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Archive for December 19th, 2008

Bowl Blitz

I haven’t forgotten about college football, friends, it’s just that the 3 weeks of no games period kinda diminishes my love for and interest in the game.  Also the fact that my team sucked balls at the end of the year did nothing to inspire my love for the old NCAA either.  But the bowl season kicks off tomorrow so I felt it was time to talk a little about each game.  We’ll go in order, but I forewarn you that some of these games have no meaning for me and nor do I know jack about the teams involved.  In those cases, I will pick a winner and move on.  I’m sure you understand.

Before I start, how about we take a moment of celebration to gloat over Sam Bradford winning the Heisman.  Do I care about Sam Bradford vs. Colt McCoy vs. Grant Harrell?  No, I do not.  They’re all good and interchangeable to me.  But I do care about Tebow not being a two time winner, so thank you voters.  All 3 of those QB’s had better years statistically and were equal in the win/loss column, so you did the right thing.  Go to the NFL, Timmy, I’m sick of you and I have it on good authority that the Jags are dumb enough to take you.  Take the money and run!

Dec. 20th, Eaglebank Bowl: Wake Forest vs. Navy

What the hell is the Eaglebank Bowl?  Who is Eaglebank?  Clearly this game is not in my area of the world.  Navy has a decent offense but Wake Forest has a confounding offense that drives me insane.  They’ve beaten my morons 3 years in a row, so they ought to be able to beat Navy.  The Demon Deacs get the pick.

Dec. 20th, New Mexico Bowl:  Colorado State vs. Fresno State

Who knew Colorado State even qualified to go to a bowl?  I’ll take Fresno State here.

Dec. 20th, Magicjack St. Petersburg Bowl:  Memphis vs. South Florida

Alright, I live in Tampa and I have no idea what Magicjack is.  The hell?  A friend informed me that it’s a phone jack, I’ve seen the infomercials.  This might be the lamest sponsor I’ve ever heard of.  I’ll take USF, it’s a home game in their home stadium.

Dec. 20th, Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl:  BYU vs. Arizona

Is BYU even allowed in Vegas?  Isn’t that some kind of religious violation or something?  I’ll take them anyway, Arizona did nothing all year.

Dec. 21st, R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl:  Southern Miss vs. Troy

Hee, you can tell we’re in the games I know jack about, because all I want to do is comment on the damn bowl names.  I miss the days of the old Independence Bowl.  Although the Independence Bowl did sell out and become my favorite bowl name of all time, the Poolan Weedeater Independence Bowl.  Good times.  My spelling may be wrong on that but that’s how it was pronounced.  Awesome.  Uhhh..pick…Troy, why not?

Dec. 23rd, San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl:  Boise State vs. TCU

Hmmm, this appears to be the second bank already on this very short list.  Is this where our bail out is going?  To fund the ludicrous out of date bowl system?  I best not dwell on this idea or rage will overtake me.  I love Boise State here, their offense is awesome; I’ll love them for all time for taking down Oklahoma a couple of years ago,  Innovative team and I want their OC as the new FSU head coach (you know, next century sometime when Bobby is gone).  This could be a good one but I like Boise State.

Dec. 24th, Sheraton Hawaii Bowl:  Hawaii vs. Notre Dame

I wonder, is Notre Dame the only 6 win team that made a bowl?  I recall hearing that 7 wins were the guide this year, but of course the guide doesn’t count when it comes to the Irish!  I’m too lazy to look it up, but we’ll go with it, conspiracy theorist that I am.  Why should it matter to them, they’re college football U baby.  Ok…they WERE college football u….like 30 years ago.  When will people get the hell off their jocks?  How many bowl games have they lost in a row?  Yet you keep on inviting them.  And they get to go to Hawaii of all places.  Whatever.  I’ll take the home team because I refuse to pick Notre Dame, even though they should win this one.  Maybe Weis will get another 10 year extension if they achieve the pinnacle of awesomeness by winning the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl.

Dec. 26th, Motor City Bowl:  Florida Atlantic vs. Central Michigan

Um, we’ll go with Central Michigan, this is almost a home game.

Dec. 27th, Meineke Car Care Bowl:  West Virginia vs. North Carolina

Oooh this is a tough one.  North Carolina has played some great games this season but they were tailing off by the end of the year.  I don’t think a whole lot of the Big Least conference, so I’m not overly enamored of this pick, but I’m going with West Virginia here.

Dec. 27th, Champs Sports Bowl:  Wisconsin vs. Florida State

My Noles have had a couple of heartbreaking bowl losses in recent years but this one does not scare me at all.  Wisconsin’s running game can be a force but I think the Nole D will be more than ready to handle it.  I also think the team speed is something Wisc isn’t used to facing.  Noles roll.

Dec. 27th, Emerald Bowl:  Miami vs. Cal

I think this is essentially a home game for Cal but you all know by now how I feel about the Pac-10 Conference.  Miami had a roller coaster year and I just found out their QB is suspended.  My pick just magically changed, funny how that works.  Cal gets this one.

Dec. 28th, Independence Bowl:  Northern Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech

How about that?  Earlier I was whining about the lack of normal bowl names and I cited the Independence Bowl and here it is, intact yet again.  Who knew?  Not only that but my alma mater is actually playing in it.  This shows you how very closely I have been following the bowl selection process doesn’t it? hehe  I’ll go with Northern, since I got my degree from there.  Funny, when I went there the concept of Northern being in a bowl was unheard of.  I transferred there from FSU (yes, I was insane) and my friends made me go to a game with them.  They were in the band and I got to sit with them.  Northern was in the midst of the longest losing streak in the nation.  I watched with horror as that terrible team played in their tiny stadium and I told my friends they would never see me set foot in that stadium again.  My high school could have beaten them.  I was true to my word and stayed home and watched real football on TV from then on!

Dec. 29th, Papajohns.com Bowl:  NC State vs. Rutgers

Hee, it’s our first bowl named after a website.  And a pizza place of course.  I don’t like Papa John’s.  Rutgers underachieved all year, Schiano has to be sickened that he didn’t take the Michigan job.  Hee.  Meanwhile NC State blew all year and then came out of nowhere to start beating teams like UNC and Miami.  I have no idea who to take here…I guess I’ll go with momentum and take NC State.  I don’t like it though.

Dec. 29th, Valero Alamo Bowl:  Missouri vs. Northwestern

This actually has the makings of a good game.  NW can be kinda decent on offense, could be a shoot out.  I’ll go with the underachieving Missouri and Chase Daniel though, I trust him a lot more than whomever helms Northwestern’s offense.

Dec. 30th, Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl:  Maryland vs. Nevada

Roady’s?  I don’t think I wanna know.  Aren’t Roady’s those guys that lug bands equipment from city to city?  Are they humanitarians?  Maryland is the pick, I haven’t a clue.

Dec. 30th, Pacific Life Holiday Bowl:  Oklahoma State vs. Oregon

I’m still pissed at Oregon for beating Oregon State and thus giving USC the Pac-10 title.  Shouldn’t they have intentionally lost just to ensure that USC did not get the title?  How hard is this?  Every team in the Pac-10 has to hate them don’t they?  Anyway, OK State has a potent offense, I don’t see the Ducks hanging with them.

Dec. 30th, Texas Bowl:  Western Michigan vs. Rice

I’m pretty sure Rice is in Texas…so there you go.

Dec. 31st, Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl:  Houston vs. Air Force

I don’t know about you but I’m not picking against a military academy in a bowl that is named after the Armed Forces.  That would be just wrong.

Dec. 31st, Sun Bowl:  Oregon State vs. Pittsburgh

I think I’ll go with what should be considered an upset here, since Pitt is ranked and Oregon State isn’t.  I’m thinking my boy Jacquizz will be healthy again and make the difference.  He’s why they beat USC, I think they can take Pitt.

Dec. 31st, Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl:  Boston College vs. Vanderbilt

Ahh Vandy, how quickly we devolved from the dream season to the forgotten one.  I don’t see the dream returning here, BC should win this one rather easily.

Dec. 31st, Insight Bowl:  Kansas vs. Minnesota

Not sure which way to go on this one, Minnesota has had a surprising season and Kansas was not nearly as good as everyone thought they’d be.  I guess I’ll go with Kansas, their QB should be good enough to push them over the top.

Dec. 31st, Chick-Fil-A-Bowl:  LSU vs. Georgia Tech

Awww, didn’t this used to be the Peach Bowl?  I miss the Peach Bowl.  This is essentially a home game for the Yellow Jackets and I like them to edge LSU.  LSU’s QB is error prone and GA Tech likes to blitz quite a bit.  They run that triple option offense that can confuse even the best defensive teams.  I like Tech in a close one.

Jan. 1st, Outback Bowl:  South Carolina vs. Iowa

Hmmm…this is another one that’s hard to call.  When I’m in doubt, you know who I’m going to go with, just out of sheer love for the names.  What will I do when Smelley and Succup are gone from the Cocks?  It’ll be  a sad, sad day.

Jan. 1st, Capital One Bowl:  Georgia vs. Michigan State

How far the mighty Dawgs have fallen, from #1 to the Capital One Bowl.  That’s okay, I don’t see them having much of a problem here.  As long as their defense can shut Ringer down, Knowshon and the offense should carry the Dawgs to victory without much of a problem.  Michigan State’s decent but they’re nowhere near UGA’s level.

Jan. 1st, Gator Bowl:  Nebraska vs. Clemson

This could be interesting, Nebraska’s big bruisers against Clemson’s speedsters.  I like Clemson here, not for any particular reason other than a gut feeling though.  The blackshirt defense hasn’t been around for years and I think Spiller and Co can do some damage.

Jan. 1st, The Rose Bowl Game Presented By Citi:  Penn State vs. USC

How obnoxious is it that the Rose Bowl gets referred to as The Rose Bowl Game Presented By?  No other bowl gets that distinction.  I loathe the Rose Bowl and I blame them and the Big 10 and Pac 10 for that fact that we’re without a playoff today.  Them and their antiquated ideas.  HATE.  Do I really have to talk about this game?  I think we all know damn well that USC is going to beat Penn State.  Penn State looked extremely mortal by the end of the year and I think the Trojan defense is going to smack them around something good.  Then Pete Carroll will gloat about his victory and declare himself the real national champion.  You know it will happen.  While I’m talking about good old Pete, who are you people who are searching out information about his girlfriend and his affair?  I get blog hits every single day on this topic and I can’t help but wonder why anybody cares?  Please, one of you who will inevitably find me, leave a comment and tell me what’s so friggin fascinating about Pete’s woman?  Thank you in advance.

Jan. 1st, Fedex Orange Bowl:  Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech

Why is it that every year we get at least one crappy match up in the big games?  This is of course one of them.  But I’m done yet (what up Bama/Utah?)!  I get that Cincy is a surprise winner of the Big Least but do they really need to get rewarded with a BCS game?  I’m all for abolishing the Big Least from contention.  I know, the ACC isn’t that much better but at least it was competitive this year.  And Va Tech will probably kick the crud out of Cincy, limited on offense though they may be.  That defense is gonna have a blast.

Jan. 2nd, Cotton Bowl:  Mississippi vs. Texas Tech

Good lord, I didn’t even know Mississippi was in a bowl game.  I don’t think this is going to be much of a game, but TT is fun to watch on offense and Harrell and Crabtree, unfairly left out of the Heisman ceremony, ought to have a big day.  If Crabtree is healthy that is.  Crud, I forgot he was injured.  See how little attention I’ve been paying?  Well regardless, TT is gonna roll here.

Jan. 2nd, Autozone Liberty Bowl:  Kentucky vs. East Carolina

Why is this on Jan. 2nd?  I thought there would be one game but there are 3.  I don’t get it.  I’m going to take the Wildcats because I haven’t a clue.  I’ve liked ECU in recent years but I think they fell off this year.

Jan. 2nd, Allstate Sugar Bowl:  Utah vs. Alabama

Bama, you were so close to the national title game but instead you’re stuck playing Utah of all teams in the Sugar Bowl.  I know Utah was once coached by the immortal Urban Meyer, god of everything, but I don’t see them defeating Nick Saban, coach who never saw a job he didn’t like, no matter what they do.  Keep an eye on that freshman, Julio Jones, that Bama has.   He’s awesome.

Jan. 3rd, International Bowl:  Buffalo vs. Connecticut

Not sure why this bowl hits on Jan 3rd, but whatever.  I’ll go with UConn.

Jan. 5th, Tostitos Fiesta Bowl:  Ohio State vs. Texas

While Ohio State has improved from it’s early poor showing against USC, I think the Buckeyes are outgunned against Texas.  McCoy, still smarting from his Heisman loss, should be able to lead the Longhorns over Ohio State.  OSU has given up a lot more big plays on defense than I’m used to seeing in recent years, I expect Texas to exploit that.  Pryor is a phenom but he’s young and not good enough yet.

Jan. 6th, GMAC Bowl:  Ball State vs. Tulsa

This pick’s for Letterman, Ball State it is.

Jan. 8th, Fedex BCS National Championship Game:  Florida vs. Oklahoma

And here we have it, #1 vs. #2, also known as Nole’s nightmare bowl.  Could you pick two coaches that I loathe more than Meyer and Stoops?  Maybe, maybe if you had Spurrier and Paterno, then sure.  But it’s pretty hard to do.  Gators everywhere I turn…yeah I haven’t forgotten where Stoopsy came from.  Gah…I truly hate this game.  So we have Heisman winner this year vs. Heisman winner last year.  These match ups never seem to work out well for the current Heisman winner, they’re usually bested by the runner up.  So that favors Florida.  But for some reason I was actually rooting for Oklahoma to make this game, despite my Stoops hate.  I felt like OK was the one team that might be able to hang with the Gators offensively while occasionally stepping up on defense and making a stop.  My gut says to go with Florida but the bile rising up within refuses to let me do it.  I’m going with the Sooners, heart above logic.  I just can’t tolerate the Gators winning another title under Tebow.  Boomer Sooner…it hurts to say it but there you go.

So that’s my longest blog of all time right there…hope it was as fun for you as it was draining for me.  I really am looking forward to watching some football again tomorrow.  So many boring Saturday afternoons stretch out ahead of me after bowl season is done.  I always miss football when it’s gone, flawed though it may be.  I hope you enjoy the games…I’ll check in periodically to talk about what we’ve seen in some of the lesser bowls, then we’ll look at the big ones as they go, provided they are remotely interesting.  Happy Bowling friends!

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