Archive for January 13th, 2009

Nothing says romance like hooking up with some other guy at your engagment party!

Nothing says romance like hooking up with some other guy at your engagement party!

Ha, it occurs to me that reading the title of my blog might make the less informed think that I was actually engaged in the happenings on Days of Our Lives right now.  Rest assured, though, nothing could be further from the truth.  I just decided to check in with my obligatory Dan/Chloe blog before they hit the sheets tomorrow.  I would spoiler that but I think everyone knows it’s coming, what with them making out at her engagement party the other day.  Someone not watching might think this wasn’t a big deal, but seeing as her engagement party is to celebrate her future marriage to Lucas, well, it’s not the classiest thing I’ve ever seen happen on Days.  Not that that bar is very high.

One kiss and off comes the shirt!

One kiss and off comes the shirt!

I thought I would examine the evolution of Danloe and let you see why I don’t like it but at the same time I can’t ignore it because it is the most riveting thing on the show right now.  First, one must know the “love story” that is Lucas/Chloe.  See, Chloe came back from Austria minus her husband, Brady.  Initially nobody knew where he was but then it turned out that his grandfather had him kidnapped and thrown into rehab for his drug addiction.  For some reason everyone in town blamed Chloe for his drug addiction even though he is a grown man, but whatever.  Chloe was lonely and one day she popped over to talk to Lucas and ask him be her friend.  He was busy being angry about EJami sex and his sharing the DiMera quarters (for some inexplicable reason) and he agreed.  Even though he was on house arrest, he got some special tool and broke out of his leg monitor and went to the docks where he saw Chloe crying.  So he called her to make her feel better.  It was quite special as I’m sure you can imagine.  Then he called her another day and decided to break out of DiMansion and go to the hotel she was staying in.  She met him in the elevator, there was a power outage, she hyperventilated and he screwed her to shut her up.  It was quite romantic as you can no doubt tell.  They’ve been a couple ever since and supposedly love one another despite the fact that she didn’t want to be a mother to his child and that they don’t seem to have anything in common at all.

What do you mean inappropriate?  I don't know the meaning of that word!

What do you mean inappropriate? I don't know the meaning of that word!

Enter Daniel!  I’ve chronicled the story of Dr. Dan in many a blog (way too many) so I won’t rehash it all here.  Suffice it to say that he has a jones for any sick chick in town and he was romancing a girl (I emphasize the word girl here) half his age after he screwed her grandmother.  It was also quite romantic.  Then the girl got mad that he sexed up her granny and dumped him, which was a relief to most of the viewership of Days.  Then he got with grandma, probably because she was ill with cancer and nothing could be hotter to him.  Then he found out Chloe once had cancer herself and immediately got interested in her.  It was like a light turned on, I’ve never seen anything like it.  Anyway, he started fantasizing about her and she about him and then Grandma dumped him.  Dan and Chloe have had a couple meaningful gazes and tense discussions and of course the infamous exam room breast grope (SO HOT!) and then we got the hot and heavy make out at her engagement party.  Higley, romance is thy middle name!

I'm confused?  Which niece am I hooking up with this week?

I'm confused? Which niece am I hooking up with this week?

So, here’s how it all went down.  Kate bought Chloe a special dress to wear for the big party.  When I say big party, I mean big.  The majority of the party was Lucas, Kate, Chloe, Dan, Chelsea, Stephanie and Max.  Victor showed up to rain on the parade and Nicole and EJ stopped in.  Quite the shindig, 10 whole people!  Chloe went upstairs to change and Dan followed her up there to have a confrontation about how she shouldn’t be going through this charade with Lucas anymore and how she wanted him above and beyond everything.  That apparently made her hot and they started going at it.  Lucas came upstairs after about an hour to find out where Chloe was and hilariously was talking to her through the door asking her what she was doing and what was taking so long.  Poor, clueless Lucas.  He really should just chuck it all and go gay at this point because the woman thing is just not working out for him.  I would give you more detail on the action but that would require more attention than I pay this show these days.

Tomorrow Chloe goes over to Dan’s to tell him she can’t be with him anymore, which inevitably leads to them having sex all over his apartment.  Naturally.  And, unbelievably, they get their own musical montage.  What is there to show?  Breast grope and engagement make out?  And of course him carrying her on the docks after she sprained an ankle.  Really quite a lot of history to mine from there.  The sad thing is that I could have actually approved of this pairing were it not for the breast grope in the exam room.  That turned me off right there and pretty much lost me forever.  They actually have chemistry, they’re attractive together and they make more sense than Lucas/Chloe and Dan/Chelsea ever could or did.  But you don’t start a potential relationship by having a guy sexually harass his patient.  Her finding that hot is just disturbing and I can’t support it, I really can’t.

Why is Higley turning me into such a ho?  What have I ever done to her?

Why is Higley turning me into such a ho? What have I ever done to her?

Even sadder than all that is the fact that they are by far the most interesting pairing on the canvas right now.  EJ/Nicole is all about her babyrabies and his unfortunate hair and cluelessness to her baby deception.  Philip/Stephanie are all about Melanie and boringness.  Chex is just too stupid for words and a return to UncleFucking which worked so well with Stax.  Sami/Rafe is actually a whole new level of boring that I don’t even have words for; I think I slip into a coma every time they’re on screen.  So Dan/Chloe really are it as far as new pairings go.  It’s just unfortunate that Higley went the way she did with them.  I could understand her cheating on Lucas (who wouldn’t?) but her falling for a guy that groped her in an exam room just drives me insane.  Kudos to Higley for ruining yet another potential pairing, at this point she’ll have nothing left to do but have blood relatives hook up.  You know it’s her next step!  Viva la romance!

Day's worst crime by far, ruining the hotness that is EJ with this hair.

Day's worst crime by far, ruining the hotness that is EJ with this hair.

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