Archive for February 12th, 2010

Feast or Famine

You know I love it when they're in suits

This week’s Supernatural, My Bloody Valentine, might have been one of the more gory gorefests I’ve ever seen in my life.  It was so sickening that I really can’t even go back and do a rewatch.  The “meat” of the episode doesn’t really matter anyway, in typical Supernatural fashion, it was the last 5 minutes or so that were so damn important.  We’ll get to that soon enough.

Cas was adorable up til the meat.

So our boys go to a town where a couple literally eats one another alive (yeah that’s how the episode started, yum!).  More deaths occur and Sam finds marks on the victim’s hearts that are angelic symbols so in comes Cas.  I must say, despite the grossness that invaded much of the episode, Castiel was even more adorable than usual from his conversation with Dean on the phone to his burger eating (not so much the raw meat though).

Yes, Cupid is a man in a diaper

Cas figures out they’re dealing with a cherub or Cupid so they go hunting for the thing.  Dean’s horror at the idea that there is a big diaper wearing baby flitting around the world was great.  As was his reaction to said big diaper wearing man hugging him.  And Sam.  And Cas.  Lots of hugging of Cas after Dean and Sam made him their official spokesman.

It's interesting that Castiel's hand mojo is similar to Sam's.

Cupid was reduced to tears when he found out all his lovebirds were dying but swore that he wasn’t involved.  Dean insulted him and he took off, as sensitive men in diapers tend to do.  Castiel realizes that another of the horsemen has appeared, Famine, and he’s basically making the town feed of their hungers.  Gorging themselves to death on food, sex, alcohol, whatever.

Sam runs across one of the demons a few times and finds himself drawn to the blood again, Famine working on his hunger if you will.  He manages not to succumb the first time but the demon gets away and informs Famine that Sam is in town.

Cas, meanwhile, is chowing down burgers like they’re nobodies business and he’s truly adorable while doing so.  As was Dean’s reaction to Cas’ unending eating.  Castiel asks why Dean isn’t overcome by his desires (God to make Dean overcome by desire, hehe) and Dean tells him it’s because when he wants things, he gets them.  Castiel accepts that but all episode Dean was “off” and Sam kept trying to call him on it but Dean wouldn’t tell him what was wrong.

Sam tells Dean that he can’t help in the search for Famine because his hunger is overcoming him and he begs Dean to make it impossible for him to get out.  Dean handcuffs him to the sink in the bathroom and Cas moves a dresser against the drawer so he can’t get out.  Dean’s face, when Sam revealed that he was tempted, just ripped through me.  He was so disappointed and you can feel it coming again, that potential, final rift between the brothers.

Anyway, Famine is not about to let his favorite suit of Satan be locked away so he sends his demons to let him free.  Except, not really, because he really sent them so Sam would feed on them, which indeed he does.  And just like that, the mojo is back.  He drinks from one demon and uses the Mojo Hand to throw the other against the wall to wait his turn.  All this was said with bloody lips.  Ick.

Castiel stops eating long enough to go into the diner that Famine is occupying.  He’s supposed to cut off his finger and pop back into the car but he doesn’t appear a couple seconds later so Dean goes in and finds Cas eating raw meat (this was the not cute portion of Castiel’s role).  Dean is of course captured by several demons and brought forth to face Famine.

Here’s where we get to the truly important stuff so I’m going to transcribe what matters:

Famine: Hunger doesn’t just come from the body, it comes from the soul.

Dean: Funny, it doesn’t seem to be coming from mine.

Famine: Yes, I noticed that.  I wonder why that is.  How you can even walk in my presence.

Dean:  I like to think it because of my strength of character.

Famine: I disagree. He touches Dean’s chest.  Yes, I see.  That’s one deep, dark nothing you got there Dean.  Can’t fill it, can you?  Not with food, not with drink, not even with sex.

Dean:  You’re so full of crap.

Famine:  You can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me.  I can see inside you Dean.  I can see how broken you are.  How defeated.  You can’t win and you know it but you just keep fighting.  Just keep going through the motions.  You’re not hungry, Dean, because inside you’re already dead.

Fuck!  Can I just say that?  I wanted to reach through my TV screen and rip Famine to shreds for saying those things about Dean.  At first I was thinking he was implying that Dean had no soul.  And that was just fucking unacceptable.  There is no way that man doesn’t have a soul.  He cares too much about people and the world and everything for that to be possible.  So, I think I’ve ruled out that as what Famine was saying but I’m sure rameau will help me work through that.

As long as he’s not saying that Dean has no soul, I’m okay.  Though I’m really not because Dean is broken and he knows it and Sam knows it but Dean won’t admit to it.  It’s easier just to ignore it so he can keep fighting.  But he doesn’t believe they can win.  It won’t stop him from picking up the sword and fighting but if you don’t believe, if your heart isn’t really in it, what is the point?

I thought it was apt that in the flashbacks they showed the not real doctor asking Dean how in the hell he got out of bed everyday with the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He’s just so damn amazing to me.  That he would take on Lucifer like this when he doesn’t believe he’s going to win.  What an epic character.

Anyway, Sam comes in, bloody and mojoed up and Dean just says “Sammy, no,” when he sees him.  Famine tells him he sent the demons as a gift for him just so he could feed and he could have the other demons if he wanted them.  Dean’s face…Jesus.  He was so horrified and sad and hurt.  A+ for Jensen in this episode.  He ripped my own heart out with his expressions alone.  And then the end…well we’ll get to that.

Dean begs Sam not to eat them and Sam expels the demons from the bodies but doesn’t partake in anymore eating.  Famine decides if he won’t take them, he will and he sucks the demons inside him.  Again, Dean’s face watching Sam expel those demons was shocked and horrified.  To the point where he could have easily cut off the ring but he didn’t move.

Sam tries to mojo Famine but he’s told it won’t work on him.  Sam says he’s right but it’ll work on them and he proceeds to kill Famine from the inside, I guess ironically killing him with his own hunger.  Dean then looks at Sam like he’s…I don’t even know.  Scared?  Hurt?  Destroyed?  Lost?  A combination of stuff I guess.  Again it slayed me.

Then, as if it wasn’t enough, Sam’s locked back up in Bobby’s special room while Cas and Dean stand outside, Dean drinking.  Cas tells Dean that it’s not really Sam in there and Dean says he know.  Dean says he just needs to get some air, not able to hear Cas’ platitudes.

He wanders the junkyard and drinks his whiskey and then looks at it as if he knows that’s not the answer.  His face falls and his eyes tear up and he looks to the sky.

“Please.  I can’t.  I need some help.  Please.” And I fucking lose my shit all over the place even watching it a second time.  He destroyed me with that.  Dean’s turned to heaven what, twice?  Both times after he realized Sam’s addiction to the demon blood and saw what he could do.  Dean, who really doesn’t believe in the whole God heaven stuff, even with the angels, is asking for help.  He’s so damn lost.

I actually saw rameau tweet something wondering why Dean got all the psychological torment while Sam gets the physical and she’s so very right.  She said it better than I did, of course, but my God.  Dean can live through the physical pain but to see what he’s going through mentally..it rips at the viewer’s soul.  Or mine at least.

Dean’s always been among my favorite characters but episodes like this place him above and beyond other characters I love.  I want to fix him.  I just want to take him the hell away from everything that hurts him and let him smile for crying out loud.  It’s funny because again, this episode purported to be about Sam’s addiction but instead it was about Dean’s torment.  At least for me.  But I’m a Dean girl and I never tried to hide that.

So we have to go something like 5 weeks without new episode, during which I will not be able to forget the pain on that beautiful face while he begged heaven to help him.  You can see why he’s likely to give in to Michael now.  At least, one way or another, it will end the fight.  And he’s scared of Sam’s power.  Drinking from two demons made him stronger than he was last time he was working the mojo.  I honestly don’t see how Sam’s going to survive in the end and I don’t see how Dean will survive if Michael uses him to kill him.

On that bright and lovely note, I’m going to end this.  I cried from the time Famine put his hand on Dean and I’m still teary typing.  I just truly hope when it’s all said and done there’s a way to bring Dean some peace.  He needs it.

PS If I can bare to look at screencaps of the end of the episode I will post some of Dean’s facial shots when they’re up.  They said so much without the words.

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