Posts Tagged ‘Kevin Kolb’

Well I am coming off a stellar Week 1, in which I went 14-2.  Clearly, I have already peaked on the season and will never do better, so I should probably just quit while I’m ahead.  But what kind of fun would that be?

I was lazy and didn’t do my NFL Roundup this week, so I’ll kinda address that with each pick instead.  Next week I will get my stuff together, I promise!  I must, however, begin with the award for the Sage Rosenfels Memorial Douchetard Of The Week.  There were numerous candidates for this award in week 1 and I intend to mention them all.  First, we had Jay Cutler and Jake Delhomme, each throwing 4 interceptions in losses.  Way to start the year, boys.  Then we had the guy who was covering Brandon Stokley in the Denver/Cincy game.  Yes, it was a fluke play but he let him run 87 yards.  I don’t even know who he was, but he was a DT all the same.  Still, there was clearly one winner, who I must award even though his boneheadedness gave my team a victory.  Leodis McKelvin of the Bills, for running that kick out of the end zone with less than 2 minutes left and fumbling, giving the Pats the ball and the eventual win.  I do not condone the desecration of his house or any harassment by Bills fans, but I must still give him the DT for snatching defeat out of the hands of victory.  Congratulations Leodis!  On to the picks!

New England over New York Jets-  I know NE did not look that great against the Bills, but they manned up when they need to and got the job done.  Then this week the Jets players and coach got mouthy…has nobody learned that you don’t mouth off about New England the week that you play them?  I expect a big win here, the Jets seem to have forgotten they’re starting a rookie QB.

New Orleans over Philadelphia- I would probably have gone the other way if Kevin Kolb was not playing QB for the Iggles.  I think this would have been an entertaining shoot-out type game if McNabb was playing.  It still may be, although the Eagles D is far better than the Saints.  I think it’ll be close but Brees will seal the victory.

Washington over St. Louis-  I will be honest with you and tell you I know nothing about the Rams right now.  Nothing at all.  I did watch Washington play the Giants and came away wholly unimpressed.  I think the Jason Campbell era is going to go down as a failure.  Still, they will beat the Rams because I’m fairly certain the Rams suck.

Arizona over Jacksonville-  I have no idea which team to pick here and I should be punishing AZ for giving me one of my losses last week.  I nearly did.  But I have to believe that Fitzgerald will do something magical this game and eek out a win.  I don’t know why.  AZ is clearly not the Super Bowl team they were last year.  I bet they’ll make me regret this pick.  Dammit.

Atlanta over Carolina-  I feel like I should go the other way here as well but I have no faith in Jake Delhomme whatsoever.  And it seems like he gets on steaks of badness, and since he threw 4 picks last week, what’s to stop him from continuing the trend this week?  I don’t think ATL is surprising people like they did last year but I think they’re good enough to win here.

Minnesota over Detroit-  Can I just get a hand for this year’s boyfriend, Adrian Peterson?  I would like it known that I had a crush on him in college even though he played for OK, who you know I hate.  Then I saw that shirtless commercial of him this summer and he was elevated to boyfriend status.  Hey, I’m easy like that.  Anyway, he kicked butt last week and he’ll do it again this week.  Favre just gets to sit back and watch him run, cushy job right?  Detroit continues the winless streak, God I love them for it!

Green Bay over Cincy-  Only Cincy could have the aforementioned Brandon Stokley play happen to them.  Well Detroit probably could too, but that’s about it.  Poor Bengals.  There’s really nothing to say about them.  GB was not impressive in their victory over the Bears but I think they’ll play better tomorrow.

Tennessee over Houston-  Yeah, that’s the last time I remotely drink the Koolaid on the Texans.  Can’t even win in their own stadium against a rookie QB?  Yep, you’re done.  Over.  Tenn is coming off that heartbreaker against Pitt, they looked good and they’ll kick TX all over the field.

Oakland over KC-  In the who cares? bowl of the day.  I think I’d rather get teeth pulled than watch these two play each other, and I’m scared of the dentist.  Both teams actually played surprisingly well in losses last week, though, so maybe they’re turning things around?  I can’t be bothered to care.  I think Oak hanging with SD is more impressive than KC hanging with the Ravens, so Oak gets the nod here.  It’s better than flipping a coin, isn’t it?

Buffalo over TB-  Yes, I am going against my team again.  No, I really don’t know why this week.  Actually I do.  The Bills are angry after their loss to the Pats and the Bucs are happy after what they consider to be a type of moral victory against the Cowboys.  I heard Coach Morris yammering after the game about how the Boys were likely going to the Super Bowl and hanging with them for 3 quarters showed something.  Um…says who?  The Boys might be the 3rd best team in their division, sorry Skins, and Romo was shitty for the entire first half.  The defense decided that giving up 80 yard plays in the second half was the way to go.  Yeah, very nice.  So, until I see the secondary shut some shit down I will be picking against the Bucs.  Prove me wrong.

Seattle over San Francisco-  Can I just mention that I hate the NFC West?  And I hate the AFC West…let’s get rid of those two divisions and just move on, right?  I have no idea who to pick in this game.  SF seems to be playing well and they’ll probably smack me with another loss for the second week in a row by picking against them.   Still I’m gonna go with the experienced QB.

San Diego over Baltimore-  Torn again.  There are some hard games this week!  I’m taking SD because they’re at home and that’s really my only reason.  I’m right fond of Flacco but the Ravens D gave up a lot of points last week to KC, what might they do against SD?  So I’m taking the Bolts.

Pittsburgh over Chicago-  Pitt didn’t have a fabulous game against TN, they win ugly much of the time and I expect them to do it again here.  I know Bears fans are excited about Cutler but I didn’t see him as any big winner in Denver.  He whines, he acts like a douche on the sidelines, he calls out his teammates…not a fan.  Pitt will find a way to win, even without their star safety.

Denver over Cleveland-  I actually don’t feel too good about this pick seeing as Denver barely beat Cincy, but maybe they’ll have their heads on straight this week?  The Browns are in the hands of Brady Quinn, from Notre Dame, who I hate.  So I will pick Denver, you see how this works?

NY Giants over Dallas-  I was very impressed by the Giants last week.  They were playing hard nosed football.  Eli looked good, the new receivers were awesome, they don’t seem to have missed a step at all with the vets they lost.  Dallas, on the other hand, gave up a ton of rushing yards against Tampa, Romo mistimed a ton of throws and they’ve got all this pressure debuting their new monstrosity, I mean stadium, on national TV.  Who doesn’t want to see them kick that off with a loss?  Go G-men!

Indy over Miami-  In Manning I trust. It’s a credo I’ve lived by for about a decade now and it’s worked for me most of the time.  Indy was not impressive in their win over the Jags but that’s a divisional opponent who always plays them tough.  I think the shine is off Miami this year and they’re going to come back down to earth.  Indy in a close one.

So there you have it, my week 2 picks are in the book.  I really should have retired with my 14-2 record, but I’ll keep putting it on the line.  Back Monday with a Roundup, I promise!

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