s Supernatural, I Believe The Children Are Our Future, was yet another blast back to season one, at least it felt that way to me.  Other than the presence of Castiel, there was not much that screamed season 5 to me.  I can’t decide if that’s good or bad.

I haven’t a lot to say about the storyline but I did enjoy seeing Dean eating with relish and having fun again.  However, it irritated me because what I worried about last week seemed to be coming to pass.  The brothers seem fine with one another again and they appeared to take over the earlier roles.  Sam the sensitive one, reaching out to the child, and Dean the wisecracking one.  But you know what I learned in my Supernatural Season 1 rewatch this summer?  It was the Dean was the one who connected with kids, not Sam.  Before that rewatch I would have thought that but I was wrong.  Oh well, I don’t mind a little role reversal now and then.

See? Another perfect casting job, the kid is angelic and scary at the same time.

See? Another perfect casting job, the kid is angelic and scary at the same time.

So it seems that the anti-Christ kid is gone, apparently surfing somewhere instead of picking sides with the angels or the demons.  I highly doubt we’re going to see the kid again which is actually pretty sad.  Once again, casting came through and found an adorable child that had the ability to be both endearing and menacing at the same time.  Why can they find perfect kid actors time and again but fail so epically with females?  I don’t get it.  Another post for another day I suppose.

Sam & Dean were not too pleased at the thought of killing a kid.

Sam & Dean were not too pleased at the thought of killing a kid.

There were two truly interesting things that came out in this episode, I thought.  The first was Sam wanting the kid to know the truth and to make the choice that he himself didn’t.  He wanted to see someone do the right thing after his failure last season.  It was kind of heartbreaking to see just how important that was to him.  I liked that he wanted to tell Jesse the truth and that he ended up doing it.  I consider that self-revelation an important part in his step to redemption (which is nowhere near complete).

A toy Castiel? I think I know someone who would like to play with him. hehe

A toy Castiel? I think I know someone who would like to play with him. hehe

The other thing that really caught my eye was the relationship between Sam and Castiel and it’s parallel to Sam & John Winchester.  Particularly in regards to Dean.  Cas called Sam out on his making the wrong choice and Sam really had no response to that.  Dean, ever the peacemaker, again tried to step in.  It just felt like he’d been sucked back into that middle role that he constantly was with his brother and father and I felt for him.  I like that Cas is still holding Sam responsible for his actions as I get the feeling that Dean is beyond it now.  I know what we all discussed last week but Dean didn’t jump on Cas’ side when he was challenging Sam, nor did he rush to Sam’s defense, so maybe he’s really and truly in the middle.  I don’t know.  I was glad that the boys both refused to kill Jesse, they haven’t changed that much that killing a kid would be alright with them.  I think, even though Cas said Sam wouldn’t hesitate last year, that he just might have.  At least until the end of the season.

I’m really kinda sad that they had Jesse just vanish instead of heading off to Bobby, I kinda liked the thought of him kicking it with the kid and practicing the mojo all over the car yard.  It would have been cute and made Bobby feel more involved.  I miss Bobby.

I’m of two minds on the return of Dean’s juvenile sense of humor.  On the one hand, I love seeing him having fun and laughing again.  On the other hand, there’s a time and a place and it doesn’t feel like now is the time or place.  But then again, anytime you see an angel sit on a whoopie cushion it’s a pretty awesome thing.  Cas’ face and Dean’s reaction were spot on, as always.  I also grinned when he started eating the ham after he cooked it with the joy buzzer.  I always love Dean, even when he’s being juvenile.

So that’s really all I have to say about the episode.  I’m sick and a little less chatty than I am most days so that’s part of the brevity here, the other part is this episode didn’t do much to advance overall plot since I don’t think we’ll see Jesse again.  It did set up some Cas/Sam conflict and give Sam another chance to show some remorse, but other than that it was just an okay episode.  We’re off next week and then old man Dean will be in my life.  If I find him attractive I’m going to have to look into counseling.  That might disturb me more than my Dark Edward fetish.  See you in two weeks and we’ll find out.

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This episode kinda made me feel this angry.

This episode kinda made me feel this angry.

I could yap about the mystery of the week and rail about Paris Hilton touching MY Jensen for a few paragraphs but that would be pointless.  Because really, that wasn’t what mattered (although I do hope that Jensen disinfected after shooting) this episode.  I thought about titling this blog Sammy Steps Up because it was all about Sam trying to take back some power.

I am not on board with Sam blaming any part of his decision making on Dean; Sam is a big boy and he’s always been driven by either a thirst for revenge, a thirst for power or just a desire to be different from his family.  We saw that from first episode when he pointed out how different he wanted to be from his brother and his father.  This is nothing new with Sam, it’s been that way since we’ve known him.  Did John and Dean shape that?  Sure, but even after he broke away he still had this drive to prove himself that had nothing to do with them.

I will, however, give credence to the fact that Dean has coddled Sam from day one and that did contribute to his desire to have some power and control in his life.  He just chose the way of getting that very badly.

Not sure how I feel about Sam after this episode.

Not sure how I feel about Sam after this episode.

If I am to give allowances to Sam’s behaviors based upon his brother and father’s actions, though, shouldn’t Sam do the same thing for Dean?  Dean has been raised from the time he was 4 years old to protect Sam.  That was his number one job from the moment that Azazel took their mother.  It was how he was raised, drummed into his head over and over by an overbearing, controlling, distracted father.  Big brother is to look out for little brother and that’s what Dean has always done.

I’m not saying that Dean shouldn’t have loosened the reins on his brother, I’m just saying that he had his reasons for not doing so and it’s pretty hard for him to change that behavior, especially now.  He clearly wasn’t being overly controlling of Sam last season when he sneaked away with Ruby…if anything Dean could argue that he should have kept a shorter leash on Sam and it might not have happened.

How many fantasies got started from this scene?

How many fantasies got started from this scene?

Is it just me or did this episode seem to serve as a big “Look at Sam, he’s the smart one, Dean’s lazy and avoiding the real work” type of episode that we used to be exposed to so often in season 1 and 2?  The whole episode felt like a flashback to those times anyway…Dean was the bossy bully and Sam figured everything out while Dean just goofed around and got sarcastic.  I didn’t care for it at all, even though the episode itself was fine.

Sam walking in on Dean’s conversation with Bobby, wherein he basically blamed him for the apocalypse, was just a set up for the other two major talks the brothers had.  Sam wanted to talk about it but Dean continued to blow him off, just as he’s done all season when Sam tried to apologize.  Some would construe that as solely being about Dean’s anger but I choose to think there’s more to it than that and their final conversation gave that some merit.  Sam took responsibility for starting the apocalypse again and Dean pointed out that he broke the first seal himself.  Sam said you didn’t know and Dean said neither did you.  That was his acceptance that though Sam was partially responsible, he didn’t know what he was doing just as Dean didn’t when he started things either.  Dean made Sam come to that realization about himself as well and the blame game seems to be over.

Let me focus back on that second conversation for a minute.  I did like that Sam told Dean that he didn’t want to go back to the way things were because that is what led them to where they are now.  I always say that about having regrets, there’s really not a point because whatever decisions you made then led to who you are now.  I don’t mind Sam stepping up and taking more of a leadership role but he needs to know that comes with taking responsibility for his actions.  He said he does but he still mentions his brother’s own culpability in his choices and honestly, he can’t do that if he wants to be a leader.  He needs to own his own actions…he says he does but if he really did would he say that Dean’s treatment of him led to his choices?  Isn’t it true that Sam made his choices BEFORE Dean even got back from hell?  He was already using the mojo then, after all, and becoming addicted to the power.  So there’s a lot more to it than just “Dean didn’t let me make any decisions” situation.

The more I think about it, the more annoyed I am getting at the way this episode portrayed the brothers.  Like Dean was the puppet master or something?  I don’t know.  It’s bothering me more as I write about it.  rameau, I need you to weigh in and tell me if I’m going way off base here in what was mostly a light episode cause I am working myself up a bit!  hehe

I guess I don’t mind Dean apologizing for being too overbearing with Sam but I’d like Sam saying he was sorry for the crappy way he treated his brother last year as well.  Dean letting Sam drive the Impala was a signal of the trust being back on his end and I’m good with that, though I think Sam has more earning to do.  I guess the writer’s don’t though, this seemed to be their way of reestablishing Sam as the good and just brother.  Scenes for future episodes have me interested, as always (particularly in that scene where Dean is in sunglasses, yum!), but this episode was not anywhere near my favorite after a few stellar ones.  The brothers are back together and we’ll see how it goes.

PS  Just wanted to thank BuddyTV for pointing my little blog out to people, this is officially my biggest blog day yet and I know it’s thanks to Buddy’s tweet.  All you SPN fans, thanks for coming by, I talk about every episode and hope you all come back for more, would love to discuss with you.  Thanks to the new people who have commented, I love it!

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Are you there, devil?  It's me, Sam Winchester!

Are you there, devil? It's me, Sam Winchester!

How sweet is it that my favorite returning fall show was the first to return?  The Pretty was back on my screen with a vengeance on Thursday night.  Vengeance, such a pretty word and rather fitting for Supernatural, no?  I loved the episode, naturally, so good to have our boys back.

Dean's expression matched my own, WTF were they doing in a plane as Lucifer rose?

Dean's expression matched my own, WTF were they doing in a plane as Lucifer rose?

Sympathy For The Devil picked up right where we left off last season, with Lucifer rising and our boys in much too close a proximity.  They can’t get out but all of a sudden they’re in an airplane confused as hell.  As was I, of course.  I assumed the angels had gotten our boys to safety but it seems a bigger boy has come out to play this season.  What’s Lucifer without God?

Sam tries several times to apologize for what he’s done but Dean isn’t having it.  I have to admit that I’m glad that the Sam/Dean tension is not going to magically disappear in their need to unite to fight the devil.  I’ll get more into Dean’s speech at the end later, because as usual it was powerful and moving and deserves it’s own discussion as I assume it’s going to be an overriding theme for much of the season.

Chuck!  No more needs to be said, I love him!

Chuck! No more needs to be said, I love him!

Who didn’t smile at the return of the Prophet Chuck?  There is something about that guy that just makes me light up.  I wish he’d go on the road with Sam and Dean, maybe as a new series (what, more Jensen is a bad thing?)  I love that the first thing he did was attack Sam as well.  What, he does deserve a little bit of a beat down doesn’t he?  Dean’s reaction to Sam’s full on Vader was interesting…does he think there’s a demon in his brother for real?

Dean's reaction to "Vader" Sam.  So much in that face.

Dean's reaction to "Vader" Sam. So much in that face.

Now, I knew going in that Misha Collins had been made a regular cast member, so news of Castiel’s smiting by the angels didn’t hit as hard as it could have had I not known or seen his name in the credits.  But still…it hurt to think about our Pretty Cas being smited by an archangel and exploding all over Chuck’s house.  I’m quite glad we were not subjected to the sight of that, for Castiel should never explode.  Preserve the Pretty!  How much did you love that Dean’s first reaction was to go find Cas anyway?

Dean uses his "friend" Castiel's method to get rid of the angels.  Loved it!

Dean uses his "friend" Castiel's method to get rid of the angels. Loved it!

Only Dean Winchester would call an angel an asshat.  I loved his rage at Zachariah.  The angels assumption that Dean would just fall in line cracked me up, do they not know the man at all?  Bonus points for the return of the word “douche.”  Nobody does it like Dean.  I adored that Dean used Castiel’s method of getting rid of the angels and blasted them right out of Chuck’s house.  He’s a sly one, our Dean.  And Chuck’s “this sucks ass” in reaction to the appearance and disappearance of the angels just slayed me.  This show mixes humor in at the oddest times but it works 99% of the time anyway.

I admit it, I am using this picture for it's beauty, although this was from that scene, hehe.

I admit it, I am using this picture for it's beauty, although this was from that scene, hehe.

A small but beautiful moment occurred when Sam gave Dean the hex back he’d made and Dean asked how he knew how to make it to hide them from demons and angels and Sam admitted that it was Ruby.  That pause and that look on his face hit the right note of fear of telling Dean, hesitance and even some shame.  I liked that that made Dean ask about his brother’s potential withdrawal from the demon blood and that it was addressed because I think we’d all be wondering about it.  Supernatural methadone indeed…yay God?  Then Sam tries to apologize again and Dean still won’t listen.  Jensen’s face, not looking at Sam and refusing to discuss it, showed a hint of that anger and hurt that we get to see in full force later.  It was a nice scene that really did a lot but didn’t seem all that significant on first viewing.

The devil's meatsuit, a lonely man who lost his wife and child violently.

The devil's meatsuit, a lonely man who lost his wife and child violently.

I didn’t really get absorbed into the whole “devil finds a meatsuit” thing but I do enjoy the actor they’ve gotten to play him.  He’s already been on two of my favorite shows, Dexter & Lost, so why not get him on a third?  And he can do creepy really well, so bonus.  I like that the devil had to get his permission as well, just like the rest of the angels do, nice continuity.  I felt for the character as the devil screwed with him, showing him his dead wife and reminding him of their murdered child.

Okay, I admit I would probably pull a Becky if I got near Dean.

Okay, I admit I would probably pull a Becky if I got near Dean.

How beautiful is it that Chuck sent a slash fanfiction writer to meet Sam and Dean?  And that her screenname was SamLicker81?  Of course I still fail to understand why people in love with male characters write them as gay, but it’s hilarious here so who cares?  Of course I wanted to bitchsmack her when she told Dean that he was not what she pictured, but her molestation of Sam just killed me.  How could Dean not be what she pictured?  Devastatingly gorgeous doesn’t work for her?  hehe Oh well, she’s a Sam girl.  She brought the big news that Michael’s sword was lost somewhere, so she served a purpose other than making me laugh.  Her “no” when Sam asked if she could quit touching him was awesome.  I wonder how they got rid of her?

Sam was rather hurt by Bobby's rejection.

Sam was rather hurt by Bobby's rejection.

Alright, I knew in my heart that Bobby was not Bobby when he laid into Sam but it was still effective as all hell, made doubly so because Dean just stood there and didn’t interfere in any way like he normally would have.  The beginning could have been real, anger at him for not listening, but when he told Sam to lose his number after they finished it, if they finished it, that’s when you knew he couldn’t be Bobby.  Sam’s face though, the puppy dog hurt there, really tugged at the heart.

As if that didn’t drive it home, Bobby’s private conversation with Dean really did.  Saying that John was right about Sam all along and they should have possibly killed him.  Again, what resounded here was that though Dean said “Bobby” he didn’t stop him or yell at him for even hinting that maybe they should have killed Sam.  How much does Dean agree with that?  How does he feel about it?  I can’t wait to see that play out over the season.

Yeah, not liking new Meg at all.  Hopefully she was one and done.

Yeah, not liking new Meg at all. Hopefully she was one and done.

Yay for the return of Meg, not so yay with the actress that portrayed her.  But I assume she was a oneshot so maybe the next one will be cooler.  How dare she have kissed him?  Not remotely hot.  Plus Meg was Sam’s girl.  Seeing Bobby with that knife to Dean and the real Bobby come through long enough to stab himself…that was beautiful.  His love for Dean shone through in that moment and brought to mind Daddy John’s own possession.  He peeked out for a minute but only to tell Dean to kill him, all for revenge on Yellow Eyes.  Bobby just again proved that he was the boys “real” father, at least for me.

The boys head to John’s storage locker and find dead demons littering the floor.  Dean’s “Oh thank God, the angels are here” cracked me up.  Zachariah then tells us that Dean is Michael’s sword, or his vessel.  Dean takes this news as only Dean would, with scoffing and anger.  “Life as an angel condom, that’s real fun!”  Of course, Zachariah gets all tough angel on Dean and breaks Sam’s legs to try to get Dean to comply.  Dean won’t.  Dean figures out that they can’t make him let Michael inside so he refuses.  Zachariah threatens Bobby with life in a wheelchair, Dean still says no.  He gives Dean stage 4 stomach cancer, coughing up blood he still says no.  He takes away Sam’s lungs, Dean asks that they just kill them both then.  Zach has no intention of doing so but plans on having lots more fun torturing the boys..angels and demons really aren’t so different are they?

Welcome back my pretty avenging angel!

Welcome back my pretty avenging angel!

Fortunately, in that moment, Castiel returns in a flash of white light.  He quickly kills the other two angels and faces off with Zachariah.  Zach is pretty stunned that Cas is still alive and well and Cas points out that it’s a good question and it’s a good question how Dean and Sam got away from Lucifer since the angels didn’t do it.  It’s not ever stated but it’s pretty heavily implied that God has decided to become an active participant in the war.  Zachariah is scared off and follows Cas’ orders of restoring the boys and leaves.  Castiel puts Noki and Sygil (spelling?) into Sam and Dean to hide them from all angels, including Lucifer.  He confirms that he was dead but disappears instead of telling them how he’s back.  I guess God will be everywhere in this season but not discussed?

I love that Bobby was screaming at his doctor when we returned.  Real Bobby being back was good to see.  Dean’s big speech for Bobby was a true Dean hubris moment.  I loved seeing that, even though he admitted to Sam that it was all bull.  Still, that was Dean, being tough for Bobby and pumping him up when he should be down.  I loved Bobby’s apology to Sam, letting him know he’d never cut him out of his life no matter what he did.  Sam’s relief and pretty smile was touching.

Dean's suppressing a lot of emotion all episode, it was nice to see it come out in the end.

Dean's suppressing a lot of emotion all episode, it was nice to see it come out in the end.

Of course, he doesn’t get to revel in Bobby’s forgiveness for long.  Dean tells him that they don’t have a chance to win this war, not that that’s going to stop him from fighting.  Sam again presses Dean to talk about it, about what Sam did and Dean’s feelings about it and this time he gives in.  Our boys have their best conversations next to the Impala, don’t they?  Dean tells him he tried but he can’t pretend that everything is alright.  It’s not and it’s never going to be.  He chose a demon over his own brother and look what happened.  Sam says he would give anything to take it back and Dean says he knows he would.  Dean tells him that he was the one he depended on the most and Sam let him down in ways he couldn’t even say.  He is having a hard time forgiving and forgetting.  Sam asks what he can do and Dean tells him there’s nothing.  He doesn’t think that they can ever be what they once were and he can’t trust him.  He walks towards the car, glances back at Sam and gets in.

Powerful, much needed moment.  It can’t go back to the way things were, not in one day.  They’re going to have to work to build each other up this whole season and I look forward to watching that play out.  I want to see if Sam’s tempted by blood again and Dean’s reaction to that.  Sam disappearing for an hour or two and Dean’s suspicion over that.  All of it is deserved and necessary.

All in all this was an excellent episode back.  I could have probably done with less Lucifer vessel stuff but I understand that they were establishing the man that would harbor the fallen angel and why he would.  I loved the humor but especially loved the angst.  I’m thrilled the show is back and starting off on a high note.  The season clips ahead, with the return of Ellen and Jo and that other hunter whose name escapes me have me excited.  Back next week with more!

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Brothers on the brink.

Brothers on the brink.

Wow…I don’t know if I’ve ever attempted to write a blog where I find myself having a hard time putting into words what I want to say.  This Supernatural episode was not as action packed as I thought it would be but that didn’t matter to me whatsoever because I was so caught up in an emotional torrent that I probably couldn’t have handled anymore.  Plus next week looks killer, so I’m not complaining.

Every now and then a TV show can manage to put together an episode that makes you feel involved, like you’re there and you’re part of it.  It’s rare, I am clearly quite invested in all of my programs but maybe not to the level that I seem to be Supernatural.  I came out of watching that episode feeling like I had been on the receiving end of every single one of those Winchester punches.  I felt bruised and battered and drained.  I spent the whole episode cringing, sighing, yelling and crying.  Okay, it was only a little tear when Dean cried but still, I did cry.  This by no means was one of those perfect episodes that they bring me now and then but it was damn good.

Before I delve into the meat of the episode, I have to throw out major kudos to both Jared and Jensen for this episode.  I felt Sam’s struggle and though I spent the majority of the episode pissed off at him (haha what a new reaction that is for me!), I felt sorry for him as well.  Jensen just ripped my heart out when Dean found that line he was unwilling to cross for his brother.  Also major kudos to that kid who plays young Sammy, that kid’s a great actor and I adore him.

I have to say, after this final showdown and whatever fallout occurs, I damn well better never EVER hear Sam say again that Dean is not strong enough.  He hasn’t used the word weak but that’s what he’s saying over and over again when he questions his brother’s strength.  Not only better he never utter those words, he better apologize and admit his brother is the stronger man.  Dean was tortured on a rack in hell for 30 years, Sam couldn’t even handle it for a two minute hallucination.

Sam used his mom to further his own agenda.

Sam used his mom to further his own agenda.

Speaking of hallucinations, for the first time in the history of this show I loathed Mary Winchester.  There she was implying Dean was weak and Sam was strong and was doing what was right.  What, they couldn’t have had John appear and do that, I’d expect it from him!  I know, she was in Sam’s head and not real but I was telling her to shut the hell up the whole time she was on my screen.

I love little Sam, so much bigger than big Sam.

I love little Sam, so much bigger than big Sam.

I did enjoy how little Sam’s bitch wasn’t about Sam becoming a demon but was instead about him giving up his chance at a real life and going along with his family.  This actually felt real, even though I call bullshit to Sam’s theory that Jessica never would have died had he been there to save her.  I’m sure he does feel that way inside but he knows it’s not true, the YED told him as much.  But, it’s a hallucination, clearly they’re not going to be the truth tellers of the world.

Hallucinatory Dean said all the things that real Dean never would.

Hallucinatory Dean said all the things that real Dean never would.

The granddaddy of the hallucinations was of course Dean himself.  It was truly beautiful watching the scenes cut from mean Dean laying into Sammy up to real Dean pouring his heart out to Bobby and saying he would not sacrifice Sam to save the world.  Mean Dean was saying all the things that I kinda wanted to say to Sam but knew that real Dean never would.  He was terribly hurtful and both boys rocked that moment.  When Sam begged him not to say that he was a monster, that he couldn’t handle that from him, that was beautiful.  That was that moment last week in the car put into words.  Dean thinking that of him would be the most hurtful thing Sam could imagine.  Of course it only made what happened later more poignant.

Cas isn't too comfortable with his actions.

Cas isn't too comfortable with his actions.

Before I could get to feeling too badly for old Sam, along came Castiel to inexplicably free him.  Um, Cas, I know you have your orders, dear angel, but that royally sucked, especially coming on the heels of your being rather dickish to Dean.  He got Dean to pledge himself to God and the angels and he was just so cold.  I know he has to be right now but I miss my cuddly Cas.  At least he’s still showing signs of being conflicted, I suppose.  I will forgive him for this move if it pays off and because Anna got yanked back into heaven (presumably anyway) on his watch, so that pleased me.  Of course she was questioning him the way I was questioning him so I didn’t loathe her as much as I usually do, but she’s gone, so oh well!

Bobby tried to be a good father to Sam.

Bobby tried to be a good father to Sam.

What a moment between Sam and Bobby when Sam was trying to escape.  Bobby was trying to talk him down and Sam was calling him on his inability to shoot him.  That brings to mind the question, would John have killed him had he been there?  Probably.  But Bobby couldn’t and Sam thanked him for that by knocking his ass out with his gun.  Oh Sam.  That was kinda my theme of the show, by the way.  I was saying, Oh Sam.  Oh Bobby.  Oh Cas.  And of course I just kept saying My Dean…my poor Dean.

How beautiful was it that Sam thought he was going to outsmart his brother and Dean caught up to him in no time flat?  Dean knew Sam would try to change his pattern and he went against all of Sam’s instincts and there he was.  Suck it, Sammy.  Well I guess he already did, watching him tear into Ruby’s blood just pissed me off.  Dean damn well better get to kill her.  Of all the unforgivable things Sam has done this season, stopping Dean from killing Ruby ranks right up there; made worse by his choosing her over Dean when Dean offered to go with him.  Jackass. And what makes Sam so sure that killing Lillith will stop this thing?  I couldn’t help but wonder when Ruby was telling him about the human that the devil had to form, of Sam himself.  I’m sure killing Lillith is some kind of red herring to the real seal, after all, Dean’s supposed to close it since he started it.  We’ll see!

Dean's still so beautiful even when fighting with his brother.

Dean's still so beautiful even when fighting with his brother.

And then we got down to it, didn’t we?  Sam telling Dean that he had to get Lillith, that he was the only one who could and Dean pointing out that it was his job, what he was brought back for.  Then Sam tells him he’s not strong enough.  AGAIN.  Dammit.  Then Sam gets a little worked up about Dean telling him what to do and asking him to trust him as he has all these years.  But Sam, really, have you?  This season you certainly haven’t.  Dean then says it, the thing hallucinatory Dean said, albeit with a different level of caring and emotion involved.  He tells Sam that if he truly knows what he’s doing then that makes him worse, it makes him a monster.  This time, though, Sam asks him to say it even though he knows what’s coming.  Hallucination no longer, reality steps in and they fight.

Sam was destroyed to hear that monster word come out of his brothers mouth.

Sam was destroyed to hear that monster word come out of his brothers mouth.

Every punch, every push, every throw hurt in a way none of their other fights have hurt before.  They are well and truly separated now.  Then Sam actually tried to choke his brother.  That was terrible.  “You don’t know me.  You never did and you never will.”  And that’s when Dean finally said it.  “You walk out that door, don’t you ever come back.”  Sam just looks at him like he’s shit on his shoe and walks out.  I knew it would hurt to watch them break but I don’t think I knew quite how much.

This is how we left Dean, uttler destroyed by what has happened with Sam.

This is how we left Dean, uttler destroyed by what has happened with Sam.

A lot of important stuff got said in this episode, one of the best for me was when Dean pointed out to Sam that he was right there.  He was back from hell so why the hell was Sam so determined to make Lillith pay?  It’s what I’ve been saying for awhile now and it was great to hear that expressed.  Sam finally got spill all his anger at having to follow his brother.  I may not agree with it but I understand the resentment.  Dean got to reiterate the fact that he was not going to let his brother become a demon to save the world.

I’m writing this off of one viewing, except for a rewatch of the end, so I’m sure I’m missing stuff and will have to go back and add things after I think about them some more, but I had this on my mind so I’m getting it out while I can.  I forgot to mention that I loved that after Dean pledged himself to the angels and Bobby asked him about it, he said that he damn well doesn’t believe that they’re necessarily doing right but he was going to do anything for Sam.  Sam clearly doesn’t feel the same way, but that’s Dean to the core and I loved that he hadn’t magically bought into Castiel’s program.  I think it’s that that might just save Sam when it comes down to it.

Next week, the finale.  Chuck’s back, which is awesome.  I still fear for Bobby, but at least he made it through this episode.  I have great trepidation and excitement over what might happen and I know that it will probably make me feel as strongly as this one did.  I hope our boys can get back together, I loved that Sam even expressed that to Ruby, the hope that when it was all over they could come back together.  From your mouth to god’s ears, Sammy, if he’ll listen to potential demons that is.

Back with pictures and more thoughts later!

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Daniel decides that the past can be changed due to people being variables.

Daniel decides that the past can be changed due to people being variables.

So instead of making this one of my long recappatory (yes I made a new word) Lost blogs, I thought I’d just discuss the very interesting and truly fucked up things that happened in tonight’s The Variable episode.  Yes, I just got done watching the show and I had to do my blog now because of where it has taken my mind.

First, I’d like to compliment them on actually answering what we suspected all along.  Widmore is Daniel’s daddy, Scary Poppins is indeed his mom.  We got to see why he was crying when he saw the plane crash on TV the first time we saw him, his memory loss and his messed up relationship with Mom.  Of course we didn’t get to see how really and truly messed up it was until the very end did we?  I mean, the woman sent her own son back to the island knowing that she was going to kill him.  That is lovely.  Truly.  I mean, I thought Angela Petrelli was a fucked up parent.  I thought John Winchester was as bad as it gets.  But no, I think Eloise Hawking takes the cake.  And of course Daddy Widmore gets a big slice of that himself, seeing as he was instrumental in him being there as well.  But we already knew he sucked as parent, so Daniel struck out twice in that lottery.

Unfortunately or maybe fortunately for Scary Poppins, depending on what side she comes down on, before she killed her son he was able to tell Jack and Kate his master plan of blowing up the electromagnetic part of the island so that the hatch is never built, Desmond never fails to press the buttons, their plane never crashes, the freighter never comes…and god knows what else doesn’t happen.  Charlotte never returns and dies, which is the driving purpose for Daniel.  Jack is all about getting to the hydrogen bomb and enacting said plan now, from the looks of next week.

And you know what?  As I was watching and discussing with Tripp, I told her that it would be just like Lost to actually do that.  To end the season with them exploding the bomb and giving us a hint that next season is all about these regular people with regular lives who don’t know one another.  Each of them having an episode to tell us how they ended up.  Sun & Jin, never had their baby probably and maybe split up.  Locke staying wheelchair bound (man will he be pissed), Jack never drugging up, Kate in jail, Hurley never winning the lotto and going insane, Charlie living, Claire giving up Aaron…think about it.  Doesn’t it sound completely like the kind of mindfuck they’d pull?  And I can’t decide if it will piss me off or it it will blow me away.  Knowing this show, I’m banking on the latter, they’ve yet to let me down.

And what would come of the ones that actually were on the island?  Richard and Ben?  Does Ben die of his cancer since Jack’s not there to save him or does he leave the island after the bombing and live some regular life?  Okay, not regular, I imagine he’d still be manipulating people in the real world, but it’s something you just have to think about.  It’d be amazing.  What would become of Widmore?  Scary Poppins?  Horace?  (I don’t really care about Horace, wanted him to die tonight.)

Other than that rather big thing to ponder, Sawyer and Juliet are now in some trouble thanks to Jack and Kate and Daniel getting caught on their trek out to steal a hydrogen bomb, and of course having annoying Phil in the closet didn’t give them much time to explain themselves or fabricate anything.  Go figure that Jack and Kate complicate things again.  I thought Sawyer and Juliet had some very nice moments in this episode and I’m really liking them as a couple.  Of course if I’m right, they’ll end up never meeting…mind messing, serious mind messing.

So what do you all think of this?  If they go there, if they allow Jack and Kate to blow up the electromagnetic area of the island that caused them to crash, will it be an epic cop out?  Or will it be epic?  We’ve only got a couple episodes to know for sure but it definitely feels like something they would do to me.  I can’t decide how to feel.  It’s probably not going to happen since it’s so obvious right now…that’s probably the twist we’ve been promised.  It just feels so right to me.  Well either way, I’m along for the ride!

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Dean wasn't embracing the 3rd brother thing anymore than we were.

Dean wasn't embracing the 3rd brother thing anymore than we were.

Well, well, wasn’t that interesting???  I just finished watching Supernatural’s Jump The Shark episode and I’m glad to say that my faith in Kripke remains strong.  This episode wasn’t about a third brother, this was all about John Winchester and his two sons, the two sons who are on their way to a collision.  And it was an interesting character steady on both Sam & Dean.

Adam, the Winchester brother who got a normal life, til killed by a ghoul.

Adam, the Winchester brother who got a normal life, til killed by a ghoul.

Perhaps I’m more sensitive to this for having recently devoured season 1, but this episode could have been in that season.  Adam was of course a representation of original recipe Sammy, the kid who was in college and had a life and was doing normal things.  Sam was a conglomerate of his current self and old Dean, embracing the hunting and trying to get Adam to come into the hunting lifestyle while being consumed by revenge.  Dean was still Dean, as I said before I think he’s changed the least but grown the most.  Which might sound weird, but I mean to say that he’s still all about his family but he now really sees that family for what they are.  He doesn’t hero worship John anymore and while still protective of Sam, he sees that darkness in his brother and knows deep down that it’s a problem he’s going to have to deal with.

Sam & Dean had different reactions to little bro, except both were jealous in their own ways.

Sam & Dean had different reactions to little bro, except both were jealous in their own ways.

I spent the first half of the episode wishing John Winchester would burn in hell (again, some more!) for putting that hurt look in Dean’s eyes.  Yep, my protective instinct when it comes to Dean was activated immediately upon Dean hearing that kid claim to be John’s son.  I absolutely loved that Dean’s reaction was to be prepared to kill whatever monster was lying about his father.  The holy water in the glass, the silver, the gun under the table and the glare on my boys darling face were all just vintage Dean Winchester.  And he was angry and he had every right to be, but as I said, the hurt was still there in the eyes, in the disbelief in his tone as Adam talked about going to ball games with Dad and seeing him every birthday.  It made me angry to imagine Dean’s birthday going unnoticed all those years, I bet John rarely thought of it if he was even with him.  No, I don’t include Sam here because I know Dean gave him birthdays, that’s just what Dean would do.  Dean had nobody taking care of him while both Adam and Sam did.  Not perfect by any means but at least they had someone.

Sam is becoming more and more Johnlike.

Sam is becoming more and more Johnlike.

What I really found fascinating was the fact that Sam was jealous as well.  He seemed like he was bonding with the kid while Dean didn’t want anything to do with him.  I didn’t catch the jealousy until Dean confronted him about wanting to teach Adam how to be a hunter.  Sam just threw Adam’s life out the door and Dean wasn’t having him do that.  Sam’s come a long way from that law student who just wanted a normal life, he pretty much sneered at the idea of that for Adam.  So that begs the question, what exactly is Sam’s purpose here beyond vengeance?  Because it seems to me that he teamed up with Ruby and has gone darker and darker because he wanted to be out of this life someday and someday soon.  He said that in one episode a month or so back.  But if he thinks that normal life is out of reach for someone like Adam, what does he think awaits him?  I am very curious to know just what he’s looking for here, once Lillith is vanquished.

One cannot overlook the symbolism of Sam being tied down and having the ghoul Adam and his sister lapping up his blood.   Did Sam stop to think that he did the same thing to Ruby?  I didn’t see any realization there, of course he was worried about dying at the time but it’d be nice to have a scene addressing that sometime soon.  I did enjoy them noticing something different in his blood but I would like to see a little more awareness there.  Maybe Dean will point it out to him whenever he finds out about Sammy’s secret pasttime.

For all the hurt and jealousy that Dean had over Adam, he still wanted to protect him from the life that he and Sam had.  That’s just one of the things that makes Dean so special, isn’t it?  He can look beyond the jealousy and desire for revenge and see the bigger picture.  I really loved that in the end when they were burning Adam’s body, Sam suggested that Dean give Castiel a call to bring their brother back and Dean didn’t even consider it.  He doesn’t want to bring him back to a life dealing with the world their father brought them and he is in a better place.

Of course that last scene also brought on the comment of the night, maybe the comment of the year.  “You know, I finally get why you and Dad butted heads so much.  You two are practically the same person.  I mean I worshiped the guy, you know?  I dressed like him, I acted like him, I listened to the same music.  But you were more like him than I will ever be.  I see that now.”  And Sam says, “I’ll take that as a compliment,” to which Dean responds, “You can take it anyway you want.”   That, right there, is the sign of Dean’s growth and Sam’s descent.  Dean doesn’t mean that as a compliment anymore.  He sees his father for the flawed being that he was and realizes his brother is the same way.  The thirst for vengeance drove John Winchester and it now drives Sam, to the point that they were willing to sacrifice the happiness of their own family.  Sam didn’t give a damn if Adam had a life, he was going to teach him to be a hunter.  Just like John did to his other two sons.

It really staggered me to hear Dean say those words to his brother and to have Sam decide that was a compliment.  Sam didn’t care to be compared to Daddy when we first met him but now it’s all good.   And Dean wasn’t blind to his father but he accepted and admired him.  He doesn’t accept and admire Sam right now though, does he?

Like everyone else, I was wary of the whole third brother thing but since it was really about the two brothers it worked just fine for me.  I am not sorry that the real Adam was dead and they never met him; he’s a complication we didn’t need going forward; but using him to demonstrated just how the lives of the Winchesters have changed worked.  It was a way of showing their relationship devolve without them arguing or confronting one another.  Not subtle but not over the top.

Next week, Castiel is back and apparently we get to meet the man our angel’s been inhabiting.  It should be fun!

I’ll add better pictures when SupernaturalSeries.com gets them up, the CW’s selection was pathetic!

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