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Archive for May 8th, 2009

Brothers on the brink.

Brothers on the brink.

Wow…I don’t know if I’ve ever attempted to write a blog where I find myself having a hard time putting into words what I want to say.  This Supernatural episode was not as action packed as I thought it would be but that didn’t matter to me whatsoever because I was so caught up in an emotional torrent that I probably couldn’t have handled anymore.  Plus next week looks killer, so I’m not complaining.

Every now and then a TV show can manage to put together an episode that makes you feel involved, like you’re there and you’re part of it.  It’s rare, I am clearly quite invested in all of my programs but maybe not to the level that I seem to be Supernatural.  I came out of watching that episode feeling like I had been on the receiving end of every single one of those Winchester punches.  I felt bruised and battered and drained.  I spent the whole episode cringing, sighing, yelling and crying.  Okay, it was only a little tear when Dean cried but still, I did cry.  This by no means was one of those perfect episodes that they bring me now and then but it was damn good.

Before I delve into the meat of the episode, I have to throw out major kudos to both Jared and Jensen for this episode.  I felt Sam’s struggle and though I spent the majority of the episode pissed off at him (haha what a new reaction that is for me!), I felt sorry for him as well.  Jensen just ripped my heart out when Dean found that line he was unwilling to cross for his brother.  Also major kudos to that kid who plays young Sammy, that kid’s a great actor and I adore him.

I have to say, after this final showdown and whatever fallout occurs, I damn well better never EVER hear Sam say again that Dean is not strong enough.  He hasn’t used the word weak but that’s what he’s saying over and over again when he questions his brother’s strength.  Not only better he never utter those words, he better apologize and admit his brother is the stronger man.  Dean was tortured on a rack in hell for 30 years, Sam couldn’t even handle it for a two minute hallucination.

Sam used his mom to further his own agenda.

Sam used his mom to further his own agenda.

Speaking of hallucinations, for the first time in the history of this show I loathed Mary Winchester.  There she was implying Dean was weak and Sam was strong and was doing what was right.  What, they couldn’t have had John appear and do that, I’d expect it from him!  I know, she was in Sam’s head and not real but I was telling her to shut the hell up the whole time she was on my screen.

I love little Sam, so much bigger than big Sam.

I love little Sam, so much bigger than big Sam.

I did enjoy how little Sam’s bitch wasn’t about Sam becoming a demon but was instead about him giving up his chance at a real life and going along with his family.  This actually felt real, even though I call bullshit to Sam’s theory that Jessica never would have died had he been there to save her.  I’m sure he does feel that way inside but he knows it’s not true, the YED told him as much.  But, it’s a hallucination, clearly they’re not going to be the truth tellers of the world.

Hallucinatory Dean said all the things that real Dean never would.

Hallucinatory Dean said all the things that real Dean never would.

The granddaddy of the hallucinations was of course Dean himself.  It was truly beautiful watching the scenes cut from mean Dean laying into Sammy up to real Dean pouring his heart out to Bobby and saying he would not sacrifice Sam to save the world.  Mean Dean was saying all the things that I kinda wanted to say to Sam but knew that real Dean never would.  He was terribly hurtful and both boys rocked that moment.  When Sam begged him not to say that he was a monster, that he couldn’t handle that from him, that was beautiful.  That was that moment last week in the car put into words.  Dean thinking that of him would be the most hurtful thing Sam could imagine.  Of course it only made what happened later more poignant.

Cas isn't too comfortable with his actions.

Cas isn't too comfortable with his actions.

Before I could get to feeling too badly for old Sam, along came Castiel to inexplicably free him.  Um, Cas, I know you have your orders, dear angel, but that royally sucked, especially coming on the heels of your being rather dickish to Dean.  He got Dean to pledge himself to God and the angels and he was just so cold.  I know he has to be right now but I miss my cuddly Cas.  At least he’s still showing signs of being conflicted, I suppose.  I will forgive him for this move if it pays off and because Anna got yanked back into heaven (presumably anyway) on his watch, so that pleased me.  Of course she was questioning him the way I was questioning him so I didn’t loathe her as much as I usually do, but she’s gone, so oh well!

Bobby tried to be a good father to Sam.

Bobby tried to be a good father to Sam.

What a moment between Sam and Bobby when Sam was trying to escape.  Bobby was trying to talk him down and Sam was calling him on his inability to shoot him.  That brings to mind the question, would John have killed him had he been there?  Probably.  But Bobby couldn’t and Sam thanked him for that by knocking his ass out with his gun.  Oh Sam.  That was kinda my theme of the show, by the way.  I was saying, Oh Sam.  Oh Bobby.  Oh Cas.  And of course I just kept saying My Dean…my poor Dean.

How beautiful was it that Sam thought he was going to outsmart his brother and Dean caught up to him in no time flat?  Dean knew Sam would try to change his pattern and he went against all of Sam’s instincts and there he was.  Suck it, Sammy.  Well I guess he already did, watching him tear into Ruby’s blood just pissed me off.  Dean damn well better get to kill her.  Of all the unforgivable things Sam has done this season, stopping Dean from killing Ruby ranks right up there; made worse by his choosing her over Dean when Dean offered to go with him.  Jackass. And what makes Sam so sure that killing Lillith will stop this thing?  I couldn’t help but wonder when Ruby was telling him about the human that the devil had to form, of Sam himself.  I’m sure killing Lillith is some kind of red herring to the real seal, after all, Dean’s supposed to close it since he started it.  We’ll see!

Dean's still so beautiful even when fighting with his brother.

Dean's still so beautiful even when fighting with his brother.

And then we got down to it, didn’t we?  Sam telling Dean that he had to get Lillith, that he was the only one who could and Dean pointing out that it was his job, what he was brought back for.  Then Sam tells him he’s not strong enough.  AGAIN.  Dammit.  Then Sam gets a little worked up about Dean telling him what to do and asking him to trust him as he has all these years.  But Sam, really, have you?  This season you certainly haven’t.  Dean then says it, the thing hallucinatory Dean said, albeit with a different level of caring and emotion involved.  He tells Sam that if he truly knows what he’s doing then that makes him worse, it makes him a monster.  This time, though, Sam asks him to say it even though he knows what’s coming.  Hallucination no longer, reality steps in and they fight.

Sam was destroyed to hear that monster word come out of his brothers mouth.

Sam was destroyed to hear that monster word come out of his brothers mouth.

Every punch, every push, every throw hurt in a way none of their other fights have hurt before.  They are well and truly separated now.  Then Sam actually tried to choke his brother.  That was terrible.  “You don’t know me.  You never did and you never will.”  And that’s when Dean finally said it.  “You walk out that door, don’t you ever come back.”  Sam just looks at him like he’s shit on his shoe and walks out.  I knew it would hurt to watch them break but I don’t think I knew quite how much.

This is how we left Dean, uttler destroyed by what has happened with Sam.

This is how we left Dean, uttler destroyed by what has happened with Sam.

A lot of important stuff got said in this episode, one of the best for me was when Dean pointed out to Sam that he was right there.  He was back from hell so why the hell was Sam so determined to make Lillith pay?  It’s what I’ve been saying for awhile now and it was great to hear that expressed.  Sam finally got spill all his anger at having to follow his brother.  I may not agree with it but I understand the resentment.  Dean got to reiterate the fact that he was not going to let his brother become a demon to save the world.

I’m writing this off of one viewing, except for a rewatch of the end, so I’m sure I’m missing stuff and will have to go back and add things after I think about them some more, but I had this on my mind so I’m getting it out while I can.  I forgot to mention that I loved that after Dean pledged himself to the angels and Bobby asked him about it, he said that he damn well doesn’t believe that they’re necessarily doing right but he was going to do anything for Sam.  Sam clearly doesn’t feel the same way, but that’s Dean to the core and I loved that he hadn’t magically bought into Castiel’s program.  I think it’s that that might just save Sam when it comes down to it.

Next week, the finale.  Chuck’s back, which is awesome.  I still fear for Bobby, but at least he made it through this episode.  I have great trepidation and excitement over what might happen and I know that it will probably make me feel as strongly as this one did.  I hope our boys can get back together, I loved that Sam even expressed that to Ruby, the hope that when it was all over they could come back together.  From your mouth to god’s ears, Sammy, if he’ll listen to potential demons that is.

Back with pictures and more thoughts later!

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