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Archive for January 25th, 2009

Days of Our Disgust

One last Jarlena kiss for old time's sake.

One last Jarlena kiss for old time's sake.

Friday was supposed to be a glorious Days day for me; John & Marlena, my long despised Days pairing, was finally leaving the canvas.  When that initial news broke, I was filled with unparalleled TV joy.  Free of the gasping, free of the face eating, free of the eyebrow…free at last!  But a funny thing happened on the way to Friday, spoilers as to John & Marlena’s exit began to leak and they were so disappointing and unsatisfactory that my joy in the moment waned and eventually disappeared.  Watching it play out just as the spoilers indicated didn’t please me in any way, instead I felt bad that a once major pairing was exiting the show in such a ridiculous and awful way.  One thing happened to make me remember why I was glad they were leaving, however, but we’ll discuss that along the way.

So many things were wrong with this exit that I probably can’t begin to cover them all, but we’ll start with the method used to usher them off.  Marlena was having a confrontation with Dr. Taylor over her viewing John’s hypnotherapy session and knowing that his memories were resurfacing.  Dr. Taylor was unhappy with this and decided to attack Marlena with her trusty hypodermic.  Do all doctors on staff carry these around for any confrontation they may come across?  Does Dan have one handy for if Kate stumbles upon him and Chloe screwing on the couch?  Does Lexie have one just in case someone shoves her into another tunnel?  These are the things I’d like to know.  Anyway, struggle ensues and John comes in so Dr. Taylor sticks him instead.  John collapses, Marlena gasps, Bo and Hope arrest Dr. Taylor.

Kayla runs some tests on John (too bad Dan wasn’t around, I’m sure he would have cured him) and Marlena takes some time alone with him.  She gives him a magic kiss and suddenly his memories are all back.  We’re treated to some classic John & Marlena flashbacks, which I had hoped for as part of their exit.  Something they got right, just a small something though.  Kayla comes in and Marlena tells her that John has his memory back.  Kayla says she thought he might based upon the tests she ran…um…okay.  That made zero sense to me but this is Days, medical knowledge is not their forte.  She then tells them that John is paralyzed from the neck down.  John responds to this news by telling Marlena to leave him and go on with her life.  Um, when has she ever done that John?  She refuses and we get some cheesy dialogue about standing by her man.  He says she’d have to give up her whole life to go to Switzerland with him to which she responds that there is no life without him.  How romantic!  Except, to me it’s not cause she does have a daughter who is currently being hunted by a killer with a tendency to talk to himself.  Terrifying.  When John brings up Sami she says, “She’ll survive.”  Oh really?  You’re 100% sure of that?  It’s not as if Sami is gallivanting around town with nary a care in the world.  In case you’re wondering, this is the moment that reminded me why I was glad they were leaving.  That Marlena, the one who ONLY cares about John and herself, is the reason I despised the character for years.  She may not know Sami is pregnant but she damn well knows that she is in danger.  Ugh.

Dee Hall cries tears of joy over getting away from this crapfest.

Dee Hall cries tears of joy over getting away from this crapfest.

Sorry about that, mini-rant over.  Anyway, John then asks Marlena to marry him again.  She gasps and agrees and then runs out to tell Kayla and Brady the news.  Roman shows up to see the nuptuals as well.  Why he was there is beyond me, smiling in the background.  I realize the 3 were all tied to each other but I think going to his 7th Jarlena wedding would be a little bit much.  I don’t think he had any lines, he was just there smirking in the background.  Pointless.  Also on hand was Stefano, who was apparently so upset over John’s paralysis and possible death that he had to send EJ to Italy in his place and run over to the hospital to give him a salute through the window.  Why Stefano would even care is beyond me, short of the fact that HE wasn’t the one behind this illness.  I know, it gave Marlena an opportunity to tell him off, which, been there done that.  But it also did give us a John eyebrow raise, which was appropriate under the circumstances.  I get that they were trying to show that Stefano thought John a worthy opponent and thus respected him, I just don’t think they did it right.  Making him appear upset was all wrong.  Having him say something to John like, “Get well soon and we’ll go another round” would have been more satisfactory to me.

For once, Josh Taylor's expression mirrors my own.

For once, Josh Taylor's expression mirrors my own.

Anyway, John and Marlena pledged their eternal love and that was pretty much that.  Their total scene time on Friday added up to about 14:30.  14:30 to say goodbye to a couple that had been on the show for over 20 years and many fans were heavily invested in.  They don’t get waltz off to a happy future together, they get to wheel John off to a helicopter to fly to Switzerland for treatment.  Frustration, diaper changes, anger…that’s what we get to imagine for them.  Oh I know, we can imagine her love giving him the will to fight and all that, but the reality is that he leaves with his mind intact and his body helpless.  I can’t imagine that fans of this couple felt that was the happy ending they deserved.  I didn’t feel it was the happy ending they deserved and I don’t even like them.

Only Dena Higley and Corday and co can manage to take the exit of a one time supercouple and manage to make it epically unsastisfactory for fans and haters alike.  Fans got to see their hero exit on his back while haters had to feel bad about that exit instead of enjoying it.  I didn’t even get a “That’s a fact” to seal my joy.  So, I really just wanted to say, in my usual long winded way, that I am truly sorry for fans of John & Marlena that they got a send off like that.  I wouldn’t wish that upon any coupling, particularly one that I liked.  I guess now you can make your own happy ending for them, though you shouldn’t have to.  The writers did you wrong, which is not remotely surprising.  They can’t get anything right.

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