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Archive for January 1st, 2009

So, since today is the last major day of college football action, with games all day long and myself firmly planted in my favorite recliner for the duration, I figured it would be the perfect time to live blog the action.  My plan is to post and edit this blog periodically with updates and reactions to all the action.

I must begin by complimenting myself on managing to get the majority of my picks wrong.  I knew it would be a fruitless effort to pick all the games, but I didn’t think I’d do quite as badly as I did.  My mistake?  Picking with my heart over my head.  Just because I hate Notre Dame was no reason not to pick them when I knew they would probably win.  This bit me on the ass and I’ve learned for next year.  Also, I had far too much confidence in the ACC, mistaking parity for mediocrity.  And the Pac-10 and Big East seem to have been insulted by my lack of belief in them, so they’re rising up and making me pay.  Seriously, I think they only have one loss between them.  And they sucked all year!  Bastards.

At least I got the best game right, my Noles kicked the living crap out of Wisconsin.  It was nice to see us on the giving end of that sort of game instead of the receiving end for once.  The Badgers kept it close in the first half but thanks to some turnovers the Noles had a 14-3 lead, then they came out in the second half and pounded the hell out of them.  It was great!  Made me feel good about next year, which is probably stupid.  Me and my ridiculous hope.  Oh well, I’m still enjoying the win.  Gano for MVP.  I am gonna miss having a good kicker next year.  Sigh.

Since Paxton has already pimped me on this, I feel the need to address my lovely pick of GA Tech over LSU.  Firstly, I thought that crappy Lee was going to start for them, so I assumed GA Tech would have at least 3 or 4 turnovers right there.  Secondly, it was that ACC thing again.  Really, GA Tech confounded the hell out of most of the rest of the league so I presumed they could do that to LSU, who was having a down year defensively.  Obviously, I was a tad bit off.  I couldn’t even watch that game it got to blowout status so quickly.   I think I last flipped over when it was 28-3 and I just gave up on that one.

I also seem to have managed to lose a ton of close games.  If it was decided by a touchdown or less, I almost inevitably got the game wrong.  That shouldn’t count against me, I was close!  hehe  No excuses though, it was a bad bad showing by me and it’s continuing already today.

Okay, on to some live commentary.  I’m starting the day off with an impressive 0-1.  It’s early of course but Iowa is up 21-0 before the half so I’m going to assume that they manage to hold on.  I think South Carolina has about 4 turnovers at this point.  Who to blame for this one?  You know who I’m gonna blame.  It’s Spurrier’s fault.  What in the hell is he doing depriving me of watching Smelley and instead starting Garcia?  I believe Smelley is a senior and therefore he should be able to play this final game so I can have one more time of writing about Smelley’s Cocks.  What is the man thinking?  This is clearly a vendetta due to my hatred of him over the years, he’s trying to get back at me by taking away my one potential joy in this stupid game.  The Cocks just got their first turnover after I typed this, so perhaps I’m inspiring them to new heights.  Or I’m giving Garcia the opportunity to throw a 5th pick before the half.  HA!  He just threw the ball right into an Iowa guys hands but he dropped it.  He’s trying his best to live up to my lofty standards clearly.  That or he’s trying to ensure that I get to see Smelley in the second half.  He better hope so because that’s the only way I’ll be watching the second half.

Okay, that’s enough for now, I’ll be back after one with some commentary on the Clemson/Nebraska and Georgia/Michigan State games, as well as hopefully some Smelley sightings!

I’m back with a mini-rant.  When is ESPN going to fire Mark May and Lou Holtz and make the world a more enjoyable place?  I can’t even tolerate listening to them at halftime and that’s all I have at this moment.  This insipid Ask Dr. Lou segment made me want to hurl my shoe through my TV.  I could do this since I’m getting a new one sometime this month, but I think I’ll wait til the new one arrives before destroying the old one.  Mumble Mouth adds nothing to the broadcast and I’m sick of him.  I’m also sick of Regis and Notre Dame.  That’s right, Reeg, accept the mediocrity and find something else to do or someone better to root for.  USC has room on their bandwagon.  That’s all, I just had to express my displeasure with halftime.

Well now I’m being forced to watch a few more minutes of Iowa/SC because it is not yet 1 pm and the good players, like my Knowshon!, are not yet on the field.  Saw Spurrier at halftime and he said he was sticking with Garcia.  Now I have proof that he’s out to get me.  Sure, stick with the guy who has forgotten what team he plays for instead of going to Smelley and giving me one shred of delight in this, another bowl loss for me.  Wait a minute!  It was a trick!!!!  Smelley is wearing a helmet!!! Garcia is not!!!  Nole wins!  I should have known Spurrier was lying, it’s all he ever does!  At least this lie has pleased me.  Smelley and the Cocks are on the field.  Can you feel the turnaround happening?  Good lord, Smelley throws a nice 9 yard pass and the receiver fumbles the ball, Iowa’s ball.  Clearly not Smelley’s fault, but also clearly not going to be good for the Cocks.  I give up, they even managed to ruin Smelley’s triumphant return.

Now that I’m officially done with the Outback Bowl, I will instead focus on GA/Mich State and some on Clemson/Nebraska, though I find the first game far more interesting than the last.  Two of the best running backs in the game will be going head to head and though I predict GA with a big win, I will enjoy watching Javon Ringer get some carries against that defense.  I will also enjoy seeing my boyfriend Knowshon Moreno for what could be his last college game.  Love him so!  It’s windy in Orlando so we’ll see how the game goes.

Ha, not to break topic but I just saw on the little ticker that an anonymous Jet player was quoted as saying that Mangini wasn’t the reason they weren’t in the playoffs and that King Brett created a lot of tension in the locker room.  Apparently Thomas Jones took some shots at him over the radio too.  Hilarious!  Should make the Favre watch more interesting anyway.

Oh dear, Michigan State just stupidly tried a fake punt and of course got stopped.  You have to play field position against a team like GA, not try trickery.  They were moving the ball fairly well but that will strip all your momentum away right there.  And just like that Georgia is at the MSU 20 yard line.  Yup…big mistake Michigan State.  I admire your moxy but you weren’t smart.  On an apparent missed handoff we had Knowshon and Stafford running side by side for a several yards before Knowshon realized that he should throw a block.  They managed a first down though.  I really don’t get the hype on Stafford.  He misses way too many wide open receivers.  MSU blitzed on third down and was able to take him down, forcing a field goal.  Could have been much worse of course, but not a bad drive anyway.

I tried to watch some Clemson/Nebraska but I won’t kid you, I was bored.  Every time I flip over there, someone is punting.  Wake me when somebody does something there, I’ll stick with the better game.  Mich State punted again, but they are moving the ball pretty well on that GA defense.  GA is taking over at their own 15, so we’ll see what kind of drive they can mount here.  Well they started out well, with Knowshon taking a screen 11 yards, then Stafford threw the ball to a Michigan State player.  A personal foul tacked on and Michigan State is knocking on the goal line.  I guess the pick was partly the fault of the receiver, but still, Stafford could have thrown a better ball.  The Georgia D managed to hold them to a field goal though, so we’re all even with 4:54 left to go in the first quarter.  This game is enjoyable, unlike the other two currently airing.

Let’s just take a moment to enjoy Knowshon Moreno, shall we?  Every time he touches the ball they seem to pick up a first down, be it on a carry or a screen pass.  He’s a beautiful runner with an awesome name, thus why I declared him my college boyfriend a year ago.  I intend for him to be my pro boyfriend when he hits the NFL too.  I think he’s gonna be a good one.  Man…UGA was moving the ball again but they ran a reverse and AJ Green fumbled the ball, Michigan State ball around midfield.  This is the way to keep yourself in the game, MSU.  That’s the way to lose, Georgia.  The Georgia D responded with a nice sack following a false start penalty, so MSU is digging a big hole for themselves now.  Watch for a turnover now.  I’m impressed with the Bulldog D right now, they’re really responding and knocking Michigan State back, 3rd and 24 now.  Well of course UGA shot themselves in the foot by roughing the passer.  Bad call, it was not helmet to helmet, but still, really stupid when they had a stop.  Of course Michigan State tries another trick play that fails.  Wide receiver pass that got brought down for a loss of 6 yards, followed by Ringer getting hit for another loss.  End of the quarter…the GA D is impressive thus far.

By the way, I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors.  I’ll clean this bad boy up once I’m done live blogging but for now you’ll have to endure whatever slip occurs!  Bear with me!  Why UGA just doesn’t get the ball to Knowshon every play is beyond me.  Stafford isn’t doing much of anything in this game.  Michigan State attempted a 53 yard field goal and missed, so we’re still knotted up at 3-3.  This game has stalled quite a bit.  A quick check-in with Clemson/Nebraska has Clemson at 3rd and goal.  I’ll stay here for a second.  And of course, no TD. ha.  Borrrring.  On check back, they didn’t score at all, so they must have gone for a TD.  Morons.

Well that’s crazy, Georgia’s punter dropped the ball when he tried to kick it.  Then he picked it up and tried to run but of course failed.  Sloppy game by the Georgia offense/special teams is really keeping Michigan State around.  They got the ball on the GA side again.  Michigan State got held to a field goal.  Very weird, with all 3 of their timeouts GA let about 20 seconds tick off the clock around midfield.  They finally called a timeout with 32 seconds left.  That was some stupid gameplanning.  Alright, I’m sorry, Stafford looks like crap today.  He’s nowhere near his receivers and he’s running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.  You know he’s a lock to be be Detroit’s first pick in the draft now.  Maybe I will get my back to back 0-16!  We’re headed to halftime now with MSU up 6-3 thanks to Georgia miscues.

Just as I was writing that Neb/Clemson was scoreless the Clemson D took a fumble in for a TD.  It’s about time something happened in that game.  It’s been too boring to even blog about up til this point.  A quick glance at the Outback Bowl scores shows me I missed very little, 31-10 final for Iowa.  Smelley went 16/31 for 182 yards and a TD though, unlike Garcia’s 9/18 for 79 yards and 3 picks.  Might have been a different game if Stevie had listened to me in the first place!  Oh well, farewell Smelley, I shall miss you, well not you, but your name.

Well Clemson’s doing their darndest to give the game to Nebraska now.  Just gave them a 53 yard field goal and then threw a pick with just over a minute to go in the game.  Neb has the ball at the Clemson 32…but it was picked off by Clemson!  Well that was fun!  The ball was returned to the Nebraska 13 yard line.  Talk about a momentum swing.  Of course, they follow that play with a sack and a huge loss of yards.  Hey the sacker was Suh!!!  A boy named Suh!  Nebraska does produce some good names, like my Bucs Ruud!  TD Clemson!  Threw a fade that looked like it might go out of bounds.  Well that’s some wild happenings with less than a minute left.  There’s still 35 seconds on the clock now, so I won’t presume that we’re done.  Yes, we are, they took a knee to head to the half.  Well that was cool, UGA is back now though!

Ok, real subject change now…apparently Barroid Bonds had hip surgery and won’t be ready for spring training.  I’m sorry, did I miss when he was suddenly relevant and back to playing baseball again?  Does he think anybody is going to want him now, another year removed from baseball and with a bum hip?  Why are athletes so delusional?  The ticker really is providing me with a lot to rant about today isn’t it?

We’ve had two punts to start the second half of the Capital One Bowl, with Georgia pinned deep near their end zone.  Of course Knowshon whips off 10 yards to give them some breathing room.  Just let him do everything GA.  Of course not, they let Stafford throw and he skips the ball off the ground into his wide receiver.  Pathetic game for him today.  9/18 for 93 yards so far.  Lovely.  Obligatory shot of Mom watching her son suck and smiling wryly.  Hehe love that shot.  He managed to get a first down though, so maybe they should show Mom more often.  Yeah, he had a good drive that time and threw a TD finally.  Maybe we’ll have some more action now!

Georgia’s defense gave up some yardage on the next drive but got a timely sack and held, followed by a punt that was returned 39 yards and got a 15 yard penalty added to that.  Yeah I think the momentum might have swung now.  On flip to the Clemson/Neb game, I got see a Boy named Suh get another tackle for loss.  I really can’t wait for him to get into the NFL, I love cool names!  Looks like we’ve had a momentum shift here too, Nebraska is down by 4 but stopped Clemson deep, should have great field position on the punt, except they muffed it and it looks like Clemson got the ball.  That’s one way to swing field position!  Haha.  Funny happenings in this game.

Oops, while I was watching that Georgia got a quick touchdown.  17-6 now at the end of the third quarter.  This game feels over despite the relatively close score.  We’ll see.  No sooner do I type that than GA kicks the ball out of bounds.  Nobody wants to hang on to the momentum do they?  Georgia held them, however, so maybe things are now going to go as I envisioned when I did my pick.  It’d be nice to get some right today!  Wow Georgia had to punt from the goal line but their punter bombed a 61 yarder, so MSU has the ball on their 35 instead of on GA’s side of the ball.  Nice one.

Hmmm I appear to be watching the wrong game.  Clemson scored somehow and I flip back to see Nebraska rip off a huge run to get to the Clemson 18.  58 yard run.  What happened to the snoozefest we were being treated to for most of the first half?  And Nebraska just scored a TD.  That might have taken a minute!  21-17 Clemson now.  I’ll enjoy watching this one after Georgia/Mich State is over.

Not over in the Capitol One Bowl though.  Michigan State is first and goal from the 4 right now.  And Ringer takes it in for a TD.  5 point game since the two point conversion failed.  Well we do have a game here and in the other one.  Good, much better than my Outback Bowl boredom of earlier.  Georgia is moving the ball efficiently now, at the MSU 25 with under 6 minutes to play.  This is the kind of drive they needed to put together.  Efficient short passes and heavy Knowshon runs.  Whoo hoo, touchdown for my boyfriend!  Knowshon on a 20 yard pass.  Looked like he might have been just out of bounds but his right foot touched down in bounds first so it’ll stand likely.  24-12 now with 3:43 to go.  I think we can safely call this one.  Meanwhile Nebraska has gone ahead of Clemson, 23-21 with a whole quarter to play.  I’ll switch to that one as soon as this one is over.

Why do teams pooch kick?  Now MSU has the ball right near midfield.  That’s just foolish in my eyes.  I hate that play and want it removed from the playbook along with the pitch play.  There’s no play that I hate more than that one.  The Georgia D started sacking right and left though so I guess it didn’t hurt anything to pooch it.  I still hate it though.  Wow, MSU just picked up a first down on 4th and a mile.  I don’t know, he backed up on the play though so he may have ran away from the first down marker.  Interesting.  Well the measurement came up just short anyway.  They’re going to review it to see the spot, worth doing of course but I don’t think it’ll change anything.  Yep Georgia ball.

Well points for Michigan State, they hung a lot closer to UGA than I thought they would.  They were helped by turnovers and field position but Georgia was the better team.  24-12 final.

It seems I missed nothing in Nebraska/Clemson, still 23-21 with 11 mins to go.  Terrible tackling by Clemson is leading to Nebraska moving the ball pretty easily here.  In a quick aside, I’m proud because someone found my blog by looking for Smelley Succup.  It’s the little things that please me folks!  Nice, Conner knocked down a 3rd and 4 pass for Clemson.  Under 9 mins to go.  I’ll catalog anything important but I’m gonna take a quick break before the Rose Bowl starts.  We’re over 3200 words at this point and we haven’t done that one yet.  Longest blog eva.

I have returned and this one is over, 26-21.  Poor tackling doomed Clemson there at the end.  And I’m now 1-2 on the day, whoo hooo!  Ooooh big hoopla, JoePa blew off interviews and pregame junk, feeling it would take all the attention away from his players.   I bet Petey boy didn’t do that!  He can’t stand to be away from the cameras.  PSU could get fined for Paterno blowing off the interview but he doesn’t care.  Crotchety old man.  I don’t get why people love him so, but whatever.  I just want him to retire so Bobby will.  Is that too much to ask?  It is all about me don’t you know?

Ha, the chairman of the Rose Bowl is apparently named Corky.  What is with these sports poobah’s being named Corky and Scooter and Hootie?  Cloris Leachman with the coin toss!  Dance Cloris, Dance!  Of course USC won the toss.  Penn State gets to start on offense.  No, Kirk, this is not the matchup that I wanted to see.  I wanted to see USC stuck in some crappy bowl actually.  But that would be against the law, I’m well aware.  Off we go!

We start the game with Penn State gaining all of 3 yards on offense and nearly throwing a pick on 3rd down.  I will not attempt to name the name of the safety that made that play, I’m sure you’ve heard of him, Monaluga or something like that.  Now for USC’s first possession.  Loss of 2 on, what?  The pitch play!!!  I have already ranted about said play, but just a reminder, I hate that call.  So keep on using it, Pete, that’s fine by me.  Well USC came up 2 yards short of the first down so they’re punting on the first possession too.  Well I won’t make you go through each possession with me, I’ll be back when something happens.

Well Penn State got one first down and had to kick, USC got a couple first downs, then fumbled and it was recovered by Penn State.  However, PSU was lined up offsides so the turnover no longer counts.  Yikes, that’s a big mistake.  Then they barely got a first down a fake punt.  These are the kinds of things that happen for the Trojans, don’t you know?  A big first down run and a big TD pass.  7-0 USC .  And so it begins…

I just realized that Orange Bowl is tonight…I don’t think I’ll be blogging that one.  Firstly, because I anticipate it will be boring.  Secondly,  because I am going to be over 4000 words easy by the time I’m done with the Rose Bowl.  Thirdly, I would like to retain my sanity and get away from the computer sometime today.  Fourthly, my cats will inflict retribution on me for ignoring them much longer.  Fifthly, I have to do my playoff preview blog tomorrow and I’d like to be able to both see and type to do it.  So, maybe I’ll pop in with an update from the Orange Bowl at the end, but I won’t be blogging the whole thing.  Sorry for that!

And of course, Penn State was driving and had a huge pick up, illegal motion penalty calls that back, loss of something like 45 yards on a bad shift.  Penn State is moving the ball on this much vaunted defense though.  Without the mental lapses they’d be winning right now probably.  They’ve moved it back inside the ten yard line though, so that penalty was only a minor setback.  Not bad.  We may just have a game here.  They just wasted a time out though, with only 10 seconds left in the quarter, why not let it run down?  Oh well, maybe there wasn’t enough time on the play clock for that.  Worked out well enough for them anyway, Carter ran it in for a TD.  7 All!

Well USC is driving in response to Penn State’s TD.  Yep, TD.  On the plus side for Penn State, Joe McKnight just went out with an injury.  That’s one playmaker gone, not that they don’t have a dozen more to take his place.  Mark Sanchez took that one just like Penn State’s QB did on the last drive.  14-7 now.  Hmm I guess Penn State lost a running back too.  That stinks.  USC just stopped Penn State on 3rd and short with a nice tackle.  Not surprisingly, Penn State is not taking a chance and is punting, fortunately the USC returner fell and the ball went bouncing down to the 16 yard line.  Very nice.

Ahh again, Penn State does something stupid and gets a late hit on the sidelines to tack on 15 more yards.  USC is already around their own 20 yard line.  This is taking no time at all.  16 yard pick up, 25 yard pick up, 15 yard penalty…you get the picture.  McKnight is out for the rest of the game apparently, not that this seems to be an issue right now.  Why is there no Pete Carroll cam?  I was sure he’d have his own special camera with extra wonderful lighting to show how perfect he is?  I haven’t even seen Pete since the game started.  Big gyp.  USC was held to a field goal attempt anyway, so we’re 17-7 now.   Good stop on 3rd down there by the Nittany Lions.

The USC guys are doing some retarded dance on the sidelines as they prepare to kick off.  Do they do this every time or only for the Rose Bowl?  Do they think this weird little kick and move your and lean thing was cool in any way?  It would be funny if one of them would trip and then knock each other over like dominoes though.  USC stopped Penn State on 3rd and short again, if they get a TD on this next drive I will be tempted to call this one done.

The media should really try to be less critical of USC.  Really, they are just so harsh!  Could Flutie have been a little more in love with them during that commentary?  Incredible!  Beautiful!!!  Gag.  They are making it look easy right now.  3rd and short and they pick up about 20 yards.  Of course, Penn State actually gets a stop behind the line of scrimmage but they were offsides.  Ahhh shot of the cranky old man in his booth.  That won’t make him any less cranky.  At least the defense responded with a sack right after that.  Of course USC responds with a first down.  You might want to cover that Williams guy, Penn State.  Just a hint, seeing as he’s gotten the ball every other play.  14/17 for 211 yards already for Sanchez.  Yeah, that’s not the kind of day Penn State needed for him to have.  Man, they converted a 3rd and 13, again with a pass to Williams.  Penn State was only playing about 10 yards off the guy.  Good defense you got there Lions.  TD, just like that.  24-7 with 1:24 to go in the first half.  Wanna bet they start the second half with a TD?  Anybody?  Gah, the Pac-10 is going to be 5-0 in the bowls after today.  Yes, I was one of those that called them weak and sad and sure enough they’re making me look dumb.

Oh naturally, Penn State breaks out a huge run but then fumbles and USC gets the ball.  USC is already acting like they’ve won on the sidelines.  Carroll is waving around game balls.  I wish I could believe Penn State could come back but I am pretty sure this game is over.  USC with only a minute left is gonna try for that TD.  Well thank you, Herbstreit, I was going to shit a brick when Musburger was yammering about how we’ve never seen what USC is doing in this decade.  Hello, it’s called the 90’s and it was the Noles.  They were just a couple wins away from 5 national championships you douche.  Now I’m mad.  Thank you Kirk for restoring some order by bringing up the Noles.  Jackass Musberger, you are dead to me!

Penn State is helping USC again, getting another 15 yard personal foul penalty.  And we have a touchdown.  20 yard screen pass.  Alright, my friends, I’m going to take leave of you for now.  I might return if Penn State mounts a come back, but you know and I know that the likelihood of that happening is about equal to the likelihood that Jensen Ackles and/or Robert Pattinson are going to knock on my door with roses in one hand and a diamond ring in the other.   Only in my dreams!

Thanks to those of you who stuck with me all through this monster of a blog.  You deserve both commendations and condolences for sticking it out!  I’ll pop back in if anything is worthy of my attention, but odds are I’m done for the night.  Happy bowling folks!

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