Can I just take a moment to complain about these Thursday games? First off, I don’t get to see them thanks to the cable company sucking. Second of all, it messes up my posting schedule thoroughly. I’m in a good lazy period right now and having to post things earlier than I’m ready is not working for me! And really, it is all about me. Or it should be.
Douchetard? You know the answer but if you need me to write it down, I will. Coach Belichick, of course. You don’t give Manning a short field, ever. Yeah if it worked I wouldn’t say boo but it didn’t so he wins. Period. On to the picks.
Miami over Carolina. I really can’t figure either one of these teams out and Miami does take a hit without Brown for the rest of the year but Jake Delhomme hasn’t been himself for a couple of weeks (and by himself I mean a Douchetard) so I think he’ll revert back to form tonight. I won’t be watching so even if I’m wrong I’ll pretend I was right. That’s how I roll.
Dallas over Washington. I don’t think Washington magically got well last week, Denver was just overachieving and has come back down to earth. Simms at QB will do that to you. Dallas doesn’t impress me but they’ll win this easily.
Detroit over Cleveland. Really? How many piss poor matchups is the NFL going to have this year? I mean every week it seems like we have two absolutely unwatchable games. This is definitely one. Maybe I should be impressed that the Browns had a scoreless tie going with Baltimore until the 3rd quarter on Monday night but…I’m not. At all. And Detroit still blows but I think they blow a little less. And my Calvin Johnson should be playing. I heart Calvin Johnson so I go with his team.
Green Bay over San Fran. The instant I got on the 49er bandwagon it derailed and I jumped ship. Green Bay lost to Tampa but then came back and beat Dallas. Um..you figure that out because I sure as hell can’t. I’ll pick the Pack…I have no reason, I am just picking them. You’re welcome.
Pittsburgh over KC. The champs are not the champs this year, that’s for sure, but they’re still pretty good. And pretty much everyone is better than KC. So this is an easy pick. I’ll make it my lock of the week as a matter of fact, they have to be pissy about getting swept by Cincy and they can take it out on the poor Chiefs.
Minnesota over Seattle. It’s amazing to me that Minny is actually this good. I mean, you all know I’m no Favre fan but I get why they wooed him like bitches in heat all summer. He’s not being stupid, for once, and Peterson is there to carry the load which makes Favre much more effective. It works. Seattle is a nonentity, so this is an easy pick.
New York Giants over Atlanta. Why am I making this pick after the Giants have burned me several weeks in a row? I don’t know. They’re at home? Turner is hurt? They have to win again sometime? Eli Manning is going to remember that he won a Super Bowl? Take your pick, but this is the pick I’m making. I’m sure I’ll regret it come Sunday.
New Orleans over Tampa Bay. Oooh, another lock of the week. My Bucs have been competitive with Freeman on the field and he does make things happen and I am more or less won over. But I’m not won over enough to pick the Bucs defense over the scoring machine that is the Saints. Not gonna happen. The Bucs D has been torched by big plays all year. Look for Brees to get HUGE numbers, maybe unprecedented ones against the Tampa secondary. Big, huge win. I would bet by 3 TD’s at least. Sorry Tampa, love you much but I’m not dumb.
Jacksonville over Buffalo. Apparently the Mike Shanahan watch has begun in Buffalo If I were him I’d hold out for something better but what do I know? Jax is another confounding team but they should handle the Bills easily. Why is TO invisible and quiet this year? I kinda miss his histrionics, if only for amusement factor.
Indy over Baltimore. Yeah the undefeated teams should be okay this week. Balt looked really good earlier in the year but now, not so much. Remember, the Browns hung with them for 3 quarters. That’s really all you need to know. Manning is Manning. I wouldn’t bet against him, well I did last week and suffered for it (thanks Bill!) but you get my point.
Arizona over St. Louis. I still think the Rams are the worst team in the league. I don’t make this claim lightly, I just feel that they are. AZ is another roller coaster but even they shouldn’t choke against the Rams. If they do, I will write them off forever. Sorry, AGO, but could you blame me?
San Diego over Denver. Do you think SD saw me call them soft? I mean, I don’t want to flatter myself that people actually read my shit but ever since I called them soft they have done nothing but win. Not pretty, but they’re winning. Denver has been losing so I’m going with the streaks. Plus Simms is looking like he might start. What’s up with the former Tampa QB’s starting this week? Grad in Oak and Simms in Denver? Hee…terrifying, really.
Cincy over Oakland. Speaking of Oakland, here they are. Bruce Gradkowski, graduated of the Tampa Bay school of quarterbacks, is going to start for them this weekend and maybe for the foreseeable future. He got a glowing commentary from the coaches, which I choose to see as more of a shot at poor Jamarcus than endorsement of Bruce. Welcome back, Grad, enjoy getting the crap kicked out of you by new powerhouse Cincy.
New England over NY Jets. I heard that Rex Ryan cried this week. If there’s no crying in baseball, there really should be no crying in football. NE owes the Jets some payback and I expect them to get it here. Plus, you know, the whole Indy debacle probably has some of them a little pissy.
Philly over Chicago. Philly is another team that has sucked ass in recent weeks for some inexplicable reason. But Chicago has Cutler (sorry Paxton) and his magical interceptions, so I’m going to expect the Philly D to win this game since the rest of them won’t. I don’t understand these teams. Why is nobody doing what they’re supposed to?
Tennessee over Houston. Vince Young’s going home! Tenn has been on fire. Houston has beaten some teams they should beat and lost to the ones they should. They are what I thought they were. I’m torn here but I’m going to assume VY will shine in Texas just like the good old days.
So there you have it. I’ll be having a New Moon weekend so I don’t know how much footballing I’ll be doing. A girl has to have her priorities and pretty vampires are mine. I’m aware that I’m twisted. I don’t care. I’ll be back next week with picks and we’ll see how the weekend goes. Can’t be any worse than last one was. Enjoy your games, I’ll enjoy my movie.
Last Week: Don’t know, don’t wanna know
Season Record: Not nearly as good as it once was.
What are these “magical interceptions” of which you speak?
Poor JaMarcus. I mean, what else can I say.
It’s kind of a boring season, no? At least, it is for me; the only thing I’m really interested in is how long the Saints can go undefeated (uh, they’re still undefeated, right?).
Hehe Well they seem to multiply every week, so I call them magical! I apologize for picking on your boyfriend. hehe
JaMarcus…it’s a terrible, terrible thing. When your team is extolling the virtues of Bruce Gradkowski, you know you’re sunk.
It is a rather boring season. Too many haves and too many have nots. And yeah, the Saints are still undefeated and will be after they annihilate my Bucs this weekend 🙂 Enjoy!
LOL, gave Belichick your douchetard award huh? I can’t go against that too much but go check out my post on it when you get a chance.
I agree with all of your picks except I am picking a Ravens upset of Indy. Maybe that is just wishful thinking?
Hee, I had to do it. The DT is about snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and that’s pretty much what happened, no? I’ll read your post shortly and see your take on it.
I think it probably is wishful thinking the way Balt has played and Indy coming off a gift win but we shall see!