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Archive for December 20th, 2008

Dark Days Ahead

Since this will probably be my last Days post of the year, unless something major occurs that final week, I thought I’d take a look at the storylines we have going on and a little bit about what’s coming up, though I’m not quite the spoiler whore I used to be, so I don’t know a lot.  However, it’s not very hard to project is it?

Regular readers may be surprised to hear me say this, but from what I’ve read on the John/Marlena leaving front, I am rather irritated at their send off.  Yep, you read that right.  I’m not gonna pretend to be sorry that they’re going, but you’re talking about a legacy couple that’s been on screen for 20 some years, on and off, so why did I read that their exit is going to be facilitated by the new psychiatrist?  Something along the lines of them uniting to help her deal with her issues.  The hell?  Don’t they have enough issues of their own to deal with without adding on some extras for some character that the audience doesn’t give a damn about?  I loved Amanda Cory as much as the next gal and I wouldn’t mind if NuShrink stays but I really don’t think that John and Marlena’s final story should be about her, do you?  Hell, you could have Stefano have a come to Jesus moment and descramble John’s brain and it would make more sense than this!  John could have fallen off Bo’s rickety ladder and become psychic…whatever.  I may not be a J&M fan but if I was one I would be royally pissed at that kind of send off.  Their exit should be filled with fun cheesy flashbacks, big hair and raised eyebrows and a chorus of gasps.  This long time viewer will accept nothing less.  Of course I’m going to get it, this is Higley we’re talking about.

Since I mentioned Bo’s fall from his ladder…why not go there?  Was this some long lost James Reilly storyline that was lying around and they decided to incorporate it in tribute after his death?  Why is Bo hearing the fakest kid cry I’ve ever heard?  At first I assumed that he was hearing Theo’s big surprise present, which is some moronic baby doll.  That doesn’t seem to be the case though, it looks like someone is going to be in peril.  I haven’t read up about this one, I’m just assuming.  If Bo is gonna be a psychic, can’t he use his powers for good?  Maybe he could envision one of Kate’s horrible future ensembles and go burn it before she can wear it.  He could foresee a Sami screech and stop that in it’s tracks.  He could see Melanie plotting to go after Philip and issue a preemptive strike by having Philip arrested and thrown in jail for his own safety.  Most importantly, he could envision Dr. Dan fondling his next defenseless patient and go give him a beat down from hell.  If we’re gonna go for camp, Higley, just go for it for god’s sake.

Speaking of Dr. Dan….really Higley?  Is this your idea of kicking off a possible romance?  Patient breast fondling (shout out to Paxton!)?  I have seen some sick shit in my day but very little has turned my stomach the way that scene went down.  It was foul.  Throw in the fact that the girl he was fondling was donating her bone marrow to save the woman he’s dating and it becomes downright reprehensible.  And, even worse than that, we’ve not seen that scene just the one time, it’s been flashed back to almost every damn day since it happened, a couple times it was multiple times in the same episode.  Cause god forbid we not see Dr. Dan getting all hot and bothered remembering his groping, we have to see Chloe getting worked up about it.  What is wrong with that woman?  How could she find that shit remotely attractive?  She should be filing a complaint with Chief of Staff Dr. Johnson (though that would require them to remember that Kayla is the Chief and give her a scene, which would be unacceptable, silly me!)  I really don’t have the words to express the amount of disgust I feel for this storyline.  I’m glad sexual harrassment is hot to Higley, that and elevators.  God forbid she ever get stuck in one with some innocent bystander.

Moving on, how about that hot triangle between Stephanie, Philip and Melanie?  What’s that you say?  It’s not remotely hot in any way?  But Higley assures us that it is.  She knows romance people!  See breast fondling for exhibit A!  Seriously, I can deal with Philip/Stephanie.  It’s far better for me than Phloe and Stax, so I can support them coming together.  I think they have some chemistry.  It’s not light the world on fire hot, but it’s decent and given time it could get interesting.  I like the workplace aspect to it, because it’s nice that someone in Salem is working.   But there’s no point in getting interested, is there?  Because it’s clear as day that this story isn’t about Philip/Stephanie.  It’s about Melanie (like all things must be).  If you weren’t brained by the anvil the other day when Philip said he’d much rather get his hand mangled in a garbage disposal than be with Melanie, well, check your head anyway, maybe you missed it.  Philip hiring Melanie to work at his office made no sense whatsoever…her stalking him and Stephanie around town isn’t funny or remotely good soap.  Now she occasionally gets great lines, “Tis the season, bitch” might be the best thing I’ve heard in months on this show, but still, everything does NOT have to be about her.  And Philip should NOT be interested in an 18 year old wannabe vixen.  I was one of the people who initially liked Melanie but when the show became all about her and she was sneering her way through every scene it got to be enough.  Stop the madness, Higley, let Philip have his brain back.

The baby triangle continues to excite me down to the tips of my toes.  Or is that athlete’s foot?  More likely than to find this crap remotely interesting.  Safe in the safe house?  I don’t think so.  I get that Higley is trying to recreate Roman/Marlena here but it’s not working.  The chemistry isn’t there, for one, the acting isn’t there, for another, and the story just sucks anyway.  Rafe gets stabbed by the killer and goes back to the safe house without reporting it?  Why not set up a sting, since he knows the killer knows who he is now.  Lead him to the wrong place and catch him?  This makes entirely too much sense doesn’t it?  I don’t know what I’m thinking.  They could have at least let Hilda know what was going on.  She’s the only one in the whole mess that I remotely like at this point.  Oh, and if I see Rafe shirtless one more time before I see more EJ skin or Philip?  I will throw a shoe at my TV.  That guy has been shirtless more than both of the pretties combined in the last year or two and I find that ridiculous.  Blasphemy Dena.  Be in fear.

The EJole baby situation is just filling me with dread.  We all know where it’s going, I’ve said it here for a couple months now.  Nicole will get Sami’s baby, that Sami ridiculously will put up for adoption through that stupid convent.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see this one coming.  I guess I should be happy that EJ’s going to get to be part of his kids life, even if it’s not the same mother.  So stupid.  Really, it wears me out just thinking about it.  All the characters have been ruined in this storyline, even my beloved EJ, so I hope Higley is happy.  Nicole was the one character that she actually made more interesting, but she fouled that up too by making her a needy wimp.  Sigh.

I think that’s all the big stuff coming up, I’m not talking about Chelea/Max because they are absolutely worth not one minute of my time.  I don’t know how Days ratings keep going up with the shit we’re being shovelled, but since I’m still here watching I guess I can’t cast stones upon the newbies that are checking it out.  I just hope they’re not liking it either.  I’ll be back in the new year with new and old bitches I’m sure.  Til then, get your Horton Christmas ball out and get it on your tree.  Have a great holiday!

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